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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24572083">A Light in the Darkness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/YamBits/pseuds/YamBits'>YamBits</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Frodo and Sam tenderness, Frodo is magic now, Frodo stays in the Shire au, Frottage, Gandalf stayed and invented therapy au, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Pegging, Post-Quest, Sick Character, Slow Burn, eventual wedding fic, focus on Frodo and Merry's friendship, spooky danger, the ringwraiths are back</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:07:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>111,249</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24572083</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/YamBits/pseuds/YamBits</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Frodo has settled into his life as Mayor, with Sam as his Deputy, when Merry arrives with news of an old terror, set on stalking Frodo.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Frodo Baggins &amp; Merry Brandybuck, Frodo Baggins/Sam Gamgee, Merry Brandybuck/Éowyn/Faramir (Son of Denethor II), Éowyn/Faramir (Son of Denethor II)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>299</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>261</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am back on my hobbits + spooky things kick.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merry Brandybuck stepped carefully down the hall, holding a candle before him so that he would not stumble. He was growing accustomed to Crickhollow, but not so accustomed to the place that he could walk its hallways in the dark. He lifted his free hand up to cover his mouth as he belched a little. His stomach was still settling after the hearty soup he’d made.</p><p>He was here alone, tidying and repairing things for Frodo, in preparation for the place to be sold. Merry was a little sad about that, though he knew it was hardly practical for Frodo to keep the house when he had resettled in Hobbiton, and when he wasn’t there he was in Michel Delving performing his Mayoral duties.   </p><p>Merry yawned and blinked. His eyes were playing tricks on him. He blinked again and frowned. At the end of the hallway, opposite the last bedroom, there was a faint flickering light on the far wall. Merry walked closer, curious. It must be from something outside, some light coming in through the window. But there weren’t any close neighbors.</p><p>Merry peered into the bedroom and saw that there was a single taper candle lit, on the bedside table. He stared at it, entering the bedroom. Curiosity was beginning to be replaced with fear. He was alone in Crickhollow. Or, at least, he’d thought he was. </p><p>Merry almost called out, forcing himself to believe this to be some kind of prank. Pippin must have come to visit and snuck in and…</p><p>But Pippin was far away, much too busy to visit. And he wouldn’t do this.</p><p>A coldness swept over Merry and in an instant it was as if he were back in Bree on that night two years ago, frozen by terror in the darkness as something evil waited in the shadows. </p><p><em>This is a trap</em>, Merry thought, <em>that candle was lit to draw me here. And now...</em></p><p>A feeling of falling into dark water pressed in on him and Merry fought against the swoon that was fast overtaking him. </p><p>Then, the candle before him and the candle in his hand both went out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Mayor and his Deputy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo sat back and yawned. The sun was sinking down into twilight and it was past time he should have left. If he didn’t stop now he’d get caught up in something else and he wouldn’t emerge until Sam poked his head in and told him to stop working. He’d been trying to be better about that. </p><p>He stood and stretched, then walked around his desk and out of the large office and into the hallway where Sam’s desk was positioned. He’d tried to get Sam to move the desk into the main office, there certainly was room enough, after all.</p><p>“You’re Deputy Mayor. We work hand in hand,” Frodo had said. Sam’s jaw set into a particularly stubborn look.</p><p>“If my desk is out here, then I can head them off. You’ve got enough to handle without everyone bothering you all the time.”</p><p>“Oh I suppose.”</p><p>Now though Sam looked as if he could use a deputy of his own. There was a cluster of three gentlehobbits standing before his desk speaking in low insistent voices.  </p><p>“I’m sorry, but the office is closing,” Frodo said gently. The three looked up.</p><p>“Mayor Baggins, if you please,” one of them began.</p><p>“He said we’re closed,” Sam said, standing, “I’m going to go lock the door. Figure which side of it you want to be on.” The hobbits looked taken aback a moment, and looked to Frodo, but whatever they’d seen in his face told them not to push Sam. They tipped their hats and retreated quickly, following Sam to the main entrance. </p><p>Frodo waited. When Sam returned they gathered their bags and coats and went out the back, locking up as they did. Sam put the large ring of keys into his pocket and walked down the steps. Together they walked through the backstreet until they came out onto the main high street. Frodo took a moment to observe the busy street. Michel Delving had come back strong as ever, and after the bounty of the past summer harvest, the place was flush with markets and food stalls. The trees and plants too seemed remarkably bright and luscious in a way that astounded Frodo. He gave Sam all the credit for this- his forestry work had done so much good for the entire Shire and now they were reaping the bounty. </p><p>Frodo smiled and stepped quicker to walk closer to Sam. On impulse, he reached out and put his arm around Sam’s elbow, so that they could walk arm in arm. Sam turned, looking a little surprised, but also delighted. </p><p>“Did you have a good day, Mr. Frodo?” he asked. </p><p>“I did, and you?” </p><p>“Ah, a bit long, but a good day. It feels good to get things sorted, don’t it?”</p><p>“It does,” Frodo smiled. “What do you suppose we should make for dinner-”</p><p>Frodo broke off. They were at the gate of their row house. Merry was sitting on the stoop. On seeing them he stood up and swayed on his feet.</p><p>“Merry?” Frodo let go of Sam’s arm and ran to catch him. Merry righted himself, but took Frodo’s hand when he drew near. “What are you doing out here?”</p><p>“I didn’t have my key,” Merry mumbled, “I need to talk to you.”</p><p>“Come in then,” Frodo said, digging in his pocket, but Sam already had his own key out and stepped in front to open the door.</p><p>“Hello Sam,” Merry said wearily.</p><p>“Mr. Merry,” Sam greeted him, “you look like you haven’t slept.”</p><p>“Other than a few hours rest, no, I haven’t. Not for two nights.”</p><p>“Merry!”</p><p>“I’ll explain,” Merry said as they went inside, “just lock the door behind you and we must check all of the rooms.” Frodo sent a worried look to Sam. Sam looked just as alarmed.</p><p> §</p><p>“It was one of <em>Them</em>,” Merry said, trembling as he said it. He was seated between Frodo and Sam on a long padded bench they used at the dinner table. Frodo had laid out a plate of bread and fruit and cheese, but it went untouched. </p><p>“One of whom, Merry?” Frodo asked though the terror in Merry’s face gave him a guess.</p><p>“One of the Riders. I only saw him for a moment, and what I saw was very vague and shadowy, but even so, I know that feeling.” </p><p>“But they’re gone,” Sam murmured. </p><p>“I thought so too, until I felt that chill. I tell you, it was that feeling of falling deep, into cold dark water. It was the same Black Breath that took me that night in Bree. It came out of the darkness for me and I ran. I got out the back door and kept running, just like poor old Fatty.”</p><p>“But how could one of Them still be around?” Sam asked, unhappily. “And why would one of Them come here?”</p><p>“As for that, I’m very much afraid that I have a guess,” Merry swallowed painfully. “The Riders knew Frodo had moved to Crickhallow. I think he mistook me for him. They would expect to find him there, after all.” Sam scowled, still unsatisfied with this. </p><p>“But what could one of Them want with Mr. Frodo now? It don’t make sense.”</p><p>“Revenge is a powerful motivator, and Frodo did break their Master’s power.”</p><p>Frodo would have objected to this, but he’d long learned that his friends were having none of it. Instead he pondered Merry’s words. </p><p>“If it’s out to kill me it did a bad job. It’s well known that I’m Mayor,” Frodo said slowly.</p><p>“Perhaps the Rider did not make inquiries, since he thought he knew where you lived.”</p><p>Frodo was silent.</p><p>“But this Rider will find out quick enough that he was wrong, the moment he asks someone. So, what to do now? Surely he won’t give up,” Sam said, “why, he will either track you, Mr. Merry, or he will start asking around. Either way, I feel like the wraith will end up...”</p><p>“Here,” Frodo finished.</p><p>“I know it was foolish to come straight here, but I didn’t know what else to do,” Merry said mournfully, “I couldn’t bear to wait for a letter to get to you.”</p><p>“No, I’m glad you are here,” Frodo said, “I would be terrified for you if you sent a letter. If we are together we can plan.”</p><p>“We mustn’t stay here tonight,” Sam said. “I wish I had Sting.”</p><p>“Where is it?” Merry asked.</p><p>“At Bag End,” Frodo said. “I asked him not to bring it to town.” He reached over and put his hand on Sam’s. “Well, you were right, my dear Sam, to want it close.” Sam remained silent, but he turned his hand over to clasp Frodo’s. “My goodness. I didn’t ever expect to be chased off in the night, fleeing from terrible things again.” Frodo paused before laughing a little. “But look on the bright side, at least this way I won’t have the Hornblowers to deal with for a while. Perhaps I can get a bit of rest.” Merry stared at him.</p><p>“Frodo, you are really terrible at making jokes,” he said.</p><p>“So then, where are we fleeing to?” Sam asked, “If it’s a Rider then we must seek for a sturdy place with lighted windows and folk about.” He paused, “Well, that’s anywhere here in town.”</p><p>“Oh! We could go to an inn,” Frodo said, perking up. “You’ll be our excuse, Merry! We’re staying at the inn, because you’re too good to sleep double and Sam and I don’t have but the two beds.”</p><p>“Why is this being put on me?” Merry frowned.</p><p>“Because you’re a strange fussy Bucklander,” Sam said. Merry gaped at him. Frodo laughed and threw an arm around Sam’s back.</p><p>“He’s getting better at being rude to gentry! Isn’t it wonderful?” he asked.</p><p>“Not when it’s me he’s being rude to.”</p><p>“Now, Mr. Merry,” Sam said with a teasing smile. Merry snorted and rose.</p><p>“Enough, you two are so jolly that you make me forget my errand. But not quite. Come on, I’ll help you gather your things. I don’t think we should linger. It will be dark soon.”</p><p>  §</p><p>They gathered very few items, mostly what they could stow into a small pack. Despite their haste, it was fully dark by the time they stepped outside the pretty little row house and Frodo locked up. Together the three walked down the high street. It was well lit and busy, and it was very difficult to feel at all fearful. Nevertheless, Frodo kept them to the well lit streets and they walked only a mile or so before coming to the Red Feather, one of Sam and Frodo’s favorite places to visit for a beer and a meal. </p><p>“What a cozy neighborhood you have here,” Merry sighed as they walked in. The inn was warm and lit throughout with twinkling lanterns. Despite it being a busy place, the talk was quieter than at most pubs. There were also many nooks to fit yourself into with friends, where it felt easy to talk to one another. This atmosphere was what had drawn Frodo to the place. </p><p>They had dinner and Frodo hired three rooms for the night. Dinner was pleasant and quiet and they spoke on light topics. If Frodo hadn’t known Merry and Sam as well as he did, he would have missed the watchful vigilance in their eyes. Frodo wasn’t sure what his own eyes showed, but he suspected that to the rest of the common room they looked like three happy hobbits entertaining one another without a care.</p><p>They went to their rooms soon after dinner. Frodo was going through his pack, when there was a soft knock. He straightened and went to the door and opened it, finding Sam in the hallway.</p><p>“Sir, I was thinking,” he said quietly, “maybe you ought not to be alone.” Frodo blinked and silence grew for a moment. Things had been so simple and peaceful just a short while ago. And now Sam was having to think like this once more. Frodo felt foolish that he hadn’t thought of the danger of sleeping alone. He nodded and stepped back, allowing Sam in. </p><p>“Thank you, Sam.”</p><p>They readied themselves for bed. Frodo finished changing into his nightgown and sank onto the bed, watching as Sam scrubbed his face at the washstand. </p><p>“Do you suppose it really is one of Them?” Frodo whispered. Sam stilled.</p><p>“You think Mr. Merry’s…”</p><p>“Cracked?”</p><p> “Hm. <em>Mistaken</em>?” Sam said, glancing at him.</p><p>“That would seem to be more likely.”</p><p>“But you don’t think so,” Sam noted, cocking his head. Frodo sighed.</p><p>“No, I don’t. Merry knows what he felt. And there’s something in his eyes and in his voice.”</p><p>Sam dried his face and stood, walking over to the bed, taking a seat beside Frodo. He looked into his face.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Sam murmured. Frodo smiled, touched.</p><p>“I’m alright, my dear,” he said softly. Sam gazed into his eyes. </p><p>There was another knock at the door. Frodo rose to answer it and found Merry in the hallway.</p><p>“I thought perhaps it’s best if you're not alone,” Merry said, then glanced into the room, spotting Sam. He stilled. “Oh. Oh! Ah.”</p><p>“Sam had the same idea,” Frodo chuckled and opened the door wider. “But come along! The more the merrier.”</p><p>“But. Er,” Merry sputtered.</p><p>“Come on Merry, the hallway is cold. And you need sleep.”</p><p>Merry still looked a little frazzled, but he stepped into the room.</p><p>“Hello, Sam,” he said sheepishly.</p><p>“Hello Mr. Merry.”</p><p>“I feel bad, here you are, paying for three rooms,” Merry laughed quietly as he took a seat, “and here we are, all piling into your room.”</p><p>“It’s a diversionary tactic.”</p><p>“Bree all over again,” Sam nodded, then winced.</p><p>“I really hope we don’t find that one of our rooms was broken into during the night,” Frodo murmured. Merry was silent and grim.</p><p>“Sorry, I suppose bringing up Bree wasn’t an altogether encouraging thought,” Sam sighed. He rose, made sure the door was bolted and pulled a chair in front of it.</p><p>“All the more because this time we don’t have Aragorn with us,” Merry said very quietly. Frodo glanced at him. </p><p>“We may not have Aragorn or Sting, but we aren’t defenseless,” he said and reached into his shirt, drawing out the Phial of Galadriel. Merry gasped and sat up, as the phial flickered, then brightened, as if a flame were rising up through it.</p><p>“Frodo!” Merry gasped. “Are you doing that?”</p><p>Frodo smiled faintly and nodded, allowing the light to draw back down.</p><p>“They taught him in Rivendell,” Sam said quietly as he returned to the bed.</p><p>“Oh. Something to do with your healing, then?” Merry asked. </p><p>“Yes. But the Enemy’s servants never have liked this light. I may be able to use it to defend us, if it comes to that.”</p><p>“I hope it won’t,” Merry said, “but I put my faith in you, Frodo.”</p><p>Frodo smiled faintly and put the phial away, then leaned over and cuddled into Merry’s side. Merry smiled and reached for Sam, tugging him close as well. They settled in together and Sam blew out the candle.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Fleeing to Tookland</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I can’t just leave. I’m Mayor,” Frodo sniffed. They were seated outside at a table behind the inn, taking their breakfast and tea.</p><p>“Yes you can, Frodo. This is serious,” Merry scowled. “Don’t you believe me?”</p><p>“I believe you. I’m just not sure that running off to hide is the answer.”</p><p>“Mayors go on trips all the time,” Merry snorted.</p><p>“But when they do, they don’t run off with their Deputy Mayor,” Frodo said fondly, kicking gently at Sam’s foot under the table. Sam bore the little kicks without complaint, only smiled.</p><p>“Oh, you want to stay, Sam, see to the paperwork?” Merry asked brightly. Sam turned a scowl on him that made Merry snort.</p><p>“But really, I can’t just disappear now,” Frodo said. </p><p>“But you need to disappear,” Merry murmured.</p><p>“It’s a hopeless effort. The gossips will track me down, unless I leave the Shire,” Frodo said gently. “Besides, even if I did manage to go without notice in some corner, I couldn’t just stay away.”</p><p>“Then go somewhere fortified and battle tested, where you can still carry on being Mayor, and have a good excuse for visiting besides,” Sam said. “Tookland.”</p><p>“Well, that is an idea,” Frodo nodded.</p><p>“Think we should write to Pip or just show up on his doorstep?” Merry asked.</p><p>“I vote show up on his doorstep. He’s done that to us countless times,” Frodo said dryly, “besides, we can be there quicker than a letter can.”</p><p>“If we leave now we can be there before tea,” Sam said. “I’ll send word to the Townhole that we’ve been called away to Tookland.” Sam paused. “And I think we need to send a message to Rohan and Gondor as well. They ought to know and be warned of this.”</p><p>“Good thinking,” Merry said. </p><p>“And I must send a message as well,” Frodo said quietly. He stood and walked off, into the field before them. Merry blinked, frowning and turned to look at Sam. Sam only watched Frodo.</p><p>“What’s he up to?” Merry asked in a whisper as Frodo raised a hand, palm up to the sky.</p><p>“Catching a butterfly looks like,” Sam said. He turned to Merry. “You’ve never seen him send a message to Mr. Gandalf?”</p><p>“What? No,” Merry blinked, “I knew Gandalf was about, but I thought he just showed up when he liked, as he did in the old days.”</p><p>“That won’t do anymore, I’m afraid,” Sam said softly. Merry was quiet, sharing in Sam’s solemn silence. Frodo brought his hand down, cradling a small blue winged butterfly and held it close to his face.</p><p>“How does he do it?” Merry whispered.</p><p>“I don’t know. He tried to explain it to me once, but I’m too slow to understand it,” Sam whispered back. “There’s some magic in it though.”</p><p>“Frodo seems so full of magic, ever since he came back from Rivendell,” Merry murmured. Sam laughed. “What?”</p><p>“He was magic before, too.”</p><p>Merry was quiet.</p><p>“I’m so glad he’s with us,” he said. Sam stilled and was about to answer when Frodo lifted his hand and turned back to them. The butterfly took off. Frodo began walking back, watching it fly away.</p><p>“There we are. Some help to look forward to,” he said. “So then, shall we get going to Took Bank?”</p><p>§</p><p>Sam passed a hand over his brow, and gazed uneasily around at the surrounding countryside. They were nearly to Took Bank and the afternoon was soft and golden, the air was warm for early fall. But the beauty around him did not dispel what he was feeling. </p><p>“Frodo,” he called softly. Frodo slowed his mount to walk beside Sam’s, casting a look at him. </p><p>“I feel it too,” Frodo said. Sam shuddered. It was the same sense of dread that he’d felt in the tower of Cirith Ungol- a feeling of some vigilant malevolence hovering just out of sight. </p><p>“Look,” Merry cried quietly. Sam looked where he was pointing. Far over the rolling hills buried in the distance, there was some small figure, moving along the road. </p><p>It was the Waymeet-Longbottom road that they’d just left. Seeing a figure on the road should not have been a cause for alarm. It was a busy main road and the figure was too far away to make out. But as Sam watched, the sense of dread deepened into a cold terror laced with despair. </p><p>“Sam, Merry,” Frodo called their attention back. His voice was soft but firm. He met their eyes. “Trust in me, both of you.” Sam felt himself ease just a little and the despair left his heart. Frodo turned back to the road before them. “Come, we must ride as quickly as we can.”</p><p>Sam urged his pony into a run, and the three of them raced off. Tookbank wasn’t far now. </p><p>§</p><p>They passed under the tall imposing gates of Tookbank and pulled their mounts up short of the stone steps at the main entrance Frodo slipped down from his pony. There were many Tooks milling about in the courtyard, blinking at this dramatic entrance with curiosity. Frodo was about to call out orders, when he looked up the steps and saw Pippin perched on the railing, peering down at them, looking very happy. </p><p>“What in the Shire, you three?” Pippin asked. “Has Michel Delving finally had enough of you?”</p><p>“There is a Rider pursuing us,” Frodo told him. Pippin’s easy smile fell away. Almost at once he was on his feet.</p><p>“Close the gate!” he ordered. “Archers, with me!”</p><p>“Pip,” Merry raced after him, “I’ll help!”</p><p>“As you like,” Pippin turned back, calling to his attendant, “take the Mayor and Deputy to my father.”</p><p>Frodo and Sam pushed themselves up the stairs, following after the attendant. </p><p>§</p><p>As darkness fell, Merry sat with Pippin on the wall, peering out into the gloom. </p><p>“Don’t get me wrong, I am glad to see you,” Pippin said, “but it shouldn’t take a Rider showing up to get you out to the West Farthing.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Merry said. “But you know, there’s no one keeping you from visiting Buckland.”</p><p>“Ug. Good counter.”</p><p>“But I am sorry for it,” Merry said, “At least you get to see Frodo and Sam more.”</p><p>“Mostly Sam. Frodo is so busy.”</p><p>“Well. I hope that’s a good thing.”</p><p>“I think so-”</p><p>Merry gasped and stood at attention, raising a hand for silence. Pippin stood as well and together they gazed down on the darkened countryside. There was movement out there. One lone figure. </p><p>“It’s not the Rider,” Merry said, allowing his hand to fall away from his sword.</p><p>“Oh, you can’t see-”</p><p>“We’d feel it.”</p><p>Pippin paused, squinting.</p><p>“That’s a hobbit?” he said. One of the archers nearby stepped close. </p><p>“It could be a trick. This Rider is magic isn’t he? Shall we shoot?” </p><p>“Don’t you dare, Everard,” Pippin growled.</p><p>“Oh! It’s Fatty!”</p><p>“What?” </p><p>“What is he doing?” Merry gasped. He stilled, eyes wide. </p><p>“Get him inside! Now!” Pippin ordered. Ten hobbits sprang into action, opening the gate a crack. </p><p>“Fatty, you fool,” Merry shouted into the darkness, “go to the gate! The gate!”</p><p>“Don’t you call me a fool Meriadoc!” came the grumpy response. “I’ll come up there, don’t think I won’t!”</p><p>“Fine! Just get inside!”</p><p>Merry raced down, his heart in his throat, as he heard the gate open, then only a moment later, close. The bolts were being shut tight as he ran out into the courtyard. Pippin was there, pulling Fatty into a hug. Merry breathed a sigh of relief and turned to see Frodo and Sam bolt down the steps to join him. </p><p>“What in the Shire is happening?” Fatty demanded as he approached. </p><p>“What were you doing out there?” Merry asked, stepping close to clasp his hand. </p><p>“Sam sent for me,” Fatty said, nodding to Frodo and Sam. “Now why was the gate closed?”</p><p>“There’s a Black Rider abroad, and he’s out there, trying to get at Frodo.” Fatty’s mouth dropped open, then he turned on Sam. </p><p>“Samwise Gamgee! You might have mentioned that!” </p><p>“I’m sorry sir!” Sam squeaked. The whole group stilled, looking at Sam in surprise. It wasn’t often that stern Sam Gamgee squeaked like that anymore. “I didn’t think you’d get the message so quickly- I only sent it this morning- and I didn’t think there would be danger. Not for anyone who wasn’t with Mr. Frodo.”</p><p>“Well, as one who has been mistaken for Frodo by those very creatures, I don’t appreciate being set in their path without knowing it,” Fatty said, but his scowl fell away, “Ah well. But enough. I forgive you! Come on, it’s cold out here and I’m starving!”</p><p>“I’m going back up on the wall,” Pippin sighed, “but please make yourselves at home.” He turned away. “Coming Merry?”</p><p>“Yes,” Merry bid them goodnight and followed after Pippin. </p><p>“What was Sam thinking of?” Pippin said under his breath. </p><p>“What is Sam usually thinking of?”</p><p>“I don’t see how Fatty risking his neck to get here helps Frodo.”</p><p>“Ah. Well. I have suspicions.”</p><p>“What?” Pippin turned back. Merry chuckled. </p><p>§</p><p>“Did you find them?” Sam asked softly as they walked the halls. </p><p>“I did, never fear,” Fatty said. </p><p>“What are you two conspiring about?” Frodo asked, turning back to smile at them. Fatty sniffed, pretending to be offended, but he opened his jacket to reveal a sword in its sheath, strapped to his belt, and a bag, looped over his shoulder. Frodo’s eyes widened. Fatty removed the bag and pressed it into Frodo’s hands.</p><p>“Your mithril coat is in that bag,” Fatty said and unclasped the sword, also holding it out. “And here is your Sting.” </p><p>“Thank you, but Sting is Sam’s sword,” Frodo said quietly. Sam stopped forward, and shyly took the sheathed blade. “Fatty, thank you for this. Truly. This means the world to me.”</p><p>“Me as well,” Sam said sheepishly, “and I am ever so sorry.”</p><p>“It’s quite alright Sam,” Fatty smiled. </p><p>“Come visit us sometime,” Sam said, “I’ll cook anything you like.”</p><p>“Oh!” Fatty suddenly looked much more amiable.</p><p>“Now, solve this mystery for me,” Frodo said, “how did you get all the way here from Budgeford? </p><p>“Ah, as for that,” Fatty coughed.</p><p>“Mr. Fatty wasn’t in Budgeford,” Sam said, just a touch of slyness in his voice.</p><p>“Yes,” Fatty said slowly, squinting at Sam, “the letter you sent was addressed to me at Hobbiton. How did you know I was there?”</p><p>“Did you think I wouldn’t find out you’re courting my sister, Mr. Fatty?” Sam asked.</p><p>“But I just started!”</p><p>“Which sister?” Frodo asked, curious.</p><p>“May,” Sam said.</p><p>“Oh! And how do you know that?” Fatty demanded.</p><p>“Sam is Chief Investigator as well as Deputy Mayor. He has spies,” Frodo said. Fatty regarded them with suspicion.</p><p>“You are such a terror, Frodo Baggins. I know that’s a lie. But you make me wonder.”</p><p>“Now you’ll just go on wondering.”</p><p>“Rotters. Both of you!” Fatty said and walked ahead. Sam sent Frodo a conspiratorial look and chuckled. “And after I risked my life to bring you your magical armaments.”</p><p>Frodo bounded up behind him and threw his arms around Fatty. </p><p>“I'm sorry. You know I love you,” he said. Fatty laughed. </p><p>“Alright then, I forgive you,” he said and turned back. “Sam, I am sending you a list of my favorite foods.”</p><p>“Yes, sir.”</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo, Sam, and Fatty took dinner with Thain Paladin and Thainess Eglantine. After the meal they retired to the family’s quarters and waited for any word. None came.</p><p>“Are Merry and Pippin going to stay up there all night?” Fatty asked.</p><p>“Pip is the leader of the Hobbitry-in-Arms,” Paladin said quietly, “It’s his duty.”</p><p>“And Merry will be right there with him,” Frodo said. “The lights upon the walls and their vigilance will keep us safe I believe. This is a creature that strikes in lonely places. At least, that is how it was before.”</p><p>“Before, there were nine of them,” Eglantine said, “how many pursue you, Frodo?”</p><p>“We have only seen one, but I do not take that to mean that there are no others.”</p><p>“They’re stubborn things,” Sam said grimly, “they ‘ve seemed to fall before and came back.”</p><p>“But what are they?” Paladin asked.</p><p>“Servants of the Enemy and creatures of the greatest terror,” Fatty said. Sam glanced at him in surprise. </p><p>“Kings,” Frodo whispered, “at least, they were once. They were given rings of power, and lived long extended lives, reigning over their people and becoming more and more cruel, as they gathered wealth and power to themselves. Some became sorcerers and some sat upon great treasuries. In time, their bodies withered away and they became wraiths. The rings twisted their minds until they became slaves to the One.” Frodo sank into silence, and Sam watched him. He sensed fear in Frodo though it did not show on his face.  </p><p>“That power was defeated,” Paladin said, “and the Enemy’s servants destroyed. I thought that these Riders were destroyed as well. Their leader fell in battle with the Lady Eowyn. As for the others...”</p><p>“We saw them,” Sam said quietly, “They came for us at the end, but they were not fast enough and they perished in the mountain’s fire.”</p><p>Sam sank into silence, the weight of memory pushing down hard on him suddenly. The sky had been black and the air poisoned and full of ash, and death was so close, for him and for Frodo.</p><p>Frodo’s hand touched Sam’s and he turned. Frodo moved closer and put an arm around his back. </p><p>“If it really is one of these Riders,” Paladin said, “then know that the Tooks will defend you. Both of you.”</p><p>Frodo raised his gaze and smiled.</p><p>“Thank you, my Thain.” </p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Night Debates</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Will you sleep with me?” Frodo asked quietly as he and Sam walked down the darkened hallway. He wasn’t going to wait and make Sam have to suggest it this time.</p><p>“Yes, sir,” Sam said and went to change for bed. Frodo stepped into his own room and sat down at the window. The stars were very pretty and for a moment his heart found peace.</p><p>Sam came in a moment later, closing the door behind him, and he came to sit with Frodo at the window seat.</p><p>“I feel very guilty making the Tooks risk themselves to defend me,” Frodo said.</p><p>“You know there’s no reason to feel guilty for accepting help.”</p><p>“Gandalf would tell me the same, I think,” Frodo murmured. Sam moved closer and took his hand. Frodo watched him, struck by how beautiful Sam was in the starlight.</p><p>“It’s the Rider putting folks in danger, not you,” Sam said. Frodo eased.</p><p>“And I suppose the Tooks have a right to defend their home.”</p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>Frodo smiled and moved close to embrace Sam.</p><p>“Dear hobbit,” he whispered. Sam’s eyes went soft and he turned his face to press his cheek to Frodo’s briefly, before shyly drawing back. Frodo stroked his hand. He was also so touched by Sam’s shy loving gestures.</p><p>“Come now, Mr. Frodo,” Sam murmured, “you must be tired out. Let’s go to bed.”</p><p>“As you like, Sam.”</p><p>They readied themselves for bed and crawled in under the blankets.</p><p>Though he was greatly comforted by Sam’s presence, Frodo’s thoughts still turned down into dark wandering fears. He lay there for a long time, pondering. After a while, Sam turned over and blinked at him, peering into his face.</p><p>“What is it?” he asked. Frodo curled just a little closer to him.</p><p>“Even if they survived the fires of the mountain, they should have been formless things,” Frodo whispered to him. Sam moved closer now, his shyness gone, and he drew Frodo into an embrace.</p><p>“Well. So they should have been,” he agreed. Frodo felt tears of fear burning in his eyes.</p><p>“When they lost their mounts and forms outside of Rivendell, they had to return to Mordor to be given forms once more- they had to receive forms from Him.” Frodo felt Sam stiffen and then shuddered, but he couldn’t stop himself from going on. “How then, how can they be back? Unless He has returned?” Frodo gasped.</p><p>“It isn’t so. Can’t be.”</p><p>“But how-”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Sam said, “but me and you, we saw that tower fall. We saw that power break.”</p><p>“Evil always returns.”</p><p>“Not like that it don’t.”</p><p>“Sam, you stubborn hobbit,” Frodo complained through his tears.</p><p>“And I’ll go on being stubborn,” Sam said. He brushed his hand through Frodo’s hair. “Hey,” he softened his voice, “before, you asked me to trust in you. Well, now you just trust in me. Whatever has come here is a last gasp. The power behind it is shattered. It might still terrify, but it is a broken thing- like old Sharkey. Only here to bring misery and sorrow if it can. We just can’t let it.”</p><p>Frodo was silent for a long moment and Sam continued to pet his hair. Frodo shifted and moved up, kissing his brow.</p><p>“You are such a comfort to me.”</p><p>“I’m always here for you,” Sam said shyly. “And, you’re a comfort to me as well, you know.” He took a breath, adding, “this afternoon, setting eyes on that figure in the distance, I felt fear like I haven’t in such a long time. But you snapped me from it. You called me back, and eased my heart with just a few words. And I did trust in you.”</p><p>“I will not wear a sword again,” Frodo whispered, “but even so, I will not allow that thing to touch you.”</p><p>“Use your power to protect yourself as well,” Sam murmured.</p><p>“My power,” Frodo mused, “I don’t really know what that is. I’m still learning.” He fell into silence and Sam wrapped an arm around his back, to stroke the back of his neck. “It frightens me,” Frodo whispered. Sam stilled.</p><p>“Well,” he said slowly, “it don’t frighten me.”</p><p>“Truely?” Frodo asked, looking into his eyes.</p><p>“No,” Sam said, “there’s always been things about you I didn’t understand. Big powerful things even, that I could only see a bit of. You’re like that and sometimes it shines through, but-” Sam paused, lost in memory, “but… even so. It don’t change what I feel. Besides,” he paused again to gather his thoughts, “that bit of magic they placed in you, I trust in it. Maybe it’s not enough to fully heal the hurt in you, but it’s given you a chance. There’s light in you.”</p><p>“There’s light in me because that light is tended,” Frodo said softly.</p><p>“And I’m grateful to Mr. Gandalf for that each and every day,” Sam murmured. Frodo blinked, then laughed. Sam smiled to hear that sound. He bent and kissed Frodo’s head, then kissed his hand as well. Frodo eased, his eyes slipping shut.</p><p>“I love you,” Frodo said.</p><p>“I love you, too,” Sam said back.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo was quiet, and after long minutes his breathing evened out into sleep. Sam, though, wasn’t able to slip into sleep as easily.</p><p>He lingered on the memory of Gandalf’s first visit to Bag End since their return from the journey. It had come after Frodo decided to try and stay in the Shire. Sam didn’t often dwell on that time, as it had been so full of fear and pain and uncertainty. But things had begun to get better after that visit. Gandalf had come and spent long hours, speaking with Frodo in private. At last they had emerged and Frodo told him that he would need to go away to Rivendell for at least a few months and then Gandalf said he would be staying near the Shire, and that he would not be leaving on a ship anytime soon.</p><p>Frodo was still grumbling about this piece of it, clearly unhappy, even after he and Gandalf sat down to tea. Gandalf met these complaints with a smile.</p><p>“I am a burden to you,” Frodo said, “and I don’t want to be. You say you are tired, then please, find rest.”</p><p>Sam had wanted to speak, but hadn’t felt it was his place.</p><p>“I still have work to be done,” Gandalf said.</p><p>“But that ship coming in a year’s time- you would be leaving on it with Bilbo if I were not staying. I can't bear that."</p><p>“My dear hobbit,” Gandalf said, “I have been set many tasks and none is more of a joy than this- giving you a chance to stay here where you are loved.”</p><p>“I still feel guilty.”</p><p>“Then we’ll work on that, along with the rest of it,” Gandalf smiled.</p><p>“And what about Bilbo? He’ll be all alone.”</p><p>“Alone? Bah. There will be many friends on that ship and he’s going to meet many more friends. Besides, he makes friends wherever he goes.”</p><p>“He also makes enemies wherever he goes.”</p><p>“Give the old fellow some credit, Frodo. He has mellowed<em> a little</em> in his old age.”</p><p>“If you say so, though I don’t believe it,” Frodo had grumbled.</p><p>Since then, Gandalf’s visits- first to their home at Bag End, and later to the little rented row home in Michel Delving- had been numerous, and deeply comforting to both Frodo and Sam. During the last several visits, Gandalf has spent time with Sam, just the two of them. Being with Gandalf, and talking on the old hurts and the hard times, somehow it had eased Sam. Then, at the last visit, Gandalf had listened as Sam spoke his secret heart.</p><p>“I love him the way a husband might,” Sam had whispered. “And I don’t know what to do with those feelings. I never have.”</p><p>“Isn’t the custom then, to go on one knee and declare your love and commitment?” Gandalf asked.</p><p>“I can’t do that!” Sam said, incredulous.</p><p>“Whyever not?”</p><p>“I’d not spring something like that on him. Not now especially. And I’d sure not lead in with a marriage proposal!”</p><p>“I suppose you might not want to be that abrupt with it,” Gandalf said with a smile. “But the rest? Sam, why not now? Do you not want to open your heart to him?”</p><p>“I do, very much, I think,” Sam said. “Oh. But if there was a time for it, I’ve passed it by.”</p><p>“Well my dear hobbit, I don’t believe that,” Gandalf said gently. Sam remained silent. After a moment Gandalf went on. “Remember to be gentle with yourself. You are such a kind soul, Samwise. And you have made such a life for yourself and for Frodo. I am astounded by you, just as I am astounded by Frodo.”</p><p>“That’s very kind, sir.”</p><p>“And I know that life is built on the love between you. When you are afraid, or when you doubt yourself, maybe you can think on how strong that love has proven to be.”</p><p>“Maybe so,” Sam had said.</p><p>Now Sam lay, holding Frodo in his arms. Everyone thought he was so very brave, but Sam knew the truth of it. If he was truly brave then he would have long ago confessed his feelings. But it wasn’t so bad. Frodo loved him, trusted him, wanted to curl up in his arms. They lived and worked together. They’d built a life together. He ought to be happy with that.</p><p>And he was happy. But those feelings grew everyday even so. And now, with something coming to threaten Frodo once more, the feelings sharpened into something that made Sam desperate. He looked over Frodo’s head to the window and beyond the small twinkling stars.</p><p><em>Elbereth</em>, he thought, <em>your light touched me once when I had great need to protect him. Will you let me invoke your name again?</em></p><p>Sam gazed at the stars for a long time, until sleep finally found him.</p><p>§</p><p>The next morning Frodo strolled the walls surrounding the Great Smials with his cousins. The air was cool and they settled together at the north end of the walls, where there was a small garrison house. From Frodo’s position, he could see Tuckborough in the distance to the east.</p><p>“Our riders have not spotted anything,” Pippin was saying, “we’ve got a network of watchers in Tookland that we generally know when some visitor is headed in. It makes me very uneasy.”</p><p>“He may be waiting to see if we leave this place,” Frodo said, “but I am afraid that if we do not, he will make an attempt to break in. He hasn’t come all the way from Mordor to be turned back by a stone wall.”</p><p>“Oh, but Aragorn said these things don’t go in for such attacks, not when they haven’t got their full numbers and full power.”</p><p>“I hope you are right.”</p><p>“If he does come, what can we do?” Pippin asked, “I don’t think our arrows will do much good.”</p><p>“Frodo has something that might work a little better,” Merry said slowly. Frodo nodded and drew out the phial. It’s light was dim in the sunshine, but it still gave off a soft glow to Frodo’s eyes.</p><p>“The Rider might not like that.”</p><p>“Has Gandalf or the Elves taught you how to use it in any way that could be used against the Rider?” Merry asked.</p><p>“I’m not sure. They’ve mostly talked to me about healing. The light itself seems to be the deadliest part of this thing.”</p><p>“And how is your healing coming?”</p><p>“It’s coming along I suppose,” Frodo said vaguely.</p><p>“Oh, is this a sensitive subject?”</p><p>“No. It’s just that I feel guilty I haven’t done as much as I should have.”</p><p>“You’re neglecting yourself? Frodo!” Merry scolded.</p><p>“Merry, don’t,” Pippin said. Merry blinked, turning to look at Pippin. “Things have been very hard here. Frodo and Sam might not let on, but the Shire has needed a lot from both of them, and I’m not surprised to hear he hasn’t had the time or energy for such. I know that most nights I come home, eat, and climb into my bed.”</p><p>“This all just tells me that I should have come sooner,” Merry said, “I could have helped.”</p><p>“Buckland demands as much from you,” Frodo said gently.</p><p>“No not as much. My father and mother have it in hand. Besides, Buckland was not as hard hit by Sharkey.” Merry paused, “anyway, you’re supposed to be rebuilding connections. How can you do that if you're overworked with no time to yourself? No, I feel awful I haven’t come to help sooner.”</p><p>“Oh Merry,” Frodo laughed, “the work is helping in that way. I’m beginning to see the Shire as home again. I’m finding a place here. And I think that's progress.”</p><p>Pippin was called away by one of the archers, and Frodo and Merry remained in place, waiting to see if Pippin would come back.</p><p>“Though you say you haven’t done all that you should have, you seem very happy,” Merry said softly, picking up the conversation. Frodo lifted his gaze and met Merry’s eyes. “It’s like things were, a bit anyway, you laughing and teasing us, but then there are moments when I can tell things aren’t as they were.”</p><p>“Oh Merry,” Frodo crawled over and threw his arms around him.</p><p>“No regrets?” Merry asked softly, “for staying, I mean?”</p><p>“No,” Frodo reached up and ruffled his curls. “My heart is full, and I have a purpose.”</p><p>“So being Mayor helps, then?”</p><p>“It does, but that’s not the purpose I was talking about.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Gandalf has set me a task.”</p><p>“That seems a bit unfair after everything.”</p><p>Frodo shook his head.</p><p>“It’s not like that. It’s something that will help me as well. And it’s rooted in why I decided to stay in the first place.”</p><p>“And that is?” Merry asked. Frodo felt himself still. Merry’s eyes widened. “You don’t have to answer. I’m being pushy. I understand.” Frodo sighed and pulled Merry into an embrace. They settled together in silence, eyes cast out over the rolling countryside. Merry eased and began puffing on his pipe. Frodo let his cheek rest against the stone wall and sank into memory.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Quiet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few months after their return from the great journey, Frodo had caught Sam in a quiet moment in the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and watched Sam cook. He smiled, filled with warmth. </p><p>“When are you going to move in and join me Sam?” he asked. Sam turned around to look at him. He didn’t look surprised by the question, but there was an awkwardness in his gaze, and he dropped his eyes to the floor. Frodo blinked, adding, “There’s no need to come yet, if you don’t want to. But you know the Gaffer is close at hand, and he will be very well looked after by Widow Rumble.”</p><p>“But that’s not it, Mr. Frodo.”</p><p>Frodo peered at him. </p><p>“My dear Sam, the invitation is open to your bride-to-be as well.”</p><p>He thought Sam would blush, but he didn’t. He looked up at him.</p><p>“I had a talk with Rose yesterday,” Sam said slowly, “We shan’t be married.” Frodo was silent for a moment, stunned.</p><p>“Oh, Sam, I’m sorry. How awful,” Frodo murmured, unsure of what to say, and how much to push into Sam’s business. “I’ll fetch something strong and we can talk if you want? Or, if you’d rather not dwell on it, we could talk on whatever you like.” Sam smiled faintly at him.</p><p>“You are very kind. But there’s not much to say about it,” he paused a moment, “everyone expected me to fit back into the place I left. But I can’t.”</p><p>Frodo stilled, a creeping coldness growing in the pit of his stomach.</p><p>“What went wrong Sam?” he asked gently, “can you hope to set it right? I know she loves you. And you love her.”</p><p>“But it isn’t the kind of love that it ought to be for a marriage,” Sam said quietly. “Twould not be right for either of us. Not now.”</p><p>“But what went wrong?” Frodo asked again, heartbroken for Sam. Sam seemed to come back to himself and he looked at Frodo again.</p><p>“Not wrong,” he said so softly it was almost a whisper. Silence stretched between them. “Things have been set back into their place in Shire now, but not for me,” Sam continued, “I know that’s the way of things. The folks who go off to protect those easy uncomplicated futures, sometimes can’t take that way for themselves, or they don’t want to.”</p><p>“But you deserve an uncomplicated future now. You should be whole,” Frodo said, feeling the burn of tears in his eyes. Sam met his eyes and Frodo lost his composure. “You were meant to be healed, and strong and solid!” Sam drew in a breath, going to Frodo and taking his hands. “I thought you were. I thought you were spared. I thought you were alright!” </p><p>“Frodo,” Sam murmured and stepped close to embrace him. Frodo grasped him tight, pain wracking him. </p><p>“What went wrong?” Frodo gasped out. </p><p>“Not wrong. I told you,” Sam murmured back to him, “changed. I don’t want that future anymore. Do you understand?”</p><p>Frodo hadn’t. He had tried, but he had too much to think about. They both let the conversation rest, each retreating to his thoughts. Time passed, months passed and still Frodo pondered. He didn’t press Sam again about moving in with him, though he still didn’t understand Sam’s reluctance. There were more questions now, and so Frodo took to the roads of the Shire, walking from Farthing to Farthing, watching and listening, and thinking. </p><p>As Winter set in, Frodo left the roads and resumed his pondering by the fire. Sam would come and sit with him most evenings, and more often than not he stayed over. </p><p>When spring came again, he sent a message out to Gandalf, asking him to come to the Shire. A few weeks later, Gandalf knocked at his window one night. This time Frodo smiled at him and rose slowly, going to the door.</p><p>They spent the evening together in warm gentle conversation, until at last silence stretched and Frodo sat up a little straighter.</p><p>“I have decided not to go across the Sea.”</p><p>Gandalf gazed at him. </p><p>“Is this truly what you want, Frodo?” he asked. </p><p>“I’ve been asking myself that,” Frodo said softly. “I’ve become so used to doing what is needed, that I’ve learned to ignore my own feelings.”</p><p>“And are you afraid that you are making this choice to stay for the sake of your friends?”</p><p>“But I’m not.”</p><p>“Frodo,” Gandalf sighed. “I would not press so, but I am very worried about you.”</p><p>“Thank you, but I have wrestled with this for months. I think that I have found the true wish of my heart.”</p><p>Gandalf was silent for a long while.</p><p>“Does this have anything to do with Sam’s decision not to wed Miss Cotton?” Frodo sighed and sipped his tea. “Frodo,” Gandalf asked gently, “Are you staying because you're worried about him?”</p><p>“That’s not it. I am worried about him, but that’s not it,” Frodo shook his head. </p><p>“But this choice does have something to do with it?” Gandalf pressed quietly. Frodo nodded slowly.</p><p>“It woke me up.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“I had fallen into a dream I think,” Frodo said quietly, “I went through the motions of my old life, but it was like sitting in the middle of a conversation and slowly losing the ability to hear. I was disconnected from it all and nothing inside me made me want to fight to rejoin the conversation. Everyone else was moving on and I thought, if they could carry on like that then it would be alright if I just slipped out and let the world carry on. I was so tired.” </p><p>Frodo sipped his tea pausing for a long moment to gather his thoughts. </p><p>“But then Sam said he wasn’t going to wed Miss Rose and it was like a bit of sound got through to me. It wasn’t just me who felt wrong trying to fit back into a life made for another time.”</p><p>And then I left off writing, and began my walks. I walked from one end of Shire to the other and I started to see that no one was untouched. The world was not carrying on. They were trying to mind you- it was time to plant and hold the annual festivals, but everyone was shattered. Some more than others, but, no hobbit escaped fear and despair.” </p><p>Imagine watching your home go from being a safe place where you trust those around you, to realizing that you are never safe and those you love can be taken from you - violently taken from you - at any time. And the hard times taught some hobbits power and ruthlessness. It poisoned their hearts and some of them made terrible decisions. Some of them murdered.”</p><p>I may be tired, but I was wrong about everything else. Our home has not returned to what it was and no one is carrying on. They are like me. Too deeply hurt to go on living properly.”</p><p>“And why would that make you want to stay?”</p><p>“It’s a connection, isn’t it? I feel this place now, in a way that I did not when we first came back. It makes me want to stay and try for the healing that can be done here. If I can be healed, then maybe the Shire can be as well.”</p><p>“You think you might have a part to play yet?”</p><p>“A small part, if anything. But maybe.” He fell silent. “I set out to do what I could for this place. That desire has not faltered. And it feels as if there is more I can do to help the Shire become home again, for myself and for my fellow hobbits.” Gandalf considered this, frowning. Frodo took a breath and tried again. “And if I can do that, then I want to stay where I’m loved. I know that I am hurt very badly, and what I can do is limited. But I still have life left in me. And I want to live.” Gandalf’s expression remained worried, but something in his eyes eased. He studied Frodo for a long moment.</p><p>“Alright, my friend,” he said softly. “There are things that can be done yet.” Frodo had felt himself smiling. “You give me hope, Frodo Baggins.”</p><p>Now as he gazed over the countryside, Frodo felt that need to protect and repair his home rise once more.</p><p>“Sam healed the land,” Frodo said quietly. Merry, still wrapped in his arms turned a little with a start. “he made it look like home again, though different than it was before. That act healed the Shire, but it also healed him. Peace came back to him while he watched his trees sprout and grow strong. My task is similar- but I must heal the soul of the Shire.”</p><p>“But,” Merry said slowly, “that seems much more difficult. How’s that?”</p><p>“Like Sam’s gift there’s some magic in it, but it’s up to me to use my own wisdom to find those most in need of healing.”</p><p>“Sam had a box of magical dirt.”</p><p>“And I have the phial.”</p><p>Merry pondered this.</p><p>“Then, you’ll use what you learned in Rivendell for yourself to do it?” Merry asked. Frodo nodded. “You know best. But it does seem a lot to take into your shoulders- and then to be Mayor as well.”</p><p>“I intend to retire from that post.”</p><p>“And Sam will take over?”</p><p>“We still have elections in the Shire, Merry.”</p><p>“Ah, was that a dig at Buckland?” Merry squawked. </p><p>“No,” Frodo smiled, wicked suddenly, “but it could be, future Master of the Hall.” Merry laughed. “But, I hope that Sam may take it up.”</p><p>“If he runs I’ve no doubt he’ll win,”</p><p>Frodo smiled and tightened his embrace.</p><p>“So you stayed to try and heal the Shire?” Merry asked softly. </p><p>“I’ve hurt your feelings, haven’t I?” </p><p>“Oh no,” Merry protested weakly. “Just.” He frowned. “I thought you might have stayed because of something you wanted. I don’t like to think of you staying on just to fulfill that savior role everyone keeps heaping on you.”</p><p>“It’s something that makes my heart feel alive.”</p><p>“Yes, but what do you want, Frodo?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“What do you want for yourself? For your future?”</p><p>“I,” Frodo paused. “I have everything that I want. I think.”</p><p>Merry studied him.</p><p>“So have you tried it?”</p><p>“Tried what?”</p><p>“To heal someone’s heart.”</p><p>“Oh. Well, I’ve tried a few small things,” Frodo looked uncomfortable. </p><p>“Then that’s amazing,” Merry said quietly. Frodo looked up. He smiled and then eased. </p><p>§</p><p>Late into the afternoon, Frodo and Merry returned to the Great Smials, taking their tea in the library. Afterward, Frodo began browsing the shelves and settled in with a book. Merry found a small desk, squeezed into a nook among the shelves and began working on correspondence. He needed to write to several people back in Buckland. He was in the middle of a letter to his father when a happy cry from Frodo brought him up out of his thoughts.</p><p>“Sam! There you are!” </p><p>Merry blinked and peeked around the corner only to see Frodo throw himself over Sam, who had taken a seat on the couch by the fire. </p><p>“Ah! Oh save me!” Sam laughed as they grappled together, Frodo kissing Sam’s ears and tickled him as Sam squeaked in delight. Merry chuckled and turned back to his work. </p><p>“Help Mr. Merry!” Sam cried out, “Mr. Frodo’s attacking me!”</p><p>“I am confident you can handle Frodo’s nonsense,” Merry said, leaning back to peer around the corner. Sam was pressed all the way back on the sofa arm, Frodo draped on top of him. </p><p>“On the contrary,” Frodo said smugly, “Sam let’s me get away with absolutely everything.” </p><p>“Sam you must throw him off. He never learned manners, you see.”</p><p>“Oh no I haven’t the heart for such,” Sam said warmly and reached up to pull Frodo down into a hug. “I’ll just have to accept my fate.”</p><p>“Frodo, look what you’ve done,” Merry scolded. Frodo laughed and curled himself under Sam’s arm, looking very content with himself. Merry laughed, and went back to his letter, his heart lighter. </p><p>Around five, the three decided to retreat back to Frodo’s room for a nap. They expected to be up late into the night. When Merry let himself think of the Rider, he felt a sense of foreboding. He meant to stay up all night with Pippin on the wall. </p><p>Merry took Frodo’s bed and Sam and Frodo crowded onto a low trundle that they pulled from under the bed. </p><p>“Mr. Frodo, you don’t want to sleep on the bed?” Sam asked with a smile. Frodo lay down on the trundle.</p><p>“No. I have not seen much of you today and I want a cuddle.”</p><p>“Oh,” Sam blushed a little.</p><p>They could have all been proper hobbits and napped separately, but in times of danger they were finding themselves reverting to old habits.  </p><p>Merry lay on his side and watched Frodo curl himself around Sam’s back. Sam stretched and drew Frodo’s arm around to hold against his chest. From his position on the tall bed he could see Frodo nuzzle into Sam’s brown curls before settling close with a sigh. Merry watched a moment more, comforted, then closed his eyes. </p><p>He had been a little surprised to see Frodo be so rambunctious with Sam and so open about asking for a cuddle. He wouldn’t have done that even a few months ago. It told him that they had grown closer since he’d last visited- back when he’d helped move some of Frodo’s furniture and belongings into the rented row house in Michel Delving. He was glad. </p><p>Even though Frodo might not have been as open with his affection, Merry had long seen that care between them. He’d even teased Frodo about it, years ago. He felt a little bad about that now, though there hadn’t been any meanness in it. </p><p>Merry had first done it not long after they set out on their great journey. It had been that night in Crickhollow that had brought it to his attention- Sam’s look of unhappiness when Frodo blurted out that he couldn’t trust anyone, Sam’s care in laying out Frodo’s pack, and Frodo’s gentle words to Sam in the hallway before bed.</p><p>Merry had observed and tucked the knowledge away, like he did for so many things he observed. It wasn’t until they were staying at Bombadil’s that he was presented with an opportunity to tease Frodo.</p><p>He, Frodo and Pippin had set out for the spring out behind the house one afternoon. He and Pippin had shucked their clothes and slipped into the water. </p><p>“It’s warm!” Pippin had cried, “Oh good old Bombadil knows how it ought to be done! I was afraid once we were out of the Shire it would be bathing in streams or in tubs of cold water like Big People. No, but this is as things ought to be.” Merry heaved a sigh and lay back, floating.</p><p>“Are you sure you won’t come in, Frodo? It’s lovely,” he said dreamily. </p><p>“No I told you I already bathed,” Frodo said sitting on the side, not looking up from his book, “while you two were out walking this morning.” Pippin gave a great laugh.</p><p>“Very nice, Merry!” he cried pointing to his belly. Merry glanced down at his cock jutting up from between his legs. He huffed and slipped back down into the water raising his eyebrows.</p><p>“What do you expect? It’s warm,” he said.</p><p>“Estella must adore you.”</p><p>“You should see her cock.”</p><p>“Ooooh.”</p><p>“Can she take you all at once?” Pippin asked.</p><p>“Rude,” Merry told him firmly. “And for shame, Pip! Is that what you’re going for? I suppose you jump on your Poppy like an excited pup and take your pleasure. Do you even give her the courtesy of coming before you do?” Pippin cried out, injured.</p><p>“Frodo, do you hear that? My own cousin!” he shouted. Frodo glanced up.</p><p>“You started it, Pip.”</p><p>“I did not!”</p><p>“If you marry Poppy,” Frodo said slowly. “everyone will call you Pip and Pop.” Pippin gave him a sour look. </p><p>“Focus, Frodo.”</p><p>“Hm.”</p><p>“I’ll have you both know,” Pippin said, turning back, “I’m a very gentle considerate lover.” Merry chuckled.</p><p>“I bet half of Hobbiton is more gentle than you.”</p><p>“Name one!” Pippin challenged sinking into the water up to his shoulders. Merry paused.</p><p>“You know, Sam strikes me as the type of fellow who would be a very attentive lover,” he said. Pippin considered this and then shrugged. Merry shifted his gaze to Frodo and a smile crept onto his face. “Is he then, Frodo?” Frodo glanced up again.</p><p>“What?” he asked. Merry hid his smile.</p><p>“Is Sam a gentle lover?” he asked, innocently. Frodo blinked.</p><p>“I don’t know. We don’t talk about that sort of thing very much,” he said and went back to his book. Pippin hooted and Merry broke into helpless giggles. Frodo looked up again, frowning.</p><p>“What?” he asked testily, then sat up straighter. “Oh. Oh!” Merry and Pippin giggled as Frodo scowled at them. “Listen, both of you, make your jokes if you like, but don’t joke about that around Sam. You’ll embarrass him and he won’t understand. He’ll think you’re being cruel to him.”</p><p>“Oh. We wouldn’t be cruel to him,” Pippin said.</p><p>“Good. You’ll have to deal with me if you hurt his feelings.” Frodo rose. “Now, I think I’ll go back in and finish Lady Goldberry’s lemon tart pie.” </p><p>“No! Frodo! She said that was for all of us!”</p><p>Merry smiled at the memory, though he didn’t open his eyes. Maybe it had been bad to tease Frodo like that, but so much of their talk back then had been teasing and laughing and talking for hours about nothing in particular. It’s just how things were between them.</p><p>Merry slipped off to sleep, full of warm memory, able at least for the moment to forget the dread that nightfall would bring.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Rider Comes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merry watched the flickering fire break off into sparks and sway as the night breeze picked up. He was perched up on the wall once more, sitting beside Pippin in silence. Listening and watching, though the night had been quiet so far. He blinked and turned his eyes away from the flame. Aragorn would have scolded him.</p><p>
  <em>“Gentlemen, if you do not want night blindness, then you should put your backs to the fire and face out.”</em>
</p><p>Merry smiled at the memory. Aragorn had always been so kind to them, even when they tested his patience. And he was so brave. It had given Merry courage at the hard times, like that night on Weathertop, when they’d all been clustered together, darkness all around, and they’d thought Frodo was dead.</p><p>Merry shivered, overcome with the memory of the despair he’d felt then. He blinked and drew a breath. The heavy chill would not leave him.</p><p>Merry sat up, alert suddenly. Pippin glanced at him, then rose. The night was silent, save for the sound of torches burning. A cold creeping sickness rose in the pit of his stomach. Around them, the Took archers shifted, glancing at one another, fear beginning to show in their eyes.</p><p>“Courage,” Pippin told them. Merry drew his sword.</p><p>“Here!” an archer cried from far down the wall. He stood on shaking legs and fired his arrows down below. Others moved to take aim, but in the next instance fell to their knees. Merry staggered, and blinked against a sudden wave of blinding blackness rolling over his vision.</p><p>“No,” he tried to cry, but it came as a whisper. Pippin alone moved down the wall, drawing his own blade. A dark shape was coming over the stone. Merry forced strength into his legs, suddenly terrified that Pippin would face this thing alone. Pippin staggered but drew the horn on his belt and sounded it. The note pierced the night, loud and ringing. The Tooks on the wall revived themselves and stood once more.</p><p>“To me!” Pippin ordered them. “Stand together and we will hold him!” Merry moved to the cluster, his courage kindled by Pippin’s words. The shape moved down the rampart, approaching. It let out a sound that might have been a laugh in it’s deadly voice.</p><p>“Merry,” Pippin said softly. He turned to meet his eyes. “Go to Frodo.”</p><p>Merry stared at him.</p><p>“No,” he began.</p><p>“I am not this thing’s prey,” Pippin said, “Go to Frodo. He must know that the Rider has come over the wall.”</p><p>Merry stared at him a moment longer. He should not have been shocked to see such iron in Pippin’s eyes, but he was. He turned and bolted away, running down the winding stair that would take him into the inner sanctum of the Tooks.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo stood, his heart pounding. That had been Pippin’s horn, the one he’d brought back from Gondor. He watched as the Took guards pushed the heavy doors shut and bolted them with thick iron. Frodo, Sam, Fatty and Pippin’s parents, along with the two guards were the only ones in the sanctum hall. It was a sturdy place, buried deep into the bank, meant for parties. The big heavy doors were mostly for show, yet they still did the job. The guards remained at the door, giving one another uneasy looks. Frodo stepped over to them, Sam hurrying up behind him.</p><p>“Go to your Master and Lady,” Frodo said quietly. “You must not stand in this door.” The Tooks stared at Frodo, then moved their gazes to Paladin and Eglantine, who were further in the hall, huddled together on the sofa near the fire.</p><p>“If Frodo says stand away from the door, then stand away from the door,” Eglantine said. The Tooks moved inside.</p><p>“Hey there!”</p><p>Frodo gasped and stepped close to the door. That had been Merry’s voice.</p><p>“Merry?”</p><p>“Frodo, the Rider has come over the wall. Pippin and his guards are fighting the thing.”</p><p>“Help me get these doors open,” Frodo demanded. The Took guards looked very alarmed and raced to stop him, but Sam had already moved to help Frodo lift the heavy iron bar. Merry slipped in and they bolted the doors once more.</p><p>“You’ve got your armor shirt on?” Merry asked. Frodo nodded.</p><p>“Come, let’s stand away from the door,” Sam said to them softly. They retreated to the center of the hall. It was dark and cheerless, apart from one fire burning in the hearth.</p><p>“Still just one?” Sam whispered. Merry nodded, fear in his face. Frodo watched them a moment, then drew out the phial. The soft clear light swelled in his hand, then sparked out. He heard the Tooks gasp.</p><p>The door shuddered against a heavy blow. There were several shouts of alarm around him, and then a chill surrounded them all, holding them mute by it’s sudden force and brutality.</p><p>Frodo lifted the light and Sam and Merry drew their swords.</p><p>The metal bolt broke apart and fell with a tremendous crash and the door swung open. Out of the darkness came a cloaked form. It came into the hall silently, like a deadly predator.</p><p>Frodo stared at the Rider. It was not the same tall black cloaked thing that had stalked the Shire years before. Now, it stood before him, wrapped in a ragged mudstained shroud like a corpse. He lifted a hand and his hood fell away, revealing no visible head, yet a cold metal circlet was set on his brow, burning in the darkness.</p><p>“You cannot enter here,” Frodo said in a soft voice, breaking through the silence it had inflicted on them, “Go back to your abyss.” A bitter cold touched him, and he quivered.</p><p>“There is no power in your words,” the Rider said. “<em>Nagri vadok skât, nardur bag</em>.” Frodo drew a breath and cold poisoned pain blossomed in his shoulder. He cried out in surprise and pain, but held the star glass before him still. Sam drew closer, raising his sword.</p><p>“<em>Gilthoniel, A Elbereth</em>,” Frodo cried.</p><p>“<em>Aiya elenion ancalima</em>!” Sam finished. The Rider rushed forward, letting loose a freezing cry of fury. He drew a short blade from under his robes and Sam stood to meet him. Frodo cried out, and the phial blazed in his hand, the light blotting out everything in his vision. There was a scream, and then Frodo was thrown to the floor, landing hard. The air left his lungs so that he could not cry out, but the phial did not falter. No pained poison blow fell this time.</p><p>Frodo blinked, and drew himself up, disoriented. Sam was beside him, blinking in the light and looking just as stunned and unhurt. The Rider was not before them along longer. Frodo jerked in panic and turned.</p><p>The Rider was there, standing over Merry, who lay under him, on the floor.</p><p>The wraith’s blade was buried in Merry’s side.</p><p>§</p><p>Pippin hurried into the hall and was met by a binding light, searing his eyes. He threw up a hand, but the light eased and he could see again. Sam and Frodo were charging together at the Rider, Sam’s sword dealing glancing blows against it’s unseen body. Pippin let out a cry of rage and bolted to their aid, his sword out.</p><p>The Rider staggered forward, grabbing Sam’s sword by the blade and threw him back. Sting fell with a clatter beside Sam. Frodo stood over him, raising the light. He spoke words that slipped past Pippin’s ears and for an instant Pippin saw Frodo with light inside him, burning as brightly as the phial.</p><p>The Rider loomed over him, and drew out a small dagger from his cloak. Pippin screamed and rushed forward, thrusting his sword into the Rider’s hip. Unlike Sam’s blows, Pippin’s sword made contact, sinking into the unseen thing. He cried in pain and staggered, moving to raise his dagger. Pippin gasped, but before he could move, the Rider was pressed back, falling to the floor. Sting was buried in his chest, and Sam stood over him.</p><p>The Rider’s body gave a shudder, and a deathly cry burned their ears. Then the rags fell to the floor, the wraith’s unseen body withering until it was no more and only a heap of rags lay before them. Pippin stared at the pile, his ears ringing and his body numb and cold. He looked at Sam and Sam blinked at him, looking just as dazed and numb.</p><p>A cry broke Pippin from his daze. It has come from Frodo and his voice was filled with fear and horror and pain. Pippin turned, panic seizing him at Frodo’s distress. Sam was crawling to him.</p><p>“Frodo?” Pippin gasped, “Are you hurt?”</p><p>He pulled himself across the floor, clumsy and sick. He tried to stand, but faltered and would have fallen, but his mother and father were suddenly at his side, holding him. He clasped them both, but pushed himself on.</p><p>Frodo was crouched in a far corner, Sam slumped against him, his arms around Frodo, and before them lay Merry. Pippin felt the breath leave his lungs. He fell down at Frodo’s side.</p><p>“Call for a doctor!” Paladin shouted.</p><p>“No hobbit can heal this,” Frodo said.</p><p>Pippin stared at the black hilted evil dagger protruding from Merry’s side. His chest was rising and falling and Merry was making a sickly wheeze.</p><p>“Get it out, Frodo,” Merry pleaded.</p><p>“You can’t just pull a blade out,” Paladin said, sinking down beside them.</p><p>“If it’s a cursed thing,” Sam said quietly to the Thain, “we can’t let it stay.”</p><p>Frodo held the phial tight and the light shifted so that the air around them felt somehow soft and warm. He lay a hand on Merry’s brow.</p><p>“I will do my best for you,” Frodo said, though his voice trembled. Merry looked up at him.</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>Pippin reached forward to hold Merry’s hand and Sam clasped his other. Frodo wrapped his hand in his cloak and reached down to grip the blade. He hissed, but drew it up and out in one steady motion, casting the thing on the floor.</p><p>“No one touch it!” Frodo ordered. The blade blackened and withered before dissolving away completely, leaving only the hilt.</p><p>“No,” Frodo said very quietly. He shared a fear filled look with Sam and Pippin.</p><p>Merry’s wound was from a Morgul blade.</p><p>§</p><p>Paladin and Esmeralda had gone to rally the Tooks and survey the damage. Fatty had been sent for doctors, but none of that mattered very much to the four hobbits left in the room.</p><p>Pippin and Sam sat together, their backs against the wall, watching as Frodo held the phial in one hand and lay his other hand on Merry’s head.</p><p>“<em>Naur an edraith ammen, ceven dhaer, anno vellas lín enin 'raw hen</em>,” Frodo murmured.</p><p>Pippin blinked against the stars floating in front of his vision, and tried to avoid looking at the phial, or at Merry, or at Frodo’s face. He felt sick and afraid and there was dark grief in his heart. He put a hand over his mouth, stifling a sob and lay his head on Sam’s shoulder. He didn’t want to distract Frodo.</p><p>“Come here, my lad,” Sam said quietly and turned to pull Pippin into his arms. Pippin returned his embrace. Sam needed this too- he was shaking and he curled down over Pippin, as if some great weight lay on his back. They clung together, and Pippin closed his eyes as a wave of dizzying sickness hit him. His arm ached and he rubbed at it, frightened. He couldn’t move it very well. Sam reached down and took his hand, drawing a breath in surprise.</p><p>“Hm?” Pippin murmured.</p><p>“Your hand is cold,” Sam whispered, “just like my arm.”</p><p>“You too?” Pippin said wearily. Sam’s hand moved up Pippin’s arm, feeling gently.</p><p>“Your… whole... arm.” Pippin didn’t answer, just pressed his cheek to Sam’s shoulder and shook. Sam made a soft groaning sound then slumped to the side, falling senseless to the floor. Pippin sat up, alarmed, but too dizzy and sick himself to do much more than stare in horror.</p><p>“Sam!” Frodo cried and stumbled over to them. “Pip!”</p><p>“What. What is. Why,” Pippin tried to speak.</p><p>“Easy,” Frodo told him as he lay a hand to Sam’s head and another to Pippin’s. Pippin blinked, unable to focus. He was drifting down into darkness and coldness- falling into deep water. The blurred vision of Frodo’s face faded and Pippin sank into a swoon.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Frodo's Art</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merry, Pippin and Sam had been placed upon soft low pallets, lined up in a row. Eglantine and Paladin were crouched together at Pippin’s side, touching his face and shoulder, rubbing his cold arm. Frodo stood beside them and for a moment he saw Merry, Pippin and Sam laid out and still, wrapped in white burial clothing as they had been in the barrow. A cold shiver went up him and Frodo banished the thought.</p><p>“What is wrong with them? They weren’t hurt- not like poor Meriadoc,” Paladin said.</p><p>“Those things can put out some strange effect,” Fatty said, “It’s a terror and sickness.”</p><p>“It’s more than that fear and sickness,” Frodo said, bending to lay a hand on Pippin’s chest.</p><p>“It’s what happened to me and to the Lady Éowyn, after we attacked the leader of the Nine,” Merry wheezed, “It’s the effect of daring to strike that wraith form.” He paused. “That was Pippin’s barrow blade. Must have been. No other blade would have touched that foul thing. Not even Sting could cleave him, until Pippin broke the spell.”</p><p>“Oh Pip, you clever hobbit,” Frodo said.</p><p>“And if Sam struck the killing blow,” Merry said slowly, “then, by what happened to Lady Éowyn and to me- Sam will have gotten the worst of it.”</p><p>Frodo rose and turned away, about to lose his composure. They all needed him and yet he didn’t know what to do. The healing he did for himself was such a small thing compared with what they needed. And he’d never tried to heal another hobbit. In fact, the only time he'd ever tried his power on another had been when he attempted to ease the panic of a deer who had been caught in the garden fence. It had seemed to work, for the animal calmed and let Frodo free it's legs, but he didn't know if that had been art or luck. </p><p><em>And here is the result of my fear,</em> Frodo thought bitterly. <em>I don't know what I'm doing. </em></p><p>“Get those rags out of here,” Paladin ordered one of the servants, pointing to the mass of cloth left from the wraith. Frodo raised a hand.</p><p>“Don’t touch them. Move them with something, but do not touch anything of that foul thing.”</p><p>He went on, pacing, looking down at the scattered debris of the battle. He saw Sting’s hilt, glinting in the firelight and drew near. But it wasn’t firelight, he realized. Sting was glowing red hot, the blade blackening as smoke curled up from it. A crack appeared, then another. As he watched, Sting shattered into pieces.</p><p>Frodo stared at it, heartsick.</p><p>“The Lady Éowyn had a hard time of it, from what Pippin said,” Fatty went on quietly, “But she lived, even so. And Sam is such a strong hobbit. If such a thing can be survived then I put my faith in Sam.”</p><p>“Aragorn called Éowyn back,” Merry said weakly, “He called me back too.”</p><p>“Called you back from where?” Eglantine asked. Merry frowned.</p><p>“I can’t say,” he paused. “<em>Athelas</em>! We need <em>athelas</em>.”</p><p>“Oh!” Frodo turned back. “I am such a fool. I’m supposed to keep <em>athelas </em>with me at all times, but I went off and left it!” He felt even more crushed and put a hand to his mouth.</p><p>“I’ll go and try to find some growing wild, if you’ll tell me what it looks like,” Fatty said, meeting his eyes.</p><p>“It doesn’t grow in the Shire,” Frodo said, softly, “except for two place. Bag End’s garden, and Sam’s window boxes in Michel Delving.”</p><p>“Then I’ll ride to Hobbiton.”</p><p>“I would wager,” Merry said slowly, “if you go look in Sam’s pack, he’s got some.”</p><p>Frodo stilled, wide eyed.</p><p>“I’ll go check!” Fatty said, rising.</p><p>“I’ll show you where the Deputy’s room is,” Paladin said, rising as well. Eglantine watched them leave, but remained at Pippin’s side, stroking his hair. They waited in silence a moment, Frodo watching the door where Fatty and Paladin had disappeared, lost in thought.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Frodo. I was such a silly thing,” Merry said softly.</p><p>“No you weren’t,” Frodo soothed as he turned back.</p><p>“Yes I was. If I had been a little smarter and taken more care to guard myself this might not have happened,” Merry said. Frodo frowned.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“The Rider came here to kill me.” Merry was silent for a moment. “If he had wanted you dead, then he would not have only knocked you down. You were a nuisance to him, that’s all.” Merry caught his breath. “I was his target from the start. He knew very well who was in Crickhollow that night.”</p><p>Frodo was silent for a long moment.</p><p>“Because of what happened on the Pelennor Fields?” Frodo said weakly, running a hand over Merry’s shoulder.</p><p>“Yes, must be. The leader of the Nine fell after I injured him and the Lady Éowyn destroyed him.” Merry blinked, a little more focus coming into his eyes. “Frodo! What if she has been targeted?”</p><p>“Sam sent riders to Rohan and Gondor, warning of the Rider. But I wonder if she would have been attacked before now.”</p><p>“She’s closer to Mordor - if that is where this Rider has come from.”</p><p>Frodo went very still and a hard grimness fell on him.</p><p>“We may be too late, but we must try and warn her. We’ll send another message.”</p><p>“And what of me?” Merry asked in a quiet voice. “Gandalf is coming. Do you think he can heal me?”</p><p>“He may be of great help, but he is not a healer- at least not for this type of thing. Aragorn said there were very few who could treat a wound like this. I don’t know that we can hope for help from anyone closer than Rivendell.”</p><p>“I don’t think I’ll survive a trip like that.”</p><p>“Don’t say that,” Frodo told him.</p><p>“Frodo,” Merry called and tugged at him, “come down here.” Frodo glanced over at Pippin’s mother, a little embarrassed, but she only gazed back and then turned her attention back to Pippin. Frodo climbed onto the pallet with Merry and lay down beside him. “I’m sorry for saying that,” Merry whispered to him, “It was fear talking. I’ll try and be brave like you were when you took one of their blades.”</p><p>“Oh Merry,” Frodo’s composure broke at last and he wept.</p><p>“It’s alright, Fro,” Merry whispered.</p><p>“No it’s not,” Frodo whispered back, “I can’t heal you and I can’t heal Pippin and Sam,” Frodo said through his tears. “I should be able to do something, but I was too much of a coward to attempt the magic given to me.”</p><p>“Frodo you silly thing!” Merry cut him off, “don’t you dare blame yourself or try to put this all on your own shoulders. I won’t forgive you that and neither will Pippin or Sam.”</p><p>“But I was given that magic for a reason,” Frodo murmured.</p><p>“Yes you were,” Merry said softly, “and you’ll use it too. Why don’t you try now? Even if you don’t know how. From what Sam has told me, magic seems to come when it’s needed and not before. At least, that’s the way it is for us hobbits.”</p><p>“I will try,” Frodo gulped.</p><p>“Good,” Merry said softly, “now, go to Sam and Pippin. They need you more right now than I do.”</p><p>Frodo wiped his cheeks and sat up, gazing down as Sam and Pippin. More tears came.</p><p>“Well,” Fatty said as he entered the room, “just as Merry said. Samwise had a packet of <em>athelas</em>!” Frodo took the packet from Fatty.</p><p>“Of course he did. I should have known,” he said and stroked Sam’s hair. “Thank you, Sam.”</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo sat facing Sam and Pippin, crouched between them. In front of him was a bowl of steaming water and Sam’s packet of <em>athelas</em>. He crushed and bruised the leaves and let them steep in the water. A fresh wholesome scent wafted up and Frodo felt his own heart strengthen. He dipped a cloth in the water and gently bathed Sam’s face and hands, then did the same for Pippin. Their breathing eased, but neither awoke. Frodo set aside the bowl and reached out and touched their hands.</p><p><em>Come back to me, both of you, </em>Frodo thought, and put force behind the thought. He bent first over Pippin, brushing back his long curls and kissed his forehead.</p><p>“Pippin, you are not lost. That dark maze cannot hold you and no shadow can blot out your spirit. Let me call you home.”</p><p>He waited a moment, gazing down at him, then he sat up and turned to Sam. He put both hands to Sam’s cheeks, and when he bent, he did not kiss him, but put his forehead to Sam’s, and touched his nose to Sam’s. He held there for a long moment.</p><p>“Come back, Sam. Don’t walk in that dark valley any longer. I am here. Your Frodo is calling for you. Walk out. I have not gone anywhere that you cannot follow.”</p><p>After a long moment he sat up and watched them for any sign. But neither Pippin nor Sam stirred. Frodo drew back and motioned Eglantine and Paladin close. They approached and laid hands on their son.</p><p>“Call to him,” Frodo told them.</p><p>“Pippin,” Paladin said softly, “you must wake, darling.”</p><p>“Come now, Pip,” Eglantine murmured.</p><p>A moment passed, then Pippin stirred and opened his eyes. He blinked up at his parents, then shifted a little to look to Frodo.</p><p>“Oh. Hello there.”</p><p>Paladin and Eglantine gasped in joy and clutched at Pippin. Frodo stroked his curls and smiled down at him. Pippin touched his hand and sent him a look. There was love in his eyes, though he was weary. He turned to his parents, and embraced them both.</p><p>Frodo turned away, moving to Sam. He paused a moment, then leaned down, taking his hand.</p><p>“Sam,” he called softly. “Sam, my dear, wake up.”</p><p>Sam’s eyes opened. Frodo gasped, and clutched his hand. Sam looked dazed, but he reached up with a trembling hand and stroked Frodo’s cheek.</p><p>“Frodo,” he whispered. Frodo held Sam’s hand to his cheek, even as he wept.</p><p>§</p><p>It was nearly dawn when Frodo loaded his and Sam’s packs into the carriage that the Tooks had prepared for them. They were riding to Rivendell as quickly as they could. Fatty would accompany him as far as Buckland and by then Frodo hoped that Pippin and perhaps Sam would be feeling stronger. Otherwise he was going into the Wild with three sick hobbits and no other help.</p><p>Fatty had offered to come, though Frodo could see he was frightened by the idea.</p><p>“If Sam and I are gone, you and Will Whitfoot are the only two left who have a claim to lead the Shire. And poor Will isn’t in fit shape to be doing anything.”</p><p>“You want me to be Mayor?” Fatty asked.</p><p>“I will appoint you interim Mayor. If you will accept it?”</p><p>“Yes. Of course, Frodo,” Fatty said, “I’ll do anything you ask of me, my friend.” He paused, “But what if Pippin and Sam cannot shake off this sickness? I cannot let you go alone. We could send one of the Messengers.” The Messengers were a new branch of the Shire Post, made up of adventurous hobbits who carried messages to the Outside- most often to Bree and Rohan, and occasionally Gondor.</p><p>“No,” Frodo said softly, “I cannot ask someone to come with us. Not when there could be more Riders.”</p><p>“Oh Frodo,” Fatty said, quivering.</p><p>“Don’t look so grim!” he said, “Gandalf is coming. He always comes quickly when I call for him, and he can always find me.”</p><p>“I can think of a time when he didn’t.”</p><p>“There were extenuating circumstances,” Frodo said, smiling a little.</p><p>“Well, maybe so,” Fatty conceded. “I hope there are not extenuating circumstances this time.”</p><p>“Always so cheerful, Fatty Bolger,” Frodo said dryly.</p><p>“Even if there are, I have faith in you,” Fatty said, “But I’m still going to worry terribly.” Frodo had pulled him into a firm hug.</p><p>After that, he had the documents drawn up to appoint Fatty Mayor, and they were signed and sealed while the cart was packed with supplies. As Frodo returned to the courtyard, he saw that the sturdy little cart was now well stocked with bags of food, cooking utensils, as well as clothing and bedding. Now all that was left was to move Merry and Sam to the wagon. Pippin was up on his feet, but Sam was still very weak and his right arm was very cold.</p><p>Merry was less weak, but if they had had any doubt that his wound was made by a Morgul blade, there was no doubt now; his entire side was cold and numb, and dark circles had appeared under his eyes. Frodo had sat beside into the small hours of the morning, bathing his face and side in the warm <em>athelas</em> water. It had eased him, but not much.</p><p>Now as Frodo stood beside the carriage he was joined by Fatty, Eglantine, and Paladin, all of them waiting for the pallets to be brought out.</p><p>“And there is no one closer than Rivendell?” Paladin pressed. Frodo shook his head.</p><p>“And that makes me very afraid.”</p><p>“But you survived a similar wound, did you not?” Paladin asked.</p><p>“When I was wounded, we were much closer to Rivendell. And the King was there. He tended to me until the Elf Lord could perform the surgery.”</p><p>“But you were in the wilderness for some time,” Eglantine said, “you may have been with a King, but you remained alive with only herbs and small comforts.”</p><p>“No,” Frodo said, “he had some art. Which I do have.” He fell silent.</p><p>“No art? After what I saw you do last night, I say that is a vast underestimation of yourself, Frodo Baggins,” Paladin said sternly. “Pippin’s skin was grey and there was barely breath in his body. I thought he was going to die, but you brought him out of it.”</p><p>“I only mimicked what the King did,” Frodo said. Paladin scoffed.</p><p>“You say you were closer to Rivendell,” Eglantine said, “that may be, but you were on foot the whole way and could not travel on the road. You have none of that trouble now. The road between Bree and Rivendell is safe now and well maintained. And our Tookish ponies are strong and fast.” Paladin set his hand to Frodo’s shoulder.</p><p>“Go with our blessing, Frodo. May the road carry you safely.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Frodo said, extremely touched by the support from the Tooks. “Thank you for everything.”</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. A Gamgee goodbye; A Brandybuck goodbye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They set out from Tookland, heading first north, the east. Fatty was driving for this first leg, while Frodo rested in the back with the others.</p><p>“We’ll pass through Buckland on our way east,” Frodo said softly to Merry. “Would you like me to send word to your parents? They could meet us on our way out.”</p><p>“Yes, I’d like that,” Merry said softly.</p><p>They came to Hobbiton around midmorning, and paused at the road leading to the New Row. Fatty jumped down.</p><p>“So, I’m getting Sam’s barrow blade,” Fatty said as Frodo came around to the driver’s seat.</p><p>“Second bedroom on the left,” Frodo nodded.</p><p>“And as much <em>athelas </em>as I can harvest,” Fatty finished. He winced and dropped his voice to a whisper. “Promise me Frodo, you’ll protect me from Sam if I damage his plants.”</p><p>“I promise,” Frodo laughed, “though, I think Sam wouldn’t care if you pulled them up by the roots, so long as we don’t run short.”</p><p>“Fine for you to say, but I’m not taking that chance.” He stepped away from the cart, heading for the road leading up the Hill. “Anything else?”</p><p>“No, the Tooks have us provided for otherwise. Thank you.”</p><p>Frodo took up the reins and guided the Tookish pony onto the New Row Road. He pulled up in front of the Gamgee residence, stopping the carriage in the middle of the lane and jumped down, racing to the door of New Number Three. It opened before he got there and Hamfast Gamgee peered out at him.</p><p>“Mr. Frodo, what’s wrong?” he asked, stepping out.</p><p>“Sam’s alright, but he’s been hurt,” Frodo said. Ham drew in a breath and hurried to Frodo’s side. Frodo took the old man by the shoulder, guiding him to the cart. “A creature from the Outside came and attacked us. It hurt Merry very badly. He’s in the cart as well. Pippin and Sam killed the thing but in doing so it hurt them in some way.”</p><p>“Oh, Mr. Frodo,” Hamfast gasped.</p><p>“It’s alright. Come, climb up in the back. He’s here. It’s alright,” Frodo said and he helped Hamfast up into the cart. Sam raised himself up on his elbows, clearly trying to look stronger than he was.</p><p>“Da,” Sam said. Hamfast knelt by his pallet and peered at Sam, touching his shoulder and looking him over.</p><p>“Samwise,” he said, “well now, what trouble have you made for Mr. Frodo this time?”</p><p>“No trouble,” Frodo said, taking a place at Hamfast’s side. “Sam was very brave. He saved my life. All of our lives. And now we must go to Rivendell where they can heal Merry.”</p><p>“Well, you just drop Sam off here with me, Mr. Frodo. I’ll get him on his feet again,” Hamfast said stoutly.</p><p>“No Da, I can’t stay. I must go with Mr. Frodo,” Sam said.</p><p>“Nonsense, you are in no condition for Going Off.”</p><p>“I won’t leave Sam,” Frodo said quietly.</p><p>“Eh?” Hamfast sat back and stared at them. “But, he can't be much help to you now. And, why, if the pair of you are set to go riding off again, then at least let Sam have a few days here to recover. Then he can ride after you and catch up on the road.”</p><p>“No,” Sam said softly, “I’m sorry Da.”</p><p>Hamfast turned, scowling at Frodo.</p><p>“Talk some sense into him, Mr. Frodo.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I can’t,” Frodo said. There was silence for a moment, broken by a snort from Pippin.</p><p>“Sorry,” he apologized, “Sorry! That was very rude.”</p><p>“Mr. Gamgee,” Frodo said, “I don’t know if rest is all that Sam needs or if he’s been hurt in a way that only the Elves can heal. At any rate, I want him to come with us to Rivendell so that the best healers can see to him. And also, I need him. I cannot make this journey without him.”</p><p>“Oh. Well,” Hamfast blinked in surprise.</p><p>“I promise you I will look after him and give him the best care that I can,” Frodo said. Hamfast swallowed, looking pained.</p><p>“Alright then,” he said, “the pair of you have always done as you pleased. Go on Sam, you silly hobbit. And try not to be a nuisance.” He paused, frowning, “and both of you, come back from this, you hear?”</p><p>“Yes, sir,” Frodo said.</p><p>“We will, Da.”</p><p>Frodo climbed down and met Fatty as he returned from Bag End. He had Sam’s sword, along with a few more short ceremonial daggers, a shield and a quiver of arrows and a bow.</p><p>“Oh. You found the armory,” Frodo said.</p><p>“It looks like you and Sam were preparing for a siege on Bag End! What is all this? Not that I’m complaining. It will be of use I imagine, in the Outside.”</p><p>“These were all gifts, and it would have been very rude to turn them down,” Frodo said. “So we brought them with us and I shoved them into that back room to frighten any hobbit doing unauthorized treasure hunting.”</p><p>“There’s that Baggins meanstreak.”</p><p>Frodo laughed and stepped back to the cart.</p><p>“Mr. Gamgee,” he called, “I’m sorry, but we have to be getting on the road.”</p><p>“Alright then,” Hamfast sighed. “Will you help me down, Mr. Frodo?”</p><p>“Yes, sir.”</p><p>Frodo took Hamfast’s hand, bracing him as he stepped down. He walked him back to his door in silence. As they reached the door, Ham turned.</p><p>“He’s a good boy. Take care of him, Mr. Frodo.”</p><p>“I will,” Frodo said.</p><p>“I know you will. It eases me, knowing how much you love him. I know you’ll keep him looked after, just like you did when the pair of you went off into the Wild for all that chasing and mountain climbing and such.”</p><p>“I hope this trip will be much shorter and much less dangerous, but yes,” Frodo smiled. “I love him so, and I’ll look after him.” Hamfast smiled and reached up to pat Frodo’s head.</p><p>“Look after yourself too. I hope you have safe travels.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Frodo said, touched, “Be well, Mr. Gamgee.”</p><p>“And you as well, lad.”</p><p>§</p><p>Before leaving Hobbiton, they made one more stop to hire a messenger to ride hard to Brandy Hall, so that Merry’s parents could be notified.</p><p>After that, Frodo slept as much of the day as he could while Fatty drove. Once they left Buckland, he would be the one driving and he wanted to be as well rested as he could, after the sleepless night at the Great Smials.</p><p>When Frodo woke in the evening, it was to the sound of several voices. He opened his eyes and found that the cart had stopped near the banks of the Brandywine. They had crossed the bridge and were sitting at the roadside near the river.</p><p>Nearby, there was a cluster of Brandybucks standing beyond the back of the cart, speaking in low voices to Fatty. It was Merry’s parents, along with two of Brandy Hall's guards. Frodo was relieved. He’d been very afraid the messenger wouldn’t make it in time. He jumped down from the cart, walking over to the group.</p><p>“Ah, there you are Frodo,” Saradoc said. Frodo stiffed at the older hobbit’s tone.</p><p>“Hello, sir,” he said.</p><p>“Fredregard told us about the attack,” Saradoc said as his wife Esmeralda stepped around and climbed up into the cart. “I see you’ve come out of it in one piece, as usual. Luck of the Bagginses.” Frodo swallowed down anything curt he might have said for Merry’s sake.</p><p>“I’m very sorry that this happened, sir.”</p><p>“What’s done is done. You don’t need to worry though. We’ll be taking Merry.”</p><p>Frodo went still.</p><p>“He needs the care of the Elves,” Frodo said slowly. “I’m sorry, uncle, but he must go to Rivendell.”</p><p>“Don’t tell me what’s to be done with my son, Frodo Baggins,” Saradoc said, frowning, “You may be Mayor and hobbits may worship you in the Shire, but you are on our side of the Brandywine, now. Go take young Pippin and Gamgee off into the Wild for Elf cures if you like, but you’ll leave my boy out of it, this time.”</p><p>“Dad,” Merry called weakly. “Don’t.”</p><p>“We have the best doctors on any side of the Brandywine.”</p><p>“No you don’t,” Frodo said.</p><p>“Alright Frodo, if you make me break politeness then so be it. Let me say it plainly, if you try and take him I’ll have you charged with kidnapping,” Saradoc growled.</p><p>“That’s enough,” Fatty said.</p><p>“You can’t charge him,” Merry wheezed as loudly as he could, “If I go willingly, Dad. And I am going with Frodo.”</p><p>Saradoc went very red. Frodo braced himself to answer, but Fatty stepped forward.</p><p>“I understand you are very worried,” Fatty said, “but this isn’t up to you, I’m afraid.”</p><p>“I’m not going to let him die, Uncle Saradoc,” Frodo said. “And he will die if he stays in Buckland.”</p><p>“Esmeralda, tell them they are being foolish,” Saradoc demanded. Esmeralda sat at Merry’s head, stroking his hair. She bent and kissed his head.</p><p>“Mama,” Merry said quietly, “I’m going with Frodo.” She was silent, then turned to stare at Frodo.</p><p>“I know you revear the Elves, Frodo, but can they really heal him? Can they do anything for him that a good Buckland doctor couldn’t? And what happens if the Elves won’t act? They are flighty cruel creatures, for all the stock you put in them.”</p><p>“They will not refuse me,” Frodo said quietly. “Nor refuse Merry. His name is honored among Elves and Men and Dwarves.” He paused, “besides, it is not safe for him to stay. There could be more of those Riders.”</p><p>“Oh, so you’ll drag our son out into the Wild where these things may attack you,” Esmeralda said tightly. “Don’t you think Brandy Hall might be safer?”</p><p>“The Great Smials walls were not enough to keep the Rider out. No walls can stop them. Nothing can except for the Elves and the power of the Wise.”</p><p>“I’ve heard enough. You will not take him, Frodo,” Saradoc said quietly. Frodo held very still. There were sounds of blades being drawn. He glanced back and saw Pippin and Fatty had their swords out. The Buckland guards behind Saradoc drew their own weapons.</p><p>“No!” Frodo said. “Put those away.” Pippin and Fatty did as Frodo said. Saradoc was furious though he did not make a sound. He fixed Frodo in his gaze.</p><p>“None of you are ever welcome in Buckland again.” He turned to his guard, adding, “Go and get my son.”</p><p>“If you take him,” Frodo said, looking at the two hobbits, “you are killing him.” The guards hesitated and glanced at Saradoc. Saradoc did not speak or even look at his guards; he only stared at Frodo in contempt.</p><p>Frodo took a breath as the guards stepped up to the cart. He drew out the phial and the light inside exploded. There were cries around him but Frodo resolutely held his eyes shut.</p><p>“I am sorry!” He cried and moved to push the guards back. They fell in a heap, blinded, while Saradoc was stumbling and swinging at the air in vain. “This is temporary, I promise.” Pippin and Fatty were crouched together, blinking in pain.</p><p>“Frodo, a little warning next time!” Pippin cried.</p><p>“Sorry. Come this way, up you go,” Frodo said helping them climb up. “Aunty, I’m very sorry,” he said as he climbed in, “you must get out of the cart.”</p><p>“What if I refuse you, Frodo dear?” She asked, holding a hand to her eyes.</p><p>“Then you’re coming with us, at least for a little while.”</p><p>“Then let me come with you for a while,” she said.</p><p>“You’ll have to walk back to the Hall,” Frodo cautioned.</p><p>“I’ll walk a thousand miles if only I can stay with Merry for a little while longer.”</p><p>Frodo paused.</p><p>“As you like, Aunty.”</p><p>He jumped down and climbed up into the driver's seat, taking the reins. The cart pulled away.</p><p>“I’m sorry for this!” Frodo shouted. “Some day I’ll come back and fix this.”</p><p>“If you ever show your face here Frodo Baggins, you’ll be shot!” Saradoc shouted back. Frodo didn’t answer, just drove on.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Safe in Dangerous Places</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo paused at the cart, watching Fatty and his Aunt Esmeralda walk away down the road back into Buckland. He hadn’t lingered over goodbyes to either of them- Fatty because he didn’t want to make out like he’d never see him again, and Aunt Esmeralda because she did not want to talk to him. He sighed and climbed back up into the driver’s seat. A mile or so more and he would reach the gate and leave Buckland behind. He wanted to drive on as long as he could even though darkness was falling. The pony had been walking all day with only short rests and would need to stop at some point soon, but Frodo intended to get out of Buckland before they stopped. Saradoc’s threat to shoot him was more unnerving the more he thought on it.</p><p>§</p><p>They halted at last a few miles past the Buckland gate and Frodo pulled the cart off the road and into a field, continuing on until he found a sheltered place where they would not be seen from the Road. He got down and unhooked the pony from the cart, rubbing her sides and speaking gently to her.</p><p>“I can do that,” Pippin said, walking from behind the cart. “Go take a rest.”</p><p>“I’m rested enough,” Frodo said, “I intend to stand guard.”</p><p>“Fine if you like. But I’ll help. And go see Merry, he’s in need of a little talking down.”</p><p>“Oh?” Frodo asked, pausing. Pippin sighed.</p><p>“Sam and I couldn’t manage it.”</p><p>Frodo nodded and left the pony to Pippin, going around and climbing up into the back of the cart. There was some light, someone had lit a lantern hanging from a hook on the cart wall and turned it to burn low. Frodo wondered if perhaps they should shut up the back doors of the cart, lest that light attract anything.</p><p>“Hey there,” Sam said softly, blinking in the dim light. Frodo sank down at his pallet.</p><p>“Hello, Sam. How are you?” he asked. Every time he’d come back to check on them, Sam had been deeply asleep.</p><p>“Better. I hear we’ve left Buckland?”</p><p>“Yes. We’re just outside.”</p><p>“I think I want to try and walk a bit,” Sam said, and glanced over at Merry who was curled on his good side, watching them.</p><p>“You feel up for it?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“I feel up for trying,” Sam laughed a little. “Just help me down. I want to go pet the pony too. What’s her name?”</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo winced, feeling guilty, “I’m not sure. I’ll bet Pippin knows.” He crawled back to the edge of the cart, waiting as Sam moved gingerly to join him. He still seemed weak and his right arm hung limp at his side, but he stood and crouched as Frodo took his left hand and helped him down. Sam thanked him and moved off, keeping a hand on the cart side as he walked. Frodo watched a moment more, then turned back and moved into the cart to Merry’s side.</p><p>“And how are you?” he asked.</p><p>“Alright,” Merry said quietly. Frodo ruffled his curls and lay down beside him.</p><p>“I’ll make you an <em>athelas </em>tea and wash your wound in a bit,” Frodo murmured.</p><p>“Sam made <em>athelas </em>tea earlier and bullied me into drinking it,” Merry said, smiling faintly.</p><p>“Ah. He can be a little pushy sometimes. Especially when he knows he’s right. Don’t hold too much of a grudge against him.”</p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p>Frodo lay in silence, allowing his eyes to rest.</p><p>“I’m sorry about my father,” Merry sighed.</p><p>“Oh. I should have known better than to get into a shouting match with Uncle Saradoc.”</p><p>“He should have never said those things to you,” Merry said fiercely. “If I ever get back home I’m going to give him a piece of mind once and for all. I am so angry at him.”</p><p>“He’s worried about you. He’s just wrong about what needs to be done.”</p><p>“He wasn’t worried enough to come over and see me!” Merry cried. “I’m dying, and he couldn’t even-”</p><p>“We’re going to get you to Rivendell,” Frodo said softly, “we’ll get you the help you need.”</p><p>“Oh. Alright, but still-”</p><p>“I know, he should have come to see you. It’s just his way to shout at people when he doesn’t like something.”</p><p>“He’s such an ass,” Merry growled.</p><p>“Yes, he is,” Frodo murmured.</p><p>“Mama wanted to come into the Wild with us,” Merry said softly, “but I told her she couldn’t come. I think I broke her heart.”</p><p>“Your mother is very fierce. But,” Frodo said, “there is the matter for how bad it would look if I am not only kidnapping the heir to Buckland, but also the Lady of the Hall.”</p><p>“I think that’s what finally decided it for her. She knew there would be so much trouble if she didn’t turn up.”</p><p>“It’s for the best, I think.”</p><p>“Mm.”</p><p>Frodo put his hand over Merry’s and blinked.</p><p>“Your hand is cold,” he said.</p><p>“My whole left side is,” Merry murmured.</p><p>“Here, let me warm you,” Frodo said, and shifted closer, carefully putting his arm around Merry’s shoulder. They settled in together, silent and thoughtful.</p><p>§</p><p>When Pippin returned to the cart Frodo gingerly sat up and excused himself. Despite Pippin’s protests he was clearly worn out.</p><p>“Rest tonight,” Frodo assured him. “You can take tomorrow's watch if you like. But I’m rested and good to stay up. Go on, I know your strength isn’t back.”</p><p>“Oh fine then,” Pippin said, looking relieved and he lay down at Merry’s side. “I’ll see to Merry’s wound but then I’ll do as you say and take a rest. But just so you know, Sam’s not going to be so easy to convince.”</p><p>Frodo laughed and left the cart, closing up the back doors. He found Sam sitting on the step up to the driver’s seat.</p><p>“I think I’ll stay out here with you,” he said.</p><p>“It’s not very comfortable. And you need more rest,” Frodo said as he climbed up, stepping over Sam.</p><p>“I’m not going to let you sit out here standing guard by yourself without some help.” Sam said and climbed up as well. He lifted his shirt, showing that he had one of the small daggers strapped at his belt. “There’s all manner of creatures and robbers out, never mind the Riders.”</p><p>“Oh, and you’re up to fighting off robbers?” Frodo asked. Sam gave him a rare scowl as he settled in next to Frodo.</p><p>“I may be a little shaky, Mr. Frodo,” Sam said, “but I can do some damage.”</p><p>“I’m teasing. And no doubt you can. Alright! I know it’s pointless to argue with you. Stay out here if you like,” he said. Sam looked immediately pleased and moved close, cuddling into Frodo’s side. Frodo chuckled and hugged him. “My stubborn Sam,” Frodo murmured fondly and stroked his hair. Sam melted and tucked his nose into the nape of Frodo’s neck.</p><p>Frodo gazed out across the field, watching the grasses wave slightly in the night breeze. The stars were bright above them and the night was not as cold as it might have been for early fall.</p><p>“How are you, my dear?” Sam asked quietly.</p><p>“I’m alright,” Frodo whispered back. Sam found his hand and clasped it with both of his own, stroking the back of Frodo’s wrist.</p><p>“I might fall asleep,” Sam admitted.</p><p>“Then sleep,” Frodo smiled, “I’ll wake you if there’s trouble.”</p><p>“Mmph,” Sam hummed agreeably and closed his eyes, leaning heavily against Frodo.</p><p>“Is that comfortable?” Frodo asked softly, “you can lie down.” Sam opened his eyes. “Here,” Frodo said softly and guided Sam down. Sam lay is head in Frodo’s lap and gazed up at him sleepily and smiled. Frodo smiled back and put his arm over Sam’s chest, holding him secure. “That’s better isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yes. Thank you,” Sam said. He paused and added in a slow sleepy voice, “Here we are in the Wild, and even so I feel safe.” Frodo felt strong emotion bubbling around the edges of his heart. He pushed it aside and focused on Sam.</p><p>“Then, maybe you can get some rest,” he said gently. Sam closed his eyes and they sat together in silence.</p><p>§</p><p>Sam lay, deeply comforted by Frodo’s warmth, eyes closed and content apart from one slight worry.</p><p>He’d said more than he meant to, though he hasn't said much. Not really.</p><p><em>You make me feel safe. Even in the most dangerous places</em>.</p><p>What could be taken from that? Anyway, Frodo knew he was a great comfort to Sam. Maybe it was alright to say it aloud. Sam almost smiled to himself.</p><p>
  <em>I’ve said more to him of my heart than that. What am I worrying for?</em>
</p><p>He’d thought he was over worrying about each and every word like this. He’d mostly made peace with the fear that he would say something too loving, too revealing of his heart. Frodo wasn’t out to catch him and drag the secret of his heart out. He took Sam’s words for what they were.</p><p>But the worry still came back sometimes.</p><p>That worry was what had kept him from instantly accepting Frodo’s offer to move in with him. He’d been afraid that if he moved in with Frodo that somehow he would discover that Sam loved him the way he did. He’d been so afraid of letting something slip. But the winter he’d stayed up at Bag End had shown him that he was worrying for nothing. It was easy enough to be in close contact with Frodo, love him and even show him love, and still keep those feelings close to his heart. He had so much practice, after all.</p><p>Early in the Spring he’d sat down with Frodo for tea one afternoon in the parlor. When there has been a lull in conversation Sam had made his announcement.</p><p>“Mr. Frodo, I want to live with you,” he said softly, “That is, if you still want.”</p><p>“Oh, yes I do,” Frodo said. His eyes were gentle and he looked delighted. Sam nodded.</p><p>“I’m sorry it took me so long to make up my mind. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”</p><p>“It’s up to you, dear hobbit. I just wanted you to feel welcome.” He added, “I did wonder though, after you spent nearly every day up here last winter, and most of the nights too.” He smiled. “Were you trying it out?”</p><p>“Something like that,” Sam said shyly. Frodo grinned at him.</p><p>“And I’ve passed, have I?” he asked, teasing. Sam didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.</p><p>“Um.”</p><p>“I’m glad, Sam,” Frodo said softly. Sam was momentarily stunned by the tenderness in Frodo’s voice.</p><p>“I’m glad, too,” he said.</p><p>Sam sank into the warm silence that followed. He’d told Frodo the truth, but there was more to it and Frodo must have wondered why he had been reluctant in the first place. Sam was relieved Frodo hadn’t questioned him about that.</p><p>He never had questioned him, in all the time since, never had tried to press in or disrespected Sam’s privacy. Frodo had treated him so well in the time that they had lived together.</p><p><em>Oh, I’m worried cause we’re out in the World again,</em> Sam realized, <em>and that’s where I fell in love with him in the first place.</em></p><p>He mulled this over. They had so much more to worry over. If their love was tested as well, then, Sam decided he would take Gandalf’s advice and trust in Frodo and trust in the love between them. It had withstood everything else.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Paying the Toll</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo sat still, propped against the cushioned back of the driver’s seat, as Sam lay sleep heavy in his lap. He let his eyes drift down to his arm which still lay on Sam’s chest. It rose and fell as Sam breathed.</p><p>This was the first time since the attack that he could just sit and think, and he was overwhelmed with feelings. Fear, sorrow, guilt, and love boiled at the surface, but there was something more moving down in the depths of his heart. He’d felt the shape of it before, sliding across his thoughts, but it was too vague and when he tried to latch on to it, it slipped away, like a half forgotten dream.</p><p>But now it rose within him, burning and solid. It was some strong feeling, but it wasn’t just a feeling. It was too strong and fierce, and it felt like it had been fired in the heat of hardship. Ever since the Ring was destroyed he’d felt these stirrings. Like something waking up.</p><p>“It’s like there’s something very powerful hiding in that feeling,” Frodo had said to Gandalf one afternoon during his stay in Rivendell. “Like it’s the Ring trying to trick me, overwhelming me with something too big for me. This thing, it’s too big for a hobbit’s heart.”</p><p>“Frodo Baggins, you have one of the strongest hearts I have ever known,” Gandalf said, “whatever this is, it comes from you.” He peered at him. “Can you tell what kind of feeling?”</p><p>Frodo shook his head, frustrated.</p><p>“I don’t know. It’s like I can almost grasp it, but not quite,” he paused, meeting Gandalf’s eyes, adding quietly, “All I know, is that it feels like home.”</p><p>“Ah,” Gandalf said gently.</p><p>“It’s not the Ring’s poison, is it?” Frodo asked, afraid.</p><p>“I don’t think so,” Gandalf said, “did anything about the ring ever make you feel like home?”</p><p>“No. It took feelings and memories of home away from me. Those were things that I could use to resist It.”</p><p>“Then, I wonder,” Gandalf said slowly, “if this isn’t something that it tried to grind out of your heart. Something that threatened it. Perhaps in the end, it could not destroy this thing inside you. And now, it is returning.”</p><p>“But the memories it hid from me with that wheel of fire- those <em>have </em>returned to me,” Frodo said, “I can picture the Brandywine River, the smell of fresh grass, the taste of the Dragon’s brown beer. The fire is gone.” Gandalf looked suddenly very sad.</p><p>“It’s not all gone, though, is it, dear Frodo?” he asked. Frodo paused for a long moment, until he felt tears slide down his cheeks. Gandalf rose and sat beside him, enfolding him in an embrace. Frodo closed his eyes and felt his heart ease a little. “I think that you should try and learn what you can about this,” Gandalf said after a moment, and drew back. “Pay attention to the times and places that you feel the hint of it. And don’t fear it. Let yourself feel it.”</p><p>“You’re sure it’s not bad?” Frodo asked, wiping his cheeks.</p><p>“It’s not bad,” Gandalf said gently. “It’s part of you.”</p><p>Frodo had tried to follow Gandalf’s advice in the months since. He’d felt the feeling stir a few times, but it came at all hours and in all manner of places, and in the company of many hobbits, or with only his friends, and sometimes when he was alone.</p><p>He felt it now. Looking down as Sam, made it burn and rise within him so that he could almost feel- but feel what?</p><p><em>Sam is home. Is that why?</em> He wondered. But that didn’t seem to be the whole picture. Frodo sighed and let the mystery drift away once more, even as he felt the soft warmth of that feeling kindling somewhere deep inside him.</p><p>§</p><p>As the dawn light rose over the rolling hills, Frodo felt his spirits lift. He’d been driving for a few hours by this time and the Old Forest to the south was thinning into dense yellow and green woodlands. He was glad to be driving in sunlight on a well traveled road, rather than sneaking through the forest and then stumbling across the barrow downs at night.</p><p>They paused in mid morning, and Pippin took over driving. Frodo retreated back into the cart and made sure Sam and Merry ate a good solid second breakfast. Sam fell asleep again afterwards and Frodo took a seat beside Merry.</p><p>“I wonder, would you mind if I tried to heal you?” Frodo asked. Merry gazed up and smiled.</p><p>“Please, whatever you think might help,” he said. Frodo took out the phial and held it.</p><p>“I’m not sure how much good it does. All I know to do is try the same verses that Gandalf taught me to speak when my shoulder hurts me. I don’t know if it will help much with a fresh wound, but I want to try. I want to do something.”</p><p>“Frodo, dear hobbit,” Merry laughed softly, “you set out on a dangerous journey all for my sake. You and Sam and Pippin fought off a Ringwraith sent to kill me!” he smiled, “you’ve dropped everything to try and save my life.”</p><p>“Oh well,” Frodo smiled back, “anytime.” He paused, then the light in the phial swelled and he put his hand on Merry’s side.</p><p>“Thank you,” Merry said.</p><p>“You are very welcome,” Frodo said, and began the healing verse.</p><p>§</p><p>Sam opened his eyes, groggy. His body only wanted to go back to sleep, but he made himself sit up. He didn’t like sleeping so much, but Frodo had told him that his body needed to sleep in order to regain his strength. Sam supposed that made some sense.</p><p>He frowned and ruffled his hair, glancing around. The cart was still and Frodo and Merry were curled up together under thick blankets to help keep Merry warm. Sam moved as silently as he could down to the door, not wanting to wake them. He eased out and closed up the door behind him, before walking unsteadily around to the front to see what Pippin was up to. To his surprise he heard Pippin speaking to someone.</p><p>“I don’t care,” Pippin said, “this is a Free Road, under the authority of the King.”</p><p>“I don’t know about a King, but the Boss holds the rights to this road and he charges for use.”</p><p>Sam rounded the corner, scowling. Pippin was standing at the cart side, talking to a young hobbit dressed all in yellow. The hobbit glanced at Sam, looking him up and down.</p><p>“What’s this?” Sam asked Pippin.</p><p>“Some nuscience,” Pippin growled, “I can’t talk any sense into him.”</p><p>“Let me try,” Sam said.</p><p>“I don’t negotiate with servants,” the hobbit said. Pippin and Sam shared a glance.</p><p>“Oh you don’t do you?” Sam asked him. The hobbit blinked, a little startled that Sam was still speaking to him. He looked to Pippin.</p><p>“Tell him this isn’t his concern,” the hobbit hissed to Pippin. Pippin leaned back against the cart.</p><p>“This is between you and Sam, now.”</p><p>“Oh very well then!” the hobbit huffed and turned back, “Sam, is it? Well, Sam-”</p><p>“It’s my friends call me Sam,” Sam said, “what’s your name, lad?”</p><p>“I beg your pardon!”</p><p>“Your name.”</p><p>“Parioc Brandybuck,” he said.</p><p>“Oh. A Brandybuck,” Sam nodded. “Well, Master Brandybuck, my name is Samwise Gamgee.”</p><p>The hobbit went still.</p><p>“You’ve heard of me, I take it,” Sam said, “good. That makes things easier. Now, I heard some foolishness about paying to use this road. That troubles me mightily and had I the time, I’d deal with you and your Boss. But I don’t have the time, lucky for you. If you know what’s best for you, you and your fellow rascals will be cleared out of here when I get back. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, bothering honest folk traveling. You’re a hurting Buckland is what you're doing and in more than reputation.”</p><p>“You may be a famous one, but no one gets out of paying the toll,” Parioc said.</p><p>“Oh,” Sam said, “and what will you do about it?”</p><p>“It’s a nasty business if you refuse me,” Parioc said, “my colleagues will come and break the wheels on your cart and take a look inside. See if there’s something of value we might take as payment of the toll. It’s best avoided. And if you're in a hurry, I really would just go ahead and pay it.”</p><p>Sam was quite a long moment.</p><p>“We don’t have money with us,” he said. “Nor valuables.”</p><p>“Famous hobbits, traveling in a very fine Tookish carriage, have nothing valuable?” Parioc shook his head, then peered down at Sam’s belt. “Now that looks very interesting.” Sam glanced down. He was still wearing the ceremonial dagger he’d strapped to his belt the previous night.</p><p>“This is a means of protection,” Sam said flatly, “I can’t go giving it up.”</p><p>“The hilt is silver, isn’t it?” Parioc asked. Sam stood still, glaring at the hobbit for a long moment. He reached down and unstrapped it, holding the sheathed short sword.</p><p>“It's from Gondor.”</p><p>“There are jewels,” the other hobbit said, taking a step closer, but halted at the malice in Sam’s face. “Aren’t there?”</p><p>“A few small pretty stones. Nothing special,” Sam said.</p><p>“Oh I'm not so sure of that,” Parioc said slowly. “At any rate, a silver hilt and sword would pay the toll.”</p><p>Sam made a show of hesitating, then glowering he stepped closer.</p><p>“If I give you this, you and your lads will not bother us? Nor hinder us anymore?”</p><p>“That sword will buy a one way passage free from trouble,” Parioc nodded. Sam grumbled wordlessly.</p><p>“I’ll pay your toll,” he said and presented the sword to the other hobbit. Parioc smiled and took it.</p><p>“Very nice to do business with you,” he said and drew the sword. “But now, I think that I’ll be taking your cart and pony as well,” he said and held the sword blade up to Sam’s chest. Sam only snorted at him.</p><p>In a flash Pippin was between them, knocking Parioc to the ground and disarming him. Sam stepped back, scowling down at the young hobbit.</p><p>“A greedy ass!” he said, “not only a extorter, but a robber as well!” He climbed up into the driver’s seat, “Come Mr. Pippin,” he called. Pippin jumped up and lept onto the cart as it began to roll. Parioc got to his feet.</p><p>“Oh, <em>I’m </em>the thief!” he shouted, jogging after them. Pippin made a face at him and tossed the sword out. It landed with a thunk in the mud. Sam urged the pony on and they picked up considerable speed.</p><p>“At least we keep our end of the bargain,” Pippin called, “there’s your toll, but I really would take Sam’s advice and make yourself scarce after this! You won’t have heard the last of us!”</p><p>Pippin laughed and sank down onto the driver’s bench beside Sam. The pony was running now. Pippin grinned at the speed.</p><p>“Well that was exciting!” he shouted over the sound of the wheels, “but really Sam! I’m a little disappointed. You paid that rascal off and gave up a perfectly good sword!”</p><p>“Better to pay it than risk something happening to the cart or to one of us. We can’t afford that.”</p><p>“Still. I’ll wager we could have dealt with his gang. If it even exists.”</p><p>“Oh it exists,” Sam sighed. Pippin turned and blinked at him.</p><p>“You’ve heard of him before?”</p><p>“No. But there was about twenty hobbits and men in the woods back there, surrounding the cart,” Sam said. Pippin’s eyes went wide.</p><p>“There were?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Sam! You handed him a sword when he had his gang all around!”</p><p>“I didn’t really see much choice,” Sam said, “but I thought it likely he didn’t know what he was doing with a sword. He’s a front man. Good at scaring poor travelers.” Sam sighed. “What I really didn’t want to happen was for him to find our other swords and armaments. We must protect my barrow blade. It’s the only thing we know does any good against a Rider. That, and I couldn’t bear them going back there where Mr. Merry and Mr. Frodo are.”</p><p>“You did well, Sam,” Pippin said, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“I didn’t. I think giving them such a fine thing will only have them coming after us all the harder. I shouldn’t have had the thing on my hip!” He shook his head. “You did very well though,” Sam said, sending him a look. “Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re quite welcome.” He paused adding, “I suppose we must ride on for as long as we can. I don’t think we can make Bree before nightfall though.”</p><p>“No. I don’t think so,” Sam said. “We’ll just have to be sharp.”</p><p>§</p><p>They stopped again in the afternoon. The pony needed feeding and watering and Sam went to her and held her head, gazing into her big eyes as he praised her.</p><p>“Such a strong girl, Sweet Pea!” He cooed and kissed her nose, “Yes! You are! Just the strongest prettiest girl in the world!”</p><p>“She is strong.”</p><p>Sam blinked and turned to see Frodo walking up to them.</p><p>“She ran quite a ways. What was that about? Merry and I were sure you and Pippin must have challenged someone to a race.”</p><p>“Eh. Well, not quite,” Sam said. Frodo reached up to pet Sweet Pea.</p><p>“We had some troubles,” Pippin said as he brought the feedbag and fastened it to the pony’s head. He told Frodo briefly of their encounter. Frodo listened, clearly unhappy.</p><p>“It’s such a shame,” he said. “To think that hobbits have begun to do such things. And I hate that he held a sword to you,” Frodo said, glancing at Sam. “I wish I had been awake. I’m very sorry it happened.”</p><p>“No harm came by it,” Sam said. “But we are worried they’ll follow after.”</p><p>“Yes they’ll think we have more fancy things, I suppose. I wish I had never brought those swords Fatty found. I wasn’t thinking,” Frodo sighed.</p><p>“I’m glad you did,” Sam said, “it bought us a chance to get away.” Frodo nodded but he still looked glum.</p><p>“I think from now on we should have two up front and keep the little window behind the driver's seat open so that those in the cart can listen out for trouble,” Pippin said, “I was in a worse spot than I knew. I’m very glad you came out, Sam.”</p><p>“I’m rested now,” Frodo said, “I can take a turn driving, if you can stay with me, Pip?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m being told to go rest,” Sam said in a low voice to Pippin. Pippin giggled.</p><p>“I promised your father I’d look after you,” Frodo said. “And I mean to, Sam Gamgee.”</p><p>“Ah. As you like, Frodo Baggins,” Sam teased.</p><p>§</p><p>When the pony was rested enough, they continued on. Frodo took the driver’s seat and Pippin climbed up beside him. They had not been riding long when movement at the roadside caught Frodo’s eye. The embankments on either side had climbed up high and there were thick tangles of vegetation dangling down over the red clay bank. Frodo peered up into the bracken, wanting to believe that the movement that had drawn his eyes was from an animal. But the hair on the back of his neck rose. Pippin set his hand over the hilt of his sword, also peering upwards.</p><p>The movement came again, and Frodo caught the barest glimpse of a figure this time. It was tall and Man shaped. Frodo slowed the pony.</p><p>“Shouldn’t we run?” Pippin whispered.</p><p>“No. Not if they’ve laid a trap,” Frodo whispered back. “They could have dug a pit to trap us and hurt the pony. Or it could be an ambush. Let’s meet it on our terms.”</p><p>“Good thinking,” Pippin said and stood, drawing his sword. There was a soft sound of a voice. Frodo frowned and stood as well.</p><p>“Come no closer!” he ordered in a loud voice. Pippin raised his sword.</p><p>“Get out from that bracken! Let’s see your faces, scoundrels,” Pippin growled.</p><p>“Which shall it be, Master Peregrine?”</p><p>Pippin blinked and sent Frodo a swift amazed look.</p><p>“Yes, which would you hobbits like? Shall we come no closer or shall we get out from the bracken? You’re the ones with a sword drawn. We’ll let you make the decisions.”</p><p>Pippin holstered his sword and leapt down from the cart.</p><p>“Pip!” Frodo cried, but he was relaxed now.</p><p>Pippin bolted across the road and up onto the embankment, just as the pair raised themselves up to peer down at him. It was Éowyn and Faramir.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Word from Ithilien</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Prince! Princess!” Frodo cried, “well met! I beg that you may forgive our crudeness.”</p><p>“You are forgiven, Frodo Baggins,” Faramir said then he gasped as Pippin leapt up into his arms. Faramir caught him with difficulty and staggered.</p><p>“Pippin no!” Frodo cried. Faramir only laughed and hefted Pippin up onto his hip. “Pippin Took! You are the future Thain of your people!” Frodo shouted, “Don’t go jumping on Men so that you can be carried around like a babe!”</p><p>“But it’s fun.”</p><p>Éowyn laughed and fell against Faramir’s shoulder, snorting at Pippin’s cheekiness. Faramir carried Pippin down the bank and stood before the cart.</p><p>“If I had tried to pick you up like this, Frodo,” Faramir said, “I think I would have received a good kick from you, and worse from Mr. Gamgee.” He blinked. “Where is Sam?”</p><p>“He is in the cart, as is Merry,” Frodo said, “which brings us to our business, and I suppose the reason that you are here, unless I guess wrong.” Faramir and Éowyn’s easy manner vanished.</p><p>“We heard you were attacked but the hobbits we spoke to couldn’t provide much more information. Are you all alright?” she asked.</p><p>“Merry was hurt,” Frodo said. “The Rider struck him with a blade.” Éowyn gasped and rushed around to the back of the cart. Faramir set Pippin into the driver’s bench and stared at Frodo.</p><p>“And Samwise?”</p><p>“He was hurt as well though not as badly.”</p><p>Faramir gazed up at Frodo.</p><p>“I am so sorry, my friend. May I go and pay my respects?” he asked. Frodo nodded and Faramir touched his chest in a show of respect and turned, going to the back of the cart. Pippin watched him, then made to jump down and follow.</p><p>“Give them a minute,” Frodo said softly. Pippin halted, then took a seat beside Frodo. They could hear Éowyn and Faramir greeting Sam and Merry. Frodo turned to look at Pippin. He was somber, staring out at the road ahead.</p><p>“I’m surprised at you, Pippin, jumping on Prince Faramir like that,” Frodo said, trying to tease him into a smile, “You did as much as any of the rest of us to show the Big People that we are not to be treated like children. Didn’t you almost fight a tweener Man over that?” Pippin snorted.</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>“Isn’t the Prince your commander or something, since you’re Guard of the Citadel?” Frodo asked. Pippin shrugged.</p><p>“I wouldn’t do it in Gondor, and he may be Prince of Ithilien, but he’s also Boromir’s brother and my friend.”</p><p>“Ah well,” Frodo smiled.</p><p>“Anyway, I knew you would scold me, so that made it even more fun,” Pippin snorted.</p><p>“Oh! Come here, you ass,” Frodo laughed and tackled Pippin.</p><p>“Frodo, Pip!” Merry called from inside the cart, “are you two having fun without me?”</p><p>“Sorry Merry, you can help me rough up Pippin like this when you’re feeling better,” Frodo promised.</p><p>“Mr. Pippin!” came Sam’s voice, “don’t you go being rough with Mr. Frodo, or you’ll catch it from me!”</p><p>“He’s the one being rough with me!”</p><p>“That’s alright then.”</p><p>“Ah!” Pippin wailed, “Everyone is against me!” Frodo laughed and hugged him.</p><p>§</p><p>They stopped for the night and pulled the cart off the road into a field. Merry asked to be taken out of the cart, and so Éowyn took him up in her arms and carried him and his blankets to a grassy patch under an outcrop of rock. She stationed herself on the rock, standing guard over him.</p><p>Sam saw to Sweet Pea, with Frodo’s help, and Pippin and Faramir went off for a little hunting.</p><p>As night drew in close around them, they built a fire and brought Merry to sit before it. He wrapped his blankets tight around his shoulders and leaned back against the trunk of an oak.</p><p>Sam cooked for them, roasting the pheasant that Faramir had brought back. When it was finished, Éowyn came down from the rock to eat with them and Frodo told them in brief everything that had happened to them since they returned to the Shire, and of the Rider’s attack.</p><p>“You have had even more adventures,” Faramir marveled. “If only we had known there was trouble in the Shire.”</p><p>“It was for us to attend to,” Frodo said gently, “just as Ithilian was for you to attend to, Prince, and Rohan was for you to attend to, Princess. We heard some tales of your work in those places, and we had tidings of your wedding in Minas Tirith. I was very sorry to have missed it.”</p><p>“It was a good day,” Éowyn said, “and the days since have been better.”</p><p>“Tell us your news?” Merry said softly, “And of your home in Ithilien.”</p><p>“I have written to Merry of Arnen,” Éowyn said, “but I don’t think I have gone into much detail. It is a small town, by the waters of the Anduin, and a stronghold, where the hills and forest meet the plain. In fact, we can see Minas Tirith from the high points of the town; and though it is small now, it is home to strong-hearted people.”</p><p>“It is a beautiful place,” Faramir said, “and it is my joy to dwell in the country that I love, near the lord whom I love. I had thought that my heart would ache for the ancestral home of the Princes’ of Ithilien,” Faramir said. “But it is not so.”</p><p>"The rightful home," Sam mused, "and where is that?" Faramir glanced at him.</p><p>"You have been there, Sam. We call it Minas Ithil, but you know it as Minas Morgul." Sam gasped.</p><p>“It cannot be dwelt in,” Éowyn said, “the King warned us that Minas Ithil in Morgul Vale cannot be inhabited for generations of Men, until it is clean again. We have made a start of that. I took a company and ventured into that cursed valley and together we pulled down the walls and cleaved the battlements and burned it all. That was a good fire.”</p><p>Sam shivered.</p><p>“Our children or perhaps their children, will rule from that place- in a new blessed Tower of the Rising Moon,” Faramir said wistfully. Éowyn met his eyes from across the fire, and it seemed to Sam as if he saw a light of joy within her.</p><p>“But for now, we build a place worthy of the Prince of Ithilien,” she said with a smile.</p><p>“And worthy of it’s Princess,” Faramir said, “The people of Ithilien have fallen in love with Éowyn. You should see the whole town, standing spellbound, when she rides out at dawn under the trees. Her strength and resilience and her works of healing have given us guidance in this New Age.”</p><p>“But enough,” Éowyn said, turning from her husband to regard the hobbits, “you want news of our errand, I guess.”</p><p>“Yes. What do you know of the return of the Riders?” Frodo asked, “Have they come from Minas Morgul or Mordor?</p><p>“We saw no sign of them in the Morgul Vale,” Éowyn said darkly, “but it was not long after we burned the place that the trouble began. I do not know if the two are connected.”</p><p>“I will tell you what we do know,” Faramir said. “Last year I was riding on my own in the hills of Emyn Arnen, when I came up onto a ridge above the fir trees. The land there is rocky and covered in vast forests of moss, and mountain snow melts run down across that rocky expanse, in thousands of waterfalls and countless rainbows rise from the spray when the sun shines. There in that blessed place my eye caught on a stark pile of what I believed to be tangled beech branches, dead and bleached white by the sun.</p><p>"As I drew nearer though, I found that it was a vast boneyard, with the bones of oliphants and Men intermingled. I stopped to pray there, for it pained my heart to see such death. I buried the Men as best I could and planted flowers and plants that could thrive in such a place and sweeten it. Each time I venture up to that ridge, in fact, I stop to pray at that place. And each time I have left comforted to see that place of death become more beautiful and holy each time I return.</p><p>"But the peace of that place is no more.</p><p>"I rode up there as this past summer drew to an end. When I reached it, the first thing I saw was the spindly branches of a rose bush growing up through the half buried ribs of an oliphant. The last time I had been that way, the roses were blooming and the bones were blanketed in soft petals. Now, the bush was shriveled and dark and twisted. The leaves and buds that remained clinging were rotten and foul.</p><p>"I took this as an ill omen, though what it might foretell I could not say. I felt in my heart though, that the golden peace laid out before us, might not go on.”</p><p>“That is when my dreams turned dark,” Éowyn said and paused for a long moment. “It was three weeks ago when the Rider came. We had retired for the night and I was almost asleep,” her voice went low and soft as she spoke. “But then I was overcome with a feeling of dread and when I looked down at the foot of our bed, there was a figure, clothed in darkness. I thought it was a waking dream, but I got to my sword before it could get closer.”</p><p>“You sleep with a sword at your bedside?” Pippin asked as he pulled Frodo’s arm around his shoulders.</p><p>“I do,” Éowyn said with a smile.</p><p>“I woke to Éowyn battling the thing over our bed,” Faramir said gravely, “I grabbed for my own sword and we overpowered him.”</p><p>“He fled then and though we chased after, he escaped our House and slipped over the walls of the city. The last we saw, that figure was disappearing into the dark forests of Emyn Arnen.”</p><p>“I rode to Minas Tirth,” Éowyn said, “as I can ride fast and I would not allow danger to fall in the people of Arnen. And the King had to be warned that Riders were abroad once more.”</p><p>“It hurt my heart to watch her ride away,” Faramir said, “but I knew that if the Nazgûl attacked in force, we could do nothing against their might. And too, if my wife truly was the Rider’s prey, then she would find better protection in the City than in our small forest town.”</p><p>Éowyn was silent for a moment.</p><p>“He came from the dark hills of Emyn Arnen. As dawn broke I heard hoof beats behind me. I turned to see a figure in gray robes, sweeping nearer on a ghostly white horse. A feeling of sick terror fell on me and my mare. She panicked and bolted but she did not throw me. We both saw the gates of Minas Tirith and hoped for help that way.</p><p>We made it through and the creature behind me gave a ringing cry of fury. The gates were closed behind me and I went up to the King’s throne room at once. He was there with his queen, both of them standing at the window, watching the field below. They were very grave.”</p><p>“Many things happened after that,” Faramir said, “I will not bore you with the details, but parties were sent out searching for the Nazgûl. The king himself went riding after, seeking for the foul Rider. Word was sent far and wide so that all the kingdoms of Men and Elves and Dwarves and Hobbits would know that the Wraiths were come once more. We were sent to the Shire to carry word, and to guard Merry, as we thought it likely that he too would be targeted.”</p><p>“Thank you, my friends,” Merry said softly.</p><p>“Alas that we were too late,” Éowyn said, “and the Rider was swifter than we were.”</p><p>The group fell silent and the fire crackled softly in the interim. Sam sipped <em>athelas</em> tea and poured more for Frodo, handing it to him. Frodo took the cup and nodded in thanks. He looked anxious, to Sam’s eyes.</p><p>“Don’t the Riders have better things to do than try and kill someone like Merry?” Pippin asked, a touch of anger in his voice. Sam blinked and looked over at him.</p><p>“Thank you, Pippin,” Merry said flatly.</p><p>“I didn’t mean-”</p><p>“We don’t know why they have returned,” Faramir said quietly, “Nor how.”</p><p>“I wonder,” Frodo said softly, “if you have had tidings of Gandalf?”</p><p>“No, not in a long time,” Faramir said, “It was my understanding that he was wandering up in these northern lands. We have seen no sign of him nor heard anything of him.” Frodo was silent. Pippin blinked owlishly in the fire light.</p><p>“Do you think he knows about the Riders?” he asked.</p><p>“I would guess that he does,” Faramir said, “much is known to Mithrandir.”</p><p>Frodo clasped his hands around the tea cup. He was trembling.</p><p>“Maybe," Sam said gently, "Mr. Gandalf’s doing what he can to keep the Riders from doing harm to anyone else." Frodo looked up at him, meeting his eyes.</p><p>“The Nazgûl at the height of their power would not challenge him,” Faramir said, “at least, that is what I have heard.” Pippin sat up, looking suddenly fierce.</p><p>“You heard right.”</p><p>"I'll take comfort in that," Frodo said and smiled, but the smile did not reach his eyes.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Light Talk in Dark Times</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the evening drew on, Merry began to tire. He tried standing up and walked a little ways, but he needed Faramir’s help to get back into the cart. Sam went with him, telling everyone goodnight as he climbed up and shut the doors.</p><p>Merry had settled onto his pallet, trying to find a comfortable spot. Sam settled onto his own pallet.</p><p>“I can tell you, I’m glad Captain Faramir and Lady Éowyn are here,” he said conversationally. </p><p>“Me too,” Merry murmured.</p><p>“You alright, Mr. Merry? I can make you a fresh poultice, or some tea.”</p><p>“No, I’m alright. Just tired,” Merry said wearily. Sam paused.</p><p>“I could lie close, if you like? That night air must have chilled you.”</p><p>“Yes, please,” Merry murmured. Sam crawled over and got under the blankets, carefully putting his arm around Merry. “Thank you, Sam.”</p><p>“Course, Mr. Merry.”</p><p>They fell silent for a time. Sam stretched and yawned, feeling sleepy.</p><p>“Sam?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Does it help you, when Frodo says his verses and all?” Merry whispered.</p><p>“It does,” Sam whispered back. “Does it help you?”</p><p>“Yes. I’m astounded by it. It makes me feel like I’ve had a good meal and I’m curled up by the fire with someone I love.”</p><p>Sam smiled.</p><p>“That’s a fine way of putting it.”</p><p>“He’s kept me feeling so well, despite this wound. But even so,” Merry said softly, “I’m beginning to feel it.” Sam blinked and rubbed his back.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I can hear Them.”</p><p>Sam felt a chill.</p><p>“Them?” he whispered. “The Riders?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Sam didn’t know what to say. Merry’s words terrified him.</p><p>“Are they close?” he asked.</p><p>“I don’t know. I can’t tell that. I can only tell that there are several voices.”</p><p>“Have you told Mr. Frodo?” Sam whispered.</p><p>“No. I’ll worry him.”</p><p>“He’s already worried, and he knows better than anyone what’s happening.”</p><p>“You’re right, but still.”</p><p>“I can tell him, if you like.”</p><p>“Please,” Merry murmured.</p><p>“I will. Don’t you fear now, we’ll be to Rivendell before you know it.”</p><p>“Frodo lived for weeks with his wound before we reached Rivendell.”</p><p>“That’s right. And see, he came out alright.”</p><p>“But I’m not as strong as him,” Merry whispered. Sam reached up and stroked Merry’s hair.</p><p>“You’re strong in different ways. We all are. And we won’t let you die, Mr. Frodo least of all. Folks say I’m stubborn, but he’s much more stubborn than me. You’ll see, Mr. Merry. His strength is in protecting those he loves.” Merry rested his head on Sam’s shoulder.</p><p>“I love him so dearly,” Merry whispered, “And I love you, Sam.”</p><p>“I love you as well,” Sam said. Merry hugged him.</p><p>“I feel a bit better. Thank you. I think I can sleep now.”</p><p>“You sleep then, dear hobbit.”</p><p>§</p><p>“Are you certain you feel up to keeping watch?” Frodo asked as he banked the fire.</p><p>“Go on, it’s my turn,” Pippin said. “You haven’t had a proper night's sleep in two days.”</p><p>“Alright then. Good night.”</p><p>Frodo walked over to the cart and climbed up, fastening the door shut behind him. It was dark inside but his eyes adjusted quickly. Sam and Merry were curled up tight against one another, with Sam’s arms around Merry, holding him close. Frodo crawled over and fit himself in the space at Merry’s back, putting an arm over him, reaching to stroke Sam’s hair.</p><p>“Mmf,” Sam said.</p><p>“Mm,” Frodo sighed and closed his eyes.</p><p>§</p><p>In the morning, Frodo woke and rose. He left the cart briefly to heat water by the fire for tea and for <em>athelas </em>water. This he brought back into the cart and closed up the doors, for Sam was still sleeping. He and Merry had a small breakfast and Frodo cleaned and dressed his wound. Sam woke then and ate breakfast as Frodo sat beside him and held the phial, reciting his verses as he lay his other hand on Sam’s injured arm, as he had done each morning.</p><p>When he was finished, Frodo set his phial into the pocket in his vest and patted Sam’s hand. He turned to do the same for Merry, but Merry had dozed off.</p><p>“Oh well, later I suppose,” Frodo said and lay down beside Sam. Sam curled onto his side, rubbing his hand. “Is it any better?” Frodo asked him.</p><p>“Warmer,” Sam said, “Here, feel for yourself.” Frodo reached out and took his hand, holding it, rubbing Sam’s palm with his thumb in a slow circle.</p><p>“You’re sure it’s warmer?” Frodo asked quietly.</p><p>“It feels warmer to me. And I feel stronger after what you do,” Sam said, “my heart especially. I feel like I could sing.”</p><p>“I like your singing,” Frodo murmured.</p><p>“Shall I sing to you?” Sam asked fondly.</p><p>“Not now, you’ll wake Merry,” Frodo smiled. Sam hummed, looking very content. Frodo drew Sam’s hand to his chest, placed it there, then reached up and lay his palm to Sam’s round cheek. Sam blinked slowly, peace in his face. Frodo felt himself move closer, guided by something that felt like instinct, he nuzzled Sam’s forehead and let his arm move down to clasp him, rubbing his back. His heartbeat quickened, even as he smiled and lay kisses to Sam’s head and stroked his ears. Sam chuffed out a quiet laugh and bent into Frodo’s embrace. Delighted, Frodo rolled against him, grinning.</p><p>“Ah, Frodo,” Sam whispered and grappled with him, tugging him closer, “you want to play, do you?” Frodo laughed and tried to climb on top of Sam, except Sam wasn’t having it.</p><p>“Sam! Let me,” Frodo complained in a whisper and Sam slipped out of his grip and captured Frodo in a hold.</p><p>“You just let me have my way, this time, Mr. Baggins,” Sam said. “I think I need to prove to you that my arm is getting stronger.”</p><p>“I’ll hardly play rough with you injured,” Frodo sniffed. Sam laughed softly and sat up, keeping him arm over Frodo, holding him down.</p><p>“Go on, try and lift my arm off.”</p><p>Frodo squirmed, trying to wriggle away and Sam lay down on his side pinning him.</p><p>“Not like that, you naughty hobbit,” Sam whispered.</p><p>“You’re sitting on me! That’s not fair,” Frodo laughed.</p><p>“Oh, I’ll show you fair,” Sam sprawled over him and held him as he kissed Frodo’s ear.</p><p>“Ah! No. Tickles,” Frodo squeaked.</p><p>“You do this to me all the time,” Sam said with conviction. Frodo squirmed, but Sam could hold him if he had a mind to, and it seemed he had a mind to. Frodo curled and giggled.</p><p>“H-help. Assaulting the Mayor,” Frodo gasped and pinched him.</p><p>“Oh! Assaulting the Deputy Mayor,” Sam laughed.</p><p>“We’ll both of us be in trouble then.”</p><p>Sam’s head dipped down and he kissed Frodo’s neck. Frodo slowed his struggling. Sam kissed him again and Frodo felt a stir of excitement. Sam drew away.</p><p>“Ah well. If I’m in trouble, at least I’m in trouble alongside you,” he said, looking down at Frodo. Frodo collected himself and smiled.</p><p>“I wouldn’t dream of getting into trouble without you,” he said. Sam’s face brightened.</p><p>“Ah. That’s as it should be.”</p><p>§</p><p>Pippin and Éowyn were seated at the front of the cart, finishing their breakfast. The little window above the driver’s seat had been open and so they had heard much of Frodo and Sam’s whispered scuffle. Pippin had a hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh audibly, though his shoulders shook. Éowyn smiled, her spirits seemingly lifted by all that she had heard.</p><p>Pippin hopped down from the cart and went to hitch the pony. Éowyn set aside her mug of coffee and went to help.</p><p>“You hobbits are very untroubled for being pursued by such deathly creatures,” she said. “You’re very brave.”</p><p>Pippin stilled considering this.</p><p>“It’s not bravery. It’s our way,” he said.</p><p>“I suppose I haven’t seen you all together in such times,” Éowyn said, “I faced hardships with Merry, but he was without the company of other hobbits for most of our time together.” Pippin was quiet.</p><p>“We hold tight to light talk and nonsense,” Pippin said, “especially when we are afraid.”<br/>
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Éowyn considered this, then patted Pippin's shoulder in thanks, stepping away to help her husband hide the signs of their camp. Pippin gazed up at the sky. It looked like they were in for rain. </p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. A Warm Room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They came into Bree around midday. As Pippin predicted, the sky opened up and it began to pour. Frodo was glad to get to the town, for the road was quickly becoming a mess and he didn’t want to get the cart stuck.</p><p>“We could stop?” Pippin asked.</p><p>“I’d planned a short stop, but I’m not sure now,” Frodo admitted.</p><p>“I know every hour is precious for Merry, but Sweat Pea needs a proper rest. We ran her a bit hard to get to Bree and out of the territory of that band of extorters.”</p><p>“It’s our last chance for a lot of things until we reach Rivendell. Even so, I think I would press on after a break, but for the rain.” Frodo sighed, “if we break a wheel or if Sweat Pea misses a step we’ll be in a very bad way. I think we must stay the night at least.”</p><p>“Shall we try the Pony?” Pippin asked, brightening. “We could shock old Barliman.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t dream of missing him. He will hear we passed through town and if we didn’t go see him he would take it very hard.”</p><p>§</p><p>Barliman Butterbur was delighted to see them and put them up in two nice rooms on the ground floor. Faramir carried Merry in through a side entrance and brought him to the nicer of the two rooms, with a large fireplace near the bed. Barliman brought Merry a cordial and placed it on the bedside table.</p><p>“This is an old family cure,” Barliman said, “get that down you, Mr. Brandybuck. And don’t go doing anything hasty like dying on the premises.” Frodo scowled up at the innkeeper.</p><p>“Would ruin the reputation you’ve built,” Pippin sniffed, “What did I see out there on the wall? <em>King Elessar Slept Here</em>.”</p><p>“Well,” Barliman demurred, “He did.”</p><p>“Also the site of the devastating pillow slaughter of 1418,” Frodo said cattily. "Perhaps there's room to advertise that as well." Barliman glanced down at Frodo.</p><p>“Mr. Baggins, I don’t go telling you your business. Don’t tell me mine,” he said grumpily. Frodo laughed.</p><p>Nob called for him and Barliman had to excuse himself. Frodo and Pippin climbed onto the oversized bed and sat with Merry as he eyed the cordial Barliman had given him. He smelled it, then gingerly took a sip.</p><p>“Is it wretched?” Frodo asked. Merry took another sip.</p><p>“It’s alright. It’s mostly brandy I think.”</p><p>“I want some,” Pippin said, reaching for the bottle.</p><p>“I’m the sick one,” Merry said and blocked Pippin’s hand. Pippin looked indignant.</p><p>“Frodo!” he cried. Frodo laughed. “Don’t laugh!”</p><p>“I’ll buy you a drink, Pip, how’s that?” Frodo smiled.</p><p>“I’m holding you to that. But after I help Faramir and Éowyn unload. I ought to go help. I’ll be back,” Pippin said, and went off. Frodo watched him go.</p><p>“He’s going to want me to go down with him. He’s going to be disappointed.”</p><p>“Why don’t you want to go down?” Merry asked.</p><p>“It feels a bit wrong to relax,” Frodo said. “And maybe unwise.”</p><p>“Don’t be like that,” Merry said, “Remember when you were hurt and you tried to get us to sing? It lifted our spirits. I want you to rest and take an evening off from deadly worry. Go buy Pippin that drink. And take a bit of quiet time for you and Sam to be alone. I know you’ve missed that.” Frodo blinked and looked at him. “Anyway, I want to catch up with Éowyn. I’ll be well taken care of.”</p><p>“Alright,” Frodo said, “but I will try to be careful about taking my ease. No dancing on tables this time.” Merry snorted.</p><p>“Probably for the best. And don’t go out for a night stroll.”</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo wandered out, then paused at the entrance to the other room they’d booked. Sam was inside, curled up on the bedspread. Frodo entered and sat down beside him. Sam glanced at him.</p><p>“Have you a moment?” he asked.</p><p>“Yes. Briefly, anyway,” Frodo said, “When Pippin is finished I’m going down to the common room with him.”</p><p>“Ah, this won’t take but a moment,” Sam said. “But close the door?” he added. Frodo rose and did so, then sat back down beside him. Sam hauled himself up and leaned back against the headboard. He looked tired.</p><p>“Yes?”<br/><br/>“Mr. Merry told me, he’s starting to feel that wound more,” Sam said softly, “And something a bit worse,” he took a breath and met Frodo’s eyes, “he says he can hear the wraiths.”</p><p>“Hear them?” Frodo gasped.</p><p>“That’s what he told me. He asked me to tell you.”</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo paused, worried. “When I was wounded, I don’t remember hearing them.” Sam blinked.</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“No. I wonder,” Frodo shivered. “Oh. I should have brought the hilt of that dagger. It might tell the Elves something of his wound.”</p><p>“We got it, Mr. Frodo,” Sam said gently. “Mr. Fatty wrapped it up while you were getting the cart sorted back in Tookland. Figured we might need it. It’s in that bundle in the corner of the cart. Wrapped it tight as we didn’t want no body touching it by accident.”</p><p>“Oh. You clever hobbits,” Frodo said and took Sam’s hand. Sam clasped his hand.</p><p>“Do you think him hearing them means they’re close?” Sam asked in a near whisper. Frodo shivered.</p><p>“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “But it’s not a good sign.” Sam didn’t answer. They held to one another, grim and silent.</p><p>The door opened with a bang, making them jump. Pippin came in, cheeks flushed.</p><p>“Alright!” he cried, “I’m finished and ready for my drink.” He blinked at them. “Oh. Whoops. Sorry,” he said. “That’s silly of me to go bursting in on you two.”</p><p>“Silly?” Frodo laughed.</p><p>“Merry says I’m indiscreet,” Pippin shrugged.</p><p>“Mr. Merry is right,” Sam said, leaning back to peer at Pippin, with a half smile. Pippin snorted.</p><p>“Sam! Come have a drink with us,” he said.</p><p>“I’m not feeling up for such,” Sam said. Pippin looked disappointed. Frodo turned to him.</p><p>“Can I bring you something?” he asked. Sam considered this.</p><p>“I’m not really hungry, but I know I ought to eat. If when you’re ready to come back, could you bring me a bit to eat- whatever is on offer- and would you see if they have a dark beer?” he asked. Frodo promised he would and he and Pippin went down to investigate.</p><p>§</p><p>Éowyn entered the larger room and brought the rest of the bags in, setting the down beside Merry’s bed. She fastened the door and took a seat by the fire, near the head of the bed. Merry turned so that he could face her.</p><p>“Are you guarding me?” he asked. Eowyn smiled and patted the short sword strapped at her hip.</p><p>“May I?” she asked.</p><p>“Yes, and I’m very grateful,” Merry said. Eowyn smiled at him and gazed into the fire.</p><p>“Apart from your wound and this recent trouble, how have you been my friend? It’s been some time since your last letter. Faramir reads them to me before the fire and it’s like I can almost see the Shire in your words.”</p><p>“That sounds lovely. I’m sorry I haven’t written,” Merry said. “I’ll try and be better about that.” He paused, “We’ve been very busy, ever since Frodo came back from Rivendell. So much as happened- he and Sam were elected, I helped get them moved to Michel Delving and I’ve been working on getting Crickhollow sold. I’ve been making trips around Buckland, checking to make sure the harvests are coming along. We won’t have anyone hungry this winter.”</p><p>“You are so very hard working, and just as much of a helper and a planner as I recall,” Éowyn sighed.</p><p>“It feels right.”</p><p>“Doesn’t it?” she smiled.</p><p>“Do you get to do enough of the sorts of things that help you feel right?” Merry asked quietly.</p><p>“You are afraid I have been pushed into some role.”</p><p>“It’s happened before,” Merry murmured. Éowyn patted his hand.</p><p>“Dear Merry, do not be troubled. The place that I have is a partnership with my husband. We are learning together and our house is a place of healing and joy and good works.”</p><p>“I am so relieved to hear that,” Merry said happily.</p><p>“And you? I have heard a number of things about others, but little about your own happiness, my friend.”</p><p>“As to that,” Merry was silent for a long moment, “I’m not sure. I feel like there’s so much work to do. And I’ve been so taken up with it or with worrying over my friends that I haven’t had much time to think on myself. I am happy, at least happy in the new way that we are all learning to be happy. The only times I’m really down are times like this, when I can’t do anything to be useful.” He trailed off, feeling the burn of tears. He added softly, “I’ve gone back to being luggage.”</p><p>“I know how frustrating it is to be hurt and yet your heart years for action,” Éowyn said, moving closer to lay her hand to his shoulder. “But you must wage a different kind of fight now.”</p><p>“I know. It’s foolish to think I should be trying to do anything else. But I hate for my friends to face danger when I can do nothing,” Merry whispered.</p><p>“You can stay alive for them,” Éowyn said, “and you can stay alive for yourself. Defy your enemies Merry. You are the prize they seek.”</p><p>“Defy them with me,” Merry said softly, “We are strong together.” She clasped his hand.</p><p>“Together, my brave friend.”</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Darkness Held Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo stayed in the common room for less than an hour. He ordered a small supper and another to be packed up for Sam. Faramir came and joined them, reporting that he had not found any suspicious signs in the vicinity of the inn. Frodo hoped that meant they would have a peaceful night. Being in the Pony gave him a strange sense that he was once more standing on the precipice, with a long dark plunge ahead. It didn’t help that Gandalf had still not come.</p><p>It all felt too familiar.</p><p>When Frodo tired of the loud common room, he rose, taking his drink as well as the beer and meal he’d ordered for Sam, and retreated to the smaller room. He entered and found that Sam had a nice blaze going in the fireplace. The little room was decked out comfortably in wood and soft white plaster with a red brick fireplace, lit with lanterns, making it feel warm and cozy.</p><p>Frodo brought the mug over to the fireplace and set it on the low table. Sam came and took a seat on the small couch beside Frodo and began to eat his meal, thanking Frodo for bringing it. He took up his drink and sipped, his eyes slipping shut in pleasure.</p><p>“Oh that is fine. Mr. Barliman keeps good beer on tap.”</p><p>“He asked that I warn you- that stout has enough alcohol in it to get a Man drunk if he doesn’t sip it.”</p><p>“Well I don’t know how Men take their ale different from us. But I know my limit, Mr. Frodo.”</p><p>“Hm. Do you Mr. Samwise?” Frodo said, smiling as he looked into the fire. Sam glanced at him, smiling a little.</p><p>“Teasing me?” He asked softly. Frodo sipped his own drink.</p><p>“Maybe a little,” he said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t. You know you can call me what you like.”</p><p>“So I do.”</p><p>“And I think it’s sweet when you switch and call me Frodo.”</p><p>Color rose up in Sam’s cheeks and he sent Frodo a happy look. He dropped his eyes and nudged Frodo’s foot with his own. Frodo smiled and settled in, sipping his drink.</p><p>“There’s something I been meaning to give you,” Sam said after a time. He rose and went for his bag in the corner. Frodo set his drink aside, curious. Sam returned, holding a bit of slim leather, coiled in his hand. It looked like a belt of some kind, but with small holsters and pouches attached. He placed it into Frodo’s hands.</p><p>“Sam, it’s lovely,” Frodo said, examining it closer. The leather was tooled with small interlocking patterns drawn to look like vines and leaves and flowers.</p><p>“It can be worn like a belt, or across your shoulder, either way,” Sam said softly, “the holster there, that’s made to fit the phial. I don’t know about you, but when I wore it in my vest pockets I was always afraid of it slipping out. I put a few other little pouches for whatever you like- <em>athelas</em>, and other herbs maybe.”</p><p>“Thank you for this,” Frodo said, “it’s so thoughtful and exactly what I need. I've been longing for some way to have the phial at the ready. This is absolutely perfect. How in the Shire did you manage to make this? It must have taken some time.”</p><p>“I’ve been working on it since you come back from Rivendell,” Sam said shyly. “I haven’t had much time to work on it, but I did what I could. I meant to do a bit more of the patterns, but I thought, you need it now, so, figured I’d offer it.”</p><p>“You’ve been working on it that long?”</p><p>“Yes. Ever since you told me Gandalf had set you that task, to heal the hearts of the Shire. Figured you’d be needing such a thing if you would be going back to those long walks. This was meant to be a tool for your healing work.” He smiled, “I’d kept it at Bag End. Asked Mr. Fatty to get it for me when we stopped by. I suppose I could have give it to you then, but I wanted to wait and see if there was a good moment.”</p><p>“A good moment, Sam?” Frodo asked. Sam blushed.</p><p>“In private,” Sam said. Frodo smiled, a little mystified. “I feel a little shy about it. It’s something I made and,” he paused, “there’s something I meant to say when I gave it to you, when I thought I’d be giving it to you when you would be setting off for that work.”</p><p>“Now I’m terribly curious,” Frodo said, “would you tell me what you were going to say?” Sam met his eyes and set his drink aside.</p><p>“Oh, yes, but it might sound a little silly to you now,” he said. Frodo reached for his hand.</p><p>“I would never call anything heartfelt from you silly.”</p><p>“Well then,” Sam murmured, “I would have told you about the patterns I was going to put on it, all flowers and leaves that are made for healing, and then for the patterns on the inside of the belt, those would all be flowers and leaves that mean protection and strength- ah, only I didn’t finish those.” He faltered. Frodo rubbed his hand.</p><p>“It’s alright. Go on.”</p><p>“I’d have told you that what you were doing was such a needed thing, and that I was so proud of you for doing something so difficult, and that after everything you’ve done, there’s still strength in your heart for more. You really amaze me, you know?” he smiled and let out a breath, “And, I really hope that this task helps you too. It helped me, when I took my walks and did my forestry work. It made something right inside me.” He took another breath. “And I would have told you that if you want me to come with you, you’ve only to say the word, no matter what. And if this is something that you must do on your own, then that’s alright, but know that if you need me, you’ve only to call for me and I’ll fly to your side, no matter where your feet have taken you.”</p><p>Frodo tried to find breath, but it seemed to have left him.</p><p>“I am so lucky,” he said at last, “to have someone who loves me as you do.”</p><p>The words came to him and he felt for a moment a sense of confusion- like he’d said the words before. Sam smiled wide, grinning.</p><p>“If you’re lucky then I’m just as lucky,” he said, his ear tips red. Frodo set the belt aside and pulled Sam into an embrace. As warm and content as he felt, the confusion memory blended with the return of the feeling that he could not pin down. Together they swirled within him. Frodo let them unspool, prodding gently at the feeling, trying to understand it. But as it always had, it evaded him once more.</p><p>§</p><p>“That corner there is where we first laid eyes on him,” Pippin said, speaking as he bit off a hunk of bread and cheese. Faramir glanced at the corner where a large boisterous party of Men and hobbits crowded around the table, playing a drinking game. “We got a warning that he was a no good Ranger and only known as <em>Strider</em>. And do you know, that’s what we called him for some time.”</p><p>“You called the King, Strider?” Faramir laughed.</p><p>“Sam still calls him Strider,” Pippin said, dropping his voice conspiratorially, “at least when there aren’t fancy folks about.”</p><p>“Sam has always struck me as a bit headstrong,” Faramir said. Pippin snorted.</p><p>“That’s one way of putting it.”</p><p>“I don’t mean any offense, of course,” Faramir smiled and sipped his drink. “I am very fond of him.”</p><p>“We all are,” Pippin said, “his stubbornness and steadfastness is very reassuringly hobbity, at least to us.” He paused, “I’ll tell you more of Sam’s exploits. For instance, back when we met Strider here, and after we had it out with him, and settled down in his room Sam managed to cheer everyone up with his stubborness and sureness." Pippin gazed out across the room. "It was a very frightening night for us all. It all came so real suddenly, just what was after us and how much danger we were in, and that we weren’t in the kind of adventure that we’d heard tales of our whole lives.” Pippin fell quiet a moment, sipping his drink, and then began to recount the conversations they’d had in Strider’s room two years ago.</p><p>“After Frodo made the decision to trust him, we settled in for the night,” Pippin began.</p><p>Frodo and Pippin had been seated on the bed, while Sam was stretched out before the fire. Merry sat in a corner by the bed, glancing nervously at the window from time to time, though the shutters were drawn tight.</p><p>Pippin himself had been terrified of all this serious talk and the precautions they were taking, moving to Strider’s room on the second floor. Frodo was very quiet, chafing his hands every so often. The conversation had lulled into a tense silence. Pippin, as he was finding himself doing more and more, pushed his fear down and tried to think of how to cheer everyone. He sat up. Sam alone seemed immune to the anxiety that Pippin saw in everyone else’s faces. Sam was warming his feet by the fire as he stitched a button that had come loose from his coat.</p><p>“Hark at Sam,” he said, “I don’t think any of this dark business gets to him. Imperturbable, that’s our Sam.” Sam blinked in the firelight and considered him.</p><p>“Well sir, we are inside and warm and safe.”</p><p>“I don’t see how you figure that,” Merry said softly. Pippin looked over at his cousin and saw that Merry still has that pinched look that had never gone away since his return from outside. “We’re surrounded by darkness and danger and it’s closing in faster than any of us think. No, we’ll never be safe,” he went on. Strider frowned at this but did not speak. Sam frowned too and sat up to gaze at Merry.</p><p>“We’re safe in this moment sir, and that’s maybe all we can hope for on a journey like this,” Sam said quietly, “And right now, well, we’re all together in this warm room, even if it is upstairs, and Mr. Frodo is safe with us and I think we’ve done alright, even with all the darkness around us.” Merry seemed to ease at these words but he didn’t speak. Strider straightened in his chair and bent down to regard Sam.</p><p>“Even if you’ve acquired an unwelcome guest, Master Samwise?” he asked. Sam glanced over at Merry, then looked back to Strider and gave him a measured look.</p><p>“Well sir,” he said after a moment, “my master seems to think you’re alright, so I’ll not speak against you again,” and here he scowled, “lest you give me a reason to, Mr. Strider.” Strider threw back his head and laughed, gripping Sam’s shoulder firmly to give him a friendly clasp.</p><p>“I shall do my best not to,” he said.</p><p>“See that you don’t,” Sam growled up at him. “Or I’ll have more than words for you.”</p><p>“Sam, dear,” Frodo said quickly, “come sit by me and don’t threaten Strider.” Sam frowned a little but did as Frodo asked, tying off his button before rising and climbing onto the bed, moving over to sit at Frodo’s side. Sam hugged his legs and glowered over his knees at Strider. To Pippin’s relief, Merry was watching this and his gloom had faded. He even smiled, watching Frodo try to sooth Sam.</p><p>Not long after, they’d decided to try and get some sleep. All four hobbits piled into the bed, while Strider stayed awake, guarding them.</p><p>Pippin lay still in the soft bed watching Sam shift about trying to get comfortable.</p><p>“Sam, be still!” Merry complained.</p><p>“It’s too soft sir,” Sam said in a despairing tone. Frodo chuckled helplessly and Sam turned to give him an injured look.</p><p>“I’m sorry!” Frodo managed between laughs, “But you started out the journey complaining about sleeping on tree roots and hard ground and now the bed is too soft.”</p><p>“Never knew you were so fussy Sam,” Pippin said giggling.</p><p>“Oh aye, laugh if you like,” Sam grumbled and burrowed down to hide his face in the pillows near Frodo. Frodo looked a bit guilty and reached out, covering Sam’s hand with his own. Sam shifted and looked up at him from under the pillows.</p><p>“If you four aren’t quiet the Black Riders will find you from the sound of your squabbling,” Strider said tiredly. Pippin made a rude noise and Merry snorted.</p><p>“He’s right. Let’s get some rest,” Frodo said, obviously trying to sound like a wise voice of reason. Pippin noticed that he hadn’t moved his hand from Sam’s and Sam hadn’t drawn it away. Pippin got up and shifted down to snuggle into the space at Frodo’s back. Frodo grumbled a little, but shifted to accommodate him. It felt nice to have that warmth in the dark. He smiled. Somehow, in the space of a short time, they’d gone from nervous fear to feeling warm and put at ease. Pippin recognized that even though he’d tried to cheer everyone, it was Sam who had done it, whether he’d meant to or not.</p><p>“And so we went to sleep, not guessing that Frodo’s wisdom kept us alive that night. We found our room broken in to, the next morning- Our pillows were stabbed. Frodo and Strider saved our lives,” Pippin trailed off, moved by the memory. "And Sam put us at ease enough so that we could get some sleep, which we badly needed." Faramir finished his drink.</p><p>“The love and affection that you four have for one another touches my heart,” he said. “I am glad that you had it, even at the beginning of your journey.” Pippin nodded.</p><p>“It’s the only reason we are alive,” he said. “I’m convinced of that.”</p><p>“I am as well.”</p><p>They finished up at the bar and went into the back of the inn, down the hall to the guest rooms. Pippin and Faramir said goodnight; Pippin going to the room where Merry and Éowyn were staying, Faramir going to the room where Frodo and Sam were staying.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo glanced up from his journal as Faramir entered the room. The Man tried to enter quietly, but even so, Sam stirred. He’d been dozing on the bed beside Frodo.</p><p>“Is the common room still busy?” Frodo asked. Sam sat up, blinking in the fire light, yawning.</p><p>“It is,” Faramir answered, taking a seat by the fire and drawing his bag into his lap.</p><p>“I’m glad Barliman has good business,” Frodo said.</p><p>“I have to think it has something to do with the quality of his beer. It’s some of the finest I’ve tasted,” Faramir said, drawing herbs out of his pack. These he slipped into his mouth and began to chew. Sam peered at him and went to sit with him, curious.</p><p>“What’s that?” he asked. Faramir turned away from the fire and smiled at Sam.</p><p>“In Gondor we call it <em>felon</em>,” he said and drew a bit out and gave it to Sam. Sam took it and rubbed the leaves, bringing it to his nose to smell. “I chew a bit each night to keep my seed infertile until Éowyn and I are ready for children.”</p><p>“Oh,” Sam hummed, intrigued.</p><p>“That’s very thoughtful of you,” Frodo said.</p><p>“Thoughtful?” Faramir blinked, surprised. Frodo felt embarrassed. That old feeling of being uncultured in Faramir’s presence rose in him as it had back in Ithilien.</p><p>“I beg your pardon,” Frodo said, “I’m afraid that it’s more usual for hobbits to expect this sort of thing to be taken care of by the partner who could fall pregnant.”</p><p>“I see,” Faramir said gently, “I suppose we see it more as a shared responsibility.”</p><p>“I think that’s a bit of a better way to think of it,” Sam said.</p><p>“I’ve learned not to press my own culture on to others. We’re all different,” Faramir said. “Éowyn was also surprised. Rohan has attitudes like those you’ve described.”</p><p>“I suppose that must be difficult, when you are from such different cultures.,” Frodo mused.</p><p>“Oh, but she is my light and my joy,” Faramir said quietly. “We might surprise one another, and we might not understand one another sometimes. But those differences can be bridged with work.” He turned to them. “It might be a bit like the pair of you,” he said. “You two must be quite different in background. And yet.”</p><p>“Ah. That’s so,” Sam said softly. Frodo smiled and didn’t add anything. Their words made him feel warm.</p><p>After a bit more talk, Frodo and Sam settled in to sleep on the bed. Faramir stayed awake in the chair by the fire, standing guard and listening out. Next door, Éowyn would be doing the same as Pippin and Merry slept. Frodo was so grateful to them, giving up the change to sleep in a bed for their sake. He moved closer to Sam and curled up pressing himself to his back. Sam sighed sleepily. Together, they drifted off to sleep.</p><p>§</p><p>Sam came gradually awake and let his eyes slip open. The room was quiet and dark and Frodo’s warmth was comfortingly pressed against his back. He could hear Faramir’s breath from the far corner where he must still be seated by the fire, standing guard over them. Sam sighed.</p><p>He was weary and his body needed more rest, and yet sleep was evaporating around him. He supposed the best he could do then would be to lie still and rest. The blankets were soft and the smell of the fire comforted him, and Frodo’s warmth felt good.</p><p>He was just about to close his eyes when he let his gaze wander up to the window. At first his weary mind stumbled over what he was seeing- blackness and light configured in a way that didn’t make sense. But then his senses came to him all at once and Sam gasped in fear.</p><p>Within the darkness beyond the window, he was looking into the face of a figure peering into the room with burning eyes.</p><p>It was watching him.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. The Dwimmerlaik</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam cried out, and jerked up, laying himself over Frodo.</p><p>“At the window!” he gasped through his fear. Faramir was up on his feet, rushing to get between them and the window. Under him, Frodo had come awake, and instinctually had grasped Sam tight. He was confused and afraid, but Sam couldn’t make himself do anything but lie over Frodo and tremble.</p><p><em>I’m not going to let him get stabbed. I can stop the blade at least, </em>Sam thought.</p><p>“He’s gone,” Faramir hissed, then bolted to the door. He picked up a sheathed short sword, propped by the door and tossed it onto the bed, then he rushed out into the hallway.</p><p>“Sam,” Frodo pushed at him. Sam reluctantly slid off, still trembling. Frodo cast a look at him, sitting up, then crawled to the foot of the bed, taking the sword.</p><p>“Oh!” Frodo cried, scrambling up and going to the door. Sam followed behind him, both of them running to Merry’s room. They found the door open and for a moment, Sam felt his heart skip. But then he caught sight of Faramir standing inside, and Éowyn next to him, and as he entered, Pippin and Merry blinking sleepily from the bed. Faramir glanced at him and Frodo as they entered, then turned once more going out to the hall.</p><p>“Stay with Éowyn,” he told them. Frodo nodded and took Sam’s hand, drawing him into the room and closed the door.</p><p>“What is happening?” Merry asked.</p><p>“I saw a Rider,” Sam whispered. The whole room went silent. Frodo moved to the bed, taking up a position at the front. Pippin crawled over to him and slipped the sheathed sword out of Frodo’s hands and set it across his knees, holding it at the ready.</p><p>They waited for more than a half hour, until finally Faramir’s steps could be heard in the hall. The door opened and he stepped inside.</p><p>“Nothing,” he said softly.</p><p>“What a relief,” Pippin sighed.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Frodo asked. Faramir came to stand near the fire, warming himself. He cast a glance at Sam.</p><p>“Are you certain it was a wraith?” he asked. Sam faltered.</p><p>“It was cloaked,” he said. “And it had horrible eyes. Or, maybe it just seemed to have horrible eyes.”</p><p>“But did it make you feel despair and sick?” Faramir asked. Sam paused.</p><p>“I don’t know. It was so fast. I could only think of… guarding against it,” he said.</p><p>“Do you not believe Sam?” Frodo asked Faramir, his voice a little cool. Faramir eased.</p><p>“It’s not that, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to interrogate you, Sam,” he said, “I did not find signs of a Rider in the town.”</p><p>“But someone or something was watching Sam through the window,” Frodo said. “That doesn’t bode well.”</p><p>“No,” Faramir said quietly.</p><p>§</p><p>They spent the rest of the night huddled together in Merry’s room. There wasn’t really enough room for four hobbits to sleep in the small bed, but they managed it. Merry and Pippin slept with their feet drawn up, while Frodo and Sam slept at the foot of the bed. Éowyn and Faramir positioned themselves on either side, swords at the ready. It was a long night, but nothing more happened.</p><p>In the morning they packed up quickly, paid for their room, and left before the sun broke over the treeline. Frodo was glad to be on the road, but the lingering fear of the previous night never left him. It felt now more than ever that they were being watched.</p><p>He was in the back of the cart with Merry, Éowyn, and Faramir. After sitting for a long while with his gloomy thoughts he slipped under the blankets with Merry.</p><p>“Oh, now I won’t be able to stay awake any longer,” Éowyn said, watching them. Frodo blinked at her.</p><p>“Then you’ve felt their magic too?” Faramir asked. Éowyn nodded.</p><p>“I have, and I’ve had to guard myself against it.”</p><p>“What magic is this?” Merry asked.</p><p>“You don’t know?” Faramir asked, amused.</p><p>“Usually the only magic we hobbits get accused of having is that we are easily overlooked,” Frodo said to him.</p><p>“Not that,” Faramir said, “I have learned how to keep an eye on you all, subtle though you may be.”</p><p>“Well! No one had ever called Pippin subtle before,” Merry said in an undertone to Frodo. Frodo snorted.</p><p>“So then, if it’s not overlooking us then what?”</p><p>“When you hobbits curl up together you put out some effect that will lull Men into sleep if they aren’t careful.”</p><p>“It reminds me of having a cat curled up in my lap, and how cozy and sleepy that makes me,” Éowyn said.</p><p>“How strange,” Merry said.</p><p>“Not a terribly good bit of magic if it stops our friends from keeping guard,” Frodo said, wincing.</p><p>“It can be overcome, once you know to be on the lookout,” Faramir said, “My men complained of it back when we first encountered you and Sam. You two sent a team of guards to sleep before we caught on.”</p><p>“Well,” Frodo said to Merry, “I’ll have to tell Sam that we could have used our magic to escape, had we known we had such powers.” Merry chuckled.</p><p>“You two have earned a long rest, so go on, sleep if you can.”</p><p>Faramir and Éowyn settled onto the other pallet and soon fell asleep. Merry also slipped into sleep. Frodo remained awake, listening to his friend’s breath, and worrying.</p><p>§</p><p>Pippin sat atop the cart, munching from a handkerchief of dried fruit and nuts. They had made good progress throughout the day and they’d found a sheltered spot to camp for the night, where the cart could not be spotted from the road. Even so, they were taking more precautions now. Pippin was up on the cart so that he could keep watch over the clearing and the woods beyond as Faramir and Éowyn saw to the pony. Inside the cart, Frodo and Sam were supposed to be getting food ready for their supper. There could be no fire, so it would be dried meat and hobbit rations.</p><p>“Darling,” Éowyn said below at the far end of the clearing. She approached Faramir and pressed herself to him, “I have need of you.”</p><p>“Mm. Have you?” Faramir said, and though he spoke quietly, Pippin's sharp ears caught his response. Éowyn kissed the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“I am aching and wet,” she said.</p><p><em>Oh I’m not supposed to be listening to this,</em> Pippin thought and turned himself away, trying to give them some privacy. Faramir took her by the hand and they retreated out into the woods.</p><p>They didn’t go very far, probably so that they could keep an eye on the cart. They ducked down into a small stand of bracken. Faramir took a seat with his back to a tree and Éowyn settled onto his lap. Pippin watched them out of the corner of his eye, then turned away again, trying to both give them privacy and keep a look out for trouble.</p><p>“Will you yield to me, love, give me what I crave?” Éowyn asked.</p><p>“Always. Come, seat yourself on this throne I’ve made for you, and see if that is to your liking,” Faramir teased.</p><p>Pippin wondered why they weren’t being a little quieter, until it occurred to him that they might very well be quiet enough to not be heard by Men’s ears, but they might not know how good a hobbit’s hearing was. Or, they might not pay much heed to the possibility of being overheard. This was a part of nature and there ought not to be shame in it.</p><p>Pippin sat quiet, keeping vigilant as soft sounds of lovemaking came from the woods. Though he felt bad about being an uninvited witness to their loving, all the same it was a comfort to him. Out here in the wild with danger around them, it felt like claiming back a bit of joy.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo hopped down from the cart, unpacking their small supper onto a low fold up table that they’d been using for meals. They’d set it up just outside the cart so that they could all gather together and eat, while letting Merry feel a part of everything.</p><p>Sam dangled his feet off the edge of the cart, chewing his way through a large bite of Faramir’s dried venison. Frodo smiled, glad that Sam seemed to have developed a taste for Mannish food. He gathered their empty buckets and walked to Faramir.</p><p>“I saw a creek as we were pulling off the road. It’s just a little ways back. Would you come with me?” Frodo asked. Faramir nodded and rose, following after him.</p><p>They were nearly to the creek when Faramir stepped closer to Frodo.</p><p>“We are being watched,” he said softly. Frodo gasped. “Keep walking and stay close." Frodo silently did as he was bid.</p><p>As Frodo walked he felt a creeping sensation of eyes on him. He looked out into the woods, but there was only darkness under the trees.</p><p>“Don’t look,” Faramir whispered.</p><p>“Sorry,” Frodo whispered back. He paused then said in a normal voice, “Have i told you, Sam likes that dried venison you gave him? Usually he only eats Mannish food to be polite or if he has need.”</p><p>“Is that so?” Faramir asked, sounding pleased. “I am glad.” There was a moment of silence, then Faramir bolted to the wood, pulling a knife and throwing it in among the shadows. Frodo drew in a gasp. There was an unearthly cry that made Frodo’s hair stand up. Faramir plunged into the woods, sword drawn, and Frodo ran after him, pulling out the phial. Past a thick row of trees a rocky outcrop rose at the base of the ridge. Frodo came near and slowed.</p><p>Faramir had backed the figure up against a large cluster of stones, corning a tall cloaked figure. It was a wispy thing, difficult to focus your gaze on. Frodo could make out no discernible face, but there were two glowing eyes.</p><p><em>This is what Sam saw last night,</em> Frodo thought.</p><p>“He’s not a Rider,” Frodo said softly. Faramir held his sword up, menacing the wispy figure.</p><p>“But it is a wraith,” Faramir said, “And I would wager, in the service of the Riders, though I do not know what manner of creature this is.”</p><p>“He is in service to them,” Frodo said softly, a feeling of knowledge dawning inside him. “He has been bent to their will.”</p><p>Faramir leapt forward and struck the figure. His sword made contact and the wraith screamed. Frodo gasped and gripped the phial as Faramir pressed the creature down. He hissed as Faramir stood over him, holding a sword on him. The creature stilled as the Prince of Ithilien drew back for the killing blow.</p><p>“Don’t,” Frodo said and stepped forward raising a hand. Faramir paused.</p><p>Frodo watched the creature and a burning pity rose in him. This creature is what he would have become, if the Morgul blade had penetrated his heart. It was the fate that he was desperately fighting to keep from falling on Merry.</p><p>This wraith was terrifying, but he was also some poor soul trapped and controlled by a cold shard of Morgul magic. Frodo knew all too well the pain and fear and the sinking horror of watching the world become a mist filled place as your own heart became ensnared by the will of the Nazgûl. It was a horror that no one should have to endure, and this poor wisp of a creature had endured it for Ages most likely.</p><p>“Frodo,” Faramir said quietly, “it is not safe. And it is a mercy to kill him as he is now.”</p><p>“We don’t need to kill him,” Frodo said. The phial blazed in his hand. He bent over the creature and reached out. He hissed at Frodo in a terrifying deathly voice, but Frodo didn’t flinch.</p><p>“You are not of Them,” he said and put his hand on the invisible cold flesh, “You have a will and voice of your own. It is still there, inside you. Let me help you find it again.” The creature stilled, the cold light of its eyes dimming. Warmth and power bloomed suddenly within Frodo and he felt it lift up out of him in a wave, spreading down to his hand and to the wraith.</p><p>For an instant, the invisible face and limbs came into focus and Frodo was looking down into the face of a thin dark haired man. His eyes were wide and he wept as he looked on Frodo.</p><p>“<em>Ve han,</em>” he said. In the next instant, he was gone. Faramir gasped as the cloak fell flat onto the ground, then burned with white fire until all that remained was a pile of light dust.</p><p>Frodo remained still for a long moment, distressed, then rose, tucking the phial into the leather holster at his belt.</p><p>“What happened? Did you free him?” Faramir asked.</p><p>“I don’t know how,” Frodo said, “but yes. I freed him. After that...” They were silent for a long moment. “Was he speaking in Sindarin?” Frodo asked, “It sounded like it, but…”</p><p>“It was, though in a dialect that has not been used since Arnor fell,” Faramir murmured, disconcerted. “I think, whatever body was left to him fell into dust when the wraith’s magic left him.”</p><p>“Do you know what he said?” Frodo asked. Faramir nodded.</p><p>“He said, <em>thank you.</em>”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Starlight and Sunlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo walked back to the cart. His whole body was still ringing with warmth and power and it made him feel a little dizzy. He wanted to think and feel and try to understand what had just happened. Looking into the eyes of a thousand year old victim of the Nazgûl had shaken him in ways he didn’t understand.</p><p>“Oh,” he said, suddenly struck by a thought and he raced ahead going to the cart and climbed up, ignoring Éowyn and Pippin and Sam’s greetings.</p><p>“Merry?” he called as he crawled over to the pallet.</p><p>“Yes?” Merry asked weakly.</p><p>“Let me try something? I think maybe I can…”</p><p>“Try then,” Merry said. Frodo touched his chest, as he had the wraiths, and he tried to call up the warm wave of power that had bloomed in him. He clasped the phial and bent his will to the task.</p><p>He could not bear for Merry to become like the wraith. His love for Merry touched the power inside him, igniting it up into a blaze. He heard gasps behind him but ignored them. The warmth rose as it had before and moved down his arms. Merry looked up at him, awed.</p><p>§</p><p>Sam stood with the others, watching at a distance as Frodo crouched next to Merry.</p><p>“He healed a wraith?” Pippin asked softly. Faramir nodded.</p><p>“And he’s trying to heal Mr. Merry the same way?” Sam said quietly.</p><p>“Can he?” Pippin asked. Faramir didn’t answer.</p><p>“Was the creature alone?” Éowyn asked.</p><p>“Yes,” Faramir said, “but if one of the Riders' servants is abroad, then I think it’s likely we may see more of them. Many Men fought the kingdom of Angmar here, and many fell to Morgul poison.”</p><p>“We call those creatures dwimmerlaik,” Éowyn said. “They are trouble, even in Rohan.”</p><p>There was a soft cry of disappointment from the cart and Faramir walked forward. Sam began to follow after, for it had been Frodo’s voice, but Pippin stopped him. Sam turned to look at him.</p><p>“Hold back a moment,” Pippin said quietly.</p><p>“But,” Sam murmured, the need to go to Frodo pulling at him.</p><p>“He’s just failed at something very important to him,” Pippin said gently, “You know how he is.” Sam stilled. He did know.</p><p>Frodo was climbing down from the cart wiping his cheeks and looking up at Faramir.</p><p>“I don’t understand,” he said wearily.</p><p>“For the wraith, you healed a damaged soul,” Faramir told him quietly. “Merry’s wound is still a flesh and blood matter. His heart remains whole.”</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo said in a small voice. He paused. "I'm sorry. I think that I want a bit of time. I’ll climb up on the cart and look at the stars for a while.” Sam sighed. Pippin had seen it correctly. Frodo needed time to think.</p><p>“As you like.”</p><p>Frodo got up into the driver's seat and climbed the few steps up onto the top of the wide flat cart. Sam glanced up at the sky. Twilight was deepening and early stars were already burning in a clear sky. At least, he reflected, Frodo would have a pretty sky to get lost in.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo lay on his back, observing the heavens above. He could hear the others speaking quietly below, until their voices quieted and silence fell. The cart door was closed.</p><p>The night deepened and still Frodo lay on the cart. At last, he heard sounds of someone climbing up. He lifted his head to see Sam’s face peeking over the top.</p><p>“Hello,” he said quietly.</p><p>“Hello,” Frodo replied.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Sam asked him. Frodo nodded.</p><p>“I am. I just have a lot to think about.” He paused. “Do you want to come and lie up here with me?”</p><p>“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be alone,” Sam said shyly. Frodo sat up and reached out for him.</p><p>“Come,” he said. Sam climbed the rest of the way up and took Frodo’s hand. They settled in together. Minutes of blessed silence passed and Frodo drifted, enthralled by the sky.</p><p>“Did Faramir tell you what happened?” he asked softly.</p><p>“He did,” Sam answered.</p><p>“I should have known better than to get my hopes up,” Frodo whispered. Sam didn’t answer for a moment.</p><p>“Ah, but it’s only natural to have hoped,” he said. “Don’t let that blot out what you <em>were </em>able to do. You saved that poor Man. And just cause you couldn’t save Mr. Merry yet, don’t mean you won’t.”</p><p>Frodo took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then let it out slowly. He drifted in the sky in silence, allowing Sam’s reassuring words sink into him. A soft calm descended over him.</p><p>“Thank you,” Frodo whispered.</p><p>“Always,” Sam whispered back. Silence fell again, but it was warm and gentle now. Frodo’s calm grew.</p><p>“Last night,” he said after a time, “You put yourself between me and the wraith. I never thanked you.”</p><p>“You don’t need to thank me for that,” Sam murmured. Frodo put his hand over Sam’s.</p><p>“You are so brave and selfless. But do try and remember that I am wearing a mithril shirt and you are not.”</p><p>Sam stilled, then rose up on his elbows and put his arm across Frodo’s chest, gazing down into his face. Frodo blinked up at him. It felt good to have Sam leaning across him like this.</p><p>“Oh.” Sam sighed, “I reckon I’m in for a scolding.”</p><p>“No, I won’t scold you,” Frodo said and raised a hand to stroke the curls framing Sam’s face. “I only want to remind you that you are worth protecting too.”</p><p>Sam let his eyes slip shut, stilling as Frodo touched him tenderly. Frodo wanted suddenly to lift himself up and kiss Sam. Or, he thought, if only Sam would lean down and kiss him. He held himself still, afraid of just how much he wanted it.</p><p><em>What am I thinking of?</em> he asked himself, <em>I can’t do such a thing. I love him but I can’t…</em> Resolutely, he pushed the feeling away. He would need to ponder this later.</p><p>“You amaze me,” Sam said softly. Frodo was about to answer with a joke, but the faint buzz of power that still hummed within him suddenly dipped down and touched something that felt like memory, illuminating it.</p><p>Frodo lay as he did now, with Sam leaning over him, but in the memory, there were ferns around them and sunlight falling down through the fur trees above.</p><p>Frodo blinked, coming back to the present. There was starlight in Sam’s hair.</p><p>“You looked at that poor creature and saw someone worth saving.”</p><p>“There is some good in him,” Frodo said, falling back into memory, “I don’t know if the good will win in the end, but we need him either way.”</p><p>“I know,” Sam said brushing a fern out of his face, sunlight reflecting in his eyes, “I tried to promise him some of my taters but he wasn’t interested.”</p><p>“He was a man, in the end, just like many of our friends,” Frodo said softly as the stars wheeled above. “I can’t imagine his pain, enduring for ages, alone and ruled by such hideous power.”</p><p>“You’re right. I know he’s not had a nice life. And I suppose I can try and be nicer to him,” Sam said. “But that don’t mean I won’t keep a sharp eye on him.”</p><p>“I think we had better both do that,” Frodo said and Sam smiled down at him as sun light sparkled above.</p><p>“Ah, enough talk of him, how was your rest?”</p><p>“I feel much better. Stronger than I have any right to,” Frodo said.</p><p>“You look well,” Sam murmured shyly, “and it makes me that happy to see you take rest. A good rest.”</p><p>“I can rest like that because I know you are there to look after me when I sleep. How lucky I am, to have someone who loves me as you do,” Frodo said gently. Sam’s cheeks went red but even so, he cuddled closer. Frodo stroked his hair. “You know that I love you too, Sam.” Sam let out a soft murmur of pleasure and tucked his cheek down to Frodo’s chest. They paused for a moment, then Sam lifted his face and kissed Frodo’s cheek. Frodo turned to gaze into his eyes and they shared a look between them. Sam was weeping a little, but for once, his tears were tears of joy.</p><p>“I’m glad he was free of it in the end.”</p><p>Frodo blinked as the sunlit glad fell away and he was on top of the cart once more, on his back, with Sam’s head on his chest, peering at him.</p><p>“Me too,” Frodo said. Sam blinked and reached up, touching his cheek and forehead.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>“I think so,” Frodo said slowly, “I’m not sure.”</p><p>“Maybe you should get inside the cart and take rest,” Sam said. Frodo knew he had the right idea, but he didn’t want to go to sleep. Not yet.</p><p>“I want to look at the stars some more.”</p><p>He half expected Sam to scold him, but Sam didn’t. He only hummed and moved, curling himself around Frodo.</p><p>“Then I’ll keep you warm.”</p><p>Frodo felt for a moment like crying but he didn’t. He only set a hand on Sam’s arm, rubbing gently in thanks.</p><p>He looked up at the stars and gradually, he lost himself in that sparkling void.</p><p>§</p><p>“You won’t let Éowyn and Faramir stay up all night again will you?” Merry asked softly. Pippin shook his head as he took a seat by Merry.</p><p>“They’re just checking around the surrounding woods. Once they return, I’ll go out and keep watch. Sam said he’d watch until then.”</p><p>“He wants to talk to Frodo.”</p><p>“That’s my guess,” Pippin murmured.</p><p>“What are we going to do with them?” Merry asked. Pippin laughed and his laughter was like the ringing of soft bells around them. It gave Merry strength.</p><p>“What was our scheme? We were going to send them out to that Brandybuck retreat in the hills around Lake Evendim?”</p><p>“Never fails. It’s the most romantic place in all the Shire and all of Buckland,” Merry said weakly. Pippin sighed and reached down to ruffle Merry’s curls.</p><p>“You have to survive this,” he said softly, “I can’t come up with plots for our mischief like you can. I need you.”</p><p>“I need you too, Pip,” Merry said, “I couldn’t carry off half my plans without you.”</p><p>“It’s decided then,” Pippin said quietly, “you’re surviving this.”</p><p>“If you say so,” Merry smiled. But even as he said it, he could hear the soft voices of wraiths, calling to him. Though the voices were soft and distant, they cut in him like their cold knives, drawing his heart to their will. They had a plan for him. He was going to die. Already his vision was clouded by their mist and his body was always cold now.</p><p>Merry took a breath and reached out of his blankets, taking Pippin’s hand. He meant it as an act of defiance, but it was really an act of desperation. He needed a life line.</p><p>“They won’t take you,” Pippin said softly, “I won’t let them. I found you once on death’s door and I took care of you then, remember? I’ll take care of you again, and I’ll protect you too.”</p><p>“Thank you, Pippin,” Merry said. Pippin leaned down and kissed his head.</p><p>“Rest,” Pippin said softly.</p><p>“Yes,” Merry murmured back. Slowly, he drifted off to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. The Revelation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo gazed at the stars and felt his heart open. The weight of the strong feeling stirred, then fell on him, burning the way it always did, but now burning hotter.</p><p>Something had changed.</p><p>Frodo trembled, afraid of it, and almost pushed it back, but he remembered that Gandalf said it was alright to feel this thing. It was a part of him and he could bear this. A bolt of scalding emotion burned suddenly bright within him.</p><p>
  <em>Isn’t this…</em>
</p><p>It came to him then, sure and defined and sparking.</p><p>
  <em>I know this.</em>
</p><p>The Ring had bent its entire force to crush this out. Even back then, he remembered his heart fighting it and so there were bits of clear memories, of Sam’s hands holding his own to warm them while they froze on a mountain side, Sam curling up in his arms in Lorien exhausted from grief, the pair of them alone in the Emyn Muil crouched together under a tangle of roots as they gazed into each other’s eyes, Sam bravely raising the phial to push back the dark weight of the Watchers crushing gaze. His heart had burned in those moments, as clear and bright as the phial.</p><p>
  <em>Oh. It’s love. </em>
</p><p>The flashes of memory came faster now, each with more force and more clarity. Frodo had woken in Rivendell and found Sam lying beside him, holding his hand. In the dark land they had huddled together under the dense thorn tangle and as Sam told his tale of the tower Frodo drew Sam into his arms as best he could, heart aching for Sam’s hardships. And then just before the fire and pain and blinding horror, there had been a small moment of clarity as he lay on the hard earth and gazed into Sam’s eyes as Sam held him close, keeping him warm on that last night. Sam had kissed his head and sung to him, a song of the home that he could no longer see. He remembered wishing with all his heart that Sam might be spared when the end came.</p><p>
  <em>I was engulfed in the Ring’s spell, and even so, I was falling in love with him.</em>
</p><p><em>How long has this lived in my heart? </em>Frodo wondered. The Ring had altered his perceptions, and even his heart and he knew he hadn’t always been aware of It’s work.</p><p>
  <em>It made me forget. It burned up every joy in my heart. It took so much from me. Because It could not bear the threat of such a great love within me.</em>
</p><p>Through most of their journey, It had not been able to entirely vanquish love in his heart. but in moments of weakness, It had come very close. It was only at the end that It had succeeded, when he had been entirely consumed with the Ring’s power and the desire to possess It. He had no love then for Sam, or himself, or the entire world.</p><p>He purposefully let that horror go, not allowing himself to spiral down into it. He had been pondering something else, hadn’t he?</p><p>Yes, Sam.</p><p>
  <em>Try as It might, It could only bury the newest most fragile part of my love- particularly my new feelings for Sam. It pushed those feelings down, stole my memories of the most tender moments, and hurt me so badly that I haven't been able to find them since. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But it has not burned that love out of my heart. And what memories it took are still inside me, even if I can’t recall them. If they were gone, then that memory of Ithilien would not have come to me just now. </em>
</p><p>It made him wonder what other memories were still buried within him and he hoped he had never done anything to hurt Sam, by forgetting those memories.</p><p>After the journey, when he was walking in that dream, his heart had grasped at old gentle love for Sam. There was plenty of it and it ran deep and it was true and good. It was enough to build a familiar happy relationship with him.</p><p>But there was so much more.</p><p>
  <em>That forgotten love was there, with me through it all, just outside my conscious thought, but there to guide me when I needed it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My heart knew that I ached to make a home with him. My heart knew that I wanted to share my life with him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Ring failed in all of it! It may have taken my memories, made me forget what was growing in my heart, but I’ve just fallen in love with him again in the time since! </em>
</p><p>He’d looked into Sam’s shining eyes from across their dinner table as they ate together, eased Sam when he became overwhelmed by work, and kissed, teased and tussled with him to show Sam how much he loved him. He’d fought the Rider with him, cared for him in the time since, and watched over him. There had been moments of tenderness and happiness and even a few moments of heat.</p><p>The small moments of heat were swept away now by something much deeper, much more wild. The love that fell out of his heart now that the dam was breaking, was not gentle. It smote him where he lay and made him tremble. Frodo gasped and put a hand to his mouth, tears rolling down his cheeks.</p><p><em>New and old at the same time,</em> he thought and wondered if he could bear the force of it all. Frodo cried, and cried in a way he hadn’t in years.</p><p>“Frodo?”</p><p>Sam had woken and he looked alarmed by Frodo’s tears. He rose up, touching his face.</p><p>“It’s alright,” Frodo assured him. But Sam was hugging him around his shoulder, looking worried. “I’m having a cry. I’m feeling too much. I’m not sad. It’s the opposite, really.” Sam peered at him.</p><p>“Can I cuddle you, all the same?”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo said, smiling as Sam pulled him into his arms and fit Frodo’s face down against his neck. Sam rubbed his back.</p><p>“You cry then.”</p><p>Frodo took a breath and put his arms around Sam, holding him tight. Inside him, the light of this revelation grew and burned, and it was like a bit of the Ring’s poisoned fire burned away with it.</p><p>“Frodo,” Sam said. Frodo opened his eyes and blinked, confused. Sam’s face was illuminated.</p><p>“Mm?” he frowned, not understanding what he was seeing. “Where’s that light coming in from?” he asked looking around. Sam laughed, but his voice was soft and awed.</p><p>“It’s coming from you.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Frodo asked, glancing down at himself. He didn’t see a light source, and yet, Sam’s face and shoulders and hands were all lit in soft warm light.</p><p>“You can’t see it?”</p><p>“I only see you,” Frodo said slowly. Sam’s gazed at him, still awestruck. “Sam?”</p><p>“It’s alright. I’ve seen this light before, though not as clear as this.”</p><p>“What is it?” Frodo asked. Sam was thoughtful for a long moment.</p><p>“I don’t know. But it’s you,” Sam marveled a moment more then sat up, alarmed. “You’re awful bright, if you don’t mind me saying.” Frodo gasped. They hadn’t built a fire to keep their position hidden, but here he was, lit up like a beacon.</p><p>“I don’t know how to stop!” Frodo cried and scrambled down from the cart top. Sam was there behind him, tugging off his jacket to throw over Frodo as they both moved down to the driver's seat and then to the ground. They went to the back and Sam opened the doors, helping Frodo up then climbed up himself and shut the doors tight behind them.</p><p>“What?” Pippin sat up staring. “Frodo?”</p><p>“I don’t know!” Frodo cried.</p><p>“I’ll keep watch till Faramir and Éowyn are back,” Sam said, moving to the door. Frodo watched him slip out and close the door. There was silence in the cart for a long moment, the three hobbits listening to Sam walk around the cart, his footsteps a little frantic.</p><p>“What did you do?” Merry asked Frodo.</p><p>“I didn’t do anything,” Frodo said. His cousins stared at him.</p><p>“Really?” Merry asked suspiciously. “No mysterious magic things?”</p><p>“No,” Frodo said, still flustered and alarmed by the strange light illuminating the walls around them. Merry paused.</p><p>“I don’t believe you,” he said. “Come on Frodo! Nothing at all happened?” Frodo rubbed his cheek and frowned.</p><p>“Well. Just sort of... remembered something I'd forgotten. From back on the journey. That’s all really.”</p><p>“Yes?” Pippin asked curiously.</p><p>“Something that I think the Ring made me forget.”</p><p>Pippin leaned forward frowning, then lifted his hands. He hooked his thumbs together and, using the light radiating from Frodo, began making shadow puppets on the wall in front of them.</p><p>Merry laughed.</p><p>“Pippin,” Frodo said dryly. Even though he was pretending to be annoyed, he was really grateful. Here he was, glowing like an elf, and instead of being treated like some holy creature, his cousins were being rude and making a joke of it all- and they were doing it to ease him.</p><p>“So what did the Ring make you forget?” Pippin asked.</p><p>“Good memories,” Frodo said quietly. Merry snorted.</p><p>“You’re really not going to tell us?” he asked. “You know what will happen. Pippin will just assume it’s naughty.”</p><p>“Absolutely,” Pippin said as one of his shadow puppets began to eat the other one.</p><p>“Pippin can do what he wants.”</p><p>“Can I have that in writing?” Pippin asked. Frodo burst out laughing.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>§</p><p>The light had faded away over the course of about half an hour. By the time Faramir and Éowyn returned to the cart, the light had gone completely. No one was sure what to make of it, and Frodo decided that he should try and get some rest.</p><p>Sam and Pippin were taking their turns on watch duty while Éowyn and Faramir slept under the cart on their bed rolls. They’d offered them a place in the cart, but there wasn’t enough room for Faramir. Éowyn might have fit, but she had opted to sleep with her husband.</p><p>Frodo lay still curled up under the thick blankets with Merry, and felt his thoughts drift back to the revelation he’d had earlier in the evening.</p><p>His euphoria had faded. As monumental and wonderful as this all was, Frodo knew that while he might feel these things, Sam surely did not. At least, not entirely.</p><p><em>He treasures me, loves me to a depth that cannot be measured, but he does not want… Well, what exactly?</em> Frodo felt his cheeks go hot, suddenly overcome with one last memory- one that had drifted up.</p><p>Something had happened in Lorien, that drew them closer so that they only wanted to be with one another. Sam had moved their bed rolls together and Frodo always spoke up if someone tried to make Sam leave his side. He would hold Sam’s hand, or hook his elbow around Sam’s to make it clear they would not be separated. Sam had always given him glowing grateful looks.</p><p>One afternoon, they had walked out together into the soft green woodlands of Lorien, just the two of them. It was like a dream even back then, golden flowers falling around them with a deep blue sky above. They’d rested by a small bubbling waterfall and Sam had fallen asleep, his head on Frodo’s shoulder. Frodo had lay there, overcome by beauty and warmth and love, until those feelings slipped into a sultry heat inside him and he felt his flesh stirr in want. His heart and his body told him to wake Sam and draw him into a kiss. His hands wanted to stroke Sam’s soft warm skin and make him shiver and blush. And his cock ached to rub and press and rut. He remembered holding himself still, amazed at the strength of his lust and love.</p><p>He had not moved and after Sam woke, he had not done anything to show Sam his feelings. He was afraid of them, and more afraid of irrevocably hurting Sam with those feelings.</p><p>Even if by some small chance Sam returned his affections, he would still hurt him- because he knew he would leave the Fellowship. He would have to set out on his own at some point, and he was afraid that the time was growing near. It hurt his heart that he would have to leave Sam too. How much worse would leaving him be if they grew even closer?</p><p>So he’d kept it locked away. He’d kept it secret and safe even after they set off together, because now they only had one another to rely on, and their lives depended on the firm familiar love between them. What if he damaged it and it led to Sam’s death? Or his own?</p><p><em>But what about now?</em> Frodo asked himself.</p><p>He found that he didn’t have an answer.</p><p>§</p><p>Merry lay quiet, listening to Frodo's breath as he slept beside him. He winced, squirming a little, trying to work some warmth into his limbs. It hurt to use the muscles in his chest and so after a particularly sharp pain, he stilled, resigning himself to be cold. He could have woken Frodo and asked him to move closer, but he was already under the blankets with him, and he doubted he’d get much warmer, even if they were pressed close.</p><p>And he was beginning to feel sleepy, at least.</p><p>He lay as time passed around him, and slowly the coldness and the sleepiness deepened. Merry let his thoughts fade away, glad that sleep was coming.</p><p>But it never came, at least not in the usual way. Merry hung between wakefulness and sleep, caught and bewildered. The cold deepened and something inside him shifted. Merry watched as the cart filled with mist, and edges went soft and burned with a silent cold fire. Worse, voices from the night grew in his ears, whispering in some strange language.</p><p>Merry gasped and jerked out of the vision. His side burned in pain from the jolt, but Merry didn’t care. His heart was racing.</p><p>The place he’d just pulled himself out of matched Frodo’s description of the strange wraith world he’d been drawn into by their poison and by the Ring.</p><p>Merry had slipped into the Unseen.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. When the Rain Comes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It rained in the morning, and it was chilly. Frodo sat at the back of the cart, wet and cold and unhappy. He wished they could build a fire and get Merry properly warm. He peered through the rain looking out over the countryside. They’d stopped briefly at the top of this hill so that Faramir and Éowyn could have a look. Frodo had meant to be out there with them, helping them decide about how much longer they had to go, but they didn’t really need him. </p><p>And they all had a pretty good idea where they were now.  Frodo stared out at the ugly ruined lump rising above the trees in the distance. They would be passing in the shadow of Weathertop soon and his shoulder was already aching. He stared at the outline of Weathertop and felt a grim despair settle over him. </p><p>§</p><p>Frodo worked that morning to clean Merry’s wound but he could only make a small amount of warm water, using a ceramic basin set over the oil lamp. It was warm enough to steep athletes but not much more.</p><p>Éowyn  was curled around Merry’s back, holding him against her chest to share warmth. She had fallen asleep as Frodo worked, wrapping the wound in fresh bandages. He said his healing verses and lay down as well, pressing close to Merry. </p><p>“Any better?” he asked. Merry blinked sleepily at him.</p><p>“Mmhm,” he said. </p><p>“But you’ve still shivering,” Frodo sighed.</p><p>“It’s just cold. I can handle that,” Merry murmured. Frodo slipped his arms around Merry, still unhappy. Neither spoke for a long while.</p><p>Minutes passed as they rolled along and Frodo was soon lulled into a doze. He lay still, and let his eyes close, then opened them slowly. The world around him was moving, soft mist twisting around their huddle. All the edges were flickering and burning and soft. Frodo gasped and jerked but the vision did not fade. He stared around him, dazed and frightened, reaching for the phial. It was there, but no light and no power answered his call. </p><p>“Frodo?”</p><p>Frodo twisted back and found Merry was still at his side, blinking at him. Éowyn  behind him was a shadowy figure, but Merry was much more solid and his eyes were focused on Frodo. </p><p>“Oh, Frodo no!” Merry gasped, “what have I done?” Frodo was too confused to answer. A moment later the mist fell away and they were back into the dim cart, both hobbits holding onto one another, afraid. </p><p>“That… That was,” Frodo stammered. He was shaking. That place was where the Ring took him. That place was where his will had been tested at Amon Hen, and that place was where he’d been stabbed.</p><p>Merry pushed him away. </p><p>“I slipped into that cursed place last night too.”</p><p>“Merry!”</p><p>“I’m sorry. I should have said,” Merry said softly. “I hoped it was a dream.” He put his hand to his mouth, adding, “Oh Frodo, how is this possible? How could you go there as well?”</p><p> “I’m connected to that place,” Frodo said slowly and touched his shoulder. “by the Morgul poison still in my body.”</p><p>“And when I was drawn into that realm, I pulled you in as well?”</p><p>“Maybe so.”</p><p>“Then you must stay away from me,” Merry said quietly. Frodo felt a stab of unhappiness, but nodded.</p><p>§</p><p>The cart slowed and after a few moments, the back door opened and Pippin climbed up, his curls dripping. Merry gazed down at him.</p><p>“What’s happening?” he asked, wanting a distraction.</p><p>“Morning rest for Sweet Pea,” Pippin said cheerfully. “And Pippin’s second breakfast.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>“Sam and Faramir are going for a little hunting,” Pippin added, going to the food bag.</p><p>“In the rain?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“It’s not raining too much now,” Pippin said, “but Faramir reckons it will get heavier as the day goes on. They want to do what they can.”</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo said glumly. Merry glanced at him. </p><p>“Are you hungry Frodo?” he asked.</p><p>“No. You?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“No,” Merry sighed. </p><p>“What’s wrong with the pair of you? No appetite and very gloomy,” Pippin said around a mouthful of bread and cheese.</p><p>“I slipped into the wraith realm,” Merry said quietly, “and pulled Frodo in with me.” Pippin froze, eyes widening.</p><p>“What?” he gasped, looking stricken. “But you got out and if it happens again, you’ll be able to get out, right?”</p><p>“I hope so,” Merry said. Frodo stayed silent, but he looked close to tears. “Listen, it’s no use getting down about it,” Merry said, trying to put cheer in his voice, “we’re almost to Rivendell.” Pippin gazed at him thoughtfully, then turned to look at Frodo. Merry could almost feel Pippin’s plot aligning with his own. They were going to cheer Frodo up. “Frodo?” Merry said quietly. Frodo glanced up. “Tell your favorite cousin some gossip,” he said with a smile. </p><p>“Oh very nice,” Pippin muttered.</p><p>Frodo snorted but his heart wasn’t in it.</p><p>“You think you’re my favorite cousin?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“What gossip do you want?” </p><p>“I don’t know. Something funny?” Merry asked, trying to keep the pleading out of his voice. Frodo paused.</p><p>“Sorry. I can’t think of anything.”</p><p>“Well, here’s some news,” Pippin said brightly, “Faramir says we’re only a few days from Trollshawl!”</p><p>“Ug. For someone who almost died under a troll, you’re awfully cheerful,” Merry said. </p><p>“I had a good sleep.”</p><p>“Better than me, then,” Merry said.</p><p>“Yes, you’ve had to lay there, kept awake by Frodo and Sam flirting and trading pillow talk half the night,” Pippin chuckled. Merry snorted. Frodo stared at them silent. </p><p>“Ah, Frodo?” Merry began, sensing they’d gone too far.</p><p>“Don’t,” Frodo said quietly. Pippin turned to look at him. </p><p>“Don’t what?”</p><p>“Don’t treat us like a couple,” Frodo said in a quiet hard voice. “We aren’t.” Pippin and Merry fell silent.</p><p>“Alright Frodo, we won’t,” Merry said gently. “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to hurt you.”</p><p>They sat in silence for a moment more, then Pippin moved over to cuddle Frodo. Frodo eased and put his arm around Pippin. Merry reached out, extending his fingers. Frodo reached out to hold his hand, for a brief touch, then drew away. </p><p>“Frodo,” Merry whispered, “can we help?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“I mean that if you need to talk to someone, you know we’ll always listen to you.”</p><p>“Could even give Sam a few nudges if need be?” Pippin said, brightening. Frodo looked alarmed.</p><p>“Pippin, no.”</p><p>“I can be subtle,” Pippin protested. </p><p>“This is very kind of you both, but no.” Frodo was silent for a long moment, before glancing up at the latched window above their heads.</p><p>“Faramir and Sam are still out hunting,” Pippin said. Frodo sighed.</p><p>“You want the truth of it? Yes, I love him like that, but he cannot know about it,” he whispered to them, “it’s very unlikely that he could love me in the same way and I don’t think I have the strength to tell him or face him afterwards.”</p><p>“You think Sam doesn’t desire you?” Merry snorted.</p><p>“I can’t imagine him doing so,” Frodo said hesitantly, “And even if he did, there are others he surely desires more,” Frodo said softly, “I remember many nights late at the pub listening to him swoon over his sweetheart.”</p><p>“But that was years ago,” Pippin frowned.</p><p>“Have you forgotten that he said he will not marry Rosie Cotton?” Merry asked.</p><p>“Yes, and <em>I wonder why that is,</em>” Pippin said rolling his eyes.</p><p>“Because something in his heart was hurt,” Frodo said, “and maybe, if I am strong enough, I can heal him, and make things right. Maybe then he can take hold of that future that he wanted so.”</p><p>“Oh stars!” Pippin huffed. Frodo glowered at him.</p><p>“I’m not going to let him settle for me.”</p><p>Merry and Pippin stared at him.</p><p>“Frodo, you dumbass,” Merry breathed. Frodo looked stung. “I don’t mean to hurt you, but you’ve talked yourself into something very foolish.”</p><p>“I admit, I am having a hard time with sorting this out,” Frodo said, “it’s all come on so suddenly, but the more I’ve thought on it the more certain I am.”</p><p>“Sam isn’t hurt,” Pippin said in a hard voice that surprised Merry and Frodo. He looked uncommonly serious. “He made a choice, Frodo. He chose you and he didn’t do it because something is hurt inside him. Don’t think like that. You’ll only be making yourself suffer and making him suffer. I’ve spent a lot of time with Sam these past two years and don’t you tell me that he doesn’t want a future with you. He does.” Frodo looked very uncomfortable.</p><p>“You really can’t believe enough in yourself to think that Sam could be in love with you too?” Merry asked. Frodo leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. He didn’t answer. </p><p>“You three certainly are loud when you argue,” Éowyn said, groggily as she sat up. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Frodo said sternly. Éowyn blinked at him.</p><p>“How much did you hear?” Pippin asked curiously.</p><p>“Something about love matters,” she said, “I apologize- I’ll not pry.”</p><p>“I’m sorry we woke you,” Frodo said, subdued. Merry squinted at him, still petulant. He turned to Éowyn .</p><p>“My friend, you seem to be very much in love. Tell me, having settled for a prince when your heart was set on a king- does that still bother you?”</p><p>Frodo jerked up and stared at Merry in disbelief. Merry ignored him and gazed at Éowyn. She did not look at all pleased with his question and a storm was growing in her eyes. Merry did not withdraw the question though, only waited. Sure enough, Éowyn’s glower faded and she peered at him. Then, she looked at Frodo. She frowned and turned back to Merry. </p><p>“You are a little shit, Merry Brandybuck,” she said. </p><p>“Fair enough,” Merry laughed. “On both counts.”</p><p>“How often has his wit saved him from a beating?” Éowyn asked Frodo.</p><p>“Countless times,” Frodo said flatly. </p><p>“Well, I’ll answer you,” she said to Merry, “but only because I know you’re gaming with me.” Éowyn paused for a long moment, considering her answer. When she began to speak again, her voice was thoughtful and soft. “I thought that I loved a king,” she said slowly, “but really I loved the idea of him and the idea of the future with him. I did not know the man as I ought to have for a love pledge. He was a good man, and there is love for him still in my heart, but it is a pale thing held next to the love for my Faramir.” She paused, “that love grew from time together, learning one another. We stood together at the end of the world and watched a dark cloud fall over all of the lands, and still we stood together, facing it. That love has only grown stronger since. And I love the man as he is, not as he might be or some dream I’ve made of him.” She trailed off, then fixed Merry in her gaze. “Have I answered you, gremlin?”</p><p>“Yes,” Merry laughed. “And I beg your forgiveness.”</p><p>“When you are feeling better, I’ll have my revenge,” Éowyn promised and though she tried to look stern, Merry could see a smile hovering around her expression. </p><p>“Oh, have mercy on a poor hobbit, too witless to know that he was offending his dear friend,” Merry said. Éowyn gave up her sternness and smiled, as she drew him into her arms. </p><p>“Still your tongue you little beast, lest you offend me further,” she said, kissing his head. </p><p>“Yes, my Lady,” Merry murmured, loving her. Merry turned his gaze to Frodo, who still sat with his back against the cart wall. Their eyes met briefly before Frodo dropped his gaze, his cheeks red. </p><p>§</p><p>“You’re lucky you’re injured,” Pippin laughed softly. He and Merry were alone in the cart. Sam and Faramir had returned and Frodo and Éowyn had gone out to help them pluck the goose they’d shot. “Otherwise I think Éowyn and Frodo both might have attacked you,” Pippin said. Merry laughed. “Good job though.”</p><p>“I hope so,” he sighed, “Frodo dwells on things and has gotten into the habit of ignoring his own needs, I’m afraid. I’m not going to let him talk himself into heartache. Not if I can help it.”</p><p>“I think you gave him a few nudges in the right direction. Or, at least, a few other points to consider,” Pippin said. “He needs to spend some quiet alone time with Sam.”</p><p>“Hm. Can we arrange that?”</p><p>“Oh I think so,” Pippin brightened.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Lay down Troubles at the Roadside</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam held Sweet Pea’s reins and guided her along the muddy road. He’d pulled out the canvas cover and set up the fold out overhang which shielded the driver’s bench from rain and sun. He’d been concerned about Sweet Pea, for some ponies hated rain, but she seemed to relish the mud and wet, as long as Sam stopped periodically and wiped her face, cooed to her and fed her.</p><p>Faramir had ridden with him during the morning and they’d had a nice talk. Sam was finding that he liked Faramir’s gentle quiet ways. He knew the Man was very learned and a fierce leader of his people, but in all their talking he never made Sam feel small or stupid. He chose topics that Sam was interested in, and listened when Sam excitedly talked about the beans he was growing, and his experiments in making <em>athelas </em>tinctures.</p><p>Despite Sam’s enjoyment of their talk, he became aware of a creeping unease which grew through the morning. It felt like there were eyes on him. Sam sank into silence a few times and glanced furtively around. He didn’t see anything nor hear anything, and his heart was untouched by wraith chill.</p><p><em>Don’t go being silly,</em> he told himself. <em>It's just my old fear getting the better of me again.</em> <em>If there was something to be worried about, Mr. Faramir would have sussed it out. He’s much better at that sort of thing than I am. If he don’t feel nothing’s wrong then there’s nothing wrong. It’s just my worried head.</em></p><p>As the afternoon came and grew older, Faramir finally retreated to the back of the cart, promising to send someone up to sit with Sam. Sam sat on the bench, listening once more to the woods around them, but all he could hear were raindrops.</p><p>Behind him, the little window was pulled shut with a snap. Sam turned, frowning and knocked. The window opened again and Pippin blinked at him.</p><p>“What are you up to, Mr. Took?” Sam asked him. He could tell from Pippin’s eyes that he was smiling.</p><p>“Frodo’s coming out. I'm closing the window to give you two privacy,” he whispered. Sam stayed silent, hearing someone climbing down from the back. He and Pippin shared a look. “Just knock if there’s trouble,” Pippin whispered and closed the little window once more. Sam turned back to the front.</p><p>There were a few short squelching footfalls on the mud and then Frodo appeared around the cart side, climbing up to sit on the bench.</p><p>“Hello,” Sam said, brightening.</p><p>“Hello,” Frodo said smiling only faintly. “Would you like for me to drive?”</p><p>“No, that’s alright. I can go a bit more,” Sam said, eager to sit with Frodo.</p><p>“I’ve been exiled from the cart apparently,” Frodo noted dryly.</p><p>“Why’s that?” Sam asked as he guided Sweet Pea back onto the road and they resumed the drive.</p><p>“I’ve been in a foul mood all day,” Frodo said softly. “And I think they got tired of me.” He sighed, adding, “Everything seems so grim.”</p><p>“Ah, no wonder with it raining so,” Sam said gently.</p><p>“Mm,” Frodo groused wordlessly, gazing out into gray misty countryside passing around them. Sam watched him from the corner of his eye. He’d seen Frodo in foul moods. This seemed to be something more.</p><p>“Can’t help that we’re near old Weathertop either,” he said. Frodo nodded.</p><p>“Just seeing it this morning set me off - I think it’s at the root of what I’m feeling. It suddenly seemed to me that nothing can come out well.”</p><p>“You know that’s not true don’t you?”</p><p>“I suppose,” Frodo said without enthusiasm. He glanced behind him, noting that the window was closed. Sam thought he might comment but Frodo didn’t. Instead he shifted his attention to the north, glaring at the distant shape of Weathertop as it emerged from the trees. “I hate it,” he said quietly, “I know it’s only a pile of ruins on a hill, but to me it can only ever be a foul reminder.” Sam nodded sympathetically. For him Weathertop was much the same- a place swirling with bad memories of Frodo’s pain and near death. “All I see when I look at that shape is a reminder of my first failure to the Ring,” Frodo said. Sam turned to him, surprised. His surprise faded quickly though. He gazed off into the distance, reaching for wisdom.</p><p>“You know where I stand on this sort of thing,” he said. Frodo was silent.</p><p>“I can’t help what I feel,” he said at last. Sam closed his eyes.</p><p>“If it had been me in your place, up there on Weathertop,” Sam said slowly, “If those Things attacked and broke my will and I had put the Ring on, would you be sitting here calling me a failure?” he asked. Frodo didn’t look at him, but he was listening intently. “After all, I wouldn’t have been strong enough and I’d a got broken down and it could have meant everyone getting killed. I’d deserve the worst kind of scorn from you, wouldn’t I?” Sam kept his words soft but insistent. Frodo didn’t answer. “But you’d not be so cruel to me, would you? You’d give me forgiveness and understanding. Can’t you give a bit of that to yourself, my dear?”</p><p>Frodo didn’t answer but he wiped a tear away. Sam wanted very badly to put his arms around Frodo, but he held back. This was important and he needed to stick to this.</p><p>“And there is the small matter that you didn’t fail- not in the end. You had that cursed Thing on you and those Riders were all about you and you still cried out for the blessing of Elbereth. You saved yourself and all of us by doing that, you know. That’s how it was over and over. In the end, you came through it.”</p><p>“Sam,” Frodo murmured. Sam relented and drew out a handkerchief, passing it to him.</p><p>“Ah. I’m sorry for being hard,” Sam murmured.</p><p>“No, forgive me. I’m indulging in self pity and absorbed in my own troubles when I shouldn’t be.”</p><p>“Well, but you trusted enough to speak on your troubles,” Sam said.</p><p>“Some of them,” Frodo admitted.</p><p>“That’s better than it used to be.”</p><p>Frodo smiled wanly and wiped his face.</p><p>“Remember what we promised each other when we were elected?” Frodo asked him. Sam nodded.</p><p>“What we did on the Journey won’t work anymore,” Sam said, “From here on, we mustn’t suffer on one another’s behalf nor let ourselves bottle things up. We must try and share burdens so that we don’t get exhausted or hurt.”</p><p>“And that’s right of course. But sometimes it’s difficult,” Frodo said.</p><p>“I know. And I’ll not pretend I’ve been perfect at it,” Sam said, “but I try. I know you’ll help me work through the hard things. It’s just sometimes it feels easier and safer to hold onto the hardness and bear it alone.”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo murmured. He turned and put a hand to Sam’s shoulder. “But I’m glad that I have you to talk to, even when the troubles I bring you are ugly painful things. Thank you for helping me bear them,” he smiled adding, “for at least as long as we’re elected officials.”</p><p>“Don't be silly,” Sam said, “You know, I made that pledge with you for always.”</p><p>“Always is a long time, Sam.”</p><p>“Yes,” Sam said, turning to gaze into Frodo’s eyes. “That it is.”</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo set his back against the bench and gazed out in silence. His stubborn grimness eased a little.</p><p><em>Sam’s right of course, </em>he thought, <em>and maybe Merry and Pippin too.</em> He closed his eyes and let himself sink into the motion of the cart as it bumped along the muddy road.</p><p>“Don’t let the Ring’s ghost or your own guilt and doubt draw your heart down into despair,” Gandalf had told him once. “Those things will lie to you every time.”</p><p><em>Those things tell me that I’m not worthy of forgiveness and love. And that’s not true. </em>Frodo sighed, feeling soft cool rain mist against his face. Sam had just made the same point, reframing the situation for him in a very helpful way.</p><p><em>Oh, Sam’s very clever,</em> Frodo thought.<em> So much more clever than he gives himself credit for. </em>That reversal thought experiment that Sam had put to him could be used for more than his guilt over Weathertop and the Ring.</p><p>
  <em>For instance- what if it was Sam silently bearing the pain of unrequited love for me? What if he was the one being harsh to himself, telling himself that I could never love him, and even if I could that it would be wrong to let me settle for him. I would hate that. Even if I didn’t return his love I would hate that. And I would be sad that he felt like he had to hide his feelings from me, after everything we’ve been through. Whatever I felt, I would want him to know that I love him and treasure him. I’d never be cruel to him. We’re making a life together and… </em>
</p><p>And on and on. It came down to the simple truth: Sam would never be cruel to him for falling in love with him. Sam’s words came back to him again from that long ago conversation in the spring, when he’d asked Sam over and over what had gone wrong. Gently, Sam had answered him each time: Not wrong. Changed.</p><p><em>I’m not a very good listener, </em>Frodo thought. <em>I haven’t listened to him in all the time since. He’s told me over and over in large ways and small that he loves me and that he wants to share his life with me. I may not know just how close he wants to be with me- because I’ve never asked him that - but he’s chosen his life. </em></p><p>
  <em>I’m not going to try and make choices for him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We are building a life together, and it’s better to be honest about this. Even if he doesn’t return my feelings, it’s better to be honest about this.</em>
</p><p>Frodo felt a kind of warm calm descend on him. He’d decided now, and somehow that made everything feel so much better.</p><p><em>I still have to work out how I’ll tell him, </em>Frodo thought, <em>but maybe I can work up to it. At any rate, I am going to tell him. </em></p><p>
  <em>Somehow.</em>
</p><p>§</p><p>The rain was pounding harder now, making the road difficult to see and treacherous. Sam decided to pull the cart off into a sheltered place to wait out the storm. They traveled down a small slope and parked under the broad leafy boughs of a large oak with enough leaves in it’s thick tangle of branches that much of the rain was blocked.</p><p>The rain fell around them but now that they were in this sheltered spot the nuisance of it fell away. It was like someone had drawn a curtain around them.</p><p>Sam thought that someone from the back of the cart might get out, as was the custom when they stopped, but there was no stir from the back.</p><p>“Are you cold?” Sam asked and lifted his cloak. Frodo nodded and slipped under his arm.</p><p>“Oh, that’s better,” he said, “the weather is turning colder.”</p><p>“That’s so,” Sam said. They fell into silence, listening to the rain pat against the leaves.</p><p>“I had thought that we might go to Rivendell this fall to visit Bilbo and the Elves. Maybe spend the winter, if we could be spared,” he said quietly. “And look, here we are.”</p><p>“That sounds nice,” Sam murmured. “I want to spend some time in Rivendell, when we aren’t in a hurry to be somewhere. And I want to visit with Mr. Bilbo of course.” He paused, “Why don’t we, hey? Spend the rest of the fall and winter there? I’ll reckon Mr. Merry will take some time to mend and I know we don’t want to let him stay on alone. And besides, Mr. Bilbo won’t bide in Rivendell forever.”</p><p>“You are so optimistic,” Frodo said, drowsily.</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“You just believe as a matter of course that we shall reach Rivendell without trouble.”</p><p>“I never said with no trouble,” Sam protested. Frodo laughed softly. “But yes. We’ll get there. When me and you set our minds to something… well.”</p><p>“I suppose so,” Frodo said. Sam turned and drew Frodo into a fuller embrace.</p><p>“Maybe it’s alright if we hope this time?” he said quietly. “Plan for the future and all.”</p><p>“I’d like that,” Frodo said just as quiet. Sam gazed at him, aware that his heart must be in his eyes, but he couldn’t help it. Frodo peered at him. “Hope with me?” he asked. Sam nodded and earned a smile from Frodo.</p><p>“Are you afraid of trouble between us and Rivendell?” Sam asked.</p><p>“You’re determined to chase away all my demons, are you?” Frodo asked, dropping his head to set his cheek to Sam’s shoulder.</p><p>“I’ll try,” Sam murmured. “I’ll always try. Anyway, I think we share a few.”</p><p>“Probably so,” Frodo said. He went on, “I feel everyday that the Riders must be drawing closer to us, and,” he stopped. Sam heard a stifled sob. “Merry has gone into the wraith realm more than once. He took me there with him this morning.”</p><p>“Mr. Pippin told me,” Sam said softly.</p><p>“I’ve made myself believe that he will be alright,” Frodo whispered, “I can’t even bear to think otherwise.” Sam rubbed his back, moving to Frodo’s shoulder. Whenever Frodo was the most upset Sam had learned to rub his shoulder or to warm it. It almost always had an immediate effect on Frodo. Sure enough, Frodo let his eyes close, easing at Sam’s touch, his breaths going from short gasps to steady and deep. “And Merry won’t let me near him now.”</p><p>“He wants to protect you,” Sam said.</p><p>“I know, but who will protect him?” Frodo asked. “I can’t.”</p><p>“We all will,” Sam said. Frodo fell silent. There wasn’t anything more to say and it was such an unthinkable horror that Merry might become a wraith. They sat in silence for a long time, Sam running his hand up and down Frodo’s back.</p><p>“I suppose there was one other thing,” Frodo said hesitantly after a long while. “I had a small disagreement with Merry and Pippin earlier,” Frodo said slowly, “and as usual they showed me up. Very canny, those two.”</p><p>“If they hurt you I’ll have some words for them,” Sam said gruffly. Frodo patted his arm.</p><p>“They don’t mean any harm. And anyway,” he paused, “they were in the right.”</p><p>“Do you want to tell me what the argument was on?” Sam asked.</p><p>“I don’t dare,” Frodo said gently, “At least not now. I’m afraid you’ll see how silly I am.”</p><p>“I’ll not think you silly,” Sam said. “But hold your secrets if you like. Just know I’m on your side of it.”</p><p>“Ah,” Frodo laughed. “Pledging your loyalty to me, even when I tell you that I’m in the wrong.”</p><p>“Hm. Don’t care,” Sam said. “I’m sticking with you.”</p><p>“So, I suppose that’s all of my troubles,” Frodo said. “And what of your troubles, my dear?”</p><p>“I didn’t have near as hard a morning as you,” Sam smiled, “but I suppose I’m getting more and more afraid. It’s all those feelings of being hunted and sought. You know I have those dreams sometimes. Now I have them every night.” Frodo put his arms around Sam. Sam closed his eyes. “Something hunting me and sometimes you too. And no matter where I hide, it finds me. Whatever bit of that I’d begun to let slip away, it’s all back. I keep feeling eyes from the trees. I feel it always now.”</p><p>“Some of that fear is warranted, given our circumstances.”</p><p>“But I feel it even when there’s nothing to worry on,” Sam said quietly. “I don’t understand. It wasn’t like that on the Journey. It’s only since.”</p><p>“We were hurt. It’s alright to recognize that,” Frodo said gently, “Even so, I wish I could ease you.”</p><p>“You do. You’re about the only person who can, you know,” Sam admitted. “Though, I suppose, Mr. Gandalf can too. He’s so kind and good to me.”</p><p>“Gandalf is such a blessing to us both,” Frodo said.</p><p>“I wish he was here.”</p><p>“Me too,” Frodo said. “I’m really very worried about him. I hope he’s alright.”</p><p>Sam moved his hand up to Frodo’s head and bent down, kissing his forehead.</p><p>“We’re going to hope for the future, me and you,” he said, taking the moment to rub his nose in Frodo’s soft curls. “We’re going to hope for Rivendell and for Mr. Merry’s health, and for Mr. Gandalf being alright.”</p><p>“And for us too,” Frodo added quietly. Sam drew back and found Frodo gazing at him, with some powerful emotion in his eyes.</p><p>“I love you,” Sam said. Frodo’s expression brightened before softening into pleasure.</p><p>“And I love you,” Frodo answered. Sam brought his hand up and pulled Frodo closer once more, clasping his head to his shoulder. Sam never could get enough of feeling Frodo warm and alive in his arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Dreaming of the Brightest Days</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope no one is tired of reading Sam and Frodo talk to each other... cause that is what I have for you today.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam let his hand move up to rub Frodo’s back. It was as much for his own comfort as it was for Frodo’s.</p><p><em>Oh, </em>Sam thought<em>, if I speak right now it’s going to be to tell him that I’m in love with him. I can’t say anything else. I can’t bear it. </em></p><p>“Sam,” Frodo murmured. His face was turned away, but he slipped his arms around Sam. Sam clasped him closer, hugging him. Frodo made a soft pleased sound.</p><p>
  <em>And yet, I can’t. He don’t feel the same. T’would hurt me so. To know for sure that he don’t love me like I love him.</em>
</p><p>“Thank you for this,” Frodo said, “You do so much to help me feel strong. I hope that I can do more to return the favor. I want to.” Sam closed his eyes and reached up to brush his hand through Frodo’s curls.</p><p>Frodo always seemed to forget the times he’d been the one to soothe Sam. Like all those days when they’d first taken up their jobs in Michel Delving and Sam had cried every night, overwhelmed with the work and homesick for Number Three And Bag End. Frodo had held him and reminded him of his strengths and worked very hard to make their little house into a homey place for Sam.</p><p>Sam was about to reply when Frodo sighed and said very quietly, “I want to show you my love.”</p><p>Sam felt himself trembling and then the prick of tears came.</p><p><em>Am I so sure he doesn’t love me like I love him? </em>Sam turned the question over in his mind. He wasn’t sure of any of it. Frodo drew back.</p><p>“Sam?” Frodo murmured, looking tender and concerned. Sam wiped a tear away.</p><p>“Oh,” he said, softly, “You do, you know?”</p><p>
  <em>I think he’ll forgive me. He is so sweet to me, he wouldn’t hold it against me. He’d forgive his Sam for getting his heart mixed up where he shouldn’t.</em>
</p><p>“And I'll always do what I can to help you feel strong. I only wish you didn't have so much to handle,” Sam sniffed, “just like always. I hoped that we could get things settled in the Shire and then you could focus on mending,” he took a breath, “but the World just can’t leave us be. And now with Mr. Merry hurt and these cursed wraiths out in the world again…” he sniffed. “I just want it to be done. I want to think of wintering with you in Rivendell.” Frodo reached out and held his hand. Sam gazed at their joined hands.</p><p>“Then, let’s leave the rest alone for now. Come, we’ll plan for Rivendell,” Frodo said gently. “What shall we do to pass the days?”</p><p>“We could read together,” Sam said slowly, warming to this, “and go listen to the music they make in the Great Hall. You missed some of that both times we were there. It’s wonderful,” Sam said, feeling himself ease. “And in the evenings, I’ll lay by the fire with you like we did last winter.”</p><p>“Last winter I was too shy to cuddle,” Frodo said with a smile. “I just wrapped myself in blankets and shivered.” Sam hummed and let his hand trail down to stroke Frodo’s ear.</p><p>“I reckon we can do a bit better this winter. Rivendell gets colder than the Shire. Will you let Sam hold you?” he asked.</p><p>“I’d like that,” Frodo breathed.</p><p>“Nothing I’d like more right now,” Sam said, leaning in as he gazed at Frodo, “just imagine being dry and comfortable with a warm fire before us. And us together, laying on something soft, arms round each other,” Sam murmured, feeling a little breathless. Instinct was guiding them together and they were so close. Frodo looked at him like he was the most wonderful hobbit in the world.</p><p><em>He looks like I feel, </em>Sam thought. <em>Could he be feeling a bit of this?</em></p><p>“It feels so good when you hold me,” Frodo said in a bare whisper, “when I hold you.” Sam took a breath. He only needed to lean in a bit more to touch his lips to Frodo’s. It took all of his strength to stop himself.</p><p>“If no one’s about, I'll take your hands in mine,” Sam whispered, dropping his eyes shyly. “And give them a rub if you’ve made them sore with writing.”</p><p>“You sweet hobbit,” Frodo murmured. “And what could I do for you?”</p><p>“I like it when you read Sindarin to me,” Sam said. Frodo smiled.</p><p>“Then I will read Sindarin to you.”</p><p>“And,” Sam felt his cheeks go hot, “I like it when you kiss my ears.” Pleasure lit Frodo’s face. He touched Sam’s hand, stroking the backs of his fingers.</p><p>“Then I will kiss your ears,” he said. “I like making you feel good.” Sam felt himself trembling. Those light touches had him completely undone. There was heat between them and it was unbearably good.</p><p><em>Is he flirting with me?</em> Sam wondered, dazed. He didn’t think so, but yet, something about this felt new. In all of their tenderness, Frodo hadn’t reacted to him like this.</p><p><em>It’s like a dance,</em> Sam thought,<em> He’s responding to me and I’m responding to him. </em></p><p>It felt new, but Sam realized that, no, they had done something like this before, but it had been such a long time ago. Once or twice during their visit to Lothlorien, when they’d found themselves alone in beautiful secluded spots, there had been a hint of this kind of exchange- though Sam hadn’t been able to identify it then. He’d just known that it felt good and made him feel closer to Frodo. It was only afterwards that he’d recognized how romantic those exchanges between them had been, and how it had created such yearning within him.</p><p><em>I could just lean in, touch my nose to his, give him a little nuzzle, </em>Sam thought, <em>that’d make it plain.</em> It was such a tweener thing to do, nose nuzzling, but it was a clear sign that a hobbit wanted to kiss or be kissed.</p><p>They traded so many affectionate touches, kisses and cuddles. Would it really be so wild to think that Frodo might like to be kissed?</p><p><em>I’m just so lost in this, </em>Sam thought, <em>I don’t feel wise enough to know if I’m just dreaming.</em> He wished once more for Gandalf’s company. Gandalf was so wise and always gave him good advice.</p><p><em>Ninnyhammer, Mr. Gandalf’s already give you advice on this,</em> he thought, <em>he asked if I could trust in the love between us. </em></p><p><em>Oh. I could. I could do that,</em> Sam thought. <em>I’d trust my life to him in an instant. Can’t I trust my heart to him? </em>He angled his face, leaning in. <em>I will. I’ll do it. </em>He touched his nose to Frodo’s. Frodo blinked at him, then smiled and set his hands to Sam’s cheeks, touching their foreheads.</p><p><em>And he’s missed my meaning, </em>Sam thought dully. <em>Cause I didn’t do it right. I touched my nose to his and then froze. Silly hobbit. Of course he didn’t understand. </em></p><p>Sam took a breath, readying himself to try again.</p><p>“Another nice thing about Rivendell,” Frodo said softly, “we can have a bit of a break.” Sam was broken from his thoughts.</p><p><em>Oh no. I missed the moment, </em>he thought.</p><p>“I feel a little guilty,” Sam admitted.</p><p>“Me too. But we worked very hard and left the Shire with the best harvest in a hundred years. The winter should be quiet and I know Fatty will do a wonderful job. He’s so smart and kind and brave. Besides, we need a rest. Both of us.” He sank into silence for a moment, “And there’s so much I want to learn.”</p><p>“About Elves? Healing?”</p><p>“Yes those things,” Frodo said slowly, “but I also want to learn about you.”</p><p>“Me?” Sam laughed. “What have you left to learn about me?”</p><p>“Plenty. The times we’ve spent together there’s always been so much that I’ve had to focus on- the Journey and then getting back home and retaking the Shire and then finding my own place in it, and then all the work we’ve done together since we were elected. It always seems that I’ve been too busy to just spend time with you.”</p><p>“Oh we’ve done that, surely,” Sam said.</p><p>“Yes, a bit,” Frodo admitted, “but I want more time for it.”</p><p>“Well. I’ll not protest. But I don’t understand it,” Sam said. Frodo’s cheeks went red.</p><p>“It’s just. You know. <em>Time to get to know one another</em>.”</p><p>Sam could sense something on Frodo’s mind about this, but it was bewildering.</p><p>“Alright then,” he said. “That sounds nice.”</p><p>“Good,” Frodo said, blushing up to his ears now.</p><p>They paused, as the rain picked up, drumming on the cart top behind them.</p><p>“Can I ask something?” Frodo said in his ear, “It might seem like a strange question,” he warned.</p><p>“Go on then.”</p><p>“Did I tell you that I loved you in Ithilien? Or did I dream that?” Frodo asked. Sam blinked and turned in surprise.</p><p>“No, you did. T’wasn’t a dream.”</p><p>“Oh. I’m glad,” he said. Sam peered at him and Frodo smiled, looking a little embarrassed. “I told you it would sound strange.”</p><p>“Did the Ring try to make you think it didn’t happen?” Sam asked quietly. Frodo shook his head.</p><p>“Worse. I couldn’t remember it at all until last night. It came back to me, along with a few other sweet memories from the Journey.” Frodo sank into silence. “It was at work on me even before I was aware of It. I still don’t know the depth of what it did to me. How much to believe my own memory. What else might be hidden from me.”</p><p>Sam considered this.</p><p>“Well. That’s what the book is for. What it’s really for. We’ll both go over it and sort it out so you won’t feel like you don’t know something. And in the meantime,” he paused, blushing, “in the meantime, maybe I can try to think of some of the sweetest memories of time we shared in and tell them to you, since it was those that the Ring took away? Would you like that?”</p><p>“I would like that very much,” Frodo said, “if it won’t embarrass you.”</p><p>“No,” Sam said shyly, “I want to. Those times helped me, then and now. I want you to have them too. And it will be nice telling you each one.”</p><p>“Thank you. It was so important to me,” Frodo said slowly, “to get that memory back and some of the other things that the Ring stole from me.”</p><p>“And that was last night?” Sam mused, “Is that when you…”</p><p>“Lit up? Yes,” Frodo laughed a little. Sam felt a slight fluster.</p><p>
  <em>Him remembering that he told me that he loved me- that was a source of magic for him?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh. And he cried so last night. Hard. </em>
</p><p>“I realized last night,” Frodo said solemnly, “that the Ring stole that memory and others from me because it was threatened by how much I loved you and how that love was growing.”</p><p>Sam could feel his heart begin to pick up.</p><p>“It tried to destroy my feelings, and while it did hide some things from me, it failed in the end.”</p><p>“Of course it did,” Sam said, sitting up now, deeply proud of Frodo. “I always knew the reason we came to the end together was cause what was between us.” He laughed a little breathlessly. “It’s the only reason I could keep going the way I did. And it’s the only thing that kept me from giving into Its lies when I carried it. If It had been able to take my love for you away or even memories of loving you away...” Sam stilled, trembling suddenly. “Oh, Frodo.”</p><p>“It couldn’t take everything from me,” Frodo said, speaking softly. “At least, not until the very end.” Sam went still, wide eyed. “But that wasn’t me in that moment,” Frodo said slowly. “Or rather, it was me with all of my humanity removed. A creature completely ruled by Its power.” Frodo let out a breath. “I’m sorry you had to see it.”</p><p>“If you had to go through it, I wasn’t going to be anywhere else,” Sam said, crying as he said it. Tears rolled down Frodo’s cheek and he looked at Sam. Sam reached out and set his palm to Frodo’s cheek, wiping his tears away with his thumb.</p><p><em>I could just lean in and kiss him,</em> Sam told himself. That felt right but Sam didn’t do it.</p><p><em>No no, it wouldn’t be proper, that way,</em> he thought. <em>I must tell him what’s in my heart first. </em></p><p>
  <em>So tell him.</em>
</p><p>Sam trembled, then burst into tears. Frodo moved in, petting his hair, trying to soothe him.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Frodo asked. “I’m sorry, I’ve unburdened myself on you and then went on telling you all of these revelations that took me time to work through, and all of that after you’ve spent a long day driving.”</p><p>“It’s more than alright. It’s a blessing to hear it all,” Sam sighed, “but I suppose I am a bit tired. Maybe that’s some of what this crying is about.” Frodo kissed his cheek.</p><p>“Go lay down. I’ll take over driving.”</p><p>Sam clasped his hand and kissed Frodo’s cheek in return. They paused together, still holding one another’s hands.</p><p>“When my shift is over,” Frodo said, “I’ll come lie with you.”</p><p>‘I’d like that,” Sam sighed. Reluctantly they released one another and Sam climbed down. He hurried around to the back of the cart, rain spattering down on him until he climbed inside and shut the door.</p><p>Inside, it was dark, as everyone but Pippin was asleep. Pippin whispered a greeting to him, which Sam returned as he crawled over to a small corner of the unoccupied pallet.</p><p>Pippin came over and lay down with him. Sam turned over and tweaked his ear. Pippin wasn’t fooled though, he peered at Sam, concerned.</p><p>“Alright?” He whispered.</p><p>“I’m alright and Mr. Frodo is alright.”</p><p>Pippin smiled.</p><p>“We knew he needed to talk to you.”</p><p>“Did you?” Sam smiled and put an arm around Pippin.</p><p>“Tell me when you need time with him,” Pippin whispered. “I’ll arrange it.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Pippin closed his eyes and cuddled closer.</p><p>§</p><p>The rain eased after a time and Pippin came out sit with him when they set off once more. Frodo drove them past dark countryside and tried to think about how much progress they must be making. His heart was much lighter and Pippin only worked to cheer him up further.</p><p>When night fell they guided the cart off the roads as usual and found a sheltered place. Eowyn and Faramir came out to secure their camp and stand watch with Pippin.</p><p>Frodo took care of the pony, stroking her ears and doing his best to mimic Sam’s tones when he spoke to ponies. Sweet Pea blinked at him with her big dark eyes as she ate from her feed bag. Frodo petted her, taking a moment to let peace settle over him.</p><p><em>I might not have managed to tell Sam all of my feelings this afternoon but I got closer than I ever have before,</em> Frodo thought, <em>and it felt like we were both so close to something. Maybe he felt it too. </em></p><p><em>Easy</em>, he told himself, <em>you can’t expect yourself to do everything in a day or two. </em></p><p>
  <em>Besides, I don’t just have myself to consider in this. Poor Sam got overwhelmed. It wouldn’t have been right to keep going. I can do this in small steps if that’s what he needs. </em>
</p><p>Frodo finished tending to Sweet Pea and retreated to the cart. He climbed up and make his way over to Sam’s pallet. Sam was deeply asleep, curled on his side. Frodo paused a moment, gazing at him, his heart full.</p><p>“Frodo?” Merry whispered. Frodo blinked and turned.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“I’m sorry for this morning.”</p><p>Frodo was silent.</p><p>“It’s alright,” he whispered back, “I know you have good intentions.”</p><p>Merry paused.</p><p>“Frodo?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“I may not be long for this world,” he said very quietly. Frodo started to protest, but Merry spoke over him. “I’m going to do everything in my power to convince you that you are loveable and that you can have happiness. Even if I have to make you a little uncomfortable to do it. If there was more time, maybe I could find a better way. I’m sorry I hurt you.”</p><p>Frodo was struck to his core, and tears welled in his eyes. He was about to answer- to tell Merry that he’d been right about it all- when there was a loud banging on the cart side. Sam jolted awake with a start.</p><p>“Take arms!” Éowyn’s voice came. “Frodo! Come! Bring your light!”</p><p>“What is it?” Frodo cried, scrambling up.</p><p>“We are surrounded.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Night Visitors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo emerged from the cart behind Sam. They both stilled for a moment, gasping. Standing at a distance of perhaps twenty ells were a line of tall figures, clothed in wispy robes. They were still and silent and they made no move to approach closer, but Frodo could sense the cold malice in the figures. He climbed down carefully moving to stand with Éowyn and Faramir and Pippin.</p><p>“Where’s Sweet Pea?”</p><p>Frodo turned, hearing the heartache and fear in Sam’s voice. He was staring in horror toward the front of the cart. Frodo had left Sweet Pea contentedly having her supper under the tree just beyond the front of the cart. There was no sign of her now.</p><p>“The first thing these wraiths did was get between us and the pony,” Faramir said quietly.</p><p>“They’ve hurt her?” Sam cried.</p><p>“They frightened her and she bolted,” Éowyn said. There was silence among the group. Without Sweet Pea, they were trapped.</p><p>“Why don’t they attack?” Pippin asked. “They’re just standing there, watching us.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Faramir said quietly.</p><p>“Reckon they’re holding us here?” Sam asked, “till their bosses come?”</p><p>“I think you’re right,” Frodo said.</p><p>“Then that won’t do,” Éowyn growled. Faramir paused then handed his torch to Pippin, stepped behind Éowyn. He knelt beside Frodo.</p><p>“What is your council, Frodo?” he asked. Frodo stilled. He was frightened but like so many times on the Journey, he tamped down his fear so that he could listen to what his heart told him.</p><p>“We must find Sweet Pea,” he said, “Éowyn and Sam have the best chance of finding her. The rest of us must draw the wraiths and hold them.” Faramir nodded.</p><p>“I can find Sweet Pea on my own,” Sam said, looking up to Éowyn, “I’ll not ask you to leave Mr. Faramir.”</p><p>“And I will not allow you to go into the forest alone,” Éowyn said to him. Sam conceded wordlessly, and sent a glance to Frodo. Frodo held his gaze for a moment before returning his attention to Faramir.</p><p>“I will try to heal the wraiths, though I do not know if I can,” he let out a breath, clutching the phial. “There are so many.”</p><p>“Faramir and I will make sure they are held together then,” Pippin said, drawing his sword. “Maybe that will help.”</p><p>Sam took a breath, touching the hilt of the sword strapped to his belt, then moved down to Éowyn’s side.</p><p>Faramir walked out, moving with deadly precision, as he fixed the group of wraiths in his gaze. Pippin moved with him. At this, the wraiths shifted, drawing blades of their own. Frodo tried to keep the fear out of his face as he turned to Sam. They shared a look and Sam touched his hand, before moving off silently with Éowyn. Frodo turned back to the cluster of wraiths, moving in to face Pippin and Faramir.</p><p><em>These are victims of the wraiths.</em> Frodo told himself. <em>They deserve pity. </em></p><p>A wraith sprang forward, bringing his blade down on Pippin. Frodo cried out, but Pippin had already turned and countered the blow.</p><p>Frodo reached into his shirt and pulled out the phial from it’s holster, trying to feel the same pity he had before, but he could not call it into his heart.</p><p>
  <em>They’re trying to hurt Pippin. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>They’re trying to hurt Faramir. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>They’ve trapped us here and we will die if the Riders come. </em>
</p><p>Frodo felt a hand on his back. He turned to see Merry perched behind him in the cart.</p><p>“It’s alright Frodo,” he said. “You can do this.” Frodo turned back, his heart racing as he watched the struggle.</p><p>
  <em>I must do this, the longer it takes me the more chance that someone will be hurt or killed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But there’s so many of them. </em>
</p><p>Even if the magic came to him, Frodo was sure he couldn’t heal them all. And what did it mean for them, to heal them anyway? The noise and the fighting also broke each moment of concentration. Frodo couldn’t make headway.</p><p>“There might be more of them this time,” Merry said in his ear, “but that’s alright. There’s no difference between one and many. They are all in the same situation. Made to hurt people by their circumstances.”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo said tentatively. He knew that, and he tried to fall into the truths of Merry’s words, but it was so difficult, watching them attack Pippin.</p><p>
  <em>It’s like watching Sméagol attack Sam. </em>
</p><p>A spark lit within him and Frodo straightened.</p><p>“It’s alright not to understand them,” Merry said, “and it’s alright if you can’t put yourself in their place. But you and I both know that they hold their humanity still. They are individuals and worth trying to save. You are <em>strong </em>Frodo. And I know you are strong and kind enough for this.”</p><p>He reached around and put his hand over Merry’s.</p><p>
  <em>They are worthy of pity but they must be stopped as well. And stopping them is the only way to give them a chance at regaining their humanity. </em>
</p><p>He felt Merry’s hands leave his shoulder and saw the flash of a blade to his left. Merry threw himself forward, countering the blow meant for Frodo with his own blade. Frodo stood still, hot power coiled inside him.</p><p><em>This cannot go on,</em> Frodo thought and the power moved up into his chest and outward. <em>Pippin and Faramir are fighting for me. Merry is using the last of his strength to defend me. Sam and Éowyn are out there in the dark forest, vulnerable and separated from the rest of us. These servants of darkness would blot out the future that we have all fought so hard for. </em></p><p>
  <em>They would blot out the hopes that Sam and I made.</em>
</p><p>It wasn’t to be borne.</p><p>
  <span>§</span>
</p><p>Sam and Éowyn moved quickly and silently through the woods. Sam was used to the heavy plodding of Big Persons, but Éowyn was surprisingly quiet and could crouch down into the same hidden nooks that Sam chose, with relative ease.</p><p>They’d tracked Sweet Pea through the woods but shortly found that she had run back to the Road, where the ground was hard. Sam stared in dismay as they emerged from the trees gazing out over the dark countryside. There was no sign of the pony and they weren’t skilled trackers.</p><p>“She has gone on running,” Éowyn said softly, “and out on flat good ground. She will be miles ahead.”</p><p>“And still running,” Sam sighed, “Took ponies. They’re the fastest and strongest ponies in the Shire.”</p><p>They shared a grim look.</p><p>From back in the forest there was a flash of blinding light. Sam turned with a gasp and began to run back to the cart. He heard Éowyn cry out behind him, but he paid her no heed. He drew his sword and ran as hard as his legs could go.</p><p>He was back in the clearing hurtling down the slight incline to the dark shape of the cart. There was no crowd of dark figures surrounding it now, and neither was there any sign of the blinding light that he and Éowyn had seen through the trees.</p><p>As Sam approached the cart he saw that Faramir was down on the ground, huddled with Pippin and Merry. Neither Merry or Faramir turned at his approach, but Pippin did, peeking around to meet his anxious gaze. Sam saw the look in his eyes and then caught a glimpse of dark hair in the mud, beneath their huddle. He dropped his sword and moved in, falling to his knees and pushing into their group. Frodo lay between them, unmoving.</p><p>Sam choked on a sob and pulled Frodo up into his lap.</p><p>“Easy, Sam,” Faramir said gently, “It’s alright.” Sam ignored him, turning Frodo’s face up, rubbing his cheeks, checking for breath and a pulse.</p><p>“Frodo? Frodo?” he cried. Frodo did not stir, but Sam saw his chest rise and fall, and he felt a gentle beat of a pulse in Frodo’s neck. Sam felt himself able to breathe again. “Hey now,” he said, clutching Frodo tight. “What’s happened? How’s he been hurt?”</p><p>“I don’t know that he has been,” Faramir said, “I think that he has swooned from exhaustion.”</p><p>“He did it, Sam,” Merry said weakly. Sam glanced up at him. Merry’s cheeks were streaked with tears.</p><p>“Did what?” Sam asked, rocking now, with Frodo in his arms.</p><p>“He healed the wraiths. All of them,” Merry said.</p><p>From behind them, Sam heard Éowyn’s steps as she approached their group. Faramir rose and went to her. They shared a soft conversation but Sam couldn’t focus on it. He was having a hard time focusing on anything other than the slow rise and fall of Frodo’s chest. He stroked Frodo’s hair and kissed his forehead, not caring if the rest of them saw.</p><p>Some time must have passed, for the next thing Sam was aware of was Pippin laying a hand on his back.</p><p>“Come,” he said quietly, “let Faramir carry Frodo.”</p><p>“Hm?” Sam blinked groggily, “what for?”</p><p>“We have to go, Samwise,” Faramir said, kneeling down before him.</p><p>“It’s not safe to stay here,” Pippin said, “and without Sweet Pea we must go on foot.”</p><p>Sam sat up, suddenly aware that everyone else seemed to have bags packed. He reluctantly loosened his grip on Frodo and let Faramir take him. Sam stood, turning to see that Merry was held on Éowyn’s back, while a small pack was slung around her front.</p><p>“Here,” Pippin said, passing Sam his own bag. Sam took it with nerveless hands. “It’s alright, I’ve packed everything for you,” Pippin said. He was weighted down by a heavy pack as well as by several weapons strapped to his back, including Sam's barrow blade. Sam felt off balance, used to being the one who did the packing and heavy carrying. Pippin passed him his sword as well and Sam put it back in the sheath on his belt.</p><p>Faramir hefted Frodo up over his shoulder.</p><p>“Ready?” he asked. Sam put his pack on and nodded.</p><p>Without another word, they moved off into the night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Finding Rest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo felt the soft grass beneath his feet as he gazed out across an expanse of rolling countryside. In the distance there was a golden tower. It all felt familiar.</p><p>“Hol-bytla,” a voice called. Frodo turned and found a group of stern Men standing under the shade of a large oak. He stepped toward them, then knelt, awed by something he didn’t fully understand.</p><p>“Lords,” he said. One of the Men came forward and bent, drawing him up.</p><p>“What is your name?” he asked, “for we do not want to call you by the name of a folktale from unlearned peoples, yet we know not what else to make of you.”</p><p>“I am called Frodo son of Drogo,” Frodo paused, “are you the wraith spirits?”</p><p>“We are Men of Arthedain. Those who drew blades against you and yours, and for that we are deeply sorry. We can only say that a poison compelled us.”</p><p>“I understand,” Frodo said softly. The man gazed at him.</p><p>“I see that you do.”</p><p>“Have I destroyed you?” Frodo asked, “and destroyed myself?”</p><p>“No to both,” the Man said.</p><p>“But you are dead.”</p><p>“We died centuries ago, Frodo son of Drogo. Be at peace, for thanks to you, we are. And fear not, for you are alive and well. It is an echo of your own power that allows us to meet now.”</p><p>Frodo bowed his head. Another Man stepped forward, and he was cloaked in deep oranges with a circlet upon his head.</p><p>“We have not come only to thank you, though we do Thank You.” He paused, “We called you here to give you a warning. The Witch King’s Court draw near. They are within a day’s ride, and they descend upon you with a Purpose.”</p><p>“Yes?” Frodo whispered.</p><p>“The Witch Kingslayers, your kin and the Éothéod, are in great peril. We were commanded to hold you and to kill any who fought back, save the Kingslayers, before the Seven came for their bad works.”</p><p>“But why?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“The Seven do not explain themselves to those they have bent to their will. We were only tools to them.” He sighed. “But, if they were to be spared then it would be only for some worse fate to befall them. That is the way of the Nazgûl.”</p><p>“Beware their foul works,” another of the Men said, “and most of all their poison. It was not chance that they used it on your kin. They will do the same to the Éothéod, if they are given the chance. Once the poison takes them, then they will be lost to Dark Works.”</p><p>Frodo quivered, staring up at them.</p><p>“Farewell, Frodo son of Drogo. I wish that we could tell you more of their foul ends. Thank you for our peace, and we pray for your victory.”</p><p>The light around them grew bright and Frodo slipped down into dream before he could answer them.</p><p>§</p><p>There were muffled sounds rising through the darkness, climbing towards him. Frodo opened his eyes, disoriented. There was shadow and movement and sound, and he didn’t seem to be lying in a bed.</p><p>“Sam?” he called.</p><p>The movement stopped and he slipped down a little. He caught a glimpse of Faramir, and realized that Faramir had been carrying him. He was lowered down and then Sam was there. Frodo reached for him, pulling Sam into an embrace.</p><p>“How are you?” Faramir asked.</p><p>“I think that I am alright,” Frodo said. Pippin ducked around Faramir and pushed himself into Frodo’s arms.</p><p>Éowyn knelt close and Merry reached weakly for him. Frodo caught his hand.</p><p>“Where are we?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“We’ve gone on a few miles from where we left the cart,” Éowyn said.</p><p>“And Sweet Pea?”</p><p>“We could not find her, I’m afraid,” Éowyn said. “But we had to go on.”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo sat up. “Yes, we must go as quickly as we can. The Riders are a day behind us.”</p><p>They all stared at him. Frodo touched his head, wondering suddenly if the conversation he’d had with the Men had been nothing more than a dream. But there was something about it that told him it was real.</p><p>“I had a vision,” he said slowly. “The Men of Arthedain, the wraiths who attacked us, they came to me. They said that the Seven are a day behind us and that they have some foul purpose in mind for Merry and Lady Éowyn.”</p><p>“Then there are seven of them,” Pippin said quietly. Frodo sent him a grateful look. He hadn’t been entirely sure that they would believe him.</p><p>“They could not tell me why the Riders are coming, only that it is a bad fate they intend. And they warned that the Riders would poison Lady Éowyn if they can.” He paused, “They also said that they were under orders to slay the rest of us if we proved bothersome.”</p><p>Faramir hissed wordlessly and gazed off into the trees.</p><p>§</p><p>They went on until dawn when they stopped for a short rest. Pippin was tired but marveled that Frodo was still on his feet. He had walked ever since he’d woken, and told them more of his vision as they went. Besides the encounter at the cart, Frodo had been up all day, and had spent a long afternoon and evening driving. Sam, who had at least had a short rest before they set out, seemed to be asleep on his feet. When they stopped for a rest and a bite, he sank down, dazed and worn.</p><p><em>Worrying about Frodo took a hard toll on him, </em>Pippin thought. He rose and was about to go to Sam, when he saw Frodo slip behind a tree and move off silently. He paused a moment, then followed after. He was most likely following Frodo while he went off to pee, but something worried him.</p><p><em>Oh well. If I find he’s peeing I’ll just back off a bit, or let him spot me and scold me. Either way, </em>Pippin thought.</p><p>He found Frodo standing still by a gnarled pine. He was facing away but Pippin could see that his hands were cupped up near his face. A moth walked over the side of his hand, pausing and waving fuzzy antennae. Frodo whispered gently to the small creature. It set it’s wings up, then rose into the air, flying swiftly away. Pippin watched quietly, his eyes moving off after the moth.</p><p>“Pip!” Frodo gasped, startled. Pippin straightened.</p><p>“I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t leave the group like that,” he said. “I came to watch over you. I didn’t mean to intrude.” Frodo nodded. “Was that a message for Gandalf?” Pippin asked softly.</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo said back, quietly. “I’ve been sending them every few days since we left the Shire. I know he would be here if he could, but I feel like it’s a good idea to give him word of where we are and what has happened.”</p><p>“It sounds very sensible,” Pippin nodded. "Er, does he send messages back usually?" Frodo shook his head.</p><p>"No need. He usually just appears," he said. "And if he did try and send a creature to me, I don't know how to Listen or Understand."</p><p>Pippin nodded, though he didn't understand. It was enough to know that at least Gandalf hadn't gone silent when he would ordinarily be able to send word to Frodo.</p><p>“Well, as I said, it's sensible. At least he's hearing from us. But why sneak off?” he asked.</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo looked embarrassed, “At first it felt like I doubted Faramir and Éowyn’s competence. I didn’t want them to see me sending frantic messages pleading for Gandalf’s help, when they came all this way to guard us. And then too, I didn’t want to worry you all. If you saw me send message after message and without Gandalf appearing, then that’s just one more reminder of the kind of desperate trouble we are in.” He sighed. “I suppose that’s a little silly though.”</p><p>“No,” Pippin said quietly and drew near. Frodo smiled at him and stepped close, ruffling Pippin’s curls.</p><p>“How are you doing with all of this?” he asked. Pippin almost gave a cheeky answer but he paused first.</p><p>“It’s hard,” he said. Frodo put an arm around his back. “But at least, we are together.”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo said, smiling at him. “And thank you for always doing what you can to look after the rest of us.” Pippin felt himself brighten. Frodo hugged him. “Come, let’s get back so we don’t worry everyone.”</p><p>Pippin smiled, eased by Frodo’s words, and very glad to see him smile.</p><p>§</p><p>Merry gazed through the morning light, hoping that the mist he was seeing was real, but afraid to ask. He was shaking with cold, despite being held on Éowyn’s back and cradled in her arms when they stopped for breaks. During one of the breaks, Sam had come and made a fresh <em>athelas</em> poultice and bound it to his side.</p><p>“The wound is healed,” Éowyn said in surprise, watching as Sam worked. Sam only frowned.</p><p>“The wound heals, but the poison stays,” he said quietly. Éowyn stroked Merry’s hair and didn't reply.</p><p>“We must be near the River Hoarwell,” Pippin said from nearby. He was talking to Frodo. “Remember, back when we spotted it with Strider? We came up some incline- perhaps like that one yonder- and from there we could see Hoarwell and the Road and then in the distance the Loudwater too. And Rivendell is just beyond.”</p><p>“That’s well and good,” Faramir said, emerging from the trees, “but we can’t do it all at once. Riders or no, we must rest for at least a few hours. I’ve found a cave just ahead. If it is unoccupied then we might have a good hidden spot for rest.”</p><p>“Careful Faramir,” Pippin said standing up, “This is troll country and our Uncle Bilbo found a troll cave near here on his adventure.”</p><p>“Then perhaps I need a brave hobbit to help me sniff out any trolls,” Faramir smiled. Pippin laughed and bounded after him.</p><p>Merry watched him go, cheered at least for the moment. Pippin always had that effect.</p><p>They returned a short time later, reporting that the cave was indeed abandoned and also dry and shallow. Merry was glad to hear that, for he'd been dreading sheltering in a place with a wide dark hole behind them with fathomless depths and no telling what kind of creatures in residence. He’d had a flash of memory, hearing Bilbo’s story of Gollum’s cave when he’d been a child, and all the terror he’d felt listening rapt to the story as Bilbo told the grisly tale.</p><p>Luckily, this cave was nothing like Gollum’s home. Éowyn carried him in and they settled down together in a nook, not far from the entrance. From his vantage point Merry could see the back of the cave, for it was not so deep that light could not reach the back. Frodo and Sam came inside and took up a place toward the back, with Pippin and Faramir setting themselves up at the entrance, keeping a watch out.</p><p>“As long as a crack doesn’t open up in the floor,” Merry murmured to himself. Éowyn touched his cheek looking into his face.</p><p>“What’s that?” she asked. Merry shook his head.</p><p>“Never mind it,” he said softly. They sank in to silence. Merry blinked, coming a little more awake and the mist in front of his eyes cleared just a little. He turned in her arms.</p><p>“Before they take us,” Merry whispered to her, “I want you to know how grateful I am that you came to protect me. I can’t tell you what it means to me.” Éowyn shifted to look down at him.</p><p>“Of course I came,” she said, “my valiant Merry. You rode with me into war, and stayed at my side as I face death and despair.” She smiled wanly. “Our blessing is that when we face such tests, our fates become bound together. We won’t be alone.”</p><p>Merry nodded and tucked his face against her neck. Then he fell into restless dreams.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. A Span of Sweetness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Would you rub my shoulder?” Frodo whispered. He and Sam were huddled together tucked toward the back of their small cave. Sam, who had been laying down their few blankets, looked up and nodded, shifting closer.</p><p>“Is it paining you badly?” he asked. Frodo opened his shirt and began unbuttoning.</p><p>“Yes. It’s been aching since Weathertop and it’s worse now.”</p><p>“I’m sorry to hear that,” Sam said sympathetically as he watched Frodo slip out of his mithril shirt, bare chested now. “You be ready to get that shirt back on if there’s trouble, now.” Frodo smiled faintly and gazed at him.</p><p>“Yes, my dear.”</p><p>Sam pushed down the unexpected fluster he felt at those words.</p><p><em>What’s this Sam?</em> He asked himself. <em>He calls you that all the time. But then, he’s not usually bare chested and looking at me like I’m the moon and the stars.</em></p><p>Sam scooted in closer and set his hand to the joint at Frodo’s shoulder. He pressed in gingerly with his thumb. Frodo closed his eyes.</p><p>“Tell me if I do ought to hurt you,” Sam murmured.</p><p>“I will.”</p><p>Sam gently increased the pressure as he worked, bringing more of his fingers in to rub along Frodo’s chest and shoulder. He glanced up at Frodo. Even with his eyes closed, Sam could see the pleasure in his face. It warmed him.</p><p>“You know,” Sam said softly. “You can always ask for this. If you’re aching and this helps, then I want to ease you.” Frodo opened his eyes and smiled at him.</p><p>“Sweet hobbit,” he said.</p><p>“You just let Sam see to you,” Sam said, the warmth within him growing. Frodo didn’t answer, just watched him through half lidded eyes, and a wistful smile on his face. The heat was back between them, made more intense by the warm skin of Frodo’s chest under his hands. Sam tried to stop himself from falling deeper into it and focus instead on his task, but it felt so good.</p><p>The last time this heat had grown between them Sam had only wanted to kiss Frodo. Now though, he wanted to lean in lay kisses to his neck and shoulder. He wanted to stroke his skin and draw shivers. He wanted to arouse him and please him, and make him feel loved. He wanted to show Frodo how much he desired him.</p><p><em>Oh dear,</em> Sam thought,<em> now isn’t the time for these feelings.</em></p><p>Frodo reached out and drew Sam’s cloak up wrapping them together in the shelter of the fabric. Frodo gave him a playful look and Sam felt his cheeks go hot and knew he was blushing. It felt like Frodo had drawn the cloak up to give them the privacy to touch one another.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m a bit cold.”</p><p>“You are half naked,” Sam said before he could stop himself. Frodo laughed.</p><p>“Yes I am, Mr. Gamgee,” he said gently.</p><p>“Teasing me,” Sam accused, then stilled</p><p><em>Oh lord,</em> Sam thought, <em>I meant teasing me by calling me Mr. Gamgee. Not...</em></p><p>Frodo blinked and more focus came into his eyes.</p><p>“I might be playful with you,” he said carefully, “but I won’t tease you. And I’ll not be cruel to you. Never that.” Sam regarded him thoughtfully. Something was passing between them but Sam hardly dared name it.</p><p>“Can I warm your poor shoulder?” he asked after a pause. Frodo nodded.</p><p>“Yes, I’d like that.”</p><p>Sam moved in, and pressed himself to Frodo’s side, putting his left arm to the back of Frodo’s shoulder, and his right to the front. Frodo settled in with him, letting out a quiet sigh.</p><p>“That feels nice,” he said. Sam bowed his head and kissed the top of Frodo’s shoulder.</p><p>“I’ll rub it again once it gets warm. In the meantime, would you like it if I told you one of those memories? I’ve got one in mind and you can tell me if it’s something you lost or if it’s stayed with you.”</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>“Well then,” Sam eased into his storytelling voice, “it was back in Rivendell, not too long after you woke up. There was an evening when I went to collect you from Mr. Bilbo, but you wanted to stay on and listen to his stories, so you asked me to stay and listen with you. So, I came in and sat with you. We settled in by the fire and you let me get under the blanket with you. Mr. Bilbo was telling the story of escaping from the Elf King’s hall, with a bit more color than I remember from the tales he’d tell when I was a babe.”</p><p>“He did a bit of censoring it seems,” Frodo laughed. Sam smiled.</p><p>“Ah, do you remember that night by the fire, hearing that tale?”</p><p>“No,” Frodo said quietly. “I don’t.” He sounded sad. Sam put his cheek to the warm bare skin of Frodo’s shoulder.</p><p>“Well,” he said, “there we were, listening to the tale, and very cozy too. An Elf came in and brought us warm drinks. I don’t know what it was but it was clear and sweet and very warming. We drank and listened and when you finished your drink it seems like you got a bit sleepy. I asked if you wanted to go to bed, but you said no. And you asked if I would let you put your head in my lap. I said you could and so you lay down, and I wrapped the blanket round you to make sure you kept warm, and I put my arm round you too. Mr. Bilbo watched all this and he said, “You lads are very lucky to have one another, you know.”</p><p>“Bilbo said that?” Frodo murmured, happy. Sam nodded.</p><p>“And you said, “Well, I’m very lucky. I know that.” And you took my hand in yours. I was a bit shy about the whole thing, I’m afraid,” Sam smiled, “but even so I said, “I think I’m very lucky too, Mr. Frodo.”</p><p>“When we left Mr. Bilbo, it was quite late and the moon was up, but even so, you wanted to take a stroll.”</p><p>“Oh dear,” Frodo laughed, “Don’t tell me I dragged you along?”</p><p>“No dragging needed,” Sam said, “I was up for a walk and we saw a lot of Rivendell by moonlight that night. And we talked for most of it, about all sorts of things. I don’t think I’d had a talk like that with you in a long time. It made me feel like we were back home and wandering back from the pub, taking the long route home so we could talk.”</p><p>“I always loved that,” Frodo said.</p><p>“And I did too.”</p><p>“What did we talk about that night in Rivendell?”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t rightly remember all of it. We talked of home and of the things to come mostly. And I told you I was a bit scared but that I must come with you. You seemed to understand that.” Sam paused. “I felt better, talking to you, and I think you felt better too. When we got back to our rooms, you and I both didn’t want to leave one another. You came and slept in my room.” Sam let his voice quiet. “You held my hand all night. Just like I done for you.”</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo said very quietly. Sam smiled, at the memory and the deep contentment it gave him. “That is so lovely. Thank you for sharing it with me,” Frodo added.</p><p>“Very glad to.”</p><p>They sat together in warm silence for a time, until Sam drew back and began once more to rub Frodo’s shoulder. Frodo had, by this point, slipped into a half doze, soothed by Sam’s work.</p><p>“I’m falling asleep,” Frodo said slowly.</p><p>“Put your mithril on then,” Sam cautioned. Frodo made a face, but sat up and slipped the shirt on.</p><p>“I wish I could just fall asleep without it.”</p><p>“If you want,” Sam said quietly, “you could lay down and I’ll rub your neck till you fall asleep.” Frodo lifted his eyes, and Sam could see the gratitude there.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>He lay down and Sam brushed back his curls, settling his hand at the base of Frodo’s shoulders. He resumed his work and felt Frodo relax under his hand. It only took a few minutes of that before Frodo fell asleep.</p><p>Sam slowed his hand until he wasn’t rubbing so much as caressing. He’d learned that even in sleep, his touch brought Frodo peace. Sam gazed down at him.</p><p>
  <em>This might not be the time to lay my heart out to him, but I will do it soon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Perhaps he even knows. He did seem to catch how embarrassed I was when I spoke of him teasing me. What was he telling me then?</em>
</p><p><em>Ah. I very well could be mistaken about that. Wouldn’t be the first time. </em>Sam smiled to himself.<em> No, there’s no need to go guessing at meanings. Not when it’s Frodo. I can ask him plain and I can trust him with my heart.</em></p><p><em>The question is how and when.</em> Sam paused, gazing out into the gloomy light from the cave entrance. <em>There’s this job to do. As much as I wish I could wake him now and take him off somewhere and tell him everything, this isn’t our time. Mr. Merry is fighting for his life and we must fight with him.</em></p><p><em>Still, if things get very desperate….</em> Sam sank back, troubled. <em>If we get to that place where hope isn’t more than a glimpse of starlight in a dark land… I want him to know. And things are getting on now. </em></p><p>
  <em>I don’t want to die keeping that love bottled up in my heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t want him to die without knowing what I feel. </em>
</p><p><em>So then,</em> Sam reflected,<em> I suppose I know where I stand now. </em>Though he still felt a fluster of nerves at the thought, it brought him comfort too.</p><p>Sam smiled and lay down with Frodo, putting his arms around him. To his surprise, Frodo turned over, facing him and put his arms around Sam in turn, and guided Sam’s head to his shoulder. Sam let out a sigh. This moment was perfection.</p><p>Gradually, he eased into soft dreams.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Warmth and Cold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cold mist rose from the ground, surrounding Merry so thickly that he could barely make out the shapes of Faramir and Pippin sitting only a short distance away. He blinked, shook himself and tried to focus his gaze. He was sure now that this mist was not real. He saw Éowyn reach down and rub his shoulder, trying to warm him- but he couldn’t feel her touch. </p><p><em>I’m too cold. I’m numb, </em>Merry thought, <em>and this mist is choking me. </em></p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>We are coming</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Merry jerked in alarm. The wraith call was so strong and loud in his ears. </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>You won’t hide from us, little rabbit.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Merry tried to block the voice out but he was helpless to stop it. They were laughing now in voices that made his skin crawl. Blackness burned around his vision and all the edges in the cave went soft. Merry stilled, looking around in alarm.</p><p><em>I’m in the Unseen, </em>he realized. He shook himself, crawled up and pulled himself into a near standing position. </p><p>He wasn’t shifting back into the land of the living. Not this time. Tears of fear burned in his eyes. </p><p>“Frodo!” he called. He glanced down at Éowyn and saw her clutching him still. He could make out her worried eyes. Merry looked down at himself, eyes closed, breathing shallowly. </p><p><em>What’s happening? </em>Merry wondered, terrified. A thought struck him and he trembled. </p><p>
  <em>Am I a wraith?</em>
</p><p>§</p><p>“Come we must go on,” Faramir said, bending down next to Éowyn. Sam blinked awake from the doze he’d slipped into and peered over the corner of his blanket. </p><p>“It’s barely been more than an hour,” Éowyn frowned at him. “Merry’s just fallen asleep.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Faramir said quietly, “but I’ve had a premonition. If we do not leave this place now then I fear this will be our prison.”</p><p><em>If not worse,</em> Sam thought, catching Faramir's fear.</p><p>“Come, Mr. Frodo,” he said gently, ducking down into their bubble of warmth beneath the blankets.</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>Sam kissed Frodo’s head.</p><p>“Wake up,” he said, “Mr. Faramir says we must be going.” Frodo made a soft unhappy noise and sat up, blinking.</p><p>“Is it evening already?” he asked, frowning.</p><p>“Not quite,” Sam said evasively. Frodo peered at him.</p><p>“The sky is very dark,” he noted. Sam turned around and gazed out to the entrance. The trees and bushes stirred with a soft breeze. Dark clouds had rolled in. Sam turned back and they exchanged a look. </p><p>“Wake up, Merry, dear,” Éowyn said, shaking him gently. Sam stood and stretched, gathering up their small collection of blankets. Frodo helped roll them away. Faramir moved back to the entrance and even from Sam’s vantage point, he could see how nervous Faramir was. </p><p>“What’s this?” Pippin chirped, moving into the cave to kneel by Éowyn. “Merry! Come on slug.” There was silence. </p><p>Frodo turned, alert suddenly, and rose. Pippin shook Merry again, casting a worried look to Éowyn. She was silent and shocked.</p><p>“Merry,” Frodo said urgently. Sam scrambled over as well, his heart pounding. </p><p>“He’s breathing,” Pippin said a note of panic in his voice, “but he’s not waking!” Faramir came over, peering down at Merry, reaching to turn him on his back. Éowyn touched Merry’s forehead. </p><p>“Delirium?” Éowyn said, frowning. “He doesn’t have a fever.” Sam pushed forward, slipping his hand into Merry’s shirt, feeling for his heartbeat. He could feel it faintly, beating slow. He moved up and gently opened one of Merry’s eyes. It gazed sightlessly back at him and in the center of his pupil there was a pin prick of cold light that should not have been there. Sam shakily drew back.</p><p>“What is that?” Éowyn asked, for she had been close too, and must have seen the light.</p><p>“It’s a sign,” Sam said softly, “the poison’s got hold of him.” All eyes were suddenly on him. “Begging your pardon,” he said out of nerves, “but Mr. Strider warned me and Mr. Merry of this back when it was Mr. Frodo in peril. He told us Mr. Frodo might go into a deathly sleep before the end. He told us some signs to check for and told us if such should happen then we must come and get him.”</p><p>“What did he mean to do for me?” Frodo asked. Sam went still and felt the blood drain out of his face. “Sam?” Sam shook his head, unwilling to say, unwilling to think about that dark path. Frodo’s hand was on his back, rubbing gently. It loosened Sam’s tongue enough for him to add, “it would have meant it was too late,” he said, his voice breaking, “For that sleep meant that the poison had grown enough to cleave the spirit from the body. Mr. Strider said that was how the wraiths do their Necromancy.” He squeezed his eyes shut.</p><p>“Merry’s spirit is in the wraith world,” Frodo said softly. Sam nodded, tears rolling down his cheeks. He heard a sob from Pippin but couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes.   </p><p>“Well then,” Frodo said quietly, “I’m going after him.” Sam and Pippin turned to him, both of them wide-eyed.</p><p>“What?” Éowyn asked.</p><p>“I can do it. I’ve done it before,” Frodo said, “I’ll go in and bring him out.”</p><p>Sam stilled, and felt his hands begin to shake.</p><p>
  <em>I can’t go with him.</em>
</p><p>“But Merry didn’t want you to go into the Unseen,” Pippin cried.</p><p>“Well he can’t argue now,” Frodo said. Sam stared at him, frozen.</p><p>“Frodo,” Faramir said quietly, “just how dangerous is this?” Frodo remained silent. </p><p><em>I can’t just let him go off, </em>Sam told himself, his thoughts racing,<em> Mr. Merry is all but dead and he’s meaning to pass into death for him, never mind the Riders closing in on us- and that will be sooner rather than later by my guess. We’ve no time to go hiking and hiding as we did before, even if Mr. Merry wasn’t in such a way. And we haven’t got Mr. Gandalf and Mr. Glorfindel out there harassing the Riders either. We are getting to be in a bad way.</em></p><p>“You will be walking between life and death in any case,” Faramir prodded.</p><p><em>And so, </em>Sam thought, <em>that moment of hope being naught more than a glimpse of starlight- that’s come. I can’t let him go into the wraith world without telling him my heart.</em></p><p>“It’s one of those things,” Frodo said quietly, “where the amount of danger suddenly isn’t important. It must be done and I will not allow him to slip away.”</p><p><em>But there’s no time for telling him such now… </em>Sam thought slowly, <em>and it’s not my place to delay him.</em></p><p>Pippin began to cry hard and Frodo moved to put his arms around him. </p><p>“It’s alright, Pip,” he said quietly. Sam watched them, his numbness fading away. </p><p>“It’s one thing you going there,” Éowyn said, “it’s another you bringing him back. Merry will not thank you if you only succeed in hurting yourself.”</p><p>Frodo nodded, his face grave. </p><p><em>No, it is my place</em>, Sam realized, <em>I’m not going to pretend there’s nothing between us. Not now.</em></p><p>“But I must try. I am going after him,” Frodo said again. “I’m going to bring him back. And none of you must stop me.” It was the same plea he’d made to them that night in Crickhollow. </p><p>There was silence. Sam lifted his face and turned to the others. </p><p>“Give us a moment,” he said. </p><p>§</p><p>Frodo looked up, shocked by the command in Sam’s voice. Everyone else was stunned as well and there were no arguments. Pippin slipped out of the cave, followed by Faramir and Éowyn. They were left alone.</p><p>“Sam?” Frodo began softly, afraid that he would have to hurt Sam’s feelings.</p><p>“I’m not trying to stop you,” Sam said softly, clasping his hands together. “When have I ever done that?” Frodo stilled, ashamed suddenly. </p><p>“Never.” He paused. “So, then?” </p><p>“There’s things need to be said. Things I need to say and ought to have said a long time ago,” he took a breath, “I hope you can forgive me that.” He winced, “Ah. And there’s not much time now.”</p><p>“Time enough. What is it, my dear?”</p><p>“Just this, you’re taking my heart with you,” Sam said fixing him in his gaze, “So. So, don’t go not coming back from this.” Frodo stepped close and covered Sam’s hands with his own. He didn’t answer, only drew them up and kissed his knuckles. Sam made a soft desperate noise that pierced Frodo’s heart. He was about to throw his arms around Sam, when Sam unclasped his hand to lay his palm to Frodo’s cheek. “Oh Frodo. I am in love with you.”</p><p>“Hey?” Frodo said. He was vaguely aware that this was not the right response, but his thoughts were running into the same wall over and over. Sam didn’t look upset though. Instead his eyes were soft.</p><p>“I am. I have been for a long time now. I wanted to say it, but I was scared. And you don’t have to say anything. We don’t need to speak on it again, if you don’t want to. I just want you to know. Want you to know that there’s someone waiting here for you, who loves you with his whole heart. And if that helps you feel strong, then. Well. Now you know it.” </p><p>“Ah. Oh. Ah,” Frodo was still sputtering but now it was because Sam’s words had him completely undone. He could feel the burn of tears. Sam smiled and stroked his curls.</p><p>“It’s alright, Mr. Frodo,” he murmured.</p><p>“No,” Frodo cried. Sam blinked. “I mean! It is alright. But,” Frodo struggled like he never had before to make words come to him. This was important. Maybe the most important thing he would ever do. “I love you too.”</p><p>“I know,” Sam soothed.</p><p>“No. In love,” Frodo was hit suddenly with tears, “I’m. In love, Sam. With you,” Frodo could feel his chin quiver as tears fell down his cheeks. He choked. “I didn’t think it was possible you could return those feelings,” he said, his voice breaking.</p><p>Sam’s eyes widened and he pulled Frodo into a fierce hug.</p><p>“Well I do,” he said. “And I can’t hardly understand what you just said. I think we must sit down and have a long talk sometime. But not now. Mr. Merry needs you. And I’m sorry I made you cry.”</p><p>“It’s a good cry,” Frodo gasped and wiped his cheeks. Sam squeezed his hand and released him.</p><p>“Take this,” Frodo said, drawing out the phial.</p><p>“You’ll need it,” Sam said, shaking his head. Frodo pressed it into his hands.</p><p>“No, the light doesn’t pass with me into the wraith world. Even if it did, I would want you to take the phial,” he said, meeting Sam’s eyes. “If I must part from you, then I want you to have this light. That’s as it should be.” Sam held it, trembling and nodded. </p><p>“I’ll do everything I can to protect you while you’re in the wraith world,” Sam said solemnly. </p><p>“Thank you,” Frodo slipped down into the space at Merry’s side. He looked up at Sam. “I love you.” Sam smiled.</p><p>“I love you, too.”</p><p>Frodo gave one last lingering look, then curled closer to Merry and took his hands in his own, closing his eyes. He could feel the cold burning magic in the touch of Merry’s hand. His instincts told him to let go, but instead, Frodo let himself fall deeper into the blackness.</p><p>§</p><p>Pippin stood next to Faramir, miserable, as he stared out into the dark forest. They had moved out from the outcrop to give Frodo and Sam a measure of privacy, but being out of the cave felt dangerous. He wasn’t the only one who felt it- Éowyn and Faramir both had hands on the hilt of their swords. </p><p>At the sound of feet, Pippin turned to see Sam emerge from the cave, looking dazed. He bounded to him, eager to be close to another hobbit and to get back into the cave. </p><p>“Frodo?” Pippin asked quietly.</p><p>“He’s gone for Mr. Merry,” Sam said. Pippin felt a wave of queasy fear. “You just trust in him,” Sam added gently, putting his arms around Pippin. “If it’s a matter of will and bravery you know Frodo will come through it.” Pippin nodded wordlessly, but he still cried.</p><p>“I don’t mean to doubt him,” he said, even as horror and pain filled him.</p><p>“I know. It’s fearsome, isn’t it?” </p><p>“Yes,” Pippin breathed, glad that Sam understood. Sam tightened his embrace. Usually Sam’s hugs eased him considerably, but now it seemed to have no effect. Pippin drew back, puzzled. Sam had a similar confused look on his face. Pippin could feel him trembling.</p><p>“Move back into the cave,” Éowyn said softly. Pippin turned. She was moving closer, her face terrified, even as she made herself move as if she was at ease. Faramir was close behind her. His sword was out, and he too had terror in his eyes.</p><p>“Oh no,” Pippin murmured. </p><p>“Riders,” Sam hissed, nodding to the woods. Pippin turned and looked out. There was a wordless cry on the wind that made them all shudder. The pretense at ease was gone- they all ran back into the mouth of the cave, hiding themselves among the rocks, hoping that they had not been seen.</p><p>Pippin was crammed down into a small cleft in the rock with Sam just behind him. He peered out. Movement caught his eye and held him frozen in fear.</p><p>One cloaked figure moved among the trees, drawing nearer. Slowly, Pippin’s eyes began to make out more shapes in the gloom. </p><p>There were seven of them, and they were coming closer. The one in the lead drew out a dark cruel looking blade and let out another soul chilling cry. </p><p>“They’ve found us,” Pippin gasped.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Ghosts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merry was as far back in the cave as he could get, balled up into a hole in the wall. He’d stood by and watched his friends panic as they tried to wake him. He’d shouted and cried and tried to climb back into his limp body, but without success. They couldn’t hear him and he could only make out vague blocks of sound from them. It was still enough to break his heart.</p><p>And he knew now what was happening. He’d watched Sam check his heartbeat and open his eye. He had fallen into the death sleep.</p><p>When they’d been trying to get to Rivendell with Frodo wounded with this poison, there had come a morning when Aragorn had brought Sam and Merry out into the forest with him. He’d sat down with them on a fallen tree.</p><p>“Frodo is very strong and you must not lose hope in him,” Aragorn had said, “For I have not lost hope in him. But even so, I must take precautions.”</p><p>“What kind of precautions?” Sam had asked, suspiciously.</p><p>“Sam, I swear to you that I want the best for Frodo and I will do everything in my power to see him safe to Rivendell. Haven’t I shown you that?” Sam nodded uneasily. Merry watched this exchange with narrowed eyes.</p><p>“What do you mean then?” Merry asked. He had a bad feeling.</p><p>“Just this,” Aragorn sighed, “if we are not swift enough and if the poison takes hold of him, then Frodo will fall into a sleep that he will not wake from- at least, he will not wake from it while he is yet mortal. He will become a wraith like the Riders and then it is only a matter of time before his will is broken and he becomes their creature.”</p><p>“He won’t!” Sam protested fiercely, “he won’t ever!”</p><p>“He won’t have a choice,” Aragorn said gently.</p><p>“If he becomes a wraith then we’ll stop him from going to the Riders,” Merry said, hating to think of such a thing happening to Frodo, “and we’ll get him to Rivendell, and they’ll be able to heal him, won’t they?” Aragorn gazed at him, sorrow in his eyes. Sam shook, then began to cry.</p><p>“If Frodo falls into that sleep then there is no return for him,” Aragorn said quietly. “His spirit will have left his body and then the evil will take him not long after. The Elves who have watched it happen say that it is a fate worse than death. The merciful thing then would be to slay him before the evil breaks him and turns him forever into a slave of the Nazgûl.”</p><p>“You’ll murder him!” Sam hissed. Merry moved over and out an arm around Sam’s back.</p><p>“Steady, Sam,” he whispered.</p><p>“If it comes to that point, then the Frodo you both know and love will be beyond recovery. And above all, we must not allow what Frodo carried to go to the Riders. You both understand that don’t you?”</p><p>“You’re going to kill him for the Ring,” Merry said in a cold voice. Aragorn shook his head.</p><p>“No,” he said. Sam glared at him. </p><p>“I don’t see what you're saying then,” he said through his teeth, “you say he must be killed to protect the burden he carries.”</p><p>“Oh,” Merry felt his stomach drop and he put a hand to his mouth, meeting Aragorn’s eyes. “You want one of us to slay him.” Sam gasped. Merry could feel him shaking, though he didn’t know if it was from terror or rage.</p><p>“I want you both to know what might be asked of you.”</p><p>Merry felt a coldness sweep over him and he began to sweat. Sam could not and would not do it. It wasn’t something he’d ever be capable of. It would fall to him. Merry slid off the tree and ducked away, heaving into nearby brush. </p><p>“I would not ask,” Aragorn said softly when Merry returned a few minutes later. “But the act must be done from love. The Ring will seize on anything else.”</p><p>Merry was silent.</p><p>“How will we know when it’s too late for Frodo?” he asked. Aragorn watched him, pity in his face.</p><p>“He will fall into a heavy sleep with only the barest breath and his heart will slow. You won’t be able to wake him. If you open his eyes, you will see a ghost light within. It is a sign that his spirit has left and will soon fall to darkness.”</p><p>“Mr. Merry!” Sam pleaded.</p><p>“I’m not going to hurt Frodo and neither will anyone else,” Merry said, shaking as he said it, “because he’s going to be strong and we’re going to get him to Rivendell. Does everyone understand?” Both Aragorn and Sam had stared at him and then nodded.</p><p>Now, Merry sat, curled in on himself, terrified by Aragorn’s warning. If Aragorn had been right, then he was beyond hope.</p><p><em>I don’t carry the Ring, </em>he thought,<em> so there isn’t such a pressing need to keep me from turning. Except that becoming a wraith is a fate worse than death. But only Sam knows the particulars. Maybe Frodo does too. </em></p><p>Merry shook and cried. </p><p>
  <em>How will they bind me to their will? </em>
</p><p>There was movement in the cave that drew Merry’s eyes. He pressed himself deeper into his hole and shook, terrified.</p><p>There was a ghostly man standing before him, looking down at his pitiful hole. It was King Théoden. </p><p>
  <strong>Come out from there Merry Brandybuck.</strong>
</p><p>Merry only stared, frozen. </p><p>
  <strong>You swore an oath to me, did you not? Come out from there. </strong>
</p><p>Merry stayed still, too stunned to move.</p><p>“You are dead, Lord,” he said quietly.</p><p>
  <strong>You are dead also. And there are no Lords here, save the Seven. You are in their domain and you will find that They rule you. Come. They call for you.</strong>
</p><p>Merry felt his fear sharpen but even so his thoughts raced to understand what he was hearing. It didn’t make sense. Theoden had not died from wraith poison. </p><p>“I don’t think you are King Théoden,” Merry said, “Not even his spirit. I think you are a trick.”</p><p>
  <strong>Think what you like, little rabbit. You are here now. And soon you won’t be able to think. This realm robs mortal thought. Only will is left, and our poison will take that from you soon. The poison lives now in your spirit. You can feel it, can’t you?</strong>
</p><p>“No,” Merry lied. Théoden laughed and his form faded away. Once more Merry curled in on himself and put his head between his knees. </p><p>He could feel a great void opening up inside him. It was growing and it was powerful, like a great wave coming to crash down on him.</p><p><em>It’s only a matter of time,</em> Merry thought.</p><p>“Frodo,” he murmured, “Pippin, Sam, Éowyn, Faramir.” He wasn’t sure if he was calling for them or saying their names as a ward against the dark void. </p><p>Eitherway, there was no answer.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo opened his eyes and sat up, watching the world shift around him in strange burning columns of soft light and darkness. </p><p>“Merry!” he called. He looked around but there was no sign of him. Frodo stood up. The cave seemed empty. Had Merry left? But where would he have gone? Frodo frowned and was about to call again, when there was a flash from the mouth of the cave. Frodo rushed forward and came around the corner, only to stop short, staring out. </p><p>Directly in front of him were the dark forms of his friends, standing together, their weapons drawn. Just ahead of them were seven burning white forms in the clearing beyond. At his appearance they lifted their gaze and one hissed at him. But they did not draw any nearer. Frodo narrowed his eyes. </p><p>When he’d ventured into this realm before by using the Ring, it had been a different experience. The Ring had brought him body and soul into this place and made him into a creature of this realm, like the Nazgul. He’d been able to hear better and see better- even see over vast distances. Sam had suspected that the Ring gave him the ability to understand languages when he’d ventured into the wraith world. </p><p>At any rate, now he was not a creature of this realm and so everything was murky- like looking up at the world from beneath the waters of a cold muddy pond. Sound and sight from the Seen world came to him, but it was muted and vague. </p><p>But the Riders were clear. Frodo had only glimpsed them before but now he stared in terror at them. They were deathly beautiful with such an overpowering menace that he was frozen, and he wondered why they did not attack or even draw nearer. </p><p>Sam was moving and as Frodo watched he seemed to draw from his hip a column of flame. Frodo sucked in a breath. He shouldn’t have been surprised- after all, he’d seen this flame before, when he’d drawn his own barrow blade at Weathertop when the wraiths approached. </p><p>Sam lifted his other hand and a blinding brightness rose. The twin lights shone out illuminating the dark woods in all directions. </p><p><em>Sam’s keeping them back,</em> Frodo realized, <em>that’s what they don’t come. </em>He gasped and stepped back. The Riders were after Merry. If Merry had left the cave, then the Riders would not be out there now trying to get past Sam. Frodo turned back and moved into the cave once more. He was horribly afraid for Sam and the others, but he had a different task. </p><p>“Merry!” he called, raising his voice as he moved deeper into the cave. He was about to call again when he stopped short, catching sight of Merry’s feet, sticking out from a hole near the ground. Frodo peered into the little recess and found Merry staring back at him. He was more terrified than Frodo had ever seen him.</p><p>“Merry!” Frodo cried, tearing up as he did, and got down on his knees, reaching for him. But Merry recoiled.</p><p>“King Théoden was bad enough,” Merry said, as if to himself, “How dare they try to use you, Frodo.” He broke off, covering his mouth and shaking. “I can’t bear this.”</p><p>“Merry?” Frodo tried again, “It’s Frodo. I’ve come. I’m going to bring you out.”</p><p>But Merry didn’t answer, only buried his face in his hands and curled tighter. As Frodo watched he could see a soft cloud of darkness begin to faintly rise from Merry’s form. </p><p>§</p><p>They all stood together facing the Seven and the Seven stared at them. Sam could feel his heart racing in terror. The creeping horror of their presence was making his legs shake. </p><p>“We are here for the Kingslayers,” one of them hissed, “Give them to us, and we will let the rest of you live.” </p><p>“We won’t let you take them,” Pippin cried out. The wraiths laughed.</p><p>“What will you do hobbit?” one of them sneered. Sam flinched at the sound of the voice. Belatedly, he drew his sword and held up the phial.</p><p>“It was a hobbit that stabbed your Witch King,” Pippin shouted, furious, “and a hobbit who killed the one of you who came into our Shire! And it was a hobbit who broke your master’s power! You’re a fool if you still laugh at hobbits!” The Riders watched them silent now and angry. Sam shifted uneasily.</p><p>“I will ask you again,” the wraith said in a cold voice, “Give the Kingslayers to us. Consider your answer carefully.”</p><p>Sam looked to his friends, knowing what the answer would be. He saw Éowyn and Faramir share a look.</p><p>“I feared that this cave would become a prison,” Faramir said softly, “And perhaps it has, but by the stars I will not allow it to become a tomb.” He touched Éowyn’s hand. </p><p>“I am with you in all things,” Éowyn  said softly. Faramir smiled and turned to Pippin and Sam.</p><p>“Are you ready, my friends?” he asked gently.</p><p>“Yes,” Pippin said.</p><p>“Yes,” Sam said. </p><p>“You will not take me,” Éowyn cried, turning to the wraiths and lifting her sword, “and you will not take Merry! Come you vilest of creatures, I have destroyed one of you already, shall this daughter of the Rohirrim slay another one of you?”</p><p>In an instant darkness fell around them. Pippin cried out in alarm, and Sam turned to him, but the blackness was thick and so complete he could not see anything.</p><p>“O Elbereth Starkindler!” he cried into the darkness. He stepped forward and immediately terror and blinding sickness struck him. Sam struggled to draw breath and he blinked, trying to see, tried to draw up the light of the phial but all the light in the world seemed to be snuffed out. “Clear are thy eyes and bright thy breath!” he gasped, trying to bring a faltering melody to his song. He could feel the phial in his hand, but still no light came to his eyes. “Snow-white! Snow-white! We sing to thee; In a far land beyond the sea.” His voice was small and weak.</p><p>Sam wavered, feeling cold malice suddenly directed at him. A deep instinct told him he was being stalked by deadly predators and his body tried to make him slip down and freeze, but Sam fought the urge. Instead he lifted his barrow blade. </p><p>Frodo’s barrow blade was broken by the Witch King when he drew it as he approached Rivendell.</p><p>Merry’s barrow blade was shattered after he stabbed the Witch King.</p><p>And Pippin’s barrow blade likewise, shattered after stabbing the Rider who came into Tookbank.</p><p>
  <em>There’s only mine now. This blade which I thought lost, for I left it with Frodo when I thought him dead. And the enemy took it and used it as a token to try and crush the hope out of our friends. But then it came back to me, when all the sad things fell away for a time there in Minas Tirith. </em>
</p><p>A freezing coldness seized his body, but even so Sam held himself up and raised the sword. </p><p><em>It’s the only thing that touches them. They know it.</em> He gritted his teeth, staggering under the weight of the cold breath freezing him. <em>Though what I’ll do with it against seven of Them I can’t say. And they’ll probably break it in my hand before I even get near them.</em></p><p>
  <em>I wonder why they don’t break it.</em>
</p><p>Merry and Pippin’s attacks had been a surprise to the wraiths they’d stabbed. But Frodo had drawn his blade and it had been shattered by foul magic.</p><p><em>The phial,</em> Sam thought. <em>Maybe I can’t see it’s light, but it’s got power in it. The Lady said it is a light for when all other lights go out</em>. </p><p>The sense of danger suddenly sharpened. Something was very near him now. </p><p>“Lay down that sword halfling,” a cold deadly voice hissed softly to him. “And I will spare your life and the life of Baggins.”</p><p>“Don’t you speak his name you filth!” Sam snapped. There was a hiss. “O Elbereth Starkindler,” Sam sang out, taking up the hymn once more, swinging blindly. If he was going to die then it was going to be with the name <em>Elbereth </em>on his lips, and the name Frodo Baggins in his heart.</p>
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<a name="section0026"><h2>26. A Light in the Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Merry, Merry? Please, look at me.”</p><p>Merry tried to block out the pleas made in Frodo’s voice. But then, it was comforting to hear Frodo. The alternative was listening to the soft whispers of the shadows around them. He could hear those words pressed into his ears whether he would hear them or not. Their words were despair and Merry could feel himself falling into it.</p><p>
  <em>It’s too late for me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The wraiths will come sooner or later and what can I do to resist them? Especially now. No, it’s better to fade. Better if I am not myself when they come.</em>
</p><p>“If I am like them then they won’t attack me,” Merry whispered to himself. “I’ll just be another ghost in the woods.”</p><p>“But you are so much more than that.”</p><p>Merry lifted his face. He’d forgotten about Frodo. He sighed and gazed at him. There were worse visions he supposed, and at least this Frodo wasn’t sneering at him and his words were soft and gentle, even if they were insistent.</p><p>“Please, don’t listen to them. Come back with me. I need you. And there’s so many people who love you.”</p><p>“You don’t need me,” Merry said, smiling a little. This Frodo vision was much more clever than the Théoden one. He promised false hope at least. But Merry knew the truth of it. “I’m not strong or brave or clever like you and Sam and Pippin. I was mostly luggage during the journey. And now, back home what am I? Still luggage. I’m not needed. Our home and our friends are carrying on just fine. Buckland is carrying on just fine. No one needs me, and that’s a little bit of a relief. If the world can carry on, then maybe it’s alright if I just slip away.”</p><p>“Merry,” Frodo cried, “Don’t believe that.” He pressed into the little hole and curled himself close. “You are more than what people need of you. And you are strong and brave and so clever. How can you say otherwise? You pledged yourself to a hopeless quest because you loved me. You stood against an evil that the wise dared not to face. You charmed Ents, and Horselords, you saw through a puzzle that stumped even Gandalf. You are in the songs and you are loved by many people, and you are rightly honored as a savior of all the Free Lands. Whatever is trying to make you think otherwise is a trick.” He took a breath, “And most important to me, you are my Merry. My dear Merry. I carried you in my arms when you were a baby and I have loved you for your whole life. And I will go on loving you.”</p><p>Merry looked up, seeing him for the first time.</p><p>“Frodo,” he said slowly. “It’s really you isn’t it?” Deep fear touched him, the shock bringing back into the moment.</p><p>“Yes. It’s really me.”</p><p>“You stupid hobbit!” Merry cried in a blaze of fury, “I am already dead. What have you done, coming here?”</p><p>“I have come to save you.”</p><p>“For once in your life, Frodo Baggins, save yourself!” Merry breathed, “I am begging you! Go! They are so close now. And I’m so lost to it. Please go. Please!”</p><p>“Not without you,” Frodo said, “I will save myself, but you must let me save you too.”</p><p>Merry shook his head.</p><p>“It’s too late,” he said weakly.</p><p>“I don’t care,” Frodo answered him firmly.</p><p>“Stubborn ass,” Merry hissed.</p><p>“Listen, you have to live,” Frodo said seriously, “otherwise you won’t be able to gloat about being right about me and Sam.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Sam told me that he’s in love with me,” Frodo said, “So. You were right and I was wrong.”</p><p>Merry stared then he smiled, then grinned. The shadows were falling away, quieting.</p><p>“So come back,” Frodo pressed, “and hold it over my head for the rest of my life!”</p><p>“Oh Frodo,” Merry murmured. For the first time in a long while, Merry felt like a hobbit again.</p><p>“Come on, I know you’ve got a spiteful streak.”</p><p>“Oh so do you Frodo Baggins! Don’t you give me that-”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo smiled. Merry gazed at him, then laughed. It was a strange sound in this place and it rang out strong and full of life. He paused and shook his head, happy but now aware of just how weary he was.</p><p>“Lead me then, Frodo. I’ll follow you if you want to try this.”</p><p>§</p><p>They rose together and Frodo took his hand, guiding Merry back to their still shadowy forms. They lay down holding tight to one another’s hands.</p><p>“But what if you can’t save me,” Merry said gently. He held Frodo close. “I believe in you Frodo, but even so, even you have limits.” He sniffed. “Don’t die here. Not if there’s no way to save me.” He drew back. “I want you to have that happiness I kept trying to talk to you into.”</p><p>“I’m going to have that happiness,” Frodo said, “and you are going to be part of it.”</p><p>Merry didn’t answer, only nodded through tears.</p><p>“Hope with me,” Frodo said and closed his eyes.</p><p>“Alright, Frodo.”</p><p>Frodo closed his eyes and let himself feel the weight of both the Seen and Unseen. The Seen was trying to draw him back, had been trying this whole time. It was easy to slip back. The problem was that Merry’s spirit was drawn just as strongly to the Unseen. It was like a tugging match.</p><p>In his mind Frodo could see it, he was falling back into the warm heat of his own flesh and blood, his spirit crossing the barrier- except that he hung stubbornly to Merry hand. Merry was there, frightened and appearing as a pale shade of himself, yet he held just as stubbornly to Frodo.</p><p>The barrier between worlds was hardening and Merry was still on the other side of it. Frodo pulled with the entirety of his will, but he was up against a force of nature.</p><p><em>It doesn’t matter, </em>he thought, and felt himself slip back into a deep powerful core of unceasing determination.</p><p>This force trying to separate them was powerful but Frodo had faced unbearable unyielding power before. He’d met it with an unthinking relentlessness that he would have never guessed lived within his heart. He’d moved his exhausted body up the mountain until the only form of resistance he could offer was crawling. It didn’t matter. He would never stop.</p><p>Merry’s grip tightened and he grabbed Frodo’s arm with his other hand, pulling himself closer through unbearable pressure. His strength surged.</p><p>“No Baggins is more stubborn than a Brandybuck!”</p><p>Frodo cried out in joy as Merry fell through into the Seen and the vision fell away.</p><p>They were in the cave once more. Frodo sat up and touched Merry’s shoulder. Merry opened his eyes and gazed up at him. He was still weak, weaker than he’d ever been, but he was there with them again. Merry squeezed his hand.</p><p>“My anchor,” he said.</p><p>“Always,” Frodo said.</p><p>From the front of the cave came a cry of fear. It had been Pippin’s voice. Frodo turned and saw a pitch, horrible darkness spreading out from the entrance.</p><p>“Go, save them,” Merry urged. Frodo turned back to Merry.</p><p>“One more thing,” he said and lay a hand to Merry’s head. Warm strength grew within him and he sent it to Merry. Merry watched him, and Frodo knew he must be glowing once more, for Merry’s face was lit with an unearthly light. “You’re going to stay here with us,” Frodo said slowly, speaking with power behind his words. “I will use every ounce of my strength to keep you here.” Merry gazed up at him, then reached up to touch his chest.</p><p>“Save some of your strength,” he said. “I’m not the only one in peril. Go, you’ve given me enough of your power. I’ll be alright.”</p><p>Frodo relented, drawing his hand back. He bent down and kissed Merry’s forehead, shared one more look with him, then rose. He turned, facing the darkness and walked into it.</p><p>§</p><p>O Elbereth Starkindler,” Sam gasped into the cold shadow.</p><p>
  <em>Frodo, I told you long ago that these Riders will have to go through me to get to you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh. I love you so.</em>
</p><p>He was alone in a dark so complete that it reminded him of Shelob’s pit. And yet, just as had happened then, the thought of Frodo and the need to protect him was so powerful that it allowed him to rise against a force that would otherwise have decimated him. There was no room for terror, his heart was filled only with fierceness.</p><p>A pin prick of light flared among the darkness. It was drownd out for a moment, but then returned. The glow of the phial was relentless, held in Sam’s hand while his heart was on fire, and it’s power was winning out against the Nazgul’s shadow.</p><p>Something warm touched Sam and he heard a strain of music unspooling from that warmth. His mouth opened and song rose within him, words that he did not know passing through his lips.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <br/>
    <em>Silivren penna míriel</em>
    <br/>
    <em>o menel aglar elenath!</em>
    <br/>
    <em>Na-chaered palan-díriel</em>
    <br/>
    <em>o galadhremmin ennorath,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>O Elbereth! Gilthoniel!</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>The song left him, but the strength remained. Sam could see once more. The phial burned bright pushing back the remaining darkness until it broke. The Seven were standing in a circle around him. Though their knives were out, and they were frozen by the light. Beyond them, Sam could also see his friends once more. They were on the ground but blinking in the brightness, slowly rising once more.</p><p>The nearest wraith moved closer. Pippin jumped to his feet and raised his blade. One of the wraiths turned and in an instance Pippin’s sword shattered and he let out a cry of fear. Then Éowyn and Faramir’s blades too snapped and lay in ruin. The wraith laughed and turned back to Sam.</p><p>“Don’t let this one fool you,” the Wraith said to his companions. “His toys may be able to break spells but without them he is nothing.” The Wraith moved closer, looking down at Sam with burning eyes. “What now hole dweller? Your friends are powerless to help you. Will you stab me? That will break your little blade. The other Kings will kill you before you can strike a second time.”</p><p>Sam didn’t answer. He looked up, heart blazing. The Wraith raised his blade.</p><p>“It will be a slow death for you, nuisance,” the Wraith spat at him. Sam trembled.</p><p>“<em>You will not touch him</em>.”</p><p>Sam gasped. He didn’t dare to turn but that had been Frodo’s voice, though his words had been wrapped in a power that Sam had never felt.</p><p>The Wraiths were frozen once more. Sam did not know if it was from the power in the words or only from their surprise. There was a touch at Sam’s back, a warm hand, palm pressed reassuringly between his shoulders.</p><p>“Frodo,” Sam breathed. And from the corner of his eye he saw Frodo’s face as they stood close together.</p><p>“I’m here,” Frodo said gently, “I will not let you face this nightmare alone any longer.”</p><p>Relief, love and a sense of safety- It was all there in Frodo’s voice and in his touch, never mind that they were surrounded by Nazgûl.</p><p>“You will both beg for death before I am finished with you,” the wraith said quietly. Sam’s sense of safety faded away, but the unity and love he felt with Frodo at his side did not. Sam looked up at the wraith, facing the terror.</p><p>Light burned in his heart and song rose up within him once more, but having Frodo near made that power come as it never had before. Starlight touched his mind and to his surprise, he could feel Frodo lifted up by the wave of power as well. And so they sang out together, their voices ringing as one.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <br/>
    <em>A! Elbereth Gilthoniel!</em>
    <br/>
    <em>We who wander from hill to fell</em>
    <br/>
    <em>now sing your name for those we love,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>and lift our eyes to thy light above</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Frodo’s touch at his back burned and suddenly the sword in Sam’s hand burst into flame. The wraith stepped back, crying out in fury. Sam could only stare, wide eyed in alarm and wonder.</p><p>The wraith moved close again, and brought down his sword with a thundering strength. Sam met him and as the blades hit they rang out with a terrible sound. The force of the blow felt as if it had shattered Sam’s arms. The pain smote him and yet he held the blade still. The wraith pulled back, readying for another strike.</p><p>
  <em>My bones must be broken, and yet…</em>
</p><p>Frodo was there, soft words of healing and strength whispered in his ear. Sam held the flaming sword up. He knew that he had no chance- there were so many of them- but still he raised his barrow blade.</p><p>
  <em>We’ve passed through fire and gone without hope and stood at the brink of death before. It’s alright. I am with him and he is with me.</em>
</p><p>“I love you,” Sam breathed. Before Frodo could answer, the flames of Sam’s sword rose, seized by some greater power. The fire burned white and climbed up into the sky. The wraiths screamed and turned, fleeing, but the flames fell down upon them, searing their robes.</p><p>Sam stood still, heart pounding, terrified of the power in his hands, not understanding what had happened. He felt Frodo clasp him and he pointed to the forest.</p><p>“Look!” he whispered in Sam's ear.</p><p>From beneath the rise came a glow of white light. It built as a figure walked up the rise to meet them. His face was masked in a blazing glory of light but even so Sam could not miss who had come to their aid.</p><p>“Mr. Gandalf!” Sam cried.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. The Fall of the Nazgûl</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>White fire fell upon the Nazgûl, and though they shrieked in fury, Frodo could see that they were not falling to it.</p><p><em>No,</em> <em>of course not,</em> he realized,<em> it’s the barrow blade’s fire- it’s broken the spell on their bodies, but that’s all.</em></p><p>The Nazgûl who had brought his blade down on Sam turned, fixing them in his cold gaze. </p><p><em>Rage, </em>Frodo thought, numbly as his heart began to pound, <em>that’s fathomless rage.</em></p><p>“No!” Sam cried, raising his sword, shaking. The Nazgûl reached out and grasped the blade in his hand, wrenching it from Sam’s grasp. He moved with lightning speed, his sword stabbing forward for Sam’s heart. The wraith was quick, but he was not faster than Frodo.</p><p>Frodo slipped in front and took the blow, his ears full of Sam’s scream. </p><p>Light bloomed around them, cool and silvery, like a moonrise spreading across a field. Frodo groaned in pain and tried to stay standing. The Nazgûl might try again and he would not allow that knife to touch any more of his loved ones. </p><p>There were no more blows, the Nazgûl had turned away at the sudden light. Frodo found that he’d sunk to the ground after all. He blinked, his ears ringing. Gandalf was there, surrounded by dark figures. He was the moonrise.</p><p>A hand touched his face and Frodo found that he was being cradled in Sam’s arms. He touched Sam’s hand.</p><p>“Mithril shirt,” he croaked out. The ringing was so loud that he couldn’t hear himself. He hoped Sam had heard him. Sam was crying, tears rolling down his cheeks. He reached up, touching Sam’s cheek. “It’s alright,” he said, again without hearing himself. </p><p>The cry of the Nazgûl was enough to break through the ringing. Frodo turned and it seemed to him like a golden bloom made all of light was flowering around them. He watched, holding tight to Sam’s hand. Another figure was walking up the rise, cloaked in burning glory.</p><p>If Gandalf was a moonrise, then Galadriel was the sun. Her golden light destroyed all the soft shadow left by Gandalf’s light. Her power was hot and harsh and fierce. A wraith turned and charged at her, darkness billowing up from his ragged cloak until he was only a mass of night and icy cold. From Frodo’s perspective it was like watching an eclipse- darkness moving over the light, blotting out day.</p><p>But Galadriel lifted her face and sang out, with words so powerful that they slipped past mortal ears, and where there had been night, the wraith’s power fell apart. The Nazgûl stood before her, diminished. Gandalf’s light rose around the wraiths, holding them where they stood. Galadriel sang once more and Frodo had to blink, wondering if the vision he was seeing was real.</p><p>From the ground came golden seedlings, made entirely from light, rising up from the soil, growing so quickly that in an instant they were up surrounding the Nazgûl, then rising over their heads, then growing so thick that Frodo lost sight of the wraiths. There was only towering glowing growth, binding and twisting together into a massive tree of light.  </p><p>There was a final scream and Frodo felt a shudder pass over him, and then the vision fell away. The cloaks of the Nazgûl lay in the dirt, empty and burning.</p><p>Gandalf at once, turned away and moved toward them. Frodo lifted himself up and bolted to him as fast as his aching body would allow, with Sam just behind him. Gandalf knelt and opened his arms as both hobbits came to him. Frodo squeezed his eyes shut as he cried in relief as Gandalf hugged them. Frodo turned and touched Sam’s shoulder looking to his face. They were both so stunned and relieved they couldn’t speak. There was a yip of excitement and then Pippin crashed into their huddle. </p><p>“Pippin Took,” Gandalf scolded, but the joy in his voice gave him away. He reached out and ruffled his curls. Frodo drew back. </p><p>“Merry,” he said and fresh tears fell. Gandalf straightened.</p><p>“How is he?”</p><p>“I brought him back from the wraith world but, oh. Gandalf. He’s so…” Gandalf sent Frodo an amazed look but didn’t press. </p><p>“Where is he?” </p><p>Frodo sprang up and led Gandalf to the cave. </p><p>§</p><p>Sam stood on weak legs, too stunned and shaken to do anything for a moment. He began to follow after Frodo, but paused as he caught sight of Faramir and Éowyn, sitting together, their arms around one another. He walked over and stood awkwardly.</p><p>“Are you both alright?” Sam heard himself ask. He was amazed to hear his own voice sound so steady.</p><p>Éowyn smiled faintly at him.</p><p>“We will be,” she said quietly. Sam nodded and moved off, going to the cave. He could hear Galardriel’s voice rising once more in song and he moved quicker, afraid of her overwhelming power. </p><p>Sam entered the cave and found Gandalf bent over Merry. Frodo and Pippin were huddled together on Merry’s other side. As Sam came closer and knelt he saw Merry move to look at him and caught his breath. </p><p>“Hey Sam,” he said weakly.</p><p>“Hey there, Mr. Merry,” Sam whispered and warm tears fell down his cheeks. Frodo crawled over and put his arms around Sam. Sam choked and he grasped Frodo, running his hands up and down his chest.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Sam whispered.</p><p>“Fine,” Frodo whispered back. A floodgate of tears opened and Sam sobbed in relief. Frodo gathered him closer. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry.” </p><p>Sam didn’t answer. He wasn’t capable of answering, only able to lay in Frodo’s arms, and feel him breathe.</p><p>After a time, Faramir and Éowyn came into the cave and took up a place beside the hobbits, watching as Gandalf worked. His hands lay over Merry’s side and he was speaking soft words in a whisper. </p><p>Sam drifted, listening and fearing, but his heart was comforted by Gandalf and by Frodo’s presence, and seeing Merry awake was a joy that Sam still couldn’t quite fathom. </p><p>At last Gandalf straightened and put a hand to Merry’s head.</p><p>“Strong hobbit,” he said gently. Merry smiled. Gandalf turned his attention to the rest of them. “I must make ready to ride to Rivendell. Any of you who are able, come and pack a bag for Merry. Frodo, come tell me what you were able to do. The rest of you, stay and keep him warm.”</p><p>Frodo’s arms loosened and Sam sat up.</p><p>“I’ll stay,” Sam whispered. “I don’t feel like I can do much.”</p><p>“Are you alright?” Frodo whispered back, touching his face and peering at him. </p><p>“Alright,” Sam nodded. Frodo’s eyes softened and he leaned in, kissing Sam’s cheek. </p><p>Frodo, Pippin, and Faramir rose and followed Gandalf out. Sam lay down and curled up next to Merry, exhausted. Merry glanced at him and clasped his hand, but they were both too tired to do much else. </p><p>Galadirel entered the cave and came to sit beside them. She was not wrapped in power now, but even so her presence filled the air. She leaned in and touched Merry’s forehead.</p><p>“Hello,” Merry whispered.</p><p>“Hello Merry Brandybuck,” she said quietly. Her eyes moved to Sam. “Hello Sam Gamgee. How do you fair?”</p><p>“I’ve been better, suppose,” Sam said blinking, “But other than this late hardness I’ve been well. Yourself?”</p><p>“I’ve faired well.”</p><p>“Tell her about your forestry work,” Merry urged in a whisper and turned his gaze to Galadriel. “Sam’s gained a reputation back home, thanks to your dirt.”</p><p>“Blessed soil,” Sam tried to growl and be playful for Merry, but he didn’t have the strength. </p><p>“I’m very glad to hear it,” Galadriel said smiling. Merry stroked Sam’s hand.</p><p><em>He’s trying to comfort me, </em>Sam thought and had to blink away more tears. </p><p>§</p><p>“Merry is such a strong spirit,” Gandalf said quietly as they exited the cave. He turned to the woods and whistled. Pippin blinked, looking out to the trees.</p><p>“Will he be alright?” he asked.</p><p>“I have hope that he will, but he really must get to Rivendell,” Gandalf said. “There is no time to waste now.”</p><p>“I’m going too,” Frodo said. Gandalf turned back, even as Shadowfax trotted up to them, holding his head high. </p><p>“I’m sorry Frodo,” he said gently, “there isn’t room, and I must ride as fast as I can.”</p><p>Frodo bowed his head and didn’t speak. Pippin glanced at him, feeling very sorry for Frodo. He’d found his pack and was digging through it. His hand touched what he was looking for and he drew it out, moving to Gandalf, holding it up.</p><p>“This is the hilt of the blade that Merry was stabbed with,” he said quietly. “We saved it in case it can tell something of his wound.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Gandalf said, taking it gingerly. Faramir came up, and held out his own bag, giving it to Gandalf.</p><p>“I’m not sure what Merry will need for the trip, but I have packed blankets and food and <em>athelas</em>.” Gandalf thanked him and put the bag over Shadowfax’s neck. He knelt then by Frodo.</p><p>“Now tell me briefly what you were able to do, dear hobbit,” he said softly. Frodo raised his gaze, and began to relay how he’d ventured into the Unseen. Pippin listened, awed.</p><p>“You did very well, Frodo,” Gandalf said quietly, “Far better than you know.” Frodo nodded and Gandalf clasped his shoulder. “Come! Tell Merry you’ll see him again soon, for we must go.”</p><p>They entered the cave once more and Frodo knelt by Merry and Sam. Pippin hung back, watching.</p><p>“I’ll be alright,” Merry said softly, “don't you fret Frodo.” Frodo only cried and clasped his hand. “Oh you silly Baggins,” Merry sighed and laughed breathlessly. </p><p>“Silly Brandybuck,” Frodo replied, smiling. Merry eased and looked up at him.</p><p>“Love you,” he said quietly. </p><p>“Love you too,” Frodo sniffed. They paused together for a few moments more, before Frodo moved back, letting Éowyn and Faramir kneel at Merry’s side to bid him goodbye. Pippin watched Frodo sit, trembling and teary, until Sam crawled over to him. He turned to Sam and Sam pulled him into an embrace. </p><p>“Peregrin,” Gandalf said quietly. Pippin looked up. “You look after Frodo and Sam, hm?” Pippin brightened.</p><p>“I always do.”</p><p>“Good Took,” Gandalf said, patting his back before he moved to Shadowfax and climbed up on his back. “Lady Éowyn? Bring Merry here, would you?” he called. </p><p>Éowyn gathered Merry and gently lifted him, bringing him out of the cave. Gandalf bent and took Merry up into his arms, settling him in front where he could cradle him as he rode. </p><p>“We will not say farewell,” Gandalf called out, “only good bye for now!”</p><p>He spoke softly and the horse turned, moving off at a tremendous speed. Pippin watched him disappear among the trees. He was hit with a sudden unexpected heartache, and realized he was crying.</p><p>
  <em>Is this what Merry felt when he watched Gandalf spirit me away? </em>
</p><p>That thought made his tears come harder. He turned away and found Sam and Frodo standing just a short ways off. He ran to them and threw his arms around the pair of them. Both seemed surprised, but Pippin felt them both wrap him in a tight embrace. They had been gazing at each other and it only occurred to Pippin now that they had probably been having a moment. </p><p><em>Oops</em>, he thought, but couldn’t feel too sorry for it.</p><p>“Merry is strong,” Frodo whispered to them both, “you heard Gandalf. We can only believe in him now.”</p><p>“He’s in good hands,” Sam whispered back, “none better. Mr. Gandalf will get him there.” He paused, hugging Pippin closer, “Ah, he took care of you, didn’t he, Mr. Pippin?”</p><p>“No,” Pippin said sullenly.</p><p>“Oh, that’s right,” Sam murmured weakly, “he was teaching you a lesson.”</p><p>“Pippin Took, he did so take care of you, naughty hobbit,” Frodo said, wiping away his tears.</p><p>Pippin felt a ghost of a smile. He took a moment to gather himself, then lifted his face.</p><p>“Sam! That was amazing what you did!” he said, “All that fire!” Sam looked perturbed. Pippin blinked and turned to Frodo, adding, “and you were good too Frodo.” Sam’s scowl only grew darker but Frodo laughed quietly. </p><p>“Don’t be silly,” Sam scolded Pippin, “I didn’t do anything. That was all Mr. Frodo.”</p><p>“You made that fire, Frodo?” Pippin gasped.</p><p>“Ah. No,” Frodo blinked, “I only made it visible.” Sam and Pippin both stared at him. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“The fire- you can see it in the Unseen. It’s part of the sword.” He frowned. “Dúnedain magic.”</p><p>“The barrow blades are magic flaming swords?” Pippin gasped. </p><p>“Suppose so,” Frodo said. Pippin looked up at him.</p><p>“Let’s go rob more graves.”</p><p>Frodo and Sam stared at him. </p><p>“Pippin Took!” Faramir called out, “What unholy acts are you proposing? And to whose ancestors?”</p><p>“Never mind then!” Pippin huffed. </p><p>“Do you all need to rest, or would you prefer to set out?”</p><p>Everyone turned and found Galadriel had emerged from the cave and was watching them. </p><p>“You’re staying with us?” Faramir asked her. Galadriel nodded.</p><p>“I will bring you safely to Rivendell,” she said. There was a stunned pause. </p><p>“Lady, begging your pardon,” Sam said when no one else spoke, “I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m very tired. Yet, even so, I want to go on.”</p><p>“There’s no need to make yourself sick from exhaustion,” Galadriel said, her voice softening as she beheld Sam. “Did you all ride here?”</p><p>“We had a cart,” Frodo said, “and a pony to pull it, but the pony was spooked by the wraiths and we had to abandon the cart a few miles back.” Galadriel brightened.</p><p>“Oh a few miles?” she smiled and turned to Sam again, “what’s the pony’s name?”</p><p>“Sweet Pea,” Sam said. Galadriel nodded and walked off into the trees.</p><p>“Wait here,” she called. They watched her go.</p><p>“Well if that don’t beat all,” Sam breathed to Frodo and Pippin. “We’ll get to Rivendell proper, yet.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Btw, feel completely free to call out questions. I'm writing up Gandalf's explanation of what all happened with the Nazgul and you might think of something I haven't. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. The Approach</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Mr. Frodo.”</p><p>Frodo turned to see Sam walking up from behind. He and Pippin had been seated on a bit of crumbling wall, cooling their feet in the River Hoarwell. Galadriel had indeed found Sweet Pea, much to Sam’s delight, and they’d recovered the cart and begun to make their way to Rivendell, reaching the Last Bridge just after one o’clock. They would be passing into Trollshawl and then on to Rivendell.  </p><p>But first, they were taking a short break for an early afternoon meal. Frodo leaned back against the wall as Sam drew near.  There was light in Sam’s eyes. </p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>Sam folded his arms on the wall behind Frodo, smiling and playful.</p><p>“Would you like to take a little walk down the river? It’s very pretty.” </p><p>Frodo grinned, suddenly giddy, and tried not to sputter and blush like a tween invited for his first walking out.</p><p>“Yes, I’d like that very much,” he said. Pippin giggled. Together they rose and slipped away, moving down the riverbed, splashing in the shallows.</p><p>“We shouldn’t go too far,” Frodo murmured, “I don’t want to delay luncheon.”</p><p>“We shan't. Mr. Faramir was still cleaning the fish he caught for us. We’ve a bit of time.” </p><p>“Mm.” </p><p>At last they came to a shady place where the dark stone rocks made gentle little waterfalls, and were covered in soft green moss. Frodo settled on the bank and Sam came to sit with him. </p><p> They glanced at each other, both a little nervous. </p><p>“Where do we even start?” Sam asked. Frodo smiled at him. </p><p><em>Oh, dear hobbit, </em>Frodo thought. He was very glad that Sam wanted to talk.</p><p>“I’m not sure,” Frodo said. They paused once more. “Maybe, we start with how this will change things.”</p><p>“There’s a lot I don’t want to change,” Sam admitted. Frodo nodded.</p><p>“I want to keep living with you,” he said. “And doing our jobs, and all the rest.”</p><p>“Me too,” Sam said. </p><p>“But do you suppose,” Frodo felt his heart pick up, “we could do some of the things that courting couples do?” he asked shyly.</p><p>“Can we be a courting couple?” Sam asked. Frodo met his eyes.</p><p>“I would like that. Would you?” </p><p>“Yes,” Sam breathed, smiling.</p><p>“Then, we’ll court,” Frodo said, a nervous bubble of euphoria rising inside him. Sam beamed. “I think it will be nice to try things while we’re in Rivendell,” Frodo added, “We won’t have much to trouble us, and it’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen.”</p><p>“Oh, yes, that will be nice,” Sam brightened. “We. Ah. We could go into the little grotto by the falls and… it’s such a nice place for a kiss, I always thought.”</p><p>“I would like that,” Frodo sighed. Sam gave him a shy happy look.</p><p>“You really do want to do such things with me?” Sam asked softly. “I’m sorry to go on so. It just don’t seem real.” Frodo sat up a little, nodding as he pondered Sam’s words. </p><p>“Yes, I do want those things with you,” he said. Sam smiled and twined their fingers. Frodo watched, gathering his thoughts. “I fell in love with you on our journey,” he went on, “and then the Ring began to hide those feelings from me. Over and over it stole my memories of the tenderest times we shared. But despite its work, we kept making new memories. And so I fell in love with you, again and again and again.” Frodo paused, “and then it hurt me so badly at the end, that it seemed like I would lose it all forever. My heart was untethered from everything and Ring’s poison still lay within me. It kept me from making new tender memories with you. It was only after I went to Rivendell and had the Elves' healing and gift of magic that I began to be able to feel things properly again. I came home to you, and once more, I fell in love with you.” He took a breath. “Perhaps it doesn’t feel real to you because I never acted like those things happened. That must have hurt you. You must have thought all the loving moments between us didn’t matter to me.”</p><p>“I didn’t think that,” Sam said seriously. “Never that. I was confused sometimes by you, but I knew that thing was working on you and that after you were hurt by it. And anyway,” he paused, “you always took time to make me feel loved, whether you remembered it later or not. It gives me such strength feeling you love me. Always has.”</p><p>Frodo clasped Sam’s hand with both of his own. </p><p>“I’m very glad,” Frodo said, “And you have always made me feel so loved.”</p><p>“Good,” Sam said gently. “Ever since Mr. Bilbo left, I’ve tried to do what I could to make you feel cared for. Before too, but I took more notice after.” He paused. “And when the troubles came for you and Mr. Gandalf said you must go away, I started to realize just how dear you were to me.  Couldn’t bear the idea of you going off by yourself. And then we weren’t long on the road before I started feeling more than friendly to you.” He paused again, casting eyes down, shy. </p><p>“I don’t know when I fell in love with you, exactly, but I remember there was a night not long after Weathertop, when I was holding you, keeping you warm, and I wanted to tell you that I loved you, but I didn’t cause I thought that might seem like I thought you were going to die. And I was too shy anyway. I just rubbed your back and sang to you and hoped you understood that I loved you. And then in Rivendell I started to see what kind of love I had for you.” He laughed. “When you woke I wanted to take you in my arms and kiss you. But then there was so much for you to handle, and I saw the job was so big that it wasn’t the time for telling you my heart. I just wanted to be with you and keep you safe.”</p><p>Frodo squeezed his hand. </p><p>“Frodo! Sam!”</p><p>It was a call from up the river, and it was Pippin’s voice.</p><p>“Lunch! Hurry or I won’t save you both any!”</p><p>“Yes you will!” Frodo shouted back. He turned to Sam, softening. “I suppose we must take a pause on this. But, we aren’t finished with this conversation.”</p><p>“No, I shouldn’t think so,” Sam agreed.</p><p>§</p><p>After luncheon, they set off once more, crossing the bridge and descended into a more hilly terrain. By late afternoon the hills had climbed and the low places sunk into deep ravines. At the tops of the hills there were ruined towers and stone foundations. Bilbo’s trolls were somewhere near by. Frodo watched it all slide past.</p><p>They stopped to camp as darkness fell, not bothering now to pull the cart off and hide it from the road. They found a wide place and parked, then set about building a fire. Frodo let his eyes wander up a slight hill above the area Pippin had picked out for the fire. There was a short circular wall that rose up from the rock, the base of a long fallen tower. The bottom looked sturdy enough though, and there was a passable way to walk up the hill to inspect it. Curious, Frodo decided to investigate.</p><p>As he approached the little tower he listened out for sounds of any animals about, but there was nothing. He peered in through the stone archway that would have had a door in days past but now stood empty. There was nothing within the stone walls but for a few branches. It was dry and, to Frodo’s eyes, cozy. He pondered the place a moment more, then slipped out, walking back down to their camp.</p><p>“Excuse me, Lady,” Frodo said hesitantly. Galadriel turned and smiled down at him.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“I would like to sleep up in that tower if I might. I’ll take Sam up with me,” he added, “do you think that would be alright?”</p><p>“Are you asking my permission?” Galadriel asked, looking amused.</p><p>“Well, there are trolls and creatures and…” Frodo trailed off, feeling a little foolish. “I suppose I’m asking if you think it’s safe.”</p><p>“Ah,” Galadriel said. She considered the question much longer than Frodo would have expected. “Safe from trolls? Creatures? Yes. You have nothing to fear in that way.” She sent him a mysterious look. </p><p>“Thank you,” Frodo said and retreated. </p><p>§</p><p>Despite their errand, dinner was more relaxed than they’d been in days. There was still some somberness, for they were all still worried, but even so Sam sang for everyone while he helped Faramir roast mushrooms and sausages. Sam made up a plate and took it to Galadriel who had set herself off away from the fire, where she could peer up at the stars. Frodo watched him, smiling.</p><p>“Lady?” he heard Sam say. “I’ve brought you some very nice pork sausage which the Tooks make up- oh. The Tooks, they’re an old family of hobbits. Ah. At any rate, it’s very good sausage, if I may say. And also,” he passed the plate into her hands, “The shrooms are wood bluwits, and I’ve got them seasoned with a bit of rock salt and butter, and there also some roasted sweet onions as well.” He paused. “I hope you like it.” Galadriel held the plate up, her eyes closing in pleasure at the smell. </p><p>“Thank you, Sam Gamgee. It looks delicious,” she said. Sam straightened, and even without seeing his face, Frodo could read his movements well enough to know that Sam was blushing with pride. He made his way back over to the fire and took a seat next to Frodo, still glowing at the compliment.  </p><p>Pippin launched into a story about guarding in the citadel, with Faramir chiming in every so often. Eowyn curled sleepily into Faramir’s side, smiling at Pippin. There was laugher around the fire.</p><p>Frodo leaned in close to Sam and sent him a look.</p><p>“I thought we might sleep up on the hill, in that little tower, if that sounds alright to you?” he asked quietly. Sam looked surprised and he glanced up, then back at Frodo. His surprise melted into a shy smile. </p><p>“Yes, I’d like that. So, that’s where my bag got to!” </p><p>“Yes, I’m sorry,” Frodo whispered, “I was presumptuous and took your things.” Sam laughed, delighted and Frodo felt a nudge from Sam’s foot.</p><p>“You just go on being presumptuous,” he said softly. “I don’t mind a bit.”</p><p>After they were finished, Frodo brought Sam up the little hill and they slipped into the ruined tower. The small dirt circle was dry and free from leaves, and Frodo had spread their blankets out, making the small space feel as comfortable as it could be. Frodo sat with his back to the wall and Sam took a seat as well. </p><p>“It is nice,” Sam admired.</p><p>“I thought so,” Frodo said, leaning back to look up. There was no roof, just a circle of starry sky. </p><p>“And did we come up here to have a bit more of our talk?” Sam asked quietly. Frodo brought his gaze back down to Sam. He shifted a little closer. The night was chilly, and he wanted to be closer to Sam. </p><p>“I think we’ll go on having our talk for some time,” Frodo said gently.</p><p>“No rush then? Good,” Sam said, curling close, “I’ve got a belly full of mushrooms and sausage and if I cuddle up, then I’m sure to get sleepy.” Frodo chuckled.</p><p>“You go on then. I just want to be near you.”</p><p>Sam smiled and they sat together in warm silence.</p><p>“Hm. But then you did bring us up here for a reason?” Sam murmured. </p><p>“Just to be with you,” Frodo breathed, feeling the peace of a good meal settling, and the peace of Sam’s presence. “And be with you in a place where neither of us would feel uncomfortable if we were to be a little bolder in our cuddling.”</p><p>“Oh,” Sam said, interest in his voice. “How so? What might we do?” he whispered.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Frodo admitted quietly. Sam curled closer and stroked the back of Frodo’s hand.</p><p>“Maybe we can just try out some things? See what feels good?” he said, settling himself more fully into Frodo’s arms. Frodo gathered him close, nervous joy running through his body.</p><p>“Yes,” he breathed, putting his nose into Sam’s curls. Sam nuzzled into his shoulder, clasping him. </p><p><em>How long has it been since I just took time to love him? </em>Frodo wondered.<em> No worries to soothe away, nothing else on our minds. Time to just hold him in my arms...</em></p><p>Frodo wasn’t sure exactly. They’d shared some very cozy evenings together in their home in Michel Delving, but there had always been work hanging over them and too many things to think about. Frodo’s time in the Shire before the trip to Rivendell was hazy in his mind. There might have been good times, but he couldn’t really recall any time that he would have said was devoted to Sam. He was too much inside his own head back then. </p><p>Minas Tirith maybe.</p><p>He’d been a bit numb, but he had been free, and he understood from the moment of waking how much Sam loved him. They’d both needed comfort and had found it by curling themselves together. </p><p>But this was better. Far better.</p><p>Sam was warm and happy and responsive to his touch. And he was in love with him. Frodo stroked his hair and bent his face down to kiss Sam’s eartip. Sam sighed in contentment. Frodo turned his head and pressed more kisses to Sam’s ear. He was gentle now; these weren’t the playful ticklish kisses he’d given Sam in the past. Sam’s arms tightened around him, and his hands began to rub in slow patterns along his back. </p><p>“Mm,” Sam murmured as Frodo cupped his head.</p><p>“Mm?” </p><p>“Frodo,” Sam said breathlessly. He lifted his face and sat up a little. His eyes held an intensity that Frodo had only seen a few times. He set his hands to cup Frodo’s cheeks and leaned in, the intensity in his eyes melting into warm bliss. Frodo was caught in it, enthralled. </p><p>Sam touched his nose to Frodo’s, his eyes slipping shut. He nuzzled in one slow circle. He stilled and opened his eyes, gazing at Frodo. Frodo melted at the sweetness of the gesture and all that it meant. He nuzzled back, catching hold of Sam once more to pull him close. He nuzzled with more enthusiasm now. </p><p>Sam laughed, and it was a beautiful sound. Frodo found himself smiling. He stilled, pausing for one moment to look into Sam’s face and see all the love and joy there. Then, Frodo leaned in and turned his face. He kissed Sam. </p><p>Sam shivered at the touch, and drew Frodo into his arms. </p><p>“Mmh,” he whimpered. Frodo hummed back to sooth him, before gently pressing his tongue in for a deeper kiss. Sam shivered harder now, and he kissed back, palm coming up to cup the back of Frodo’s neck.</p><p>They slip apart, breaths coming quick and excited. Sam’s face was lit in awe and joy and love.</p><p>“Oh, Frodo,” he sighed, “It’s the sweetest thing, kissing you!” He made it sound like some priceless discovery. </p><p>“And you,” Frodo, said, his voice full of emotion as he moved close again, already aching to fall back into a kiss with Sam. Sam hummed catching on, and leaned in meeting Frodo for more.</p><p>Sam kissed with an intensity that made him feel deeply wanted without the kiss turning demanding or sloppy. Frodo admired the grace of Sam’s movements and hoped that he was making a good impression as well. When they drew back a second time though, Sam’s expression was dazed and euphoric, leaving Frodo feeling that he must not have done too badly. A warm glow of love and contentment bloomed within him and Frodo shifted close to stroke Sam’s hair and dust small kisses to his forehead and cheeks.</p><p>“Was that nice, my dear?” he asked.</p><p>“Nice don’t cover it,” Sam smiled. </p><p>It still felt a little unreal, but then again, kissing Sam also felt like the most natural thing. </p><p>“Sam,” Frodo whispered as he moved to kiss Sam’s ear. </p><p>“Ah?” Sam sighed. </p><p>“May I take off my mithril?”</p><p>Sam came out of his daze and blinked, drawing back, then he blushed. Frodo smiled and stroked his warm cheek. </p><p>“We could lay down,” Frodo soothed, “and I could feel you warm against me,” he whispered. “I’ve missed that.” Sam’s expression softened. </p><p>“I’d like that but,” he frowned even as Frodo resumed kissing his ear. Sam clutched him, falling silent, distracted by Frodo’s touch. </p><p>“But,” Frodo whispered against his skin. </p><p>“We’re still out in the Wild.”</p><p>“Galadriel is with us.”</p><p>“Yes….” </p><p>There was a frown in Sam’s voice. Frodo drew back and peered into his face. Sam gazed at him, imploring him with his eyes. </p><p>“Alright,” Frodo smiled, “I’ll keep it on.”</p><p>“Just one more night,” Sam said, “we ought to be to Rivendell tomorrow.” He leaned close, cupping Frodo’s cheek. His eyes were dark and soft. “And I’ll keep you warm where the mithril don’t cover you.” Frodo felt a soft rolling shiver go up his spine. He’d never been affected by Sam’s voice like that.</p><p>“Keep me warm then,” Frodo breathed. Sam paused, then put his free arm around Frodo’s back. Frodo stilled, fascinated by the expression on Sam’s face. Slowly, Sam pulled him close, and kissed him. Frodo melted into it, wrapping his arms around Sam’s back. He let Sam guide him. </p><p>They kissed and whispered to one another until sleepiness crept over them. Pauses between words grew and they leaned heavier into one another, falling asleep in each other’s arms. </p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. A Homely House</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was afternoon when they passed under the plinth that marked the entrance to Rivendell. Éowyn parked the cart in the wide courtyard under a great oak, and the hobbits climbed down.</p><p>Galadriel rose from the seat beside her and stepped down, gazing up at the pavilions and halls of the Last Homely House.</p><p>Frodo turned to see Gandalf coming down the steps to meet them.</p><p>“Merry?” Frodo asked, by way of a greeting.</p><p>“Sleeping for now,” Gandalf said, “Frodo, you come with me,” he paused before calling out, “and just Frodo,” he added, glancing at Sam and Pippin. Sam glowered a little and Pippin stuck his tongue out.</p><p>Frodo was up the stairs and following behind Gandalf, who had turned away.</p><p>“Only me?” he pressed as they walked together.</p><p>“I’m passing on Elrond’s instructions,” Gandalf replied a little sheepishly.</p><p>“How is Merry?”</p><p>“Elrond had to open his side,” Gandalf said quietly. He turned back at Frodo’s gasp.</p><p>“Then there was a shard within him?” Frodo asked. Gandalf shook his head.</p><p>“No, but we had to check and we had to cut away the withered flesh.” He patted Frodo’s back, “He said that you removed the blade. It was well done. Those blades are designed to break and shed fragments once they are within a body. You pulled it out cleanly though. And since the surgery, he has woken for a few short periods.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m so relieved,” Frodo said, clutched Gandalf’s hand. “But what will it mean? Will he have less hardship than I had? Will he have an annual sickness? Is the poison all gone from him?”</p><p>“We took out what we could, but it is still a Morgul wound,” Gandalf said slowly, “I do not know how it will affect him.”</p><p>“But he’s already stronger than I was.”</p><p>“You didn’t have someone healing you throughout your sickness, nor pouring their life essence into you, as you did for Merry.”</p><p>“Is that what I did?”</p><p>Gandalf nodded.</p><p>“No matter what hardships come to him, he has you and Pippin and Sam. And the love between all of you is perhaps the most important factor in his recovery. Ah, here we are,” Gandalf said, pausing at a tall door frame.</p><p>They entered the room and there sitting at Merry’s bedside was Bilbo. His chair was close and he held Merry’s hand. He looked up as they entered and smiled.</p><p>“Ah, there you are, Frodo,” he said. Frodo bolted to him and leaned down to wrap Bilbo in a hug. Bilbo petted his hair and hugged him back. “I hear you’ve had more adventures. Naughty hobbit, you have to write them down before you go off having more.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Frodo murmured.</p><p>“I’ll leave you for now,” Gandalf said, stepping back to the door. Frodo lifted his face from Bilbo’s shoulder and gazed at Gandalf.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said. Gandalf smiled and nodded, making his exit. Frodo set his cheek back to Bilbo’s shoulder for a moment more, then drew back and turned to Merry. He lay close to the side, small in the large bed. He was dressed in a golden soft robe and he was clean, with washed hair.</p><p>“Poor Merry-lad,” Bilbo murmured and reached out to stroke his hand.</p><p>“Gandalf said he's woken. Have you been with him while he was awake?” Frodo whispered.</p><p>“Oh yes. I was with him when he was awake a bit yesterday after the surgery.” He smiled. “The Elves were amazed he was awake at all,” Bilbo chuckled, “they were whispering about the strength of hobbits and all that. Merry heard them, clever boy, and said, ‘oh, that’s because of Frodo. He gave his strength so that I could remain in the Seen and hold out a bit longer. And I don’t dare go and die after that.’ Whatever you did, lad, Merry is under the impression that he would not have survived without you.” Frodo didn’t answer, just reached out and put his hand over Merry’s. He felt Bilbo’s hand on his back and all the tension in his body faded. It was such a comfort to have Bilbo there.</p><p>After a time, Bilbo turned to Frodo and studied him.</p><p>“You look well,” he said. Frodo let his eyes move back to Bilbo.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said.</p><p>“I hear you’re Mayor now. How is that?”</p><p>“Well,” Frodo began but the door opened once more and Pippin and Sam peered in.</p><p>“Oh! Interlopers,” Bilbo sniffed as he stared at them.</p><p>“We’re not waiting outside like good hobbits,” Pippin said as he entered the room.</p><p>“Come here little Took, let me look at you,” Bilbo said, catching Pippin before he could climb up on the bed.</p><p>“Hello Uncle Bilbo,” Pippin said, but his attention was on Merry.</p><p>“Stars, but you look more and more like your father each time I see you,” Bilbo said. Pippin made a face and squirmed. “Alright! I’ll leave you be, lad, but don’t you go jostling poor Merry. Sam! Come here.” Sam jumped. He’d been trying to sneak around their huddle to stand near Merry’s head.</p><p>“Hello, sir,” he said. Bilbo’s expression softened.</p><p>“How are you, Sam-lad? Is your father well?”</p><p>“I’m well and he is, too,” Sam said.</p><p>“Good. Now tell me, don’t you think Frodo looks much better than he did a few months ago?”</p><p>“Oh,” Sam blinked and glanced at Frodo. “Well, he’s settling in, I suppose, sir.”</p><p>“He does look better. And if I had to guess, I would think that improvement is down to you.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>“Don’t go denying it,” Bilbo said sternly, “Now, I can see that you all have this covered, so I’m going to retire to my room. Maybe I’ll see you all at supper. Until then.”</p><p>“Good bye,” Frodo called, joined by murmured goodbyes from Sam and Pippin. Bilbo closed the door behind him and they all traded looks before turning back to Merry. Pippin climbed up on the bed.</p><p>“We’re pushing it by being here,” Sam reminded him. Pippin snorted.</p><p>“I’m sick of being told what to do. Aren’t you?”</p><p>Sam considered this, then he too climbed up.</p><p>“We’re going to get told off,” Frodo said, but he climbed up behind Sam even so.</p><p>“We wanted to cuddle with you, Frodo,” Pippin said quietly, “but they told us we shouldn’t. And back then we were still very much in awe of Elves and very afraid to not do as we were told. Except that Sam got fed up with that pretty quick and put himself at your bedside no matter how many times they told him to go away.”</p><p>“Hard to believe Pippin Took did as he was told,” Frodo smiled. “And you didn’t follow Sam’s example? Mph. I’m disappointed.”</p><p>“He didn’t cause I didn’t tell him or Mr. Merry I’d snuck back into your room,” Sam said. “And I reckon the Elves kept quiet cause they thought I was trouble enough. No use stirring up the hobbits.”</p><p>“We were mad at you Sam!” Pippin laughed as he curled up at Merry’s side, “rule breaking and not letting us in on it.”</p><p>“I thought I’d get in trouble,” Sam smiled, “with you two and with the Elves.”</p><p>“Oh well. We forgave you for leaving us out,” Pippin hummed.</p><p>“Did you Mr. Took?” Sam pulled Pippin into a hug and cuddled him. “The Elves and everyone just didn’t know what to make of us, I think,” Sam said, “and maybe what they said was right for Men or Elves. Maybe Big People are rowdy sleepers and roll over on someone who’s sick or hurt. They’re so big and loud and clumsy and all.”</p><p>“Sam!” Frodo laughed and put himself at Sam’s back, putting an arm around him. “Be kind to the poor Big People!”</p><p>“Well I don’t know,” Sam sniffed, “But I’ll tell you what I think- I think hobbits heal better if we’re with other hobbits. Sure seemed to work that way for me in Minas Tirith. Remember they had us all in separate big rooms? They had Mr. Merry off in the House of Healing all by hisself? We didn’t none of us get to feeling much like ourselves until we got together. I couldn’t hardly keep food down properly until me and you took to sleeping close. I thought at the time it was just cause we were so used to being together, but time and again I’ve seen the same thing.”</p><p>“You could be right,” Pippin said sleepily.</p><p>“I think that’s quite right,” Frodo said, wrapping himself tighter around Sam’s back and kissing his shoulder. He could almost feel Sam’s contentment. “Éowyn said there’s magic in it,” Frodo added quietly. “And Faramir said so too. He said that when we hobbits cuddle up together it does something that makes the Big People sleepy. That tells me that there’s something happening.”</p><p>They settled in together and one by one, fell into a doze.</p><p>§</p><p>Hours later, Frodo stepped outside, walking silently down the corridor, and moving into a shaded courtyard where the well and pump were. He was thirsty and wanted to wash up a little. He’d left Sam and Pippin still sleeping.</p><p>As he entered the mossy courtyard he spied Gandalf resting on a bench by a quiet bit of river, just beyond the pump house. Frodo paused, then walked over and crouched by the bench, gazing out across the water.</p><p>“Hello, dear hobbit,” Gandalf said softly.</p><p>“Hello, dear Gandalf,” Frodo replied. He heard a soft chuckle in the cool air. It was early evening now and the sky was golden.</p><p>“Is Merry still sleeping?”</p><p>“He is,” Frodo said. He could feel Gandalf’s eyes on him and he turned to look up at him. He looked weary and sad. Frodo stood and moved up to sit on the bench and put a hand on Gandalf’s arm. “Gandalf? It’s alright,” he murmured, “ah. Isn’t it?” Gandalf smiled at him and put his other hand on Frodo’s head.</p><p>“As well as can be,” he said and his hand moved down to light on Frodo’s shoulder. “Are you alright?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“I am so very sorry that I was not there when you needed me,” Gandalf sighed. “I am weary of that. I promised you better.”</p><p>“I knew that there must be some reason. I suppose you’ll give us the full story once we settle in, but whatever the reason, I forgive you, if there is anything to forgive.” Frodo smiled faintly, “You gave me the tools to be able to bear something like this.”</p><p>“Thank you for that, my friend. But even so,” Gandalf grumbled softly.</p><p>“I chose to stay in the world,” Frodo said quietly, “I knew that such a choice would mean hardship. That’s what this world has in it.”</p><p>“One has a reasonable expectation to not have Ringwraiths showing up on the doorstep.”</p><p>“Well. Fair enough.”</p><p>They sat together in silence for a few minutes, the soft sound of water flowing around them.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Frodo asked. Gandalf turned again.</p><p>“Yes,” he said quietly.</p><p>“I’m very glad,” Frodo murmured. “Very glad.” They sat together for a few more minutes, enjoying the silence and one another’s company. At last Frodo stirred and rose.</p><p>“I’m afraid I must get back. Otherwise Sam will wander out here wondering what’s become of me.” He chuckled. “Oh. Remind me later to tell you something.”</p><p>“Something about Sam?” Gandalf asked. Frodo tried to affect nonchalance, but suspected that Gandalf could see right through him.</p><p>“Mm. Yes,” he said. “At any rate, I’ll see you later.”</p><p>“Be well in the meantime, Frodo,” Gandalf smiled at him. “And if after supper, Merry is awake and everyone is up to it, I would like to visit and begin telling you a bit of what happened.” Frodo nodded and retreated.</p><p><em>And I suppose sometime after that, I’ll tell you my side of it all… </em>he thought and slipped into the pump house for a quick scrub.</p><p>§</p><p>Not long after Frodo returned from the pump house, Elrond visited the room and found them all together. He didn’t scold them, only looked amused. He checked on Merry and woke him in the process. Merry blinked in the dim room and then slowly realized they were there beside him. He’d cried in joy.</p><p>After that there was no sending any of them away and in fact Éowyn and Faramir were brought in as well, for Merry insisted on it. They stayed all together and a meal was brought to them. Gandalf came by and settled in, taking dessert with them and sipping a bit of the light fragrant wine the Elves had brought.</p><p>“If you are all feeling well enough, I thought that I could begin to tell you some of what I have learned. I have heard much of your doings from Merry and from Frodo.”</p><p>“Please,” Merry said.</p><p>“I think the best way to begin is to go back a bit,” Gandalf began slowly. “Some of you may know this tale, but indulge an old man,” Gandalf continued, “You have all heard of the War of the Last Alliance, when Sauron was defeated, made formless and his power taken, but perhaps you don’t know some of the details- particularly the part that the wraiths played.”</p><p>“Then they were there?” Éowyn asked.</p><p>“And they were already wraiths by then? Not Men?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“They were and they were,” Gandalf smiled and took a draw on his pipe. “They led Sauron’s armies then as well. And after the battle… Well. The books of Men will tell you that the wraiths faded into the shadows after their master’s defeat. Perhaps they lost their forms just as Sauron did. Perhaps they were in hiding. Based on what I have learned, I am inclined to believe they were in hiding. We know of other times that they hid from us- worked in secret and in shadow, building secret towers, preparing for their master’s return.</p><p>“And Sauron did return. He came first as a shadow, dwelling in Dol Guldur, in the south of Mirkwood. We never discovered the method of his return, though some thought that it came from the power of the Ring, drawing his spirit back perhaps. I made inquiries at that place many years ago- and I found that Dol Guldur had been a seat of Necromancy for many years- and had been before we think Sauron’s spirit returned.</p><p>“I discovered that one of the wraiths had taken up residence there. The wraith in question was once known as Khamûl, the Second Chief. He was second in command under the Witch-king, and very skilled in sorcery. I thought at the time of my inquiries that the wraith was only preparing the tower for his master’s return, but now I am almost certain that this wraith was working dark powers, far beyond what we believed possible. It may be that Sauron was returned to our world through that Necromancy, and that it was accomplished by Khamul and the Witch-king.”</p><p>“And such terrible power came to a mortal, even a mortal turned wraith?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“A mortal turned wraith who bore one of the Nine Rings,” Gandalf said softly.</p><p>“But if Necromancy is a thing that can be done with the power from Rings, then it must be impossible for a mortal to do such things now- the Rings are powerless without the One,” Frodo pressed suddenly.</p><p>“You are getting ahead of things, Frodo,” Gandalf said squinting at him.</p><p>“As you like, but do please tell me now if the Enemy has returned or if the One has returned.”</p><p>“Neither has returned! Frodo Baggins! If such a thing had happened do you think I would be sitting here telling you stories from the Last Alliance?”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo growled back. Sam sat up and pointed at Gandalf.</p><p>“That’s right! You done exactly that,” he said, “and don’t go thinking we don’t remember it.”</p><p>“Oh I don’t know Sam Gamgee,” Gandalf grumbled, “wasn’t this the conversation you were listening in on from your position under the window sill? Perhaps you missed some things.”</p><p>Sam scoffed wordlessly and sent Frodo a look. Frodo snorted.</p><p>“Well I was sitting in the parlor with you, sir,” Frodo said turning to Gandalf, “and I do believe I remember you burying the lead somewhat.”</p><p>“Well this is very nice!” Gandalf said, pretending to be annoyed, “here I try and explain things to hobbits and they accuse me of burying the lead.”</p><p>“This is why he never explains things properly I suppose,” Pippin said to Merry. Merry rolled his eyes.</p><p>“All of you are ridiculous,” Merry sighed. “Frodo! Sam! Stop it!”</p><p>“Stop what?” Frodo asked, petulant.</p><p>“Stop the hobbity talking in circles thing. I want to hear this.”</p><p>“Cranky.”</p><p>“I’m allowed,” Merry growled back. Frodo chuckled and moved closer to Sam, curling into his side, making himself comfortable.</p><p>“Very well Gandalf,” he said, “don’t mind us. Please continue.”</p><p>Gandalf’s pretended annoyance had all faded away. He looked bright and happy as he looked down on them. He took another draw on his pipe and began to resume his story.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Gandalf's Tale</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“And so,” Gandalf said, picking up his story, “Sauron’s spirit was returned to Dol Guldur. But even so, he was not powerful enough to openly declare himself. He hid away from the Wise during this time and his servants began to prepare Mordor for his return.</p><p>“At some point later, Sauron took the Nine rings, holding them in his tower, gathering his power in the lead up to the War of the Ring. Which meant that when the wraiths flew to the volcano at the end, and were lost in the flames, their Rings were not consumed as would have happened if they had been wearing them.”</p><p>“But they were lost in the flames,” Sam said quietly. “And that mountain destroys all things.”</p><p>“The mountain destroys that which it made. As long as the Nine Rings were safe in Barad-dûr the mountain could only destroy the wraith’s forms,” Gandalf nodded, “As happened at the Bruinen in front of Rivendell. And just as happened then, the wraith’s spirits returned to the seat of their master’s power.”</p><p>“It was destroyed,” Frodo said.</p><p>“The tower fell,” Gandalf nodded, “but not all was destroyed. The Nine Rings were there and the wraiths took these. It was the power of the Rings that returned their forms before, and so it was again.”</p><p>“But the Rings should have been powerless things!” Frodo said, fierceness in his voice. “The Power of the One flowed to the others, bound them and controlled them, and allowed them to work.”</p><p>“Yes,” Gandalf said gently, “and the power of the other Rings has faded, but the fading is slow. There is power yet in the Three and there was power in the Nine. Enough to give them physical forms once more.” Frodo fell silent. He felt unwell, squirming unease in his stomach and he wasn’t sure why.</p><p>“If,” Sam said slowly, “if what you say is true, and the Riders had their Rings, then where are the Rings now?” Gandalf sent him a look.</p><p>“They are safe,” he said. Sam glanced nervously at Frodo. Frodo tried to look reassuring, but he shared Sam’s disquiet.</p><p>“Did you notice,” Pippin whispered to Merry, “Gandalf didn’t scold Sam for getting ahead of things.”</p><p>“Hush,” Merry whispered back.</p><p>“Gandalf,” Frodo said quietly, “can you promise that none of us will ever have to set eyes on those Rings?”</p><p>“I can promise that.”</p><p>Frodo nodded, soothed. He felt Sam’s arm come up around his back.</p><p>“Now,” Gandalf said, resuming, “from here much of what I say will be my own guesses, but I think my reasoning is sound. So, the Eight had their forms back but they were all alone in the ruins of their master’s tower, without mounts, without their Witch-king leader, and without direction. Worst of all, they could not slip into shadow and hide themselves, waiting for their master’s return this time. They must have known that the power of their Rings was fading, now that the One had gone into the fire. And once the power of their Rings failed, so too would they- for their lives, or what passes for a life- was bound to the Nine Rings. That power to stop decay and preserve them in timelessness was drawing to an end.</p><p>“I believe they traveled to Minas Morgul first, gathered what they could- weapons and horses- and fled, as Minas Morgul was not safe now that Gondor was restored. They went to their old place of hiding- Dol Guldur in the south of Mirkwood.</p><p>“They must have been angry at the situation they found themselves in, and particularly angry that they were leaderless in such a time. Based on what Galadriel was able to learn from them, she determined that they wanted to bring back their Witch-king. And too, they wanted revenge on those that had killed him.</p><p>“They spoke to her?” Merry asked.</p><p>“They sneered at her,” Gandalf said quietly. “Made it clear that they considered it infuriating that their King was brought low by a woman and a halfling.”</p><p>“It should have taught them something,” Faramir said.</p><p>“It did not, I take it,” Éowyn said. Gandalf shook his head.</p><p>“They think it is some great injustice, apparently. They told Galadriel that when they caught you they would make you tell them what womanly trick you used to murder thier King.”</p><p>“I stabbed him in the face,” Éowyn said</p><p>“And it was a brave and great deed, Lady Éowyn ,” Gandalf said smiling at her.</p><p>“It was a horror,” she said. Faramir put his arm around her and kissed the back of her neck. Merry reached for her hand.</p><p>“Yes, I know,” Gandalf said gently. Éowyn leaned into Faramir’s embrace and shifted her gaze to Merry and smiled at him.</p><p>“But it was needful. And it was a horror shared,” she said. Merry gazed at her, his eyes full of emotion.</p><p>“At any rate,” Gandalf continued, “They saw killing you and Merry as an act of revenge and a way to correct what they saw as an indignity, but I believe that is not all that they wanted. If there was any chance of preserving themselves then they would need the Witch-king and his Ring <em>Heartstopper</em>. He was once a Númenórean and he held some of their terrible Necromancy secrets. If there was a way to stop death, then he would be the key to it.</p><p>“Returning the Witch-king would not be as simple as their own returns. When Merry stabbed him and broke the spell on his body and Lady Éowyn slew him, that act brought his death- body and spirit. It would take an act of Necromancy to return him.</p><p>But it could not be as before. It was probably the Witch-king himself who worked much of the spell that brought Sauron back. And too, the power of their Rings was failing. So I think that they sought another power. One of deep magic. In this act they would have used you, Merry and you, Lady Éowyn to bind you both into the spell to raise the Witch-king back into this world.”</p><p>“Used us in what way?” Éowyn asked. Faramir wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her shoulders.</p><p>“You would have been broken, that is all that I will say of it,” Gandalf said softly, “and what remained of you both would have been used to call the vengeful spirit of the Witch-king before your agonized deaths could fall. Your lives sacrificed to return his.”</p><p>“Oh,” Merry said, stunned.</p><p>“You say that you are guessing,” Frodo said, frowning, “how much of a guess is this?”</p><p>“Well, I am not sure I’m the best one to ask. But in my opinion, I think the guess is sound,” Gandalf mused, “They were very determined to have Merry and Lady Éowyn - determined enough to break their own cover and show themselves. If they only wanted revenge and did not need them, then I think it would have made more sense to wait until after they had the Witch-king back. Then he could do what he liked, take his own revenge. No, I think there was purpose in it.”</p><p>“The dwimmerlaik - or rather, the Men of Arnor- said there was a purpose in the Rider’s pursuit of Merry and Lady Éowyn ,” Frodo said softly, “one that they said was very fearful, though they did not know it.”</p><p>“Ah. Just so,” Gandalf said slowly, “and too, Necromancy such as this takes time. I think that they worked there on the spell preparations for these past years and that when they grew ready, they sent one of their numbers out to seek Lady Éowyn , and another seeking for Merry.</p><p>“But they failed to capture Lady Éowyn , and when she alerted the King, it was not long before Galadriel was informed. A shadow of doubt had been growing in her mind, pointing always to Dol Guldur. When she heard that Riders were once again in the world, she wasted no time and set off for the place. When she arrived she did not wait to search it, but decimated the entire hill that the tower was built upon.</p><p>“The Riders had seen her coming however, and fled into Mirkwood. Even so, the Lady Galadriel hunted them. She caught them too and held them trapped. But she was disterbed to see that there were only seven wraiths- one was missing, and it must have been the wraith sent for Merry.</p><p>“At this time, I was on my way south, for I had received a message from the King, that a Rider was abroad in the land once more. I too was headed to Dol Guldur to aid Galadriel. I had made it only as far as the Gap of Rohan when I received Frodo’s first message- saying that there was a Rider in the Shire. At once I turned back and began riding to you all, but I knew that if a Rider was in the Shire I doubted that I could get to you before he did.”</p><p>Gandalf sighed and reached out, setting a hand on Merry’s shoulder.</p><p>“I am so very sorry that I was not quick enough.”</p><p>“You did your best for me,” Merry said. Gandalf nodded wordlessly and patted Merry’s shoulder.</p><p>“At any rate, I was still far south of the Shire when I received Frodo’s second message - that the Rider had been killed but not before he stabbed Merry.”</p><p>“At about the same time, I received a message from Galadriel. The wraiths had broken through her power- used some darkness spell to block out all the light.”</p><p>“They did that to us,” Faramir said softly.</p><p>“We were lost to it,” Éowyn said. “Drowned in darkness.”</p><p>“Indeed?” Gandalf asked quietly.</p><p>“Sam broke it,” Pippin said, “his song and the light of the phial broke it.” Gandalf turned and gazed at Sam. Frodo could see his unease at being the center of attention. He slipped his hand over Sam’s. Sam had grown easier at being the center of hobbit attention back home, but out here it was seemingly different, even among friends.</p><p>“Well done, Samwise,” Gandalf said softly. Sam nodded. “By the time Galadriel had broken their power, the Riders had escaped. She was hunting them once more, and they were headed north.”</p><p>“To us,” Frodo said. Gandalf nodded.</p><p>“And I made a mistake then. I set off south, trying to intercept them, so that Galdariel and I could come together and destroy them. For we had already seen that the fading power of one of the Three Rings was not enough to destroy them, and not even enough to hold them. We thought that we had a fair chance together.”</p><p>“And you did,” Pippin said, putting his head on Merry’s shoulder.</p><p>“I should have ridden to you even so,” Gandalf said. “But I was afraid that if I did the Riders would come, and my power would not be enough to protect you all. I gambled that the best bet would be for Galdariel to drive them from the south into the Gap of Rohan and I would come from the north and we would have them caught. And you all would be safe from them, never have to face more of them.”</p><p>“And did you?” Sam asked.</p><p>“We did,” Gandalf said, “The plan worked. We would have had them there, if not for the wraith servants.” He paused, sighing. “They ambushed us, forced us apart, and the Nazgûl slipped through. We destroyed the servants but now we were behind the Riders. We rode after them without pause. It was too much for their mounts- we found the Rider’s horses abandoned- and it was too much for Lady Galadriel’s steed. And so Galadriel rode with me on Shadowfax and we hunted them. We were just south of the Road, and I was still receiving Frodo’s messages. I knew we were close and the Riders might stumble upon you before we did. And they did.”</p><p>“But you were there when we needed you,” Frodo said.</p><p>“And I am so glad for that,” Gandalf said.</p><p>§</p><p>When Gandalf finished his tale, and they had finished the wine and cake, Sam sheepishly whispered to Frodo that he wanted a bath.</p><p>“I want a bath too,” Pippin said, not understanding that Sam’s comment hadn’t been meant for everyone to hear. Frodo scowled at him, but Pippin only blinked.</p><p>“Well, I do too,” Frodo sighed. He had scrubbed himself down a bit with cold water from the pump but he wouldn’t consider that a proper bath.</p><p>“The bath houses are well stocked,” Gandalf said.</p><p>“Abandoning me,” Merry teased.</p><p>“It will only be for a bit,” Pippin promised him.</p><p>“I’ll stay with you,” Éowyn said to Merry.</p><p>“And I. We already bathed,” Faramir smiled and patted Merry’s shoulder.</p><p>Gandalf rose with them and said goodnight as they left Merry’s room. They parted ways, the hobbits heading off to the bath house, while Gandalf went down toward the main hall.</p><p>The bath house was quiet, but there were lanterns lit for them and towels and soaps set out. They shucked their clothes and slipped into the warm bathing pools.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking,” Pippin said slowly as he scrubbed his back.</p><p>“Really?” Frodo asked mildly. Pippin turned and scowled, splashing him. Frodo laughed and splashed him back. “Alright! What have you been thinking about?”</p><p>“We were very silly not to sing for Tom Bombadil when we passed the Old Forest. I’ll bet he could have done something to those wraiths.”</p><p>“Probably could have,” Frodo agreed. “But what would we have done? Stayed at his house? Asked him to come with us? He wouldn’t have done that.”</p><p>“At the council,” Sam said, “Mr. Elrond said he was flighty and not concerned with the wider world. Even if we’d have stayed close to his lands and waited for Mr. Gandalf there, I’m not sure we could have trusted Tom Bombadil not to wander off.”</p><p>“I never knew Elrond said such,” Pippin said, “seeing as how I wasn’t eavesdropping on important councils, like certain hobbits were.” Sam chuckled and sent a small splash Pippin’s way. “But,” Pippin said, frowning a little as he strained to reach between his shoulders with the cloth, “you know, when Frodo sang for him before, Tom Bombadil came.”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo said and took the cloth from him, scrubbing Pippin’s back himself. “And even if Elrond said he’s flighty, I would trust Bombadil if he offered his help. I think what it comes down to is that I couldn’t have borne waiting there as Merry got worse and worse.”</p><p>“We did what we thought was best. That’s all we can do,” Sam said.</p><p>“Oh. I suppose,” Pippin said.</p><p>§</p><p>When they returned, they bid Éowyn and Faramir good night. Pippin climbed up on the bed and curled up with Merry, who was barely awake now. Frodo too lay down on the bed and watched Sam build the fire up. The night had grown suddenly cold and Frodo was weary as well as chilled. The fire felt very good.</p><p>Sam came and sat with him. The room was gradually warming once more and the soft light from the fire cast everything in a glow. Pippin and Merry were sleeping now, breathing quietly beside them, adding to Frodo’s sense of peace.</p><p>“They’re sweet and innocent looking when they’re asleep,” Sam whispered, looking over at Merry and Pippin. Frodo snorted. “Don’t tell them I said so.”</p><p>“Perish the thought,” Frodo whispered back. Sam chuckled and moved to curl toward him, gazing down into his face. Frodo gazed back. Sam’s eyes were full of love. He touched Frodo’s cheek with his fingertips, still peering at him, but now his expression had softened into something wistful and full of awe.</p><p>Frodo thought of saying something, but found himself staying quiet and still, caught in the moment. He yearned to touch Sam, but he also wanted to bask in his love. Sam’s fingers traced along his cheek, his forehead, and his neck. He reverently tucked a curl behind Frodo’s ear. Sam was so quiet and gazed at him and touched him so lightly and sweetly.</p><p><em>He’s wanted to love me like this for such a long time, hasn’t he? </em>Frodo realized. <em>And now he can.</em></p><p>It was an overwhelming feeling. Frodo could feel his heart quickening.</p><p>
  <em>I wish I had understood everything sooner. </em>
</p><p>“Come here,” he whispered, tugging Sam to lie down on his chest. He leaned in and whispered in his ear, “I want to feel you.” Sam gave him a stunned happy smile, his warm weight pressing comfortingly over him. He relaxed, sleepy now. Sam set his cheek to Frodo’s chest and went on gazing at him, the love in his eyes still on display. Frodo lifted his arm and set his hand in Sam’s hair. He was too sleepy to stroke him properly, but his fingers still moved to brush gently through his soft hair. Sam’s eyes fluttered and he sighed happily.</p><p>Frodo closed his eyes. He was falling asleep with Sam in his arms, just as he had the night before. It felt so deeply good. He folded his arms down around Sam’s back and held him close.</p><p>Only then did he let himself fall asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I may be fudging canon a little with the Rings not losing all power after the One Ring went into the fire. My impression though was that there was at least still some power in the Three. There’s maybe less chance of the Nine rings working much after the One goes, since they were connected to it closer- and I do write them as being weaker than Gandalf and Galadriel’s Rings, but it sort of follows that if the Three have some power yet, then maybe the Nine do too. </p><p>I don’t know how long it takes in canon for the power of the other rings to fade, but I do get the idea that it’s not all at once. Lorien doesn’t die over night, it’s just going to fade away. </p><p>I think though that anything connected directly to the One Ring’s power is toast- so, Bilbo ages rapidly for example. Had Gollum survived I think he’d have died. I have this sort of vague headcanon that like Galadirel’s rings had dominion over and preserved Lothlorien, the One Ring’s realm was all of Middle Earth. And maybe that helps explain why everything changes so much after it goes away. Middle Earth’s been sort of held in this status quo, at least ever since the War of the Last Alliance and it’s only after the Ring is gone that the world starts to make massive changes. But granted, I may just not know what I’m talking about.</p><p>Also the Nine Rings- Galadriel collected them after destroying the wraiths. Gandalf isn’t going into details about where they are because he’s finally learned his lesson about curious hobbits + cursed objects. </p><p>Also fudging with the whole- Necromancy brought Sauron back- it seems like he just got strong again and regained a physical form. But like, if he and Dol Guldur are going to be like this big center of necromancy and he (or his wraiths?) is the Necromancer then <em>maybe someone should do some necromancy</em>. </p><p>Also, I admit to having not watched the last bit of the hobbit movies which I think went into some of Sauron’s return (or actually, I did sort of see the last two hobbit movies, but I saw a cut that tried to slice out the extra dumb things, and I’ve never cared enough to watch the full thing and I don’t trust movie lore about Sauron’s return anyway.)</p><p>Also- We’re told that the Riders have these wraith servants - since that’s the fate that threatened Frodo, but we never see any of these wraith servants. You’d think undead wraith servants would have been used in the War of the Ring. There’s the barrow-wights who we are told are sort of servants or at least allied with the Ring-wraiths. I don’t think they’re supposed to be like people who were turned by Morgul blades though. </p><p>Anyway, this backstory about the wraiths using necromancy to bring Sauron back and their attempt to raise the Witch-king from the dead is my attempt to tie them closer with the whole Necromancer scrap of canon. It’s just too scary and cool to leave it hanging out there with nothing behind it.</p><p>Also, about Sauron taking the Nine Rings from the Riders after his return - apparently that did happen in canon, even though one time Elrond says something about the Rider’s having their rings, in other places in canon it’s made clear that Sauron took the Nine Rings and had them at Barad-dûr. Otherwise Frodo would have seen the Rider’s rings on Weathertop (and maybe other times too?). Tolkien Gateway says it was to consolidate his power. I don’t really understand it but ok. It helped my story, because if they’d had their rings when they got lava-ed then I would guess their rings would be gone too. </p><p>Tom Bombadil. Sigh. Tom Bombadil just breaks every story he’s in. If he broke Fellowship of the Ring then I guess it’s ok that he broke my fic too. ToT </p><p>It’s a little bit of a copout to be like - oh yeah he could destroy an undead, but like he’s unreliable and doesn’t want to get in our business- but that’s also basically what the excuse was in Fellowship not to use him to bear the One Ring. So. Yeah.</p><p>Extra thank you to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeanutGallery38/pseuds/PeanutGallery38">PeanutGallery38</a>
your questions helped me develop some things and make sure I covered other things. </p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just in time for Hobbit Day!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merry lay in his wide bed. The sheets and blankets had just been changed and he could smell the fresh herbs that must have been packed around the fabric. He was still catching his breath. They’d had to lift him out in order to change everything. </p><p>“Oh dear, I tried not to be rough with you,” Éowyn said. “Have I hurt you?”</p><p>“You haven’t,” Merry said with only a flicker of his usual cheer. “It’s this damn hole in my side that’s the problem.”</p><p>“Holes in one’s side tend to do that,” Faramir said. </p><p>“It’s just going to take time,” Éowyn said and took a seat beside him. “Would it help if I rub your shoulders?”</p><p>“Yes please,” Merry said, “but be gentle with me. I’m small.”</p><p>“I’ll be gentle with you.” </p><p>Éowyn set herself against the headboard and carefully drew Merry to her. </p><p>“Is it really alright that you’re staying in Rivendell?” Merry asked. “I understand you know. You lead a fiefdom.”</p><p>“We do, but those who I left in charge are fair competent leaders,” Faramir said and added quietly, “there are steward’s men who might try and make something of it- old friends of my father’s. But I have long ago learned not to listen to their hateful whispers. Éowyn taught me better.”</p><p>“But it is a hardship, having to hear those things, is it not?”</p><p>“No,” Faramir said gently. “There isn’t a pressing urgency to rush back, and sneers from Men like that are not a reason to leave you. And besides, traveling in the dead of winter when there is no need is foolhardy. No, Ithilien will be well looked after in our absence.”</p><p>“And I will not leave your side until you are healed,” Éowyn  said. “You did the same for me, dear Merry.” Merry sighed, his heart eased.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said. </p><p>§</p><p>Frodo sat up on the railing overlooking the river. He had a job to do and he wasn’t looking forward to it. He’d known he would have to tell Bilbo that he wasn’t going across the Sea with him. They hadn't ever said anything for sure, but Frodo was almost certain Bilbo was under the impression that he would be going too. </p><p>Earlier in the year, before he’d made his trip to Rivendell he’d had to have a somewhat similar talk with Sam, and though his news hadn’t been as hard as it might have been it had still been a difficult conversation. </p><p>Sam had been making breakfast for him in Bag End’s kitchen, for it had been one of those many nights he’d stayed over. Sam had been very gently testing the idea of them both going to help Will Whitfoot’s poor overwhelmed deputy. </p><p>“You know,” Sam had said softly, “they’ll be looking for a new Mayor come summer. Poor Mr. Whitfoot isn’t going to run again.”</p><p>“I wonder who will run,” Frodo had said absently. He didn’t care at all and only made polite conversation about it for Sam’s sake.</p><p>“You know,” Sam said, “there’s been a bit of talk about what a good Mayor you’d be, and folks aren’t shy about telling me.”</p><p>“Me?” Frodo had been puzzled. </p><p>“Yes, you,” Sam brought the pan over and put two thick pieces of farm bacon on his plate. “And I have to say, I think they’re right. You’re wonderful.”</p><p>Frodo looked up but Sam had already moved back to the stove.</p><p>“Sam,” he said. Sam turned back. His expression was bright, but Frodo could see just a touch of fear in his eyes. He hated putting fear in Sam’s eyes. “There is something you should know,” Frodo said quietly, “Something I kept back from you, to spare you.” The fear deepened.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“I am too badly hurt to go on like this,” he said softly. “I must go away to find peace.” Sam was frozen. Frodo watched him put the pan down, trying to hide the fact that his hands were shaking. Sam switched off the burner.</p><p>“Go where?” he asked shakily but didn’t wait for the answer. “You’re going across the Sea? You’re going away with Mr. Bilbo?”</p><p>“How did you know about that?” Frodo asked, startled. Sam usually would have blushed or stammered out some apology at being caught out, but he didn’t seem to be capable now.</p><p>“Mr. Bilbo mentioned that he was going- back when we were in Rivendell,” he said, “but you’re going too?” Sam blinked, his eyes suddenly bright. “And I can’t come?” he whimpered. Frodo rose. </p><p>“No,” he said. Sam looked like Frodo had slapped him, and he burst into tears. “No!” Frodo cried, and hastily clarified, “I’m not going across the Sea! Sam? Dear Sam. It’s alright. Please, come sit down.” Sam peered into his eyes then slowly took Frodo’s offered arm and let himself be led to the table. </p><p>“But you said you’re going away,” Sam said and fresh tears gathered in his eyes and fell down his cheeks. </p><p>“To Rivendell,” Frodo said softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”</p><p>“Rivendell? For how long?” Sam asked, still too full of emotion to stop crying. </p><p>“I don’t know,” Frodo said quietly. “The truth of it is, that I was given a choice. I could go away across the Sea and find certain peace, or I could stay in this land and seek healing with those Elves that remain. It’s just that there may not be hope that way.”</p><p>“I don’t understand,” Sam said and took Frodo’s hands. “I thought you were mending.”</p><p>“I was hurt in ways that perhaps can’t be healed.”</p><p>“But you’re going to Rivendell. Not across the Sea,” Sam said, wanting to confirm it. Frodo nodded.</p><p>“I had thought I would go across the Sea. But, I’ve changed my mind.” He was quiet for a moment. “I want to try and stay in the Shire.”</p><p>“You do?” Sam asked in a broken voice. </p><p>“Yes, I do,” Frodo told him. Sam drew Frodo’s hand to his chest, holding it tight. </p><p>“It will hurt you, won’t it? To try and stay? I can’t help but want you here, though. I’m sorry. Forgive your Sam. I can’t help it.”</p><p>“It’s alright.”</p><p>“And you had decided to go away. To go over the sea?” Sam asked, clutching him tight. It was obviously still a blow to him. </p><p>“I had,” Frodo said painfully. </p><p>“Why’d you change your mind?” Sam asked in a whisper.  Frodo tensed. </p><p>“The Shire,” he said softly, “it’s very badly hurt. I want to help it.” Sam bowed his head, letting his eyes rest of Frodo’s hand still clasped in his own. Sam stayed quiet. “Sam, dear,” Frodo murmured, “I don’t mean to hurt you. But I have, haven’t I?”</p><p>“It’s alright,” Sam said. </p><p>“Everything inside me is still in a tangle, and numb and… hurt. I’m having a very hard time sorting out what I want and what I feel. I’m sorry. The last thing I want is to hurt you.” Sam nodded. He took a few steadying breaths and pulled out a handkerchief to dry his eyes. At last he looked up at Frodo, meeting his eyes.</p><p>“Don’t mind me going on,” he said. “It was a bit of a shock and I said the first things that come to me. Don’t listen to it. I want you to be happy. You’ve already give up so much. You ought to be happy.”</p><p>“Dear, hobbit,” Frodo said, wanting to smile but couldn’t quite make himself. He pulled Sam into an embrace.</p><p>“No matter what happens,” he said quietly, “I love you dearly. It’s one of the only things I’m sure of.” Sam nodded, too emotional for words, and hugged back. He took another few moments to find his voice and sat back. </p><p>“I’ll be alright, you know, no matter what you chose,” Sam said stoutly, though he cried to say it. Frodo touched his head and peered into his face.</p><p>“Is that the truth, Sam?” </p><p>More tears fell and Sam wiped them away.</p><p>“I don’t know,” he said miserably. Frodo drew him into another hug. Sam cried harder and Frodo rocked him. </p><p>Now sitting over the river Frodo lifted his thoughts out of the memory and pondered the sky. It still made him ache to remember Sam’s grief, and he knew the shadow of worry had laid heavily on Sam ever since. </p><p>He was about to go tell Bilbo much worse news.</p><p>“No matter what I choose, I have to part from one of them,” Frodo whispered to himself. He hoped that Bilbo understood. He hoped that Bilbo remembered, and wouldn’t go on thinking they’d be leaving together.</p><p>With a heavy sigh Frodo climbed down from his perch and walked toward Bilbo’s room.</p><p>§</p><p>“Now, where did my tea go?” Bilbo asked grumpily. “Can you find it, Frodo?” </p><p>“I’ve got it,” Frodo said, fetching the cup and bringing it to him as Bilbo sat in his chair.</p><p>“Oh, such a good boy,” Bilbo smiled at him.  Bilbo fussed with his tea, and sipped gingerly. Frodo took a seat across from him. There was no use in delaying this.</p><p>“Bilbo?” Frodo said.</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“I wanted to talk about the ship coming next year.”</p><p>“Oh yes,” Bilbo nodded. “I wish I had more time you know. So much to do. But you’re tidying up the Book. Have you asked Sam to help you like I told you? Or are you trying to do it all yourself?”</p><p>“Well,” Frodo blinked. Bilbo had a way of getting off on tangents. “It’s coming along I suppose. And what I don’t look after, Sam will. Never fear.’</p><p>“Good! Good. Did you bring it? I did want to look it over. I promise I won’t be too judgemental.”</p><p>“Bilbo, the ship.”</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>“You know I was promised a place on that ship,” Frodo said. Bilbo nodded. </p><p>“I thought that might be so,” he said. “We’ll step out into the World once more, shall we?”</p><p>Frodo felt the beginnings of tears. His throat was tight.</p><p>“I’m not going,” Frodo said. “I need to stay here.” Bilbo looked up at him.</p><p>“Oh,” he said.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Frodo sniffed, and he lost the battle keeping his tears back. </p><p>“Oh, Frodo, darling,” Bilbo stood up and tottered over to him. “It’s alright.” He put his hands on Frodo’s shoulders. “There, there, my boy.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Frodo said again. Bilbo took a seat beside him. They sat together in silence as Frodo cried and Bilbo patted his back.</p><p>“You’ll come when the time is right,” Bilbo said gently. “And I’ll be waiting for you.” He drew Frodo into an embrace and set his head to Frodo’s. “It will be like it was all those years ago, remember? You staying in the Shire, because that’s where your heart was meant to be. And I went out on the Road, because that’s where my heart was meant to be. We met up again. I was waiting for you down the Road. It will be so again, my boy.”</p><p>“Mm,” Frodo felt in his pocket for a handkerchief but Bilbo had one out and offered it to him. </p><p>“And when that time comes,” Bilbo went on gently, “Sam will come with you. The Ringbearers will go together.”</p><p>“And the Ringbearers will all be together,” Frodo vowed.</p><p>“Yes,” Bilbo murmured. “Yes we will.” Frodo sat quietly as the tightness and tears eased. Bilbo made no move to draw back, but let Frodo stay huddled into his side.</p><p>“Are you,” Frodo said in a strained voice, “is it alright with you? To go on alone?”</p><p>“I’m not going alone. There will be plenty of folks going with me.”</p><p>“You know what I mean.”</p><p>“Well,” Bilbo frowned, “is it alright? Yes. Were you trying to ask me if I was angry or hurt about it? If so no to both. I will miss you of course, but we’ll be together in the end. Don’t you worry yourself. I understand you know.”</p><p>Frodo nodded.</p><p>“Sweet boy.”</p><p>Frodo smiled at the feeling of Bilbo patting his head. </p><p>“Thank you, Bilbo,” he said quietly. Bilbo hummed contentedly.</p><p>“Now let’s discuss the really serious business,” he said softly, “Are you courting young Samwise yet?”</p><p>Frodo blinked stunned and sat up. </p><p>“Yes,” he said.</p><p>“Good. Good,” Bilbo nodded in approval. He looked as if he expected this. “I hoped he would have taken my hints and got on with asking you out. I suppose it was he who asked?”</p><p>“Well,” Frodo frowned.</p><p>“Samwise asked first,” Bilbo chuckled. “I thought he might! You get so wrapped up in doing things absolutely perfectly.”</p><p>“Pardon?” Frodo said, pretending more grumpiness than he felt. Bilbo only laughed.</p><p>“How did he do it? Did he give you flowers?” Bilbo asked eagerly.</p><p>“It. Ah. It wasn’t so much a question. More like a confession.”</p><p>“So <em>dramatic</em>!” Bilbo cackled.</p><p>“Yes, just a bit dramatic. And there were no flowers,” Frodo continued, “Sam told me when we were in that horrible cave when we nearly lost Merry.”</p><p>Bilbo’s smile faded. He stared at Frodo. Frodo winced. They’d been having a very jolly sort of conversation. He’d dampened it.</p><p>“You mean to tell me,” Bilbo said in disbelief, “that he waited until then? Wasn’t that only a few days ago?” </p><p>“Well, yes.”</p><p>“Samwise Gamgee!” Bilbo huffed and just as quickly turned his ire on Frodo, “and <em>you</em>! Letting that poor boy go on pining for you all that time!”</p><p>“I didn’t know!” Frodo protested.</p><p>“Then you’re very silly,” Bilbo sniffed. Frodo sighed and gazed into the fire.</p><p>“I suppose I am,” he said. Bilbo peered at him, his ire softening. </p><p>“You’re almost as bad as me,” he said. Frodo snorted. “Well. This conversation isn’t over and I will expect more of the story. But I’m afraid it’s time for my afternoon nap. So be a good lad and go away.”</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo stood up as if he were offended. “I’ll see you at supper?”</p><p>“<em>Absolutely not</em>. I better not see you,” Bilbo said severely, “You go romance that boy properly. Pack a hamper and take him up into the woodlands above the House and watch the sunset or something.”</p><p>“Ah. That sounds nice.”</p><p>“Of course it does. Now go!”</p><p>Frodo set off, chuckling, pausing at the door.</p><p>“Have a good nap.”</p><p>“Go away.”</p><p>“I love you too,” Frodo laughed and closed the door.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bilbo is not a fan of slow burn.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. A Golden Afternoon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo walked down the stairs until he was out on the ground level, strolling through Rivendell’s gardens. He thought he might find Sam wandering among the vegetation. He was passing the stables and watched as a small group pf Elves stood beside their tall horses, packing for journeys. Frodo recognized some of them as the party being sent out to hunt the countryside for any remaining wraith servants.</p><p>“As long as the Nine hold power,” Gandalf had said that morning, “there may yet be creatures made by their power.”</p><p>“And what will be done if any of these wraiths are found?” Frodo had asked as they walked together.</p><p>“They will be destroyed.”</p><p>“Ask them not to,” Frodo said quietly. Gandalf gazed down at him. “I may be able to do some good.”</p><p>Gandalf paused then sank down to peer at him.</p><p>“The task I gave you was to heal the Shire. Not the whole world, Frodo,” he said.</p><p>“Then I’m to show my own people more mercy than others?”</p><p>“No dear hobbit,” Gandalf said, “but there is only so much that you should pile on those shoulders of yours.”</p><p>“I can help them Gandalf,” he said. Gandalf smiled.</p><p>“Very well. But you understand you may be asked to ride out then. You would have to leave Merry.”</p><p>“I understand,” Frodo said quietly. He didn’t like the idea, but he felt better knowing that Sam and Pippin and Bilbo would still be at his side.</p><p>Frodo watched the Elves load their horses and climb up, riding out, down the winding paths and out under the plinth, leaving Rivendell. When they disappeared from view, Frodo continued his ramble through the gardens. Part of him hoped that the Elves would not find any more wraiths. With a resolute sigh, he pushed the worry away. Letting himself fret over it wouldn’t help anything. Instead he turned his thoughts to Sam.</p><p>Now, there was a matter to consider and some things to work at, but it was happy work. He wanted to explore this thing between them and understand what it would mean for their lives. He couldn’t help the small tremors of joyful nerves shooting up through him when he contemplated it.</p><p>There was no luck finding Sam in the gardens. Instead, Frodo climbed up a flight of stairs and headed toward Merry’s room. There was always the possibility that Sam was there, and even if he wasn’t, he wanted to check on Merry.</p><p>He thought Merry might be asleep, so he carefully opened the door and peeked in.</p><p>“Frodo!” Pippin shouted. Frodo straightened and slipped in. Merry was lying face down on the bed and Pippin was seated behind him. If Merry had been asleep he surely wasn’t anymore. Frodo approached the bed and climbed up frowning. Merry’s hair was wet and Pippin was combing it.</p><p>“Hello Frodo,” Merry said, his voice muffled by pillows.</p><p>“Hello. Is Pippin torturing you?”</p><p>“Not too badly,” Merry sighed.</p><p>“His hair was a mess,” Pippin said, “the Elves washed it, but you know how their tonics are.” Frodo did know. Whatever tonics Elrond kept stocked tended to dry hobbit hair out and make it fluff and frizz. “And they didn’t know how to untangle hobbit hair without hurting him, so I think they left it.” Pippin gently combed through Merry’s damp curls. “But I got a proper egg and vinegar rinse for him and washed that out and worked some nice oils into the ends. He’ll be alright now.”</p><p>“When we were on the road it didn’t bother me much, but now that I’m properly washed it felt bad,” Merry said “Thank you, Pip.”</p><p>“Of course.” Pippin paused a moment, then grinned as he worked.</p><p>“Has Sam washed your hair yet, Frodo?” he asked. Frodo snorted.</p><p>“Ah. So Merry told you we’re courting?”</p><p>“Ha!” Pippin turned to Merry and addressed his back. “After watching the pair of them giggle and flirt and sneak off to sleep separately in a picturesque ruined tower, he still thinks I have to rely on you telling me these things?”</p><p>“Bless him,” Merry chuckled, adding, “Frodo just can’t get used to the idea that we’re very clever and know him very well.”</p><p>“Alright,” Frodo groaned. “Apologies.”</p><p>“Does Uncle Bilbo know?” Merry asked.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Ah. Thought he might.”</p><p>“I don’t know why this is all so obvious to everyone else,” Frodo said irritably, “To me it was a very great revelation.”</p><p>“Poor hobbit,” Merry said and reached blindly for him, patting his knee. “Was it to Sam?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“A great revelation?”</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo blinked, “I’m not sure. It was a great revelation to him that I returned the feelings, I know that.”</p><p>“Dear Sam!” Pippin sighed.</p><p>“You must keep us updated, Frodo,” Merry said sternly. “I’ve had to watch all of this in silence until now-”</p><p>“Ha!”</p><p>“-and I want to know how it comes out. Most of all I want to know you’re happy.”</p><p>Frodo paused. It was very sweet, but he still felt ornery.</p><p>“Well you must be very bored if such things interest you,” he sniffed. Merry didn’t rise to the bait though. He only turned over with difficulty and sat back on pillows. Pippin moved in again to continue his combing. Merry looked amused.</p><p>“Bored? Heavens no. Your amorous adventures are only one of the very interesting diversions in Rivendell.”</p><p>“Glad to be amusing,” Frodo said dryly, but his heart was too happy seeing Merry look so well to put any real venom in it.</p><p>“I had a front row seat this morning to a very good show of Pippin antagonizing Gandalf, Elrond brought me the bottle of bile they drew from my wound. I’ll spare you the details but if I weren’t a hobbit it would have put me off my second breakfast,” Merry ticked each event off on his fingers, “and there is the other small matter…” he grinned suddenly. “You’re not the only one making amorous connections you know.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“I got invited into Éowyn and Faramir’s bed,” Merry whispered conspiratorially to them. “After my side heals, of course.”</p><p>“Stars above,” Pippin whistled. “Did they find out how much you like to be topped by strong women?”</p><p>“I didn’t say anything,” Merry said primly.</p><p>“He let on somehow,” Pippin said to Frodo. Frodo nodded.</p><p>“I expect so.”</p><p>“I’m very discreet with my bed habits,” Merry protested.</p><p>“No you aren’t,” Pippin laughed.</p><p>“Merry,” Frodo said seriously. “Do it. Think of your legacy. First hobbit to be bent over and coupled by a shieldmaiden.”</p><p>“Mm yes,” Merry smiled wistfully.</p><p>“Ah, you’re underestimating the Tooks,” Pippin complained. “I’m fairly sure-”</p><p>“Hush Pip,” Frodo said and swatted at him. Merry laughed.</p><p>“Well. I’m probably getting into things I know nothing about- but even so. I love them and it would be nice and a sweetness between us.”</p><p>The door opened silently and Sam padded in.</p><p>“But” Merry said, “ I think I need to find out a bit about Men’s anatomy. Before I try to suck Faramir off I’d like to know just how different Men are from hobbits in that regard.”</p><p>Sam turned around and left.</p><p>“Oh dear. You’ve run Sam off,” Pippin said mildly. Frodo laughed and clasped Merry, kissing his cheek.</p><p>“Get fucked, my dear.”</p><p>“I plan on it.”</p><p>Frodo laughed again and jumped down, going out and chasing after Sam.</p><p>“Sam!” he called, jogging down the corridor. Sam halted and turned back, brightening at Frodo’s voice. “You didn’t have to leave, you know.”</p><p>“Well, it sounded like a delicate conversation,” Sam coughed.</p><p>“No. Just a friendly one,” Frodo chuckled. “But, listen, what would you think about us packing a supper and taking it up into the woodlands?”</p><p>“Who is ‘us’?” Sam asked with a hint of tease in his voice.</p><p>“Me and you.”</p><p>“Then I’d like that very much,” Sam said, stepping close and brushing his fingers along the back of Frodo’s hand.</p><p><em>Oh. He’s flirting with me.</em> Frodo was grinning and had to catch his breath.</p><p>“We could look down at the river. Watch the sun set,” he said, trying his best to be charming. Sam looked pleasantly flustered.</p><p>“That sounds fine. Very fine.”</p><p>§</p><p>Sam ambled up the hill, taking a moment here and there to admire the trees and breathe the fresh fragrant air. During their first trip into Rivendell he’d felt an ever present ringing of some soft living power. There was life and song and growing things in it. Elf magic, he’d thought of it.</p><p>It was still there, whispering to him, but it was less easy to make out now.</p><p>“Sam?”</p><p>Sam jolted back to the present and smiled sheepishly, hurrying on after Frodo. Frodo had turned back to him, pausing for Sam to draw near. Sam smiled, about to make a joke, but Frodo’s expression made his words dry up.</p><p>Frodo’s standard expressions were usually reserved, even when they were being tender there was some lingering quietness. It had never bothered Sam, he had long ago learned to read Frodo in other ways. But now there was nothing subdued in Frodo’s expression. He was looking at Sam with absolute adoration.</p><p>“Would you like to hold my hand?” Frodo asked him. Sam nodded wordlessly and offered his hand. Frodo took it and, giving him one last loving look, turned back to the path before them.</p><p>They came out into a clearing and were able to look down over the rolling valley below. Sam paused and whistled. Frodo drew close and raised a hand to stroke Sam’s cheek. Sam moved his gaze from the landscape to Frodo’s warm expression. Frodo paused a moment, then leaned in and nuzzled Sam’s nose.</p><p>“Oh,” Sam quivered.</p><p>“What is it?” Frodo asked. Sam smiled sheepishly.</p><p>“It’s just,” he murmured, “well. Whenever I’ve gone walking about, I’ve usually stumbled on Elves out here. Or I hear them singing, or catch sight of them in the distance.”</p><p>“You think they’re watching out for you?”</p><p>“I dunno,” Sam sighed, “but it just makes me wonder how alone we are.”</p><p>“That’s what’s troubling you?” Frodo asked gently.</p><p>“I suppose it ought not matter. But it does. To me,” Sam said in a small voice, shy suddenly.</p><p>“If it matters to you, then it matters to me.”</p><p>Sam glanced up. The adoration in Frodo’s eyes had returned.</p><p>“I know a place where we won’t be disturbed,” he said.</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“Elrond promised,” Frodo said. “He gifted it to me when I came here in the spring. He said it would always be a place where I could find solitude.”</p><p>“If you go showing me, it shan’t be a place of solitude anymore,” Sam teased gently.</p><p>“I’m not seeking solitude right now.”</p><p>Sam stilled and turned to him, knowing his heart was in his eyes. He drew Frodo’s hand up and kissed it.</p><p>Frodo brought them to the edge of a rise, where they paused. Sam caught his breath. Below them was a small enclosed riverbed, with three small waterfalls cascading down from the rocky cliffs above. The stream below them wound through the riverbed, burbling over rock and winding down past a small clearly cultivated garden.</p><p>Within the garden there was a small grotto built into the side of the rock and a fire pit with a good stock of wood sheltered inside the overhang. Around the garden there were black willow trees and small maples, and river birch, creating a canopy of red and gold.</p><p>“It’s beautiful,” Sam whispered.</p><p>“It is. I’m very lucky.” Frodo smiled down at the place. “Come, there are steps over here.”</p><p>They moved down into the riverbed and the soft sound of water surrounded them. Frodo took his hand again and led him through the garden as Sam gazed around them, wonderstruck by the beauty and peace of the place.</p><p>Frodo took a seat on the wooden bench under the sheltered overhang and Sam soon had a nice little fire going in the pit before them. He joined Frodo on the bench, warming his toes on the rocks surrounding the pit. Once again he lifted his face and gazed out at the sight before him.</p><p>From their vantage point in the grotto they had a view of the falls and the river burbling past, and then traveling down to the next drop and disappearing beyond, to an open view of the whole valley with Rivendell below.</p><p>Frodo moved close, dropping his gaze shyly as he did, and slipped an arm around Sam’s back. Sam softened and lay back in his arms, resting his head on Frodo’s shoulder. Frodo took a breath, and drew him into a fuller embrace.</p><p>“<em>How many times do I love you, my dear</em>,” Frodo sang softly. “<em>For that you must number each star</em>.”</p><p>Sam gazed up at him, helplessly lost in emotion. He didn’t recognize this song.</p><p>“<em>May it be that we will share our days, In an age of peace blessed by the Valar</em>.”</p><p>Frodo’s hand moved down to hold his, and Sam turned his face up. Frodo was gazing at him and he put his forehead to Sam’s, closing his eyes as he continued to sing.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <br/>
    <em>For yours is a good and brave heart,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>That tirelessly kept pushing on,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>When joy and hope had left my soul,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>And all my strength was gone.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>There was comfort ever in your words,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>And a kind look in your eyes.</em>
    <br/>
    <em>I bless you, love, for your tender heart,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>And I’ll kiss you when you cry.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I thank you for the patient smile</em>
    <br/>
    <em>When your heart was set to break;</em>
    <br/>
    <em>When the hunger pain was gnawing there</em>
    <br/>
    <em>You hid it for my sake.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I bless you for the pleasant word</em>
    <br/>
    <em>When your heart was sad and sore.</em>
    <br/>
    <em>I’d bless you in a thousand songs,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>And still ache to give you more</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>So rest beloved one, find peace</em>
    <br/>
    <em>Without here night is growing,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>The red leaf falls, the dark boughs meet,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>And a chill wind is blowing.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Though evil thoughts may walk the dark,</em>
    <br/>
    <em>None will draw near to you</em>
    <br/>
    <em>My arms will hold you close and warm</em>
    <br/>
    <em>And dawn will come gold and true.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Sam was trembling. Frodo had made this song for him. He turned in Frodo’s arms, and hugged him tight, putting his face against his shoulder.</p><p>“Frodo,” he whispered. Frodo kissed his ear.</p><p>“I’m afraid it’s not as good as one of yours.”</p><p>Sam sat up, overwhelmed with emotion as he touched Frodo’s cheek. Frodo softened at his touch. Sam tilted his head and leaned in, kissing him. Frodo kissed back. Their mouths were warm and the sensation was paired with the feeling of Frodo’s cold nose bumping against his own. Frodo chuckled low and soft and it sent shivers up Sam.</p><p>They settled in, sharing deep long kisses among the sound of tumbling water and crackling fire, as a golden perfect afternoon aged around them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Frodo's song to Sam is borrowed from  two songs altered and mashed together: <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/files/26715/26715-h/26715-h.htm#page90">Lament of the Irish Emigrant</a>  (Helen Selina, 1807–1867) and <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/files/26715/26715-h/26715-h.htm#page46">Serenade </a>  (Robert Buchanan, 1841-1901)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. The Memory in Lorien</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They had their packed supper, watching as the shadows lengthened and the sky turned golden. When they’d finished their meal, Sam brought out a blanket he’d packed at the bottom of the basket and they wrapped it around themselves as they sipped the last of the cider.</p><p>Evening had come and with it soft night sounds. Sam watched the fire light reflect off Frodo’s face, and light up strands of his dark hair so that they seemed run through with golden filaments. Even his eyelashes were golden.</p><p>As he watched, Sam told Frodo about his afternoon in the stables looking after Sweet Pea.</p><p>“She don’t look at all intimidated by those big horses,” Sam said proudly. “Bill wasn’t either, mind, but he seemed to have a bit of respect for them all the same. Sweet Pea is a brassy young thing. She just stares them down when they stamp at her.” Sam was laughing.</p><p>“It’s the Took upbringing, I suppose,” Frodo smiled.</p><p>“Suppose so.” Sam finished his cider and set his cup aside. “And how was your afternoon? You went to see Mr. Bilbo, didn’t you?”</p><p>“I did,” Frodo said, closing his eyes to savor the flavor of his cider. “He’s such an old dear.” Frodo’s smile fade away. “I didn’t go to see him just to share company though. I had to tell him that I won’t be going over the Sea with him,” Frodo said quietly. Sam glanced up.</p><p>“Is he alright?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“And you?” Sam asked, quieter.</p><p>“I will be,” Frodo sighed with a thin smile. “He was very sweet about it. Told me that he’d be waiting and we’d see each other again when the time is right.”</p><p>Sam nodded, a slow dawning realization coming to him. Frodo would only go across the Sea when there was nothing holding him here.</p><p>
  <em>Will that be when he’s finished his work? Or when I die? Or when all of us die- Merry and Pippin and I?</em>
</p><p>To his surprise there was only a bit of sadness at pondering this. It felt like a natural thing, and there was a soft joy mixed into the sadness- that though Frodo would grieve such losses, he would then go on living across the Sea in a place that would bring his heart a deep peace.</p><p>
  <em>But then, that’s assuming he lives long enough to finish his work or to see us die. If he dies before those things he’ll never see Mr. Bilbo or find true peace.</em>
</p><p>That thought hurt. Sam felt his heart begin to quicken. No. It wouldn’t come to that. If Frodo was dying then he’d take him to the Elf boats in his own arms and put him on the ship. Frodo clearly wanted to see Bilbo again and deep in Sam’s heart he knew that Frodo’s true place of rest would be that distant shore and not the Shire. Sam wouldn’t let Frodo miss such things.</p><p>Sam let his cheek rest against Frodo’s shoulder and turned his body so that he could clasp Frodo.</p><p>“But that won’t be for a very long time,” Frodo said softly and caressed him. “A lifetime.”</p><p>“It feels like,” Sam said slowly, “for me, anyway, like I’ve had one lifetime already, and then something very terrible ended that life, and now I’ve begun a new one.”</p><p>“That’s a good way of putting it,” Frodo murmured.</p><p>“I can’t help but think it will be that way when you go across the Sea,” Sam said with a smile. “You’ll leave one lifetime behind and begin a new one. There will be parts that carry over maybe, but it will feel very separate. And maybe some of the pains of the old lives will fall away.” He smiled shyly, “I know I’m probably talking nonsense, but that’s how this has been for me- the things that used to worry me or scare me, those have gone, or they’re just much smaller.”</p><p>“But there’s new things now,” Frodo said, worried.</p><p>“Ah well, but in that Land- it’s to be a place of peace. You won't have new worries or fears cropping up. You’ll go and leave the hardships of this world behind and meet Mr. Bilbo and you two will live together once more.”</p><p>“But surely,” Frodo blinked and trailed off. Sam smiled and rubbed his cheek.</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“I suppose we will.”</p><p>“Course you will.</p><p>Frodo quieted and Sam almost asked him what had made him pensive. But then Frodo’s gaze moved down to meet his. His eyes were so warm.</p><p>“And what to do in the meantime?” Frodo asked. “With all this new life given to us?”</p><p>“We’ll share it,” Sam said. Frodo smiled.</p><p>“Yes. But besides that. What do you want?”</p><p>“Oh, the rest don’t matter,” Sam said. “But if I had to say, I want to see where this life we’ve started goes. The life of being Mayor and Deputy Mayor and living in the city and all. Mind I miss Bag End and my Dad something awful.”</p><p>“You never have warmed to the city,” Frodo said, rubbing his shoulder.</p><p>“I have some,” Sam grumbled a little, “but it’s not home. You are home but none of the rest of it is. But I’ll bide there,” Sam said sitting up a little, “It’s not such a hard thing. And I don’t mind it, not if you’re with me.”</p><p>“Ah. Then, it’s just not a place you want to go on living in.”</p><p>“No,” Sam said in a small voice.</p><p>“Then, when things settle down a bit we’ll move back to Bag End.”</p><p>“That’s what I want,” Sam sighed. “Living with you, and working to make the Shire better for everyone, and still able to mostly be in the place that makes my heart happy.” He took Frodo’s hand. “And what do you want?”</p><p>“You. Bag End. Quiet and gentle rhythms of life,” Frodo smiled. “And to bring peace to people.”</p><p>“You don’t want to be Mayor, do you?”</p><p>“No. I’ll do it with you for as long as you want, but my heart isn’t in it and you understand it better than I ever will.”</p><p>“Frodo,” Sam scolded.</p><p>“You do.”</p><p>Sam sank into silence and stroked Frodo’s hand.</p><p>“And I want to finish the book,” Frodo added quietly. “With your help.”</p><p>“Of course,” Sam smiled. “I must tell you all of the sweet moments and make sure you get them all back.”</p><p>“You don’t mind me putting those in the book?”</p><p>“I think it needs those moments. Otherwise it won’t make sense what we did. No, they must know that there was love between us and that our love made it all possible.”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo agreed quietly. He paused before adding, “Would you tell me another of those sweet times?”</p><p>Sam sat up and put his arm around Frodo, pondering.</p><p>“Yes,” he said.</p><p>“I’ve sprung this on you,” Frodo laughed, “It’s alright if you can’t think of one.”</p><p>“No, that’s not it,” Sam said slowly, “It’s just, I think it’s time I told you about Lorien.”</p><p>He could feel Frodo’s attention focus suddenly on him, but Frodo didn’t speak. Instead he settled against Sam’s chest, waiting. Sam took a breath.</p><p>“We went off together one afternoon,” he said quietly, “went walking up among the mallorn trees and we found a little ridge where there was a creek just below and we stopped there and sat under the most beautiful tree I’ve ever seen.” Sam smiled fondly. “We stayed there all afternoon and even after the sunset, just talking. I offered to let you under my cloak when there got to be a chill in the air, but I think we both knew that was just an excuse to cuddle.”</p><p>“We cuddled,” Frodo murmured.</p><p>“We did,” Sam nodded and paused. “You’ve lost this one too, haven’t you?” Frodo nodded. “Oh dearie, I’m sorry. I guessed you might have.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Maybe you’ll see, once I tell you,” Sam said gently. “So we sat there together as the stars came out, sitting close beside one another. You told me that you were glad I’d come and you told me you were glad we could be close. I got bold and put my arm around you and you seemed to like that. You looked at me and I- Oh. I didn’t understand it. Not then. But I think I was in love with you. It was so romantic and I was feeling things. I just didn’t know what to call it. Nor what to make of it,” Sam sighed. Frodo rubbed his back.</p><p>“I wonder if I understood it.”</p><p>“I don’t know. Maybe you did. You let me hold you close,” Sam said softly, “And after a time you told me that you liked it when I held you like that. Said it made you feel safe and loved.”</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo closed his eyes. Sam leaned in and brushed a kiss to his head.</p><p>“I babbled a bit at that,” he laughed, “It took me quite a few words but I told you that you were loved, even if I couldn’t really keep you safe.”</p><p>“But you did, darling,” Frodo whispered to him. Sam closed his eyes. That had hit so close to his heart. He felt Frodo stroke his face and kiss his lips. “You did. Body and heart.”</p><p>“Frodo,” Sam whispered, opening his eyes.</p><p>“Tell me more about Lorien?”</p><p>Sam nodded, gathering himself.</p><p>“You let me run my mouth until my nerves calmed,” Sam said slowly, “and then you told me you loved me too. And I think it was the first time you’d said it out like that. Or maybe you’d said it before, but I never felt it deep like. I felt it then. And you,” Sam blinked, stirring a little, “you kissed my cheek. And my ears, and neck and stroked my hair. And it felt... Oh. Frodo it was like nothing I’d ever felt.”</p><p>“I did that?” Frodo caught his breath.</p><p>“And I kissed you back the same way,” Sam quivered. Tears were suddenly in his eyes. “I didn’t understand. I just knew it felt good. So good. And it made me feel close to you.”</p><p>“Oh Sam,” Frodo clasped him tight. “Did it confuse you and worry you terribly? I am so sorry. Oh darling. I had no idea.”</p><p>“Nay, don’t apologize, it was a sweet memory,” Sam said quietly. “I knew well enough whatever it was, it was you showing me love. And that was the dearest thing to me.”</p><p>“But it wasn’t just friendly touching was it,” Frodo said softly, his expression pained, “we both must have known it was more. And I never spoke of it again, did I? And I never touched you so tenderly again.”</p><p>“Well not for a while,” Sam said.</p><p>“But I must have hurt you as well as confused you,” Frodo sighed.</p><p>“No,” Sam said.</p><p>“No?” Frodo asked, incredulous. Sam shook his head.</p><p>“It was such a separate thing. Lorien was dream like enough. We left not long after and it was just so different then. All the hardness suddenly back on us. There wasn’t time nor place for that kind of thing. And maybe you didn’t speak on it and maybe you never kissed me quite so again, but you never stopped being tender with me. There were always small moments. Glances. Gentleness and understanding between us. That time in Ithilien. That time on the cliffside. Holding my hand in the dark. And if there was hardness from you,” Sam took a breath, “real hardness, not just Frodo Baggins grumbling, well. I knew what was really at the root of it. And it weren’t you.”</p><p>Frodo took his hand. They were silent for a long moment.</p><p>“It pushed, but Sam, that was me. And you mustn’t think it wasn’t. I remember very well each of those moments,” Frodo said quietly. “It made sure of that.”</p><p>Sam sighed. These were well worn tracks between them.</p><p>“It was so cruel to you. For each of those moments,” Sam murmured, “there was another moment between us where I looked at you and forgave you. Whether it was you or It. I forgave. Cause either way, you needed that forgiveness. And we needed forgiveness between us. Don’t doubt it.” Frodo flicked his eyes up to Sam’s and then moved in, hugging him. Sam put a hand to Frodo’s head and stroked his hair. There was a long silence between them, as they curled against one another.</p><p>“Did you think of that time?” Frodo murmured. “That time in Lorien?”</p><p>“Oh. Yes,” Sam said softly.</p><p>“And I suppose you must have understood it later.”</p><p>“At least from my end,” Sam admitted.</p><p>“But you must have known that I felt... That I wanted…”</p><p>“No, not really,” Sam whispered, “It wasn’t none of it strictly romantic kissing even if it felt that way. It <em>could</em> have been as only sweetness. We were so far outside of ordinary. It could have been anything.</p><p>“I knew well enough what was in my heart, but I wasn’t going to go guessing about you. Just because you were friendly with me on a hill in a magical land once. And after what we went through, I didn’t know where you stood on most things, me included. You were changed after. Tired of everything.”</p><p>“Not tired of you.”</p><p>“Well, no. But, you were still a bit far away,” Sam said in a small voice.</p><p>“Yes. I was.”</p><p>“When you came back from Rivendell,” Sam’s voice dropped into a near whisper. “You came back and looked at me. And it was like I was being looked at properly for the first time in a long while. And as time went on and we got close again- it called back that feeling in Lorien, because we didn’t have the weight of the world on us any more and you weren’t looking at me like I was some picture of me you’d made- some pretend hero Samwise who came home and picked up his life and who wasn’t hurt by all the horror. No, you come back from Rivendell and you were looking at me, and seeing who I was now.</p><p>“And who I was, was a hobbit who missed you terribly while you were gone. I was a hobbit who was deeply in love with you and all I wanted in the world was to share my life with you.” Sam laughed softly, “It has been the joy of my life living with you and working with you these past months.” He quieted, “And the joy of my life discovering that you love me like I love you.”</p><p>Frodo sat up and put his hands to Sam’s cheeks, before leaning in to kiss him.</p><p>§</p><p>They walked back to Rivendell under the stars, hand in hand, and remained like that until they reached the doors of their rooms. Sam paused and drew away.</p><p>“If we’re courting then maybe it’s not proper- us sleeping together,” Sam worried.</p><p>“Do you want to sleep apart?”</p><p>“No,” Sam said quietly. Frodo took his hands in his own once more.</p><p>“I think we can make our own rules,” Frodo said gently. “We’ve earned that, hm?”</p><p>“Alright,” Sam said relieved.</p><p>§</p><p>They spent the rest of the evening lounging before the fire, then climbed up on the bed and settled in together. Sam was soon asleep.</p><p>Frodo gazed down at him in the moonlight. As much as he’d adored their evening, it had brought up a worry within him. He’d blindly assumed that when he left to go across the Sea, then Sam would come with him, or back when he’d thought he would leave soon, that Sam would come later. Bilbo it seemed had made the same assumption. But clearly, Sam was not making any such assumption.</p><p>No, Sam wouldn’t assume he had a place of honor or that any reward would be set out for him.</p><p>Frodo realized that he’d been foolish. His own promised life across the Sea had only come about because Queen Arwen had begun to make inquiries on his behalf. She’d given him the jewel that was the symbol of that promised life across the Sea.</p><p>But no one was making inquiries for Sam, nor promising him anything, or pressing symbols of promise into his hands.</p><p><em>But I will,</em> Frodo vowed as he leaned in and kissed Sam’s head.<em> I’ll fight for you, my love.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. In Joy and in Sickness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As September drew to an end, Frodo, Pippin and Sam began preparations for Frodo and Bilbo’s parties. Pippin seemed to have it in his head that it should be a party to outdo even Bilbo’s legendary 111th party. Frodo and Sam lounged together, watching Pippin try and fail to convince the Elves to make magic toys for everyone. He had better luck with the fireworks. But even so, Gandalf had his limits.</p><p>“Bigger,” Pippin whispered, wide eyed as he watched Gandalf sketch the rocket. Gandalf looked up and squinted at him.</p><p>“If I set the valley of Rivendell on fire,” Gandalf grumbled, “Elrond won’t thank me.”</p><p>“The fireworks are magic aren’t they?” Pippin asked airly, pursing his lips. “Just make them not do that.” Gandalf’s grumbling increased.</p><p>“Can you make golden ones?” Frodo asked dreamily, from his place by the fire pit as he looked up at the sky. Gandalf instantly softened.</p><p>“Yes, I can make golden ones.”</p><p>“Oh, so Frodo gets whatever he wants,” Pippin sulked. “But I can’t have my dragon one.”</p><p>“That wouldn’t be polite here,” Gandalf said in reasoned tones.</p><p>“It wasn’t polite in the Shire either,” Frodo said with a smirk at Gandalf. Gandalf pretended innocence.</p><p>“Hm? It was funny though.”</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo enjoyed the party immensely. It felt like an echo of some dear thing long lost, but now back, and made better because he liked the people sitting around him and Bilbo. There had been an admiring stir from the crowd when he’d come down the steps to greet the guests, with Sam on his arm.</p><p>They were both dressed in fine Elf silks and Sam wore a bright corsage of roses that Frodo had made for him. Back home, wearing such a thing was an open declaration of courtship. Frodo wasn’t so sure it meant the same thing here, but even so, the hand holding and loving gestures must have gotten the same point across.</p><p>Bilbo managed to stay up long past his usual bedtime of six o’clock, laughing with Gandalf and sticking close to Frodo. There was a lingering knowledge that this was a joy that would not come again, at least in this world.</p><p>Despite not having much time, Frodo and Bilbo still gave out some very choice gifts.</p><p>Frodo passed Merry a pouch of fragrant pipeweed, wrapped in a tight knit cloth with gorgeous blue and white patterns. Merry took it, his eyes alight with wonder as he sniffed it.</p><p>“Where… How?” Merry babbled. “I’ve never smelled any weed so nice!”</p><p>“Look, I’m supposed to pretend I got it, but we both know I didn’t,” Frodo whispered, “this came from Gandalf’s personal store so if you want to know about it go ask him if he knows the lore of the thing and mind you pretend not to know it came from him!”</p><p>“Alright,” Merry said cheerfully and hugged Frodo. “Happy birthday!”</p><p>§</p><p>As it grew later Frodo found himself among a group of Elves. Bilbo had long ago gone to bed and Frodo had lost track of his other fellow hobbits. He listened for a long time to the Elves' talk and their stories, but trying to understand Sindarin when he was tipsy was making him sleepy. He excused himself and wandered among the pavilions and over the River bridge. Finally he found Pippin among a small lingering clutter of partygoers, and further on he spotted Sam and Merry sitting together in front of a fire pit. Pippin approached Frodo and turned back, smiling.</p><p>“They've been at that for a while now,” Pippin said, nodding to Merry and Sam. Sam was talking and guesting with his pipe as Merry listened.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Frodo asked squinting at Pippin.</p><p>“Last I heard, Sam was telling Merry each of the finer points of building a proper compost.”</p><p>“So?” Frodo asked severely. He wasn’t going to put up with Pippin making fun of Sam for getting excited about something.</p><p>“I’m only reporting!” Pippin laughed.</p><p>“Well I see that Merry is being a good listener,” Frodo noted approvingly.</p><p>“Merry’s also stoned off his ass,” Pippin said. Frodo blinked.</p><p>“He’s still being a good listener.”</p><p>“Fair enough. But he’s not going to remember any of it.”</p><p>“Pippin, go antagonize someone else.”</p><p>“Gandalf already told me off,” Pippin sniffed. Frodo laughed and put a hand around Pippin’s shoulders.</p><p>“I’m forgetting my manners! Come have a drink with me. You can antagonize me as much as you like.”</p><p>Pippin was about to answer when there was a shriek in the air and then a loud pop above their heads. The sky exploded into golden sparks, fanning out for miles. Frodo laughed as more fireworks shot up into the night sky. One of the cluster of sparks drew up into the shape of a soft round dragon that fluttered down the valley before fading into smoke.</p><p>“Yeah!” Pippin cheered.</p><p>§</p><p>A few days later Frodo was seated up in one of the towers, facing Gandalf and Galadriel. He took a breath. He’d asked for this meeting not long before his birthday and told Gandalf what he wanted to talk about. He’d half expected Gandalf to tell him that of course Sam would have a place across the Sea, but instead Gandalf had gone quiet and said that Frodo must bring this to Galadriel. But she had been out riding the country, hunting wraiths. She’d returned for this meeting. It made Frodo feel even more nervous, but he held himself steady. This was important.</p><p>“I am very grateful that a place in Valinor was granted to me,” he said to them, “but I will not take it unless Sam is also granted the same honor. I don’t mean to offend either of you, but I must make this clear. I will not go if he can’t.”</p><p>Galadriel considered him, silent. After a long silence, Gandalf leaned forward.</p><p>“The way it’s come to be, is that I spoke for Bilbo,” he said slowly, “and after Lady Arwen petitioned on your behalf to her father, Elrond has spoken for you.” He paused, “If Sam is to go across the Sea then the Lady Galadriel would need to speak for him.”</p><p>Frodo turned to her.</p><p>“Will you?” he asked, pleading. She remained silent, studying him.</p><p>“Sam bore It,” Gandalf said softly to Galadriel. “And that evil touched his soul.” Frodo shivered to hear such a thing, though he knew it well enough. Galadriel only continued to regard Frodo.</p><p>“If you refuse the place granted to you, your heart will never be wholly healed.”</p><p>“I won’t get on a ship if Sam can’t come with me,” Frodo said once more, quietly.</p><p>“It is your choice if you want to stay,” Galadriel said. Gandalf sent her a look then gazed back at Frodo, clearly upset.</p><p>“Give us a bit of time,” he said, “there are others that must be consulted.”</p><p>“Of course,” Frodo nodded. He rose, feeling his legs shake beneath him and he made his way out.</p><p>§</p><p>Having to wait for such an answer made Frodo worry, but October came on and soon he didn’t have the strength to worry. On October fourth he went to Bilbo’s chamber and curled up with him before the fire. They napped the afternoon away, and when evening came he found he didn’t have the strength to rise. Bilbo sent for Sam.</p><p>§</p><p>Sam hurried down the corridor, coming to Bilbo’s door and found it open. He stepped in and caught sight of Frodo lying with his head in Bilbo’s lap. He approached quietly.</p><p>“How silly of me,” Frodo croaked. “Doesn’t usually start this quick.” Bilbo rubbed his shoulder, trying to sooth him. Frodo fell silent. Speaking was sapping his strength.</p><p>“Don’t you worry. I’ve been getting ready.” Sam said, “I’ve got <em>athelas</em> steaming and all the fixings for your favorite soups and teas.” He knelt by them. He could feel Bilbo watching him but his attention was on Frodo. He reached out and stroked Frodo’s hair.</p><p>“Do you want to go to bed?” Sam asked gently. Frodo nodded weakly. Sam moved in and took Frodo in his arms lifting him to his chest.</p><p>“Oh Sam-lad, don’t hurt yourself now,” Bilbo fussed.</p><p>“Nay Mr. Bilbo. I shan’t,” Sam said, walking carefully with Frodo held in his arms.</p><p>Frodo wasn’t as light as he’d been in Mordor but Sam was still able to lift him without much strain. His forestry work and rebuilding had given him strength, and a few months of paperwork had not diminished it in the least..</p><p>Frodo put his cheek to Sam’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Sam bid Bilbo goodbye and carried Frodo back along the hall to their room. Pippin hovered nearby, opening doors and pulling back the blankets. Sam lay Frodo down and climbed up behind him. Frodo was shivering now and Sam couldn’t bear it. He put himself at Frodo’s back, pulling him into his arms to warm him.</p><p>“I’ll build up the fire?” Pippin asked.</p><p>“Please,” Sam murmured. Pippin did so and soon enough there was a warm blaze in the hearth and the air in the room began to lose it’s chill. Frodo was asleep before Pippin finished.</p><p>“Sam?” Pippin asked quietly as he came back to the bed, “Are you hungry?”</p><p>“Go on if you like,” Sam whispered back.</p><p>“No, I meant, I’ll bring it. You won’t have to leave. I’ll bring you anything you like,” Pippin said.</p><p>“No thank you.”</p><p>“Aren’t you hungry?” Pippin asked.</p><p>“No,” Sam whispered. Pippin set a hand to his back. They were both very much aware of Sam’s tendency to lose all appetite when Frodo was ill.</p><p>“Alright, but I’m making you eat tomorrow.”</p><p>“As you like.”</p><p>“Can I stay?”</p><p>“Course you can. Would you like to get in front of him? Help me keep him warm?” Sam asked kindly. Pippin nodded and crawled around before snuggling up to Frodo. Frodo opened his eyes and made a soft sound of contentment.</p><p>“Hey Pip,” he croaked.</p><p>“Hey Fro.”</p><p>Sam smiled and put his face to the back of Frodo’s neck, rubbing him to work into the heat from his own body. Gradually they all three fell asleep together.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Planning a Future</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pippin scurried down the hall until he reached Merry’s room. He let himself in without knocking and went to the bed. Merry was there, blinking at him, looking irritable.</p><p>“How are you?” Pippin asked him.</p><p>“They changed my bandage last night and drained the wound.” Pippin wrinkled his nose.</p><p>“Gross.”</p><p>“You asked, ass.”</p><p>“Do you feel up to a short walk?”</p><p>“Hell no.”</p><p>“Oh,” Pippin couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his face.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Nothing, it’s alright,” Pippin said, trying to be bright.</p><p>“No, tell me what you wanted. A short walk where? And why?”</p><p>Pippin took a breath.</p><p>“I know I shouldn’t bother you like this but I need help. Sam won’t eat and I don’t want leave Frodo alone and-"</p><p>“I’m sorry what?”’Merry struggled up. “What the hell. I sleep one day away and-“ he gasped, “wait. What day is it?”</p><p>“October fifth.” Pippin sniffed, adding, “it started early and-"</p><p>“And Sam’s not eating.”</p><p>“You know how he gets,” Pippin felt himself about to cry. “I got Frodo to eat earlier but Sam said the thought of eating made him feel ill. I thought Sam might agree to leave Frodo if you stayed with him. I’ll need to see to Sam.”</p><p>“Say no more. I’m coming,” Merry struggled up from the bed. “Pippin! You know an Elf could see to Sam. Or maybe Gandalf or Faramir. Hell, Bilbo could get Sam to do anything.”</p><p>“They can’t take care of him like I can,” Pippin said stubbornly as he went to help Merry stand up. “Just like no one can take care of Frodo like you can.”</p><p>“Alright. Alright. I understand.”</p><p>§</p><p>Together Merry and Pippin entered the bedroom. Merry moved out of Pippin’s arms and went to the bedside, reaching for Frodo’s hand. Frodo opened his eyes and clasped his hand weakly.</p><p>“Merry,” he called softly.</p><p>“Frodo,” Merry whispered and climbed up into the bed, lying down and putting his arm around Frodo.</p><p>Merry always felt enormous tenderness when he curled up with Frodo, especially when he was sick like this, but there was something different this time. There was something aching and painful that drew them together, as they held one another shivering.</p><p>It might have been his imagination, but Merry couldn’t help but feel that the Morgul poison in their bodies had created some deeply sympathetic bond between them. Merry stroked Frodo’s hair and kissed his forehead.</p><p>“Don’t leave, Merry,” Frodo whispered.</p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p>“But you Sam,” Pippin’s voice came, “you come with me. Come on!”</p><p>“I don’t feel like it,” Sam said grumpily.</p><p>“Sam.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Sam,” Merry said, “we have your best interests at heart. Trust Pippin.”</p><p>“Mmmpf.”</p><p>“Sam,” Pippin said severely, “I stole one of Gandalf’s fireworks. I’ll set it off in this bed if you don’t come with me.”</p><p>“Ooh Sam’s driven Pippin to murder,” Merry whispered to Frodo. Frodo snorted weakly.</p><p>“I could at least get warm that way,” Frodo said woozily. He reached back clumsily and patted Sam. “Go eat.” Sam only grumbled.</p><p>“Sam,” Pippin said again.</p><p>“You said you’d leave me be till tomorrow,” Sam growled as he curled tighter into Frodo’s back.</p><p>“That was yesterday,” Pippin said and began to tug at Sam. Sam opened his eyes and watched Pippin struggle and fail to move him.</p><p>“Take pity on him Sam,” Merry said. “I’ll keep Frodo safe.”</p><p>Those seemed to be the magic words, for Sam moved at last, letting Pippin pull him off the bed then.</p><p>§</p><p>Pippin helped Sam along the halls. Sam blinked blearily as they passed into the Great Hall and Pippin guided him to a seat.</p><p>“We’ll get a little food in you, and I think you’ll feel better,” Pippin said. Sam nodded, but he didn’t look convinced. Pippin sat up, catching sight of Bilbo nearby. He stood and waved. Slowly, Bilbo came over and greeted them.</p><p>“Uncle Bilbo,” Pippin said sweetly, “won’t you join us?” Bilbo eyed him suspiciously.</p><p>“Sam,” he said, turning to him, “what is that Took up to? I’m too old for surprises.”</p><p>“I think he wants you here so he can bully me easier into eating,” Sam said with a faint smile. Bilbo eased and took a seat beside Sam.</p><p>“Not hungry, my Sam-lad?” he said gently.</p><p>“I’ll try and eat,” Sam said in a small voice. “I’m sorry Mr. Pippin for worrying you. I know I must eat something.”</p><p>“Would it help if you had some proper hobbit food?” Bilbo said smiling, “I seem to remember a certain little Gamgee child who could not get enough of my pan fried potatoes with bacon, cheese, and mushrooms.” Sam blinked and looked up. “Ah! I was right! You just let your Mr. Bilbo cook for you, dear lad.” Bilbo patted his back and rose, going off to the kitchens. Sam watched him, wistful and red cheeked. He turned back to Pippin.</p><p>“You know? That actually sounds good. It’s about the only thing I’m hungry for.”</p><p>“No one can cook like him,” Pippin said quietly, “I remember those potatoes. Frodo cooks them too, but it’s not quite the same is it?”</p><p>Sam shook his head.</p><p>“Mr. Bilbo is a very special hobbit.”</p><p>§</p><p>Merry watched a sliver of afternoon light illuminate the far wall. Other than that light and the faint glow from the morning’s fire, there was little light in the room. But it felt right- cozy and restful.</p><p>“I don’t want to be ill,” Frodo complained. Merry smiled.</p><p>“I know,” he soothed. But Frodo wasn’t done.</p><p>“I just want this over so I can get back to doing what I want,” Frodo quivered. “I’ve never felt so impatient about this before.” He sniffed, “what if my sicknesses keep getting longer?”</p><p>“Then we’ll take care of you.”</p><p>Frodo tucked his face against Merry’s neck and hugged him.</p><p>“What do you want to get back to?” Merry asked. “Tell me all the nice things you want to do.”</p><p>“Courting Sam,” Frodo murmured, “and it’s coming along. I want to get back to that. I want to spend time with Bilbo. And I want to laze around with you and Pippin.”</p><p>“All beautiful things to look forward to.”</p><p>“Want to do it now.”</p><p>Merry began to rub along his shoulder.</p><p>“Would you say one of your healing verses for yourself?” he asked quietly.</p><p>“It doesn’t work as well when I’m doing it for myself,” Frodo sighed.</p><p>“Then do it for both of us,” Merry murmured. Frodo opened his eyes, pondering this, then nodded. Merry lay still as Frodo began to sing the words over them, his voice soft and sweet. He didn’t illuminate this time, but even so, Merry could feel warmth and strength flowing between them.</p><p>Afterward they lay together quietly and Merry thought he might have dozed off.</p><p>“I want to ask Sam to marry me,” Frodo said quietly. Merry opened his eyes. Frodo looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes, but even so his face was lit with a kind of soft glowing joy.</p><p>“Oh Frodo,” Merry murmured and smiled. He couldn’t stop smiling, he was so suddenly happy.</p><p>“I know it’s a bit sudden. And I won’t do it right away. But when we go home, I want to live with him as a wedded couple. I want to work on the Book and help Sam with his work and I want to spend each day with him. I want him to know how much I love him. I want everyone to know how much I love him. I want it all so much.”</p><p>Merry stared at him, looking stunned.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Merry couldn’t speak for a moment. When he did speak his voice was slightly choked.</p><p>“You’re planning a future for yourself.”</p><p>Frodo stilled.</p><p>“Yes,” he said warily. Merry’s eyes were bright and he began to cry. Wordlessly Frodo moved to him and drew Merry into a hug.</p><p>“And,” Merry said quietly, “and a future with things you <em>want</em> for yourself. Oh. Frodo.” Frodo smiled and held him tight. They settled in once more.</p>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Going Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You guys, the falling action of this story is going to be a while (it’s a lotr story. It’s tradition.) - there’s just a bunch of things I want to stick in. Bear with me and I hope you enjoy. I’m getting around to important things scattered in among all the jokes and fluff and angst.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn’t until mid-October that Frodo began to feel well again. He was sitting up and making short trips now, though he would get tired out. One afternoon, he and Merry were out together, sitting in the shade in an out of the way nook by the river. Merry had brought out hot drinks and a thick wooly blanket for them to share. They sat together, under the warm blanket, sipping.</p><p>“So tell me, when are you going to marry him?” Merry asked in a near whisper. Frodo stared. Merry hadn’t asked it in a pushy way, but even so, Frodo had to press down his instinctual irritation. This was Merry. If he was asking then there was probably a reason.</p><p>“We just started courting,” Frodo said.</p><p>“Courting is for getting to know the person. I think you know Sam well enough,” Merry sniffed. </p><p>“There are some new things involved,” Frodo said a little tightly.</p><p>“What, sex? You’ll figure that out well enough. I don’t see why that should hold you up.” </p><p>Frodo blinked and stared harder at Merry. This was really very unlike him.</p><p>“Sorry, are you in a hurry to see me married or something?” he asked. Merry had the decency to look a little sheepish at this.</p><p>“I’d like for you to be settled,” he said. Frodo made a face.</p><p>“Settled! I am settled. I still don’t see what the rush is about,” Frodo said and let his irritation show.</p><p>“Alright, sorry,” Merry said. He was quiet for a moment. “It’s just that, it’s something you want, isn’t it?” Frodo watched him. His irritation melted.</p><p>“Yes,” he said softly.</p><p>“It’s probably down to my nearly dying that I’m pushing at you, but Frodo, let me tell you, it doesn’t do to wait for things. Not when you know you want them and there’s nothing standing in the way of you going out and living the way you want to.” He took a breath. “Oh damn it. Here I am lecturing <em>you </em>about near death. Call me an ass if you like.”</p><p>“Not yet,” Frodo said. He moved closer and peered at Merry.  “If you’re pushing at me like this, then what is it you're pushing yourself into, hm?”</p><p>Merry gave him an amazed look. Frodo laughed. </p><p>“Dear Merry! You’re always scolding me when I underestimate your’s and Pippin’s insight. Can’t I have a little insight of my own?” Merry snorted. He was silent a moment, then began to speak quietly. </p><p>“I’m not just going to go back home and stay in Buckland like a good boy.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“I felt so terrible for worrying my family after our journey, leaving when I thought they needed me,” Merry said softly, “So ever since I’ve come back, I’ve let them run my life. But no more. I’m going to see you and Sam and Pippin more often. I’m going to work in the Shire too. And I’m going to go see Ithilien.” He took a breath. “And… Father told me that it was time I stopped my foolishness with the East Farthing circle.”</p><p>“He knows about the East Farthing circle?’ Frodo asked, gasping a little. Merry sighed.</p><p>“He knows of them, but he thinks that I go off to have lazy social parties with them,” he said. Frodo blinked.</p><p>“But you do.”</p><p>“Father’s idea of lazy social parties doesn’t involve a group of friends who make love to each other, where more often than not I am ass in the air for Estalla Bolger’s cock.”</p><p>“Well that’s just a good party.”</p><p>“I think so,” Merry chuckled, but sobered quickly. “I haven’t seen them but a time or two since I’ve been back. Father’s got some woman from Newbery who he's decided I’m going to marry. I’ve met her a few times. She’s nice, but there’s nothing that connects us. I don’t think she’s very keen either.”</p><p>“That doesn’t sound like a good match.”</p><p>“No. I’m almost positive she wouldn’t have any interest in strap-ons.”</p><p>“Merry,” Frodo snorted. Merry smiled, but his eyes were sad. Frodo sat up and took his hand. “That’s just no good then. You have a fondness for cock like I have a fondness for mushrooms.”</p><p>“I think you’re pretty fond of cock as well, Frodo Baggins.”</p><p>“Hm. Well. Yes.”</p><p>“So! You see I’m determined to go out and make the life I want no matter if it isn’t proper or expected or if I’m seen as hasty and wild. And I am not getting married!”</p><p>“Oh. But here you are trying to tell me to marry,” Frodo said dryly.</p><p>“That’s different!” Merry said. “It’s different and you know it! You want to marry Sam. Father is trying to make me marry because it looks good.”</p><p>Frodo shook his head, thinking. </p><p>“Well, it is something to ponder I suppose,” he mused, “And there are a number of considerations…” Frodo said quietly but didn’t elaborate. </p><p>“Do you really think Sam isn’t ready to pledge himself to you and share a life with you?” Merry asked. Frodo raised his eyes. Merry held up his hands. “Alright! You needn’t answer me. I’m just posing questions here.”</p><p>“Very well, but let me pose a few,” Frodo said wickedly. “Why are you stalling about getting into bed with Éowyn and Faramir?”</p><p>“My side hasn’t fully healed,” Merry frowned. </p><p>“You need a fully healed side before you can pleasure a woman with your tongue?” Frodo asked innocently, “granted, I’m no expert…”</p><p>“Rotter,” Merry sulked. “If only everyone knew just how much of a clever asshole you are.”</p><p>“Still trying to learn about the anatomy of Big People?” Frodo pressed, ignoring him. </p><p>“Yes if you must know.”</p><p>“Ah,” Frodo brightened and stood. “I think I’m up for a short walk. I’ll take you to the library. I’ve stumbled on some very inspirational books that might give you a few ideas about how to handle them, even with an injured side.”</p><p>“You stumbled on these books hm?” Merry laughed. </p><p>“Yes,” Frodo said without elaborating and took Merry’s hand, drawing him out into the walkway. </p><p>§</p><p>As they left the library, books under their arms, giggling, Frodo and Merry were brought up short as they turned the corner and came face to face with Elrond. Merry gasped and jumped, but Frodo only gazed up.</p><p>“Frodo, Meriadoc,” Elrond greeted them. The two hobbits made a little bow.</p><p>“Sir.”</p><p>“Frodo, could I have a word?”</p><p>“Yes sir,” Frodo said and glanced at Merry. Merry swallowed and went on, moving down the hallway. Elrond began to walk and Frodo went with him, hoping that Elrond didn’t plan on a long walk. But to his relief he only walked as far as a bench by the river. </p><p>“There are wraiths in the Trollshaws,” Elrond said. Frodo gasped and came to sit beside him. </p><p>“That’s close,” Frodo murmured. </p><p>“They are being drawn here.”</p><p><em>Oh, by the Nine Rings, </em>Frodo thought. </p><p>“Do you still want to go out there?” Elrond asked. </p><p>“I do,” Frodo nodded. </p><p>“Are you well enough?”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo said softly. Elrond eyed him but didn’t comment further.</p><p>“Gandalf asked me to tell you that he will go with you,” Elrond said. </p><p>“When do we leave?” Frodo asked quietly.</p><p>“Tomorrow morning. Make your preparations and please let me know if you need anything.”</p><p>“Yes, sir. Thank you,” Frodo murmured.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo told Sam that night what Elrond had said. They were seated together in their room by the window. As Frodo spoke, Sam’s eyes grew wide.</p><p>“Is there a rush? Can’t they let you rest a bit?” he asked.</p><p>“I’m well enough,” Frodo said softly. “And it isn’t far. I said that I would go, and I feel that I must.” Sam considered this.</p><p>“Can I go?” he asked. </p><p>“Yes, if you want to,” Frodo said gently, “but you know, you don’t have to. I’ll be with a company of Elves and Gandalf, and I promise I’ll wear my mithril.” Sam nodded, quiet, and dropped his gaze. “You still want to go?” Sam looked pained and didn’t answer. Frodo blinked and moved closer and took his hand, waiting and gentle. Sam bit his lip. “You don’t have to decide this minute.” He said and paused, surprised. He could feel Sam trembling.</p><p>“Ah,” Sam sighed.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Frodo asked in a whisper. Sam shook his head.</p><p>“Nothing really. I’m being foolish,” he said.</p><p>“Sam.”</p><p>Sam met his eyes.</p><p>“I can’t bear to think of you stepping foot outside Rivendell,” he admitted in a whisper, “and disappearing round the bend, leaving me behind, no matter who you’ve got with you. It feels wrong not to run after you - as wrong as it felt when we got separated during the journey.” He winced. “I don’t understand! I felt alright when you went roaming about the Shire last year. I even felt alright you traveling here with Mr. Gandalf earlier this spring. But now I’m being so silly.” He wiped away a tear. “I know there’s going to be times you need to go places and I shouldn’t go. It just feels…” he shook his head slowly. “It’s like… do you remember in Minas Tirith when they had us sleeping apart, but I would get up in the night and come sit by your bed? Cause it felt wrong not to keep watch while you slept?”</p><p>Frodo nodded. It was something they’d never told anyone else about. </p><p>“I knew then there was no sense in it. And yet… And I know now there’s no cause for needing to go with you.” He hid his face in his hands. “ I know you’ll be safe. I know I can bear it.”</p><p>“You can also be kinder to yourself,” Frodo said gently, “there’s no reason you have to stay behind.”</p><p>“But I’m ashamed,” Sam said very quietly. Frodo took Sam in his arms and Sam put his head on Frodo’s shoulder. Frodo held him close. He wanted the wisdom to answer Sam’s fears and hurt and he was afraid he lacked that wisdom. </p><p>“The only reason I am alive- why any of us are alive- is because you came with me. And you stayed with me. And you followed and made sure we stayed together no matter that the world was falling apart and death and shadow and horror was all around us. </p><p>“Your heart learned that our lives depended on staying together. And now- we’ve just faced death or worse once more. It’s not surprising that the old fears would come back strong after that. And that’s alright.” Sam drew in a quick breath and clutched tight to him. “It’s alright. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Sam, dear, you know there’s things I can’t let go of just yet either. You know that this latest test brought some of my own fears out. I understand. Remember what I said on the road? We were hurt. It’s alright to feel that hurt and not try to bury it away.”</p><p>Sam remained silent but he held on tight. </p><p>“If I had to guess,” Frodo said softly, “I’d think that the fear will ease as time goes on, just as it did last time. You kept vigil over me in Minas Tirith, but your heart learned after a time that it was alright to let yourself sleep. It will be so again, I think.”</p><p>“What if that fear doesn’t go away this time? It won’t do. It’s not right. I need to stop being a cursed fool.”</p><p>“Be gentle, darling. Would you tell me that I’m a cursed fool when I am afraid?” </p><p>Sam shook his head, but he still looked unhappy. Frodo kissed his head.</p><p>“Come lay down,” he said stroking his cheeks. Sam’s expression softened. Together they went to bed. As they settled in, Frodo scooted up to Sam and put his arms around him. Sam nestled into his embrace, making a soft grateful murmur. </p>
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<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Venturing into the New</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They set out early the next morning, riding through the mountain passes as mist rose from the river below them. Frodo and Sam were riding together on Sweet Pea, who walked among the the Elves’ horses without a qualm. Ahead, Gandalf rode on Shadowfax, next to Glorfindel, who was leading their group. </p><p>They rode all morning until they were out in the rolling hills of the Trollshawls, pausing deep in that country for a break. According to the Elves they were near to the place where the wraiths had been cornered. After this brief rest, they would go and find the group of Elves who were holding the creatures, and Frodo would do what he’d come to do. </p><p>They’d eaten a small meal and Frodo went off a little ways to sit beside a creek with a number of the Elves to ready himself. They were sitting quietly, eyes closed. Sam wasn’t sure what it was they were doing exactly but it had the air of magic and solumness to it, so he settled himself away from them, not wanting to be a distraction. Gandalf came to sit with him. </p><p>“He’s so strong,” Sam said quietly, after a moment. He was gazing at Frodo. He was such a small figure among all those Elves. “I hope he can go heal those wretched souls.” He paused. “He will. And maybe strong isn’t the whole of it. He’s kind and determined and he believes in healing.”</p><p>“He’s also very at peace,” Gandalf murmured, “more at peace than I have seen him in a while.” He smiled, adding, “I think some of that is because you are here.” Sam felt himself blush.</p><p>“Well. We like being with each other of course, but you mustn’t think he needs me with him to be at peace and to be strong.”</p><p>Gandalf was quiet. They watched as Sweet Pea pranced around Shadowfax, bluffing every so often that she was going to chase him. Shadowfax watched her, flicking an ear, his neck arched up, projecting dignity. </p><p>“The truth is,” Sam said,”I’m here for my own peace of mind. He’s perfectly fine going off like this, but I’m having a hard time. It’s a bit silly, tagging along like this, I know,” Sam smiled though he was aching on the inside. Gandalf turned to watch him.</p><p>“I don’t think so.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>Gandalf paused.</p><p>“I think you love him very much and you’ve had a very frightening experience.”</p><p>“Your being kind,” Sam murmured. </p><p>“Recovering from such a thing cannot happen overnight.”</p><p>Shadowfax gave up his disinterested dignity and pounced forward, nipping playfully at Sweet Pea. The pony neighed in delight and darted out of range, turning to nip at Shadowfax’s flank. </p><p>“A lor’ Sweet Pea!” Sam complained, “brassy lass! You're no match for that horse. Don’t go breaking a leg.”</p><p>“Shadowfax won’t let her get hurt,” Gandalf smiled. </p><p>§</p><p>“So tonight then?” Pippin asked with interest. He and Merry were seated together, having tea on one of the high parapets looking down over the valley. Merry nodded.</p><p>“Éowyn and Faramir are game and I’ve thought of a few things I can do that aren’t <em>too </em>taxing on the abdominal muscles.”</p><p>“Sex that isn’t taxing on the abdominal muscles?’ Pippin frowned thoughtfully then shrugged. “Ah well. If you say so.” He took a sip of tea. “Ooh that’s good.  But just remember you’ll have to try and avert your eyes from their weird little hairless feet. Ug! That would kill my boner.” </p><p>“That’s because you’re closed minded Pip,” Merry said with a smug smile. </p><p>“I am not!”</p><p>“You are.”</p><p>Pippin sulked and Merry laughed.</p><p>“You know, it’s altogether possible that Big People don’t find our glorious feet attractive.”</p><p>“No!” Pippin scoffed. “Impossible.”</p><p>Merry chuckled and gazed out at the view. He smiled and drank his tea.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo lowered his hand, his heart still and at peace as he gazed at the form before him. He gazed back. All was still for a long moment, and then the Man before him bowed his head, and faded away. He was the last of the five. </p><p>The Elves had asked how Frodo wanted to approach them and Frodo had said that he wanted to see each of the wraiths one at a time. There was something about it that he felt gave them dignity. He had been afraid that the wraiths would scream and struggle when they saw the first of their number fade away, but instead they had all fallen silent and gone still. </p><p>Frodo had looked each Man in the face and spoke to them gently.</p><p>“I am sorry this happened to you. I want to take the poison away.”</p><p>Throughout it all, Gandalf was there at his side, and Sam just a short distance away. Frodo could feel Sam’s discomfort near the wraiths and made a note to himself that he would do what he could to comfort Sam later. Maybe even get him smiling and laughing. But for now, he was exhausted. He stepped back and felt dizzy with fatigue. </p><p>“Alright?” Sam asked, coming up beside him. Frodo felt himself ease and allow himself to show just how tired he was.</p><p>“I need to lie down,” he said. Sam nodded. “I’ll bring you to the camp. Can you get up on Sweet Pea?” he asked. Frodo nodded.</p><p>“I can manage that. But not much more.”</p><p>“I’ll see to the rest,” Sam said and kissed his forehead and then his lips. “Sit yourself down. I’ll just be a moment.” Frodo sank down and Gandalf sat down with him. </p><p>“I am amazed by you,” Gandalf said softly. Frodo smiled but didn’t have the strength to answer. </p><p>§</p><p>Sam brought Frodo back to the Elves’ camp just over the ridge. There were tents made and Sam and Frodo had been given one all for themselves. Sam had walked Frodo inside and helped him settle down. He’d held Frodo’s hand until he fell asleep.</p><p>And it was a deep sleep. After a short time Sam rose soundlessly and left the tent. He didn’t go far, only to the small ring of stones where Gandalf was seated beside a nice little campfire. He was boiling water and stirring the fire every so often. Sam took a seat beside him.</p><p>“I think he’ll be out for a while,” Sam said. “At least till dinner if I’m any judge.”</p><p>“You take such good care of him,” Gandalf said. “I can see how much it means to him.” Sam blushed but didn’t protest. He felt warmed.</p><p>“He takes care of me, and I take care of him,” Sam said quietly.  </p><p>“I was glad to see how openly affectionate you were with him,” Gandalf noted as he shifted the logs. “I don’t think I would have seen you kiss him like that in front of an entire company of Elves even a few months ago.”</p><p>“Oh. Well. No. Suppose there’s been a few changes in that way,” Sam said shyly. Gandalf smiled but didn’t press him. “Mr. Gandalf?” Sam said quietly. “I told you once I didn’t know what to do with my feeling for him, though I loved him like a husband might. Do you remember?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“I still do love him like that,” Sam said with a warm glow. “But I feel like now I know what to do with those feelings.” He could feel himself smiling, the power of his joy was palpable around him in the golden cold afternoon light.</p><p>“I’m very glad to hear that.”</p><p>Sam laughed, just for the joy of it. </p><p>§</p><p>Later in the afternoon, Frodo awoke from his rest and crawled out of the tent. He found Gandalf nearby, smoking his pipe. Frodo spotted Sam at the far end of the clearing, seated near the fire helping the Elves cook their dinner. He smiled and took a seat next to Gandalf. Gandalf turned to him.</p><p>“Good rest?”</p><p>“Very good. Are you guarding me?” he asked.</p><p>“Well,” Gandalf shrugged.</p><p>“You don’t have to, but I am very grateful,” Frodo smiled.</p><p>“I was mostly having a talk with Sam, and then he went off to make dinner.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>Frodo paused for a moment.</p><p>“He looks happier,” he said. “You’ve cheered him up.”</p><p>“He is cooking,” Gandalf said gruffly, “That always cheers Sam up.”</p><p>“He’s singing,” Frodo said as Sam's voice came on the wind. </p><p>“So he is.”</p><p>Frodo moved closer and cuddled into Gandalf’s side. Gandalf put an arm around his shoulders.</p><p>“Dear hobbit.”</p><p>§</p><p>That night Sam and Frodo settled into their tent. They were both feeling happy that they would be returning to Rivendell the next day. Frodo felt much better after the rest and the meal and he intended to enjoy the evening. Their joy and joy in being together grew into giddiness and before long they were giggling, making bad jokes, and falling against each other. </p><p>“Hush now or you’ll have trolls coming down to see what all the fuss is about,” Sam teased. </p><p>Frodo only giggled harder and threw his arms around Sam. Sam laughed and rolled over him, trying to tickle him but Frodo squirmed away. </p><p>“Ah here now! Naughty hobbit!” Sam gasped. </p><p>“Mm! Nooo!” Frodo squeaked and pulled him down. They rolled together in the thick furs and blankets they’d been given, laughing, each trying to pin the other. Frodo felt a flush of warm life and vitality spreading through his body. Rolling around and laughing with Sam made his heart feel full and his body feel alive and strong.</p><p>They were both breathing heavily. This wasn’t the first time Frodo had felt a little heat in their gaming but he’d never let it grow. He did now. </p><p>Sam pressed forward and came down in his lap. He stilled. </p><p><em>Well this was inevitable, </em>Frodo thought. </p><p>“Excuse me,” Frodo said only a little bashfully, “I got a little excited.” Sam’s surprised expression melted into warmth. </p><p>“That’s alright,” he said. Frodo smiled back. He wasn’t sure what to do now. He lifted his gaze to Sam’s once more. “And you…?”</p><p>Sam blushed.</p><p>“No,” he said, “but, now. Ah. Now, knowing you are… it’s making me…”</p><p>“Ah,” Frodo looked into his face and he could see something in Sam’s face that answered his desire. Frodo’s confidence grew. </p><p>“Do you want to keep playing?”</p><p>“<em>Keep</em> playing?” Sam’s blush faded but didn’t go away. “But this is new.”</p><p>“It doesn’t have to be all new,” Frodo said softly, “we roll around and pin each other and play.”</p><p>“And we kiss.”</p><p>“Yes. We kiss,” Frodo breathed. “So…?”</p><p>Sam met his eyes and nodded. Frodo moved closer drawing Sam back over him. “Tussle with me Sam. Kiss me. Rub against me.”</p><p>Sam whimpered and fell forward, catching Frodo and kissing him. They twined around each other.</p><p>It was the most natural thing. His body and heart knew what they needed and so Frodo let his instincts guide him. They rolled against one another, limbs tangling as they kissed and pressed. </p><p>Sam pinned him and indulged in a long slow kiss until Frodo grew restless and rolled him off, plopping over him and putting his leg between Sam’s legs. He was warm and hard and he giggled as Frodo kissed his neck. </p><p>“Ah! You’ve got me!” Sam whispered. Frodo pressed against his cock. “Mmm,” Sam sighed and began to rub slowly. “Feel how hard I am for you?” He whispered. </p><p>“My goodness Sam Gamgee,” Frodo laughed, “now who’s the naughty hobbit?”</p><p>Sam smiled and Frodo felt his hands settle on his hips and then slide over his ass, guiding his movements. </p><p><em>Sam’s using my body to please himself</em>, Frodo thought, delighted and aroused by the thought. </p><p>“Is that good?” Frodo cooed.</p><p>“Mmhm,” Sam quivered. Frodo kissed him as he let Sam continue to guide him as he ground against his cock. </p><p>“Ah. Aa,” Frodo breathed as he shifted his weight so that there was pressure against his own cock. “Mm-pf.” Sam blinked and rolled them together onto their sides. Frodo gasped, wanting that pressure again, but Sam brought them back into that tight clasp. </p><p>“There,” Sam said warmly. “Better?” Frodo chuckled low and grasped Sam tightly before kissing him. It was his turn now to rut against Sam, and feel that warm glorious pressure. At last Sam reached down and unlaced his breeches and Frodo did the same. </p><p>It should have felt new and strange and at least a little naughty to have their cocks out as they kissed and pressed against one another, but it didn’t. They were safe, even out in the Wild, and they were in a sturdy tent and surrounded by lovely soft blankets that felt like a cocoon of protection. And they were with each other.</p><p>And Sam’s cock felt so good in his hand.</p><p>Sam fell against him, gasping in pleasure. They rubbed each other and kissed, both caught in this beautiful heat, until Sam cried out and with a jerk of his hips, he came. Frodo caught his breath and thrust himself into the tight clasp of Sam’s hand, panting, until he quivered and jolted, coming as well. He bit Sam’s shoulder.</p><p>They panted in the stillness and after a few moments, cleaned themselves. They’d managed to keep their seed on one another.</p><p>“We’re easier to clean than the blankets after all,” Frodo chuckled softly. Sam laughed warmly as he finished tidying up. He lay down and pulled Frodo into his arms.</p><p>“Frodo,” Sam breathed out a sigh, “I’m so glad.”</p><p>“Me too,” Frodo said quietly and leaned in to lay a kiss to Sam’s lips. Sam kissed back weakly. Frodo smiled. The dear sight of Sam’s face, sleepy and dazed and happy, smote his heart. “I love you so, my dear.”</p><p>“Love you,” Sam murmured dreamily. They curled together in the warmth of their blankets. Heavy peaceful sleepiness fell on them both and soon they drifted into sleep. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Shared Joy; Shared Worry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is rated Explicit</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merry sat in Faramir’s lap, twisting and rolling his hips, arching his back in ways that did not hurt his side, so that he rubbed against the warm bulge between the Man’s legs. Faramir was flushed and pretty from the teasing. Éowyn sat beside them watching with the light of arousal in her eyes. At last she leaned forward and caught her husband's face in her hands and turned his head, kissing him. Faramir moaned. Éowyn drew back smiling in satisfaction. Merry watched them feeling his cock harden.</p><p>“Look at how pleased Merry is,” Éowyn whispered in Faramir’s ear. “He knows how good he’s making you feel.”</p><p>“It’s lovely,” Faramir whispered.</p><p>“Men really don’t do this kind of thing?” Merry asked softy. </p><p>“It’s not something I’ve seen,” Faramir said, “but I’ve spent so much of my time in towers and in the Wild. But even if it is done,” Faramir panted softly, “there is an <em>art </em>to what you are treating me to- an art that could not be bested in the Kingdoms of Men.”</p><p>“What a flatterer you are Prince Faramir,” Merry laughed gently, glancing at Éowyn. “Is he always like this when he gets his cock rubbed?”</p><p>“He has a sweet tongue either way,” Éowyn murmured with heat in her voice. She smiled at her husband, then turned to Merry, smiling at him as well. “As do you, dear Merry.”</p><p>“Ah. Let me demonstrate that before you say so,” Merry said. Éowyn’s eyes sparkled and she leaned in, kissing him firmly. Merry kissed back, suddenly taken by the feeling of both of their bodies pressing against him. They were both so big and warm and strong and…</p><p>Merry moaned and felt his cock harden.</p><p>Éowyn smiled and drew back, standing and walked into the back room. Merry watched her go.</p><p>“She’ll be back,” Faramir whispered. </p><p>“What…” Merry blinked. He was hot and a little dazed. Faramir chuckled low and warm. His hand came around and settled between Merry’s legs.</p><p>“She’s going to treat us,” Faramir said softly. “She’s got a beautiful… implement.”</p><p>Merry drew in a breath. He’d joked about Éowyn pegging him- they’d talked about pegging during their ride together and he knew she liked it- but he hadn’t dared to hope that she had such a tool with her. They were far from home after all.</p><p>Éowyn came out from behind the curtain and strode to them, her golden embroidered robes hanging open from her shoulders. Merry let his eyes trace down the gap of naked skin, down between her breasts and over her soft stomach, where her hands clasped the fabric together. Behind him, Merry could feel Faramir’s warm breath. He was just as enthralled.</p><p>Slowly, Éowyn opened her robe, allowing the fabric to fall around her. Between her legs was a kind of harness made from soft leather, holding a rose colored cock. Merry had seen many gorgeously crafted cocks but he’d never beheld one as lovely as this. It was crystalline and seemed to change hues in the light- deep oranges of sunset, to dusky soft pink petals, to warm golden reds. And it was hobbit sized.</p><p>“Oh,” Merry sighed, overcome with the need to take such a beautiful thing within himself. Just gazing at it made him crave it. </p><p>Éowyn approached him, and gently placed her hand on his head.</p><p>“Will you greet my cock?” she asked him softly.</p><p>“Yes, my lady,” Merry breathed, and leaned forward, kissing it. Éowyn murmured in pleasure and so Merry did it again, taking it into his mouth this time.</p><p> “Polite hobbit,” she purred.  “Shall I fuck you?” Merry drew back, quivering. </p><p>“Please,” he breathed. Éowyn smiled and bent, drawing down as she smoothed a hand over Merry’s curls. She peered at him, her eyes soft. She leaned in and kissed him. </p><p>“Sweet Merry,” Éowyn murmured, “Lie down, my dear.” Merry looked up at her, feeling a delicious shiver begin. He breathed out, heart beating quickly in anticipation and joy. He lay down.</p><p>Éowyn took him gently, using plenty of warm oil to ease the cock. He would have liked to have been taken on his back so that he could gaze up at her, which was his preferred position, but his side was aching. Instead, he was draped over a few thick soft pillows, braced and held securely by both Éowyn and Faramir. </p><p>The eroticism of being made love to by such large powerful partners who showed such care with him drove Merry’s excitement to a higher pitch. He wasn’t going to last long. </p><p>Faramir reached down and took his cock in hand, circling it firmly with his strong hand. Merry gasped and thrust.</p><p>“That’s it,” Éowyn breathed, “That’s it sweet hobbit. Give in to it.”</p><p>Merry cried and came. They held him as he hit his peak and gasped and clutched them, as he spiraled down. Afterwards  they kissed him and Eowyn put her arms around him as Merry tidied himself.</p><p>“Are you alright?” she asked fondly.</p><p>“I am very well, thank you,” Merry chuckled, his voice softened by post-orgasmic bliss still buzzing through his body. </p><p>After a rest, Éowyn changed her dildo to a larger one and fixed her husband with a lustful smile. She coupled him while he lay face up and Merry snuggled up to his side, watching.</p><p>Faramir’s cock was up against his belly, a gorgeous deep red and leaking. Merry eyed it, struck with a desire to try and suck on it, but it was too large for comfort and besides, he would have had to do more twisting than his side would allow. Instead he reached down and lay a hand to Faramir’s hip, gazing at him questioningly.</p><p>“Ah! Please,” Faramir panted, and so Merry took him in hand. </p><p>Faramir peaked soon after and once more they rested in a warm huddle. Merry was very glad for this, as he hadn’t been under the impression that Big People piled up like that. It occurred to him that they were probably doing it to make him feel comfortable. He sighed, happily. </p><p>“My lady,” Merry said softly. Éowyn blinked at him, her face full of contentment. “May I show you the sweetness of my tongue now?” She smiled and nodded. Merry moved over and after she unfastened her straps, he knelt between her legs. Éowyn sighed as he pressed small kisses to her thighs and up to the warm furred place between her legs. </p><p>Faramir moved up and began kissing her neck, his hands moving down to caress her breasts. Éowyn closed her eyes in bliss. </p><p>They stayed at her side, guiding her through pleasure for a long time, until Éowyn bid Merry to use his fingers to enter her as he kissed and lapped at her clit. She grasped Faramir a little roughly and kissed him as she came. Though she was rough with Faramir, she did not clamp her legs around Merry, or otherwise press against him. She came down and her muscles contracted around his fingers, and Merry gazed her her, dazed and deeply touched by her thoughtfulness even in such a moment. </p><p> As she eased, Merry climbed up to join them. Faramir and Éowyn reached for him and brought to lay close with them. Merry closed his eyes, feeling their warmth seeping into his body, blotting out the cold. </p><p>“You know,” Faramir said softly as he reached over to stroke Merry’s back. “A few years ago, I thought halflings were a myth. And now I’ve made love to one.”</p><p>“Funny old world,” Merry said dreamily. Éowyn laughed and lay a kiss to his head.</p><p>§</p><p>The sun was high in the morning sky the next day when they rode into Rivendell. Frodo leaned back a little into Sam and Sam put a hand on his shoulder. </p><p>“Welcome back!”</p><p>They turned with a start at the familiar and yet unexpected voices. Legolas and Gilmi had appeared at the top of the stairs leading down into the courtyard.</p><p>“Hello there!” Frodo cried. He turned back and saw Sam gaping but he was smiling, overjoyed. Frodo slid down and met them at the foot of the steps.</p><p>“What brings you?” Sam asked his voice delighted, hurrying up behind him.</p><p>“Ill rumor of Riders,” Gimli said, “But now we find we’re too late.” He bowed to Frodo. “Apologies, my friends.”</p><p>“Not at all,” Frodo smiled, “But I’m very touched that you came to our aid. Have you had the tale of it all?”</p><p>“We have spent the morning with Merry and Pippin and we’ve heard most of it I think,” Legolas said. He eyed them. “You’re both just back from a long ride, we won’t keep you on your feet any longer. Come, let us help you unpack and tend to your pony.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s very kind,” Frodo said.</p><p>“Sam,” Gimli said, “come and tell me about this new pony. And what of Bill?”</p><p>“Oh! Well,” Sam brightened, back into a subject he could talk about. Frodo silently blessed Gimli’s thoughtfulness. Together they unpacked the pony as Sam’s happy voice rose around them. </p><p>§</p><p> Frodo, Sam and Gandalf were seated in Bilbo’s little kitchen, having after lunch tea. It was supposed to have been a relaxing catch up after their trip, but Bilbo wasn’t having it. He’d found out Galadriel was back in Rivendell, had apparently demanded to know why, and was told it was because of Frodo but nothing more. And now he wanted answers. </p><p>“You did what?” Bilbo growled. Frodo blinked at him. He’d been telling Bilbo about his request for Sam to accompany him across the Sea, and his unsuccessful interview with Galadriel. It had been news to Sam as well and he’d blushed and stammered a little, until Frodo slipped his hand into Sam’s. </p><p>“I only said that I wouldn’t go,” he said, gazing at Sam. “Not unless Sam can come. We go together.”</p><p>“Really, Frodo!” Bilbo said crabbily, ignoring the romance of it all, “I would have thought such dramatics beneath you.” Frodo turned and stared at him. </p><p><em>This from Bilbo Baggins, </em>he thought. </p><p>Sam hid a snort in his tea and Bilbo sent him a suspicious look, but Sam gazed back innocently. </p><p>“You demanded and threw a tantrum,” Bilbo continued turning back to Frodo, “You might as well have crossed your arms and stamped your foot and said you wouldn’t go to bed like a good boy.”</p><p>“I did not!” Frodo said, sitting up. Bilbo scoffed and turned to Gandalf.</p><p>“That’s how the Lady Galadriel took it, didn’t she?” he asked. Gandalf, who had been staying out of this and drinking his tea paused, looking very uncomfortable. Frodo gasped.</p><p>“Did she?”</p><p>“Frodo, you must understand that to her, everyone is a child and-”</p><p>“She thought I was throwing a tantrum!”</p><p>“Well,” Gandalf winced.</p><p>“But you said I must bring this to her,” Frodo said, unhappily.</p><p>“I advised you poorly,” Gandalf admitted.  </p><p>“Not at all,” Bilbo said. “You didn’t know that Frodo would be an ass.” Frodo turned on him. “Well I’m sorry darling, but you have to be more sensitive around Elves.”</p><p>“Remind me,” Frodo said, eyeing Bilbo, “what was that song you sang in Elrond’s own House? The Song of Eärendil wasn’t it?”</p><p>Gandalf let out a choked laugh. Bilbo squinted at him. </p><p>“Please,” Sam said quietly. They all went silent. Sam looked up at them. “Please, I don’t want no one upset. Maybe I ought to go speak with the Lady?”</p><p>“No, it’s my fault,” Frodo said, “I need to go and apologize.”</p><p>“She doesn’t care about that,” Bilbo laughed. Frodo frowned.</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“Gandalf! You tell him. She doesn’t care about that.”</p><p>“Well, no. She doesn’t,” Gandalf said. </p><p>“You’ll just annoy her,” Bilbo said. Frodo squinted at him.</p><p>“How do you know-”</p><p>“How do you think?” Bilbo grinned.</p><p>“But, Sam,” Gandalf said, ignoring Frodo and Bilbo, “you do have an idea there. I don’t think you need to try and explain things to her. She understands it all perfectly. But you might go and see her.”</p><p>“And say what?” Sam asked doubtfully.</p><p>“You don’t have to say anything,” Gandalf said. “Let her speak.”</p><p>Sam looked relieved by this. Frodo smiled at him.</p><p>“I think it’s a good idea. Everyone likes Sam,” he said. “So charming and sweet. And I think she already likes you.” Sam blinked.</p><p>“Because I gave her sausage?” </p><p>Frodo didn’t know what to say, so he nodded. Sam brightened.</p><p>“Right then,” he said, confidence in his voice. </p><p>§</p><p>That evening there was a small party for Legolas and Gimli. They spent much of the evening telling tales of their travels and listening to the tales of their friends. There was very good food and drink and music.</p><p>Though Frodo enjoyed it, he felt sleepy and tired after his trip. And too, he was worried about Sam’s meeting with Galadriel. He wanted to curl up with Sam and hold him and reflect on what they’d shared the previous night. </p><p>Oh, later, he told himself, for Sam was still bright eyed and listening in awe to their friend’s stories. Frodo smiled and leaned over.</p><p>“I think I must go to bed. I’m so sleepy,” he said. Sam smiled.</p><p>“Are you alright going by yourself?” he whispered.</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo said.</p><p>“Ah, well then I’ll see you in a bit. I don’t expect I’ll be out much later.”</p><p>“Good night for now, then,” Frodo said and kissed him lightly. He rose and slipped out, preferring to make a quiet exit. His friends knew his ways, respected them. There were no calls of ‘goodnight’ or ‘one more round’ behind him. </p><p>He came out into a darkened hallway and was walking along when he came across Legolas, leaning against a railing, looking out across the valley. He turned and nodded a greeting to Frodo. Frodo stilled.</p><p>He was sleepy, but he came a little more awake. It was somewhat unexpected to find Legolas alone, without Gimli, during a party being thrown in his honor.</p><p>“Are you alright, my friend?” Frodo asked. Legolas smiled.</p><p>“I am,” he said. “Only pondering.”</p><p>“Oh. I’ll leave you to it,” Frodo said.</p><p>“You needn’t leave if you don’t wish to,” Legolas said quietly, “I am not seeking solitude. But neither do I want to hold you from your destination.” </p><p>“Oh,” Frodo paused. He stepped to the railing. “I can ponder with you for a short while.” He felt more awake, less overwhelmed here. </p><p>“I am pondering what to do if one did not wish to leave a loved one behind, and yet knows that he must make a journey across the Sea. At least, someday,” Legolas said. Frodo looked up at him. </p><p>“You’ve been talking to Bilbo,” he said before he could stop himself. Legolas blinked.</p><p>“No,” he said.</p><p>“I beg your pardon,” Frodo said and sank into silence. </p><p><em>Stars! He opens up about something very close to his heart and I make such a blunder! He's talking about himself and Gimli of course! </em>He winced.</p><p>“I think,” he said softly, “that worry is something we have in common.”</p><p>Legolas turned to him. </p><p>“What?” he gasped, “Are you saying they won’t let Sam go with you to the Blessed Lands?” His voice was sharp and had lost all of it’s contemplative nature. </p><p>“It’s not certain,” Frodo said. </p><p>“That’s intolerable,” Legolas hissed. Frodo blinked and looked up at him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Legolas talk like this. “Can’t you just take him? What are they going to do?”</p><p>“Not let him on the boat?”</p><p>“You could build your own.”</p><p>“Mm,” Frodo frowned. </p><p>“Well maybe not,” Legolas pondered. “And you aren’t an elf so you couldn’t sail there.” </p><p>Frodo nodded, silent.</p><p>“Oh!”</p><p>Frodo paused at the note of epiphany in Legolas’ voice. </p><p>“Oh,” Legolas said again, his voice thoughtful, “But I’m an Elf!” He brightened. Frodo stared up at him. Legolas took another moment before leaning down. “Frodo! You have helped me immeasurably tonight. I do not know how to thank you. Oh. No. Yes I do! Listen Frodo, if they tell you you can’t bring Sam….. Tell me.”</p><p>“Ah. Yes? And…?”</p><p>“Just. <em>Tell me</em>.” </p><p>They stared at one another. </p><p>“I will,” Frodo said. Legolas grinned. </p><p>“Do you want to shake hands?”</p><p>“What?” Frodo asked, “I suppose.”</p><p>“I’m still learning when to do it,” Legolas admires with a grin, “but I think this is a time when we should shake hands.” </p><p>Frodo laughed, his heart feeling much lighter. He put his hand out.</p><p>“You can shake my hand anytime my dear friend.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Little <a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/qqvm7rqf73pshp5/Illustration67-sm.jpg?dl=0">nsfw Eowyn drawing</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. The House in the Mountains</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So she had two?” Frodo asked wide-eyed. Merry nodded.</p><p>“Naturally,” he said.</p><p>“And one was sized to suit you?”</p><p>“She asked the Elves to make it,” Merry said. </p><p>“And they did?”</p><p>“Apparently.”</p><p>“Huh,” Frodo murmured thoughtfully. They were seated in Frodo’s room with half his wardrobe laid out on the bed. Merry was helping him pack his warmest things.</p><p>“What else do you need?” Merry asked, eyeing the bag on the bed. “They’ll have bedding and the rest up there?” </p><p>“Yes,” Frodo nodded.</p><p>“Seems like you just left and now you’re off once more. Are you going to settle down after this?” Merry asked absently as he rolled up one of Frodo’s shirts and fit it inside the bag.</p><p>“I hope to,” Frodo said. “It’s getting properly winter now, even here. I saw flakes this morning. And anyway, it’s only for a few days.”</p><p>“Well yes, but you’ll be up on those mountain peaks. I hope you aren’t freezing up there. And all that snow!”</p><p>“Not the best time of year, I suppose. But I feel like it’s important,” Frodo said quietly, gazing down. Merry smiled at him. </p><p>“Important hm?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>§</p><p>By that afternoon, Frodo and Sam were seated in a covered carriage, escorted by half a dozen Elves as well as Gandalf. Sam peered out at the passing craggy landscape. He was wrapped in furs but even so he was shivering with excitement.</p><p>“This is where Mr. Bilbo and the Dwarves passed isn’t it?” he asked.</p><p>“I think so,” Frodo smiled, “there’s a turn off further up where we’ll take the left path and they would have taken the right.”</p><p>“It’s just. When we tried crossing the Misty Mountains, it wasn’t nothing like this. I feel like I’m going to see the little goblin cave any minute.”</p><p>“And that’s a good thing?” Frodo asked. His voice was curious but also amused. Sam turned back and nodded.</p><p>“It’s like being back in that familiar tale. I know it must have been hard for him and all, but for me, Mr. Bilbo’s tale was always something warm and fond in my heart.”</p><p>“I suppose that’s the same for me,” Frodo said softly. Sam shivered again and pulled the furs tighter around his shoulders so that they brushed against his cheek.</p><p>“I suppose we’ll have plenty of time for stories,” he said softly.</p><p>“I hope so,” Frodo agreed. “It will be very quiet and peaceful up there.”</p><p>“It was very nice of Mr. Elrond to let us use his mountain house.”</p><p>“Yes. He’s so kind,” Frodo nodded.</p><p>“I hope it’s homey. And warm. And that there’s wood and all,” Sam murmured. </p><p>“It is homey and very beautiful.”</p><p>“You been?”</p><p>“Last spring,” Frodo said quietly. “I hope the view is as nice and that it’s not too cold. Elves do go up there in the winter so there are provisions and Gandalf said a party went up yesterday to take everything we would need.”</p><p>“Oh,” Sam felt grateful for that care, but even so, the idea of being up in a very high place in the mists of snow drifts higher than a smial and isolated felt a little frightening. Still, Frodo had seemed shyly eager to bring him there. And the idea of spending entire days alone with Frodo in a warm little haven among the snow was irresistible. </p><p>“There’s not goblins in the mountains are there?” he asked. </p><p>“The Elves have found their halls abandoned, so I think not. And even in the days when there were goblins in the Misty Mountains, Elrond said they never ventured to the place we are going.”</p><p>“Why’s that?”</p><p>“It’s a sacred place,” Frodo murmured. “the magic of the Elves is strong around it. And it is defended.” He cast a look over to Sam. “There are pillars of stone that we shall pass between. You’ll feel the magic, I’m afraid. The stones will prevent any enemies from entering.”</p><p>“Trust the Elves then,” Sam said, but he was still pondering Frodo’s words. They’d raised more questions in his mind but he could read Frodo well enough to tell that he was feeling shy and unready to share more. Sam could wait then. There was obviously something that Frodo was bringing him up here for and he could wait. </p><p>They arrived in the early afternoon, passing beneath the massive granite pillars ringing the site. Sam stared at them, amazed at their scale. He felt a shiver run down his spine and drew in a breath. He and Frodo shared a look. </p><p>“Oh! I don’t much care for that!” he said.</p><p>“No, me either,” Frodo laughed. “But at least it’s quick.”</p><p>“And at least it means we’re safe here,” Sam added. He leaned out of the side of the cart and gazed at the stone structure perched on the outcrop before them. It was a round building with sturdy wood doors and glass windows set into deep stone window portals. It was sheltered by a cliffside rising from the left, and Sam was amazed to see stone steps going into tunnels inside this stone wall. His eyes traveled up it and he gasped. There was a tower rising up above the cliff face. </p><p>“It’s a lookout,” Frodo said quietly in his ear. Sam felt the warmth of Frodo’s embrace as his arms clasped him. “Elrond said that from that tower you can see into both the eastern and western lands. He said that on clear days you can even see the Lonely Mountain.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>The carriage halted before the small stone house and with help, their belongings were quickly unloaded from the cart. Gandalf strode out to the House and to the platform around the rear, observing the place. Sam watched him curiously. Gandalf turned and walked back, smiling.</p><p>“Will it do, Sam?” he asked.</p><p>“Yes, sir. It’s a fine place.”</p><p>“Even if it is very high up and very cold?”</p><p>“I saw a stack of dry wood under the overhang,” Sam said, “and as for it being very high up, well, it might not suit most hobbits, but I’ll allow it’s very beautiful.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“And I think we’re going to have a very nice time here. Thank you again for arranging it all.”</p><p>“Not at all.”</p><p>“Gandalf!” Frodo called, coming out of the House, “there’s fireworks in here!”</p><p>“Yes set them off if you get into trouble and need help,” Gandalf said. “It’s too cold up here for you to find any insects to send a message to me.” Frodo looked disappointed.</p><p>“Oh. I wanted to set them off.”</p><p>“Don’t.”</p><p>“Very well,” Frodo said and drifted to Sam’s side. “Do you like it?”</p><p>“I do. It’s very beautiful. I’m looking forward to getting a fire started.”</p><p>“I just started one,” Frodo grinned. </p><p>“Did you now, Mr. Baggins?” Sam teased and put an arm around his back, kissing his ear. </p><p>Gandalf and the Elves bid them goodbye a short while later, promising to return within three days time. Sam let Frodo lead him inside as he watched the carriage and Elvish riders retreat back the way they’d come. </p><p>§</p><p>Frodo spent most of the afternoon showing Sam around. The House did have ceilings that seemed to tower up a bit from a hobbit’s perspective, but the rest of it was very cozy and homely. There were two fireplaces, one in the sitting area and one in the bed chamber. There was a small kitchen and to Sam’s delight they found a well stocked pantry and a note about more cold items being buried outside in the snow drift nearest the cliff. The sitting area had a long couch piled high with pillows and draped with thick knit blankets and furs. And there was a small stack of wood nearby to feed the fire as the night deepened so that they would not have to venture outside into the cold for more.</p><p>Outside, there was a long stone laid overlook walk that reminded Sam of being up on the parapets at Minas Tirith. Beyond the stone wall the cliffside must drop away, though Sam did not get close enough to the wall to see how steep the drop must be. Beyond the wall was a view down over the mountains, with Rivendell clearly visible to the northwest and beyond he could see rolling hills and the rivers they’d crossed and the low hump of Weathertop.</p><p>Frodo’s warm hand slipped into his and Sam turned. Frodo was wrapped in furs but his head was bare, so that as the snow fell, it was caught in his hair. Sam stepped close and pulled his hood up, gazing into his eyes. Frodo gazed back, enamoured. He leaned in and kissed Sam. </p><p>They stood together for a few moments, caught in the kiss, until Frodo drew back. </p><p>“Come, there is more I want to show you.”</p><p>They walked along the overlook until they came to a place where an overhang had been built over a large pool of water. Steam rose from the water and it’s depths were a soft blue. Sam knelt, fascinated and held his hand above the surface.</p><p>“Warm?” he asked. </p><p>“Yes. It’s quite warm, and not terrible deep either,” Frodo said. “I don’t really know how it works. But Elrond said it’s something to do with the earth.”</p><p>“It’s a wonder. Can we bathe in it?”</p><p>“Yes. Do you want to now?”</p><p>“No, I want to see what all you want to show me first,” Sam said, rising. Frodo nodded, going shy again, but he took Sam’s hand. </p><p>“Let’s walk to the end, there,” Frodo said, gesturing to the end of the overlook, where a set of steps rose to a platform above. They walked, hand in hand, approaching the steps, and Frodo led them up. There was nothing much on the platform, only a set of seats on the sides. To Sam it looked like a very nice place to have a drink and watch the sunset over the world below. </p><p>“This is where I was given magic.”</p><p>Sam drew in a startled breath and turned to Frodo. </p><p>“It was here? How...?” Sam asked. It has always felt like it was something he shouldn’t ask about. Too high for him to speak on. Frodo gazed out across the valley, looking thoughtful. “It’s alright,” Sam added, “if you don’t want to talk about it.”</p><p>“No that’s alright,” Frodo said quietly. “I’m just gathering my thoughts. I want to tell you. It’s why I brought you to this place. Just know that I’m not sure exactly what happened. I had visions and I don’t think a lot of it was real and there’s parts that I can’t remember very well. It was dream-like.” He paused and Sam waited. “After the sunset, I bathed, just there,” he said, faltering only a little and indicated the steaming pool, “and then I was given a robe and the most fragrant tea that I’ve ever drunk. I was brought up here and knelt just there,” he gestured to the space before them near the low stone wall. “I remember looking out at the stars,” he went on quieter, “and feeling something looking back. And I was very frightened.” He closed his eyes. “Something out there looked at me and into my heart and it burned.” Sam held his breath. “Then it all gets confused in my mind. I’ll recall snatches of it sometimes. And I’ve had dreams where I seem to see more of it than my waking mind can recall. The stars were moving, flowing like they were adrift in an infinite dark river, and along the line of clustered stars the sky parted and…. opened I think.” He paused. “I told you, I saw visions. I don’t know how to tell you what really happened.”</p><p>“That’s alright,” Sam murmured. “I’m more interested in what it all was to you than I am in knowing for certain what it all was.”</p><p>Frodo smiled and stepped close to Sam.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said. “That means a lot to me.” He said as he put an arm around Sam’s back and Sam did the same. “It wasn’t pleasant,” he went on. “I was so small and the light in the sky was so big and it flowed down to me. Touched me.” Frodo fell silent a moment, shuddering. Sam embraced him. </p><p>“It’s like,” Frodo breathed and squeezed his eyes shut, “the Ring stretched my soul to fit around some impossible nightmare, so that after it was destroyed I was left with a spirit that was misshapen around emptiness, spread too thin, and broken and burned in places. And now this thing from the stars, it was filling up that empty space left by the Ring and I felt myself panicking. It was like my soul was once more being burned and shaped. But instead the power drew the stretched pieces together, like it was stitching a wound.” Frodo fell silent. “The burning grew less intense, but I could feel it there, smoldering still inside me. Then everything felt better. Cleaner, warmer, and the world came to me clear. But I was very tired. Gandalf told me later I slept for nearly two days.” He smiled. “I was allowed to stay up here that whole time, recovering, and he stayed with me, looking after me.” Frodo slipped into silence once more and Sam listened to the snow fall around them. </p><p>“I haven’t recovered fully of course,” Frodo said softly. “I don’t know if I ever will. But this power has given me a chance. It made an immediate difference so that I could suddenly see a life stretching out before me.” He tucked his cheek against Sam’s shoulder for a moment, before lifting his face to gaze at him. His eyes were so full of emotion.</p><p>“I wanted to bring you up here because this place was at the beginning of my new life. It’s the place where I began to love myself again.”</p><p>Sam stroked his cheek and leaned in to touch his forehead to Frodo’s. Frodo breathed out and nuzzled back. Sam was speechless for a moment, unsure of what to say. He closed his eyes, knowing his words couldn’t express all that he was feeling, but he trusted that Frodo would understand.</p><p>“Thank you for bringing me here,” he said and nuzzled him firmly. They stood together for a long time without speaking, their ears filled with the sounds of wind and snow.</p>
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<a name="section0040"><h2>40. A Question Among the Stars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That evening, Frodo and Sam ate together in the warm little stone house, seated before a roaring fire. They watched the snow fall from the arched window as the sun sank behind the horizon. </p><p>They were eating baked salmon- a new favorite for the hobbits, who had never encountered this fish until they visited Rivendell. The Elves had thoughtfully brought several fillets and buried them in the snow bank to keep them fresh during their visit. Sam had baked them each a fillet seasoned with lemon juice, oil and a bit of his salt. Frodo curled his toes in pleasure as he ate.  </p><p>After dinner they moved to the sitting area, closer to the fire and Sam buried himself under a blanket, sticking his toes out to warm. Frodo paused as he rooted through his bag looking for the book he’d packed. His hand closed around an unexpected shape.</p><p>“Oh!” Frodo stood up and drew out a thick bottomed bottle of wine. He held it up and opened the paper card tied to it. “With love, Merry and Pippin,” he read. “That was nice of them. Shall we try it?”</p><p>“It would be rude not to,” Sam said and rose to find a corkscrew.  </p><p>They settled in together, each with a glass of rich dark wine. Sam found his blanket once more and shared it with Frodo. Frodo drew it around his shoulders, balancing his book as he found a comfortable spot.</p><p>“What have you brought?” Sam asked curiously, looking down at the book. </p><p>“It’s from Elrond’s library. Sindarin ballads.” He smiled, gazing into Sam’s eyes. “You mentioned once that you like it when I read Sindarin to you.” Sam caught his breath, his cheeks pinking in pleasure.</p><p>“Yes,” he said.</p><p>“Shall I read?”</p><p>“Oh please,” Sam said and curled into Frodo’s side.</p><p>§</p><p>As the night grew older they retreated to the bedchamber and climbed in under the blankets. The fire crackled softly and lit the room in a gentle dim glow. Frodo lay in bed and listened to the fire and gazed out the window, watching the snow drift silently and relentlessly down. He was warm and had a nice meal and a glass of wine inside him and his body hummed with ease and pleasure. He turned and found Sam laying on his side, watching him. </p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“You’re very beautiful, you know,” Sam said quietly. Frodo turned toward him, feeling himself smiling shyly.</p><p>“Am I?” he asked. Sam moved closer, putting his arm around Frodo and burying his hand in his hair.</p><p>“You are.”  </p><p>“You are as well,” Frodo said, kissing him lightly, “you’ve taken my breath quite a few times you know.”</p><p>“When was that?” Sam asked absenly as he kissed Frodo’s cheek and jaw and then moved down to his neck. Frodo’s breathing quickened, but he managed to respond.</p><p>“Back in Michel Delving,” he sighed through Sam’s kisses. “The mornings you would go out to the back of the house and… take your shirt off while you work on your window boxes and containers… I. I was always bringing you tea and lingering around on the back porch.”</p><p>“And here I just thought you liked my company.”</p><p>Frodo laughed.</p><p>“I adore your company, of course,” he stroked Sam’s cheek. “But my heart would quicken when I saw such beauty as you out there, sunlight and joy making you radiant.”</p><p>“Fancy words, Mr. Baggins,” Sam murmured as they pressed closer and Frodo twined their feet together. “For a bit of ordinary work on our quiet mornings.”</p><p>“I love our quiet mornings.”</p><p>“And the nights?” Sam moved back up to kiss his mouth. Frodo deepened the kiss and wrapped an arm around his back. </p><p>“Ah, the nights,” Frodo whispered against his lips, fast losing track of the conversation. “In the nights… Sam. I would wish for you.” Sam drew back and blinked at him.</p><p>“Would you?” he asked and touched Frodo’s ear gently tracing the tip. Frodo gazed at him. </p><p>“I missed you. I would think about those nights in Minas Tirith when we slept close. I missed it very much some nights.”</p><p>“Ah,” Sam breathed, “and me as well. Especially those nights I’d have foul dreams.”</p><p>“We were each wishing for the same thing,” Frodo smiled but it hurt to think of Sam curled up alone, just woken from a quest nightmare.</p><p>“I’ve been sleeping better since we started sharing,” Sam admitted shyly. He smiled. “I want to always be there if you are wishing for me.”</p><p>“And I also want to be there for you,” Frodo leaned in to nuzzle him, then he kissed him and gathered Sam close. They clasped one another and fell into the kiss, pressing their bodies close.   </p><p>Sam drew back, suddenly stricken. </p><p>“Is it alright to couple here? It’s not disrespectful is it?”</p><p>Frodo blinked in the dim light and smiled. </p><p>“I asked Elrond that very question.”</p><p>“You did?” Sam put a hand over his mouth. “You’re very brave.”</p><p>“Well,” Frodo chuckled shyly. “I thought we might, so…. But he said we could not lower this place. And that if we chose to make love here, then it would only make this place more sacred in their eyes.”</p><p>“We matter like that?”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo paused, adding, “they honor our love as much as they honor each of us.”</p><p>“Oh,” Sam frowned, “Well now I feel a bit nervous.”</p><p>Frodo laughed and gathered Sam into his arms. </p><p>“You needn’t,” he whispered. “It’s just you and me here.”</p><p>“Hm,” Sam considered this as Frodo rubbed his back. “Kiss me?”</p><p>“Will that ease you?” Frodo whispered and pressed a kiss to his lips. </p><p>“Mmmhm,” Sam sighed as Frodo kissed him again. Sam’s mouth was warm and sweet.  </p><p>§</p><p>In the late afternoon of the next day, Frodo took Sam up into the tower and they climbed to the top. At the highest level were four balconies cut out so that one could gaze in each direction. Sam stepped to the south view and peered out. Below them on the ridge above their little house passed a snow fed stream which fell down the cliffside in long frozen spikes. Sam gazed at it. It very well might be the head of the Bruinen. </p><p>“Oh Sam,” Frodo called, his voice hushed in awe, “come here.” Sam turned away and went to him at the east view. Frodo stepped behind him and put his arms on Sam’s shoulders. </p><p>“Look there,” he breathed, pointing to the far horizon. “Just above that little bump of green, do you see it?”</p><p>Sam let his eyes move to the green mound and then to the line of the horizon. There was a small raised peak. Sam considered it, then went very still.</p><p>“The Lonely Mountain?” he gasped. </p><p>“I think so,” Frodo said and clung tight to him. They gazed at it in silence for a moment.</p><p>“I never dreamed I’d see it,” Sam whispered, “Not even after we did all of our traveling. It just always seemed so far away.”</p><p>“Someday, I wonder,” Frodo said softly, his arms moving down to pat Sam’s back before he stepped away, moving closer to the window. “Perhaps we will visit.” </p><p>“You want to?” Sam asked. Frodo nodded. “Just to see it?”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo paused, “and I want to see King Thorin’s tomb. Pay my respects. Wonder about what might have been.”</p><p>“Had he ruled?”</p><p>“No,” Frodo turned. “Bilbo was in love with him.” Sam gasped. “And I think- at least from the few bare scraps I could get from Bilbo- Thorin was in love with him as well.”</p><p>“I didn’t know,” Sam said. Frodo smiled wanly.</p><p>“Bilbo never put it in the book of course. I think it broke his poor heart. He could only ever make jokes and tell wild stories.” He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. “He tried to tell me some of it. In the spirit of giving me the true tale. But he couldn’t bring himself to say very much. I never pressed. It seemed to hurt him, even after all these years.”</p><p>“Oh Mr. Bilbo,” Sam murmured, stepping to the window, gazing at the Lonely Mountain. </p><p><em>What might have been, </em>Sam pondered,<em> Frodo would have had King Thorin as a guardian as well then</em>.</p><p>The thought made him ache a little. </p><p>§</p><p>“How would you feel about a short night walk?” Frodo asked that evening after dinner. Sam looked surprised.</p><p>“In the snow?”</p><p>“Along the walk. It goes for a ways in the opposite direction from where we went yesterday. There’s supposed to be a lovely bridge that spans a frozen river.”</p><p>“Well, we can try it. My only experience with snowy night walking was when we tried the Misty Mountains and near froze.”</p><p>“I won’t let you freeze,” Frodo promised.</p><p>They put on thick coats and fur lined cloaks and took turns wrapping one another’s toes in sturdy cloth. Frodo doubted they’d be out long enough to cause toe nip, but it was really more comfortable to have their toes wrapped up against the biting cold at night. And better safe than sorry, he supposed.</p><p>They set off, taking the path around the cliff, coming to the edge of the drop-off. Frodo thought it was very beautiful- empty soft blackness as snow fell gently around them, the sky ablaze with moonlight and starlight that made the snow around them glow. </p><p>The path rose, climbing gradually. Though it wasn’t a very steep rise, Frodo found that it took some work to make his way up. Sam too valiantly strove on with him, until they reached the peak of the bridge. They paused, their breath puffing out in front of them. Frodo stepped to the edge and peered between the columns of the rail. It was a dizzying height. The land below must have dropped away beneath them. The river below was a long white plain.</p><p>“When I saw it from up in the tower,” Sam whispered at his side, “I could see where it fell over the cliff, only it’s frozen so it can’t make it’s way down. It just ends in spikes. It’s a wonder,” he said and stepped back, shuddering. Frodo stepped back as well.</p><p>“Too high?” he asked. Sam laughed.</p><p>“It’s alright. As long as you’re up here with me,” he said. “I know, I’ve been a few places a little more dangerous, and this ought not scare me.”</p><p>“You’re allowed to be scared,” Frodo said gently. “Come, we’ll go down, somewhere a little closer to solid ground.”</p><p>“No, it’s alright. I want to enjoy this view after all the work of climbing up here. But, stay close? I like this place, it’s just very much a place of air and starlight.” </p><p>Frodo smiled and took his hand. </p><p>“Come here. Let’s walk in the middle,” he said. Sam nodded, his expression grateful.</p><p>“I’d never have thought of coming out here at night, but it’s so lovely,” Sam whispered. </p><p>“There are some benefits to spending your time with a Mad Baggins and following his fancies.”</p><p>“Benefits or no,” Sam smiled, “I’d gladly spend the rest of my life following your fancies.”</p><p>Frodo squeezed his hand. Sam’s words burned in his heart. </p><p>“I hope I don’t spoil our pretty walk with serious speech making, but I’m afraid I am feeling like making a speech,” Frodo laughed. “Tell me if I’m going on.”</p><p>“Why? I like hearing you talk.”</p><p>“Sam,” Frodo laughed again, closing his eyes. His heart was pounding.  </p><p>“Go on then,” Sam prompted. “I want to hear it.” Frodo opened his eyes and took a breath.</p><p>“I have known for a long time that I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Frodo said softly. He drew them to a halt and turned to Sam. The snow was falling around them, and starlight and snow light were both illuminating Sam. Sam stilled, and took Frodo’s hand with both of his. Frodo went on. “Saruman said that I would have a short life and that I was an ailing dying creature. I have fought against that fate, laid on me by evil.”</p><p>“And won,” Sam said fiercely, “like you always do.” Frodo laughed quietly.</p><p>“I don’t always win,” he said, “but I think I have in this case. I had help, and there is love in my heart. Love for the Shire, and love for myself and my friends, and love for you, my beloved.” Sam looked humbled and moved and he put an arm around Frodo’s shoulders and kissed his cheek.  </p><p>“I will love you for as long as I have a heart and soul,” Frodo said, stepping around to stand in front of Sam, taking both of his hands in his own. Sam gazed at him, tears brimming in his eyes. “I am strong enough to stay here, and strong enough to grasp the life that the evil tried to take from me. I want to make that life with you, Samwise Gamgee,” Frodo said, feeling himself tremble as he knelt before him, still holding his hands. “I would wed with you, if you will have me. Would you marry me, Sam?”</p><p>Sam gasped and the tears came hard now. He sank down to his knees as well, pulling Frodo into his arms. </p><p>“Oh! Yes! Frodo! Yes!” he gasped and held him tight. Frodo returned the tight embrace, feeling his own tears come. When Sam drew back, he was shaking like a leaf and tear stained, but bright and full of joy, looking happier than Frodo had ever seen him look. </p><p>“Yes a thousand times,” Sam said quieter, “It’s all I want in the whole world- to love you and share our lives, and build something together.”</p><p>“We’ve made a start, haven’t we?”</p><p>“That we have.”</p><p>Frodo leaned in and kissed him and Sam grasped him, pulling Frodo into his arms, kissing back with enthusiasm. They broke apart laughing.</p><p>“Ah! I can’t take this cold on my knees!” Sam cried and staggered up, pulling Frodo up as well. “Come on! Starlight and moonlight and magic is all well and good. But I want the fire and… and you.” He faltered, dazed and joyful. “You.” Frodo leaned in, hugging Sam tight. The snow was falling heavier now, blanketing their hair and coats.</p><p>“You have me, Sam.”</p>
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<a name="section0041"><h2>41. A Little More Warmth and Quiet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is rated explicit.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Up high in the mountains it was snowing. Frodo lifted his gaze up to the snow drifting down around them and lit for a moment at the edge of the pool, before melting away. He smiled and shifted in the warm water, his breath catching as Sam clasped him tighter. They were bare together in the water and pressed close together.</p><p>“I suppose,” Sam said as he kissed Frodo’s shoulder, “I really must stop calling you Mr. Frodo now, hm?”</p><p>“You call me what you like.”</p><p>“People will wonder.”</p><p>“Blast them. You call me what you like and I’ll fight anyone who comments.”</p><p>“Now, you're being unreasonable,” Sam snorted. Frodo scowled out at the snowy landscape.</p><p>“Just let them try it,” he growled, “And I’ll give them a bit of Baggins’ wrath. I don’t care who they are.”</p><p>“Heaven save them,” Sam nipped him.</p><p>“Mm! Sam,” Frodo gasped, shivering. </p><p>“I think,” Sam said after a time. “I’m going to call you, Frodo.”</p><p>“Anything you call me is lovely,” Frodo smiled at him. Sam grinned.</p><p>“Going to take some getting used to,” he mused. </p><p>“It’s not entirely new to you,” Frodo said, “whenever we’ve been tender… I seem to remember quite a few times even back on our journey when you called me Frodo.”</p><p>“It was private then,” Sam murmured. “Just me and you.”</p><p>“Me and you, hm?” Frodo caught him and kissed him. Sam wavered then, yielded to the kiss. When they drew back Sam swayed on his feet a little, and Frodo clasped him, until he was steady once more. Sam laughed and tucked himself close to Frodo’s side.</p><p>“Like I say, it will just take some getting used to. Like a lot of this,” he said. Frodo stilled, watching his breath puff out in front of him.</p><p>“There is a lot to get used to, isn’t there?” he murmured. “I didn’t want to rush this,” he let his eyes close, “but it felt like we’ve been loving and living together for so long. It felt right. At least, it did to me.” He winced and opened his eyes again, turning to Sam, “Have I rushed you?”</p><p>“Don’t be silly,” Sam said quietly. “You haven’t rushed me at all. We’ve grown to be a pair, haven’t we?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Sam put his arms around him and drew Frodo back into a kiss. </p><p>“Sit up on the side,” Frodo whispered to him among the kisses. Sam’s kisses had stirred heat between his legs. Sat drew back and peered at him.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“So that I can suck you.”</p><p>“Oh,” Sam paused.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“As warm as the front might be, it just seems like it would be awful cold for my ass.”</p><p>Frodo snorted.</p><p>“Well, I can’t breathe water, dear Sam,” he teased and stroked his thigh. Sam pushed into his hand. Frodo obligingly rubbed him and teased a little more. </p><p>“Mm, that’s nice,” Sam panted a little.</p><p>“Oh yes?” Frodo sighed, “but you’re right, I have been more focused on seeing to your front. I’ve neglected the back end of you.” Sam lifted his eyes and gazed at him. “Why don’t we go back to the house and I’ll see that your ass is kept warm?”</p><p>“As you like,” Sam laughed but couldn’t quite keep the breathless want out of his voice. They climbed up out of the pool and put towels around their shoulders, not taking time to dry themselves, for it was too cold. Instead, they went as quickly as they could to the house and slipped inside, pausing at the threshold to dry off a bit better. Frodo noted that Sam was very flushed and that his penis was erect now.</p><p>He moved to Sam, taking a fresh warm towel and put it around his shoulders, helping to dry his back. </p><p>“Did I get you excited?” he asked softly.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Frodo kissed the back of his neck and then rubbed him until he was dry.</p><p>“Go and sit before the fire. I’ll be there in a moment,” he said. </p><p>When he returned, Sam was seated on the fur draped sofa, pulled close to the fireplace. Frodo lay aside the towels and oil he’d brought from the bedroom and took a seat before Sam. Sam was breathing quick, his eyes wide.</p><p>“Alright?” Frodo whispered to him. Sam nodded. Frodo brushed a kiss against his cheek. “Lay on your side?” Sam made to lay down. “No, the other way,” Frodo whispered with a grin, “ass end to the fire, remember?” Sam snorted and obliged, moving down and lay facing Frodo. Frodo paused a moment, then followed him down, laying so that he faced Sam and could gaze into his eyes. Sam sighed and lay a hand on Frodo’s shoulder.</p><p>“This is always so nice,” he breathed, “I don’t know that there’s anything better than making love with you.” Frodo melted and kissed him. </p><p>They kissed and touched until both of them were breathing quickly. Frodo moved down and lay a steadying hand on Sam’s hip as he positioned himself between his legs. He bent and took Sam in his mouth.</p><p>He took his time pleasuring Sam. When he began to quiver and pant Frodo moved his hand around to stroke his bottom. He drew off his cock.</p><p>“Would you like me to touch here?” he asked.</p><p>“Yes,” Sam said. Frodo went for the oil bottle and slicked his fingers before bending once more to his task. He took Sam in his mouth again and felt his way to the soft warm skin of his backside. Gingerly, he slipped a finger against his pucker and rubbed. </p><p>Sam’s hands came down and stroked his shoulders and neck.</p><p>“Please, please,” Sam breathed. Frodo hummed softly to him and continued his gentle pressure until he was able to slip inside. He rubbed and bobbed until Sam was whimpering and shifting as he tried not to thrust. </p><p>When it grew to be too much for Sam he cried and came. Frodo slowed and stilled, letting Sam come down before easing away to tidy up. Afterward he tried to cuddle up with Sam, but Sam wasn’t having it.</p><p>“You just lay yourself down right here, Mr. Baggins,” Sam said, “I’ll be no kind of husband if I let <em>you </em>go on with a cold ass.”</p><p>Frodo wasn’t sure what to laugh about first - the fact that Sam was bossily teasing him or the fact that his ass was, in fact, cold.</p><p>“Oh, look after me then, Sam?” he said smiling. Sam’s eyes were very bright.</p><p>“Course,” he said.</p><p>§</p><p>On the morning before they left, Frodo and Sam sat down together before the fire as they had their second breakfast. </p><p>“I don’t have any experience in delivering news like this,” Frodo smiled. “I don’t know what to do. Do we gather them all together and tell them we're engaged? Or do it one by one? But then I’m afraid someone will feel unhappy that they were told last.”</p><p>“Ah well,” Sam smiled, “I think we can tell some folks all at once, but,” he paused. “I feel like there’s a few who ought to know right off. Mr. Bilbo, for one. And, well, I’d like to write my dad.”</p><p>“Yes, of course,” Frodo said. “I’m sorry we can’t tell him in person, but I suppose we shouldn’t wait?”</p><p>“No, I don’t want to wait,” Sam said and his cheeks flushed a little. “And I don’t think he’d want to get the news after the fact.”</p><p>“After the fact?” Frodo blinked. Sam glanced up.</p><p>“Oh. I was assuming we’d marry in Rivendell, but I suppose I ought not assume. When and where do you want?”</p><p>“I hadn’t thought that far,” Frodo winced. “Oh dear. Rivendell is convenient for many of our friends, especially since there are already so many here, but surely we should wed in the Shire? Your family couldn’t come otherwise.”</p><p>“And if we wed in the Shire, Mr. Bilbo shan’t come,” Sam said quietly. Frodo sighed. </p><p>“I want Bilbo there of course, but we’ll get told off very badly if we don’t wed in the Shire. I shudder to think what the Tooks and Brandybucks will say, never mind your father. I’ll never live it down,” Frodo said leaning back. Sam pondered this.</p><p>“Nothing for it. We’re going to have to have two weddings,” he said. Frodo sat up, eyes wide.</p><p>“But that’s so extravagant!”</p><p>“Yes, but we’re important, whether we like it or not,” Sam chuckled softly. “This isn’t going to just interest our friends and family.”</p><p>“Oh you’re right of course,” Frodo murmured. Sam glanced at him.</p><p>“Or we have a small wedding off in some quiet place, only a few folks. This is our wedding, we needn’t do what we don’t want to.”</p><p>“I know,” Frodo said quietly. “That is somewhat attractive, but,” he closed his eyes, “even so, I want to celebrate this. I want our many many friends to be able to celebrate our unity.” He glanced at Sam. “What about you? You don’t like to be the center of attention. What do you think?”</p><p>“It’s like you say, I might see some good sides to a small quiet wedding, but it wouldn’t seem right. Not right for this new world we’re in and not right for the places we’ve made in it.”</p><p>“So then, two weddings?” Frodo mused.</p><p>“A Rivendell wedding where the peoples of all the kingdoms can pay their respects to us, and then a happy sweet Shire wedding among our people,” Sam nodded. Frodo pondered this.</p><p>“When?” he asked shyly. Sam smiled.</p><p>“I should like to wed you right away but it’s not very practical. There’s the tradition of a spring wedding. We could have our Rivendell wedding in the earliest bit of Spring, and the Shire wedding later in the Spring after we’ve returned home?”</p><p>“Oh, I’d like that.”</p><p>“Well, that will be our plan, until we’re told it’s impossible,” Sam said. </p><p>“If we can get Merry and Pippin on our side then they’ll make it happen, whether it’s impossible or not.”</p><p>“Oh, then we’re alright,” Sam smiled, “Don’t have to ask them to know they’re on our side.”</p><p>Frodo laughed. It was true and he was very glad.</p>
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<a name="section0042"><h2>42. A Bit of News</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo and Sam rode down the mountain, watching the steep slopes pass behind them. The Elves brought them back in a snug carriage, and by early afternoon they were back in Rivendell. </p><p>Before too many people knew they were back, they went to Bilbo’s rooms hoping to find him awake. He was there, and he was just sitting down to tea.</p><p>“Did you two have a good time?” Bilbo asked as he brought Sam and Frodo into his kitchen. A tea tray was made and steam was coming from the pot. </p><p>“Yes, a very nice time,” Frodo said. He took the teapot and poured a cup, handing it to Bilbo. Bilbo thanked him and eyed Sam. </p><p>“Sam? It wasn’t too cold was it?” he asked.</p><p>“No sir,” Sam smiled, “there was plenty of wood and we stayed near the fire for much of the time.”</p><p>“You always did build such good fires,” Bilbo said, pleased. Sam smiled back.</p><p>“Mr. Bilbo? We have something to tell you,” he said shyly. Bilbo perked up.</p><p>“We’re engaged,” Frodo said, his voice softened as he added, “We’re going to be married, uncle.” Bilbo gasped in delight and set his tea aside, going to them. </p><p>“My boys!” he cried and took them both into his arms. Frodo and Sam hugged him back. “Oh! I am so happy to hear that.” Frodo put his head against Bilbo’s shoulder and held on tight. Bilbo stroked his hair and let his cheek rest against Frodo’s head. </p><p>“What’s this?” </p><p>Gandalf peered in through the doorway.</p><p>“Gandalf, come in here,” Bilbo told him.</p><p>“I heard there was tea,” Gandalf said brightly, “and that Sam and Frodo had come back. How was it?”</p><p>“It was wonderful. Thank you for arranging it all,” Frodo said and took his hand.</p><p>“Who wants to tell him?” Bilbo pressed.</p><p>“Tell me what?” Gandalf asked, but his eyes were shining.</p><p>“We’re getting married!” Sam cried. Gandalf’s face lit up and he knelt down as Frodo and Sam rushed to embrace him. </p><p>“Congratulations,” he said, hugging them tight. The four of them sat down to tea and had a long wonderful conversation. Frodo was dazed by it all, but even so, he felt a warm bright happiness in his chest.</p><p>They told Merry and Pippin that afternoon. They were just as delighted and Pippin cried a little. </p><p>“Don’t mind me,” he’d laughed when Frodo hugged him, “I’m just very very happy.”</p><p>“Will you make an announcement tonight at dinner?” Merry asked.</p><p>“I suppose that’s the right way to do it,” Frodo nodded.</p><p>“Would you like us to find Éowyn and Faramir?” Pippin asked. Frodo glanced at Sam and Sam nodded. </p><p>“And Legolas and Gimli. Whoever finds them, ask them to come see us.”</p><p>“Right,” Pippin nodded. </p><p>§</p><p>Pippin darted down the hallways, determined to find as many of their friends as he could. He spotted Faramir in the gardens near the library and shouted at him from the stairs.</p><p>“Faramir! Come with me!” </p><p>Faramir gazed up at him.</p><p>“Why?” he asked. </p><p>“I can’t tell you,” Pippin leapt down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Faramir watched him wide eyed. </p><p>“Those steps are large for Men and you…”</p><p>“Faramir!”</p><p>“I am sorry,” Faramir said stiffly, though Pippin could see he was teasing, “but the Prince of Ithilien does not abide surprises.”</p><p>“It’s Frodo and Sam,” Pippin said, “come on!”</p><p>Faramir’s teasing evaporated.</p><p>“Are they alright?” he rose quickly.</p><p>“Yes, or course,” Pippin sighed, “You’re not making this any fun.”</p><p>“I apologize. Has something happened? Can’t you tell me anything?” he paused adding, “I do not like going into situations without knowing what is happening.”</p><p>Pippin stared up at him. </p><p>“I’ll tell you,” Pippin whispered, stepping close, “but you have to promise to act surprised.”</p><p>“I give you my oath,” Faramir said.</p><p>“They’re going to be married,” Pippin whispered. Faramir looked alarmed and his mouth dropped open. This wasn’t what Pippin was expecting. Faramir gathered himself and smiled widely.</p><p>“That’s wonderful news!” he said. Pippin stared up at him, puzzled. </p><p>“What? Is it so shocking for you?” he asked. Faramir was sheepish. </p><p>“Not at all,” he said quietly, “It’s just that I thought they were already married.”</p><p>“Oh,” Pippin said, a little stunned.</p><p>“Merry wrote that they ruled the Shire together and lived in a house in the capital city of the hobbits.”</p><p>Pippin laughed.</p><p>“Oh dear,” Faramir sighed, “I’ve been very rude, it seems.”</p><p>“No you haven't,” Pippin said firmly, “I’m not going to fault you for taking a look at Frodo and Sam and guessing - correctly I might add - that they were in love. And don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” He and Faramir shared a moment of silence. Faramir smiled.</p><p>“Do you see?” he laughed softly, “it was good you told me.”</p><p>§</p><p>That night at dinner Elrond rose, taking his place at the head of the Hall. He made a beautiful speech before calling Sam and Frodo up to the front and announced their plans to marry. The Hall cheered and Frodo took Sam’s hand in his. Frodo thanked Elrond and the Elves but that was all- he was not asked to speak more than that- and together, they retreated back to their seats where Merry and Pippin were waiting for them. </p><p>“Glad we didn’t have to talk,” Sam whispered.</p><p>“I’m sure the Elves have long ago learned their lesson,” Frodo whispered back, “about asking hobbits to make speeches. Bilbo must have antagonized them terribly,” Frodo laughed. Sam choked. </p><p>“They didn’t ask you to speak because I told them not to,” Merry said moodily. Frodo smiled at him.</p><p>“Thank you, Merry,” he said and kicked him under the table. Merry kicked back. </p><p>After dinner, they had many well wishers and it was some time before they were able to leave. Frodo and Sam set off together, hand in hand, going to their room and looking forward to the quiet. </p><p>§</p><p>“Merry,” Frodo groaned, “tell me if we’re making asses of ourselves having two weddings? Even the King didn’t do that. I feel ridiculous.” They were seated together on the beach in Merry’s room at the table by the window having tea. They’d begun to discuss plans for the wedding. Merry glanced up at him, sipping his drink.</p><p>“The King didn’t have the Gamgees, the Bagginses, the Brandybucks, the Tooks, and the Goodchilds to take into account,” he said but Frodo still looked pained. </p><p>“No, just all the kingdoms of Men and Elves,” he sighed. Merry raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“As far as hobbits are concerned, having a wedding outside of the Shire or Buckland is like you haven't been married at all.”</p><p>“But then the sensible thing is to just have the wedding in the  Shire,” Frodo said softly. “Almost everyone could go there.” Merry eyed him.</p><p>“But not  Bilbo.”</p><p>Frodo went quiet.</p><p>“He might if I asked.”</p><p>Merry shook his head.</p><p>“You know he can’t,” he said softly. “He’s not going west until he leaves this land. He can’t make the journey to the Shire and back to Rivendell and then back to the Havens.”</p><p>“No,” Frodo said softly. “No, and I would be horrible to ask that of him.”</p><p>“Not horrible,” Merry said and shifted over to put his arms around Frodo. “It’s not horrible to want him there.”</p><p>“It’s selfish,” Frodo whispered. “And demanding. And to make the Elves host us…”</p><p>“No it isn’t,” Merry whispered back. “Elrond offered, remember all that at dinner?”</p><p>“To have a whole wedding <em>here</em>, just because one person can’t come to the Shire.”</p><p>“But that person is Bilbo,” Merry soothed and let Frodo rest against his shoulder. “Frodo-dear, stop putting your own needs and wants aside. Let your friends do this for you.” Frodo was silent for a moment, then nodded. Merry kissed him.</p><p>“Be extravagant,” Merry smiled. “And don’t worry about being an ass. Hey! If you’re really worried about that, Pippin and I will play the asses as usual. Blame us for anything you like.”</p><p>Frodo smiled, then laughed.</p>
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<a name="section0043"><h2>43. A Son of Durin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The months rolled by and soon the new year was approaching. Rivendell was properly in winter now and heavy piles of snow blanketed the entire valley. But even so, the snow did not stop one small party of visitors from making their way to the gates.</p><p>One dark winter afternoon, Bilbo and Frodo were summoned to the Hall and there they found a company of Dwarves, warming themselves before the massive fireplace. Gimli was standing beside one elder, offering him a steaming drink as Bilbo and Frodo entered. </p><p>“Glóin,” Bilbo breathed and clutched Frodo’s hand. </p><p>“My friend!” the elder Dwarf called, catching sight of them. He went to meet them and Bilbo quickened their pace. Glóin folded Bilbo into a hug and Bilbo clutched him tight. </p><p> “And how are you?” Glóin asked, drawing back.</p><p>“I’m well,” Bilbo said, tears in his eyes. “I’m well. And you? How is the Mountain?” Glóin smiled and patted his back.</p><p>“I am well and the Mountain is well, and so are all who bide there.”</p><p>Bilbo nodded and brought Frodo close with a hand on his back. </p><p>“This is my ward,” he said to Glóin, “Frodo Baggins.”</p><p>“I have heard of him,” Glóin said gently. He bowed low to Frodo. “Peacebringer.”</p><p>Frodo was caught off guard by the title. He bowed back.</p><p>“I am at your service,” he said.</p><p>“And I am at yours,” Glóin smiled. </p><p>They settled into the Hall as food and drink were brought for the travelers and Bilbo and Frodo learned more about their errand. They’d come from the Lonely Mountain after Gimli had sent a message to his father about Sam and Frodo’s plans to wed. They had traveled through the new road in Mirkwood and made their way through the Mist Mountains by way of the abandoned goblin tunnels and thus made very good time.</p><p>“I’m afraid the wedding won’t be for sometime,” Frodo said apologetically.</p><p>“We wanted to arrive as soon as we could,” Glóin said. </p><p>“There are matters to see to before the wedding,” Gimli added. </p><p>“Matters?” Frodo asked. Glóin cast a look at his son. </p><p>“Yes,” he said slowly. “Besides coming for the wedding, I have come to deliver a message from King Thorin Stonehelm. By his edict, you, Frodo Baggins, have been declared a Son of Durin.” Beside him, Bilbo drew in a breath. Frodo blinked.</p><p>“How is that?” he asked in a hushed voice, but Glóin wasn’t looking at him, but at Bilbo.</p><p>“Yes, how is this possible?” Bilbo asked quietly.</p><p>“The King has recognized the pledge of betrothal our Thorin made with you,” Glóin said. Bilbo went very quiet. Frodo waited, barely breathing. </p><p>“We weren’t married,” Bilbo said softly. </p><p>“But you would have been,” Glóin said. Bilbo blinked and shook his head looking dazed. “You should have been recognized by our people long ago.”</p><p>“My friends were more important to me than having my name written down in the book,” Bilbo said, smiling weakly.</p><p>“You can have both,” Glóin said, “your name is written in the Line of Durin, Bilbo.” </p><p>Bilbo stared at him.</p><p>“I am very sorry. I don’t know what to say,” he said. “I’ll be properly thankful later, forgive an old hobbit.”</p><p>“You have nothing to prove to me,” Glóin said. They shared a look before Glóin turned to regard Frodo. “I could not bear for you to be wed without the honors that you are due.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Frodo said. “You must have toiled long hours on our behalf and I am deeply grateful.” He hoped that was enough. It didn’t feel like it. He barely knew what it meant to be a Son of Durin. </p><p>Later he found a moment alone with Gimli at the drinks table. </p><p>Frodo thanked him again adding, “I am very happy, but I feel a little overwhelmed. Would you help me to understand this?” he asked. Gimli nodded.</p><p>“Of course, my friend,” he smiled, “and I have a request as well. Send Sam to us in a bit. He’ll have a part to play in this as well.”</p><p>“As you like,” Frodo agreed. </p><p>§</p><p>Later that afternoon, Sam stood before a set of large wooden doors and knocked. Gimli let him in and brought him into the main sitting area of the chambers that the Dwarvish party had been given. Sam took a seat and Gimli brought him a steaming cup of tea. Sam took it gratefully, giving him a surprised look. Gimli laughed.</p><p>“My father has a fondness for tea- ever since Bilbo served it to him at Bag End.”</p><p>“Good afternoon,” Glóin said as he entered the chambers holding a lacquered box. Sam stood and bowed. Glóin smiled indulgently and bowed back. </p><p>“Samwise Gamgee at your service,” Sam said. </p><p>“Glóin, Gróin’s son. And I at your’s. We met at Elrond’s council, though I believe you were a little busy.”</p><p>“Oh. Like as not,” Sam smiled and felt his nerves drain away. Glóin had kindness in his eyes. He came to take a seat opposite him and he set the box he held on the table before Sam. </p><p>“Now then, Samwise, Frodo has told you of our errand, has he not?”</p><p>“Yes sir,” Sam said.</p><p>“When you marry Frodo you too will become part of the line of Durin,” Gimli said, “and as you will belong to this particular line, there is something for you here.” He gestured to the box. “Go on, open it.” Sam sat forward and carefully removed the top of the delicate box. It was velvet lined, but Sam’s eyes only lit upon the velvet for a moment, because within the box was a shining coat of delicate white mithril, studded with diamonds. Sam’s breath caught and he stared, speechless. He lifted his eyes. </p><p>“Oh but,” Sam quivered looking at the thing. He’d never dreamed that more than one mithril coat could exist in the whole world. “it’s too fine for me.” He stiffened, “I beg your pardon, not meaning disrespect.”</p><p>“That is alright,” Glóin said, “I understand a bit of hobbit manners. Let me assure you, this gift is you right.”</p><p>“My right?” Sam asked. </p><p>“It is a… “ Glóin frowned and shared a glance with Gimli. Gimli sat up. </p><p>“Father means that this shirt is one of a matched pair.”</p><p>“Then, it's meant to go with the one Frodo has?”</p><p>“Yes exactly,” Glóin said nodding in approval. “You see, this mithril shirt was crafted by the hands of King Óin and given as a betrothal gift to his beloved Biriz. He made a shirt for himself later and they were wed in the matching shirts. Ever after, the shirts were passed down the line of Durin, each of the Kings presenting a shirt to their beloved. The tradition continued through the line until our people had to Flee the Lonely Mountain.”</p><p>“But then, when you returned, Mr. Thorin Oakenshield gave the shirt to Mr. Bilbo,” Sam said. He paused. “Oh!” </p><p>“Oh, indeed,” Glóin laughed. </p><p>“I beg your pardon once more,” Sam said, “it’s just, Mr. Bilbo never made no mention of it being an engagement present in the stories.”</p><p>“Bilbo is a very dear little scoundrel,” Glóin said smiling, “and you should never count on him to give you all the details of a story. But, on this point it isn’t his fault. Thorin was such a shy one- he never told Bilbo what a gift like that meant.”</p><p>Sam sat still, struck and sad at the idea.</p><p>“From the stories I never would have thought of King Thorin as shy,” Gimli said, amused. Glóin smiled.</p><p>“Then Mr. Bilbo never knew what Mr. Thorin felt for him?” Sam asked.</p><p>“No, I didn’t mean that. He knew. He just didn’t know the details about the shirt,” Glóin said gently. “And had Thorin lived I am sure that he would have passed this shirt to his heir to give to you. Thorin’s intentions were clear, and I consider you and young Frodo to be just as much heirs of the House of Durin as I do King Thorin Stonehelm.”</p><p>“That is a great honor, sir,” Sam said and bowed.</p><p>“Put the shirt on, Samwise,” Gimli urged. “After all this talk, I want to see the craft of Óin.” Sam took the shirt and lifted it over his head, marveling at the lightness and the beauty of the thing. Sam wasn’t exactly clear on how far back Óin had ruled, but it must have been generations upon generations of Dwarf kings, and yet the mail shirt sparkled and moved easily with no hint of rust or grime.</p><p>The shirt was a bit large and long for a hobbit, as Frodo’s was, but even so, it draped down his body elegantly.</p><p>“Glorious,” Gilmi said, rising to walk around him, marveling at the thing.  </p><p>“I am glad to see this,”  Glóin said quietly. “This was Thorn’s shirt, but he never got to wear it. King Dáin had it hung in the King’s Hall all these years as a monument to Thorin. But the shirt was not meant to be a monument.” He shook his head, continuing, “I wanted it to be given to Bilbo, but Dáin said one mithril shirt was quite enough for a hobbit. Luckily Dáin’s son is not so hard headed. It never seemed right to me that the shirts should be separated. They were meant to be together.”</p><p>“Now they will,” Gimli said. Sam looked up and smiled.</p><p>“I’ll see to that,” he promised. </p><p>§</p><p>Sam left not long after, taking the shirt in its box to his room and stowing it away. He sat on his bed, pondering all that he’d learned. The more Sam thought on Glóin’s words the more it made his heart ache. If the love between Bilbo and Thorin had grown to the point of Thorin wanting to make a proposal, then Bilbo must have been more than devastated when Thorin died while Bilbo sat at his bedside. It must have crushed his heart.</p><p>Sam rose and went out, impulsively heading off to Bilbo’s quarters.  When he arrived he found the door open and spotted Bilbo at the far side of his living quarters back turned at his desk. Sam knocked on the door frame as he timidly peeked in. Bilbo was grumbling to himself. Sam paused.</p><p>“Mr. Bilbo?” he called quietly. Bilbo still did not turn. Sam waited a moment, then knocked once more on the doorframe, wrapping louder this time. Bilbo jumped and turned, blinking at him, frowning. </p><p>“Oh! Samwise!” his frown melted and he smiled. “Lad, what are you knocking on walls for? Come here, I need your ear.”</p><p>“Oh, yes, sir,” Sam said and went to Bilbo’s desk, taking a seat on the couch beside the desk. BIlbo began reading to him, squinting at his words. It was a long poem about the line of Durin. Bilbo was pausing often, peering close at the paper, frowning. He snorted after a moment.</p><p>“This is no good,” he muttered and got up on shaky legs, moving to the couch and took a seat beside Sam. He put the book into Sam’s hands.</p><p>“My eyes are tired,” he sighed, “would you read it to me?” </p><p>“Of course,” Sam said. “I’m sorry if I stumble on the names.”</p><p>“That’s alright, dear,” Bilbo smiled and patted his arm, leaning back and closing his eyes. Sam settled in and began to read. He’d only been reading a few minutes when Bilbo began to snore. Sam quieted his voice before falling silent. He leaned back and listened to Bilbo. He glanced over at him.</p><p>To Sam, Bilbo had always been a great adventurer, the wisest hobbit in the Shire, and in touch with all that was magic and strange, and different. Bilbo was mighty in Sam’s eyes, and nothing could really bring him down. He might curse and run from Lobelia, but that was for show. If Bilbo wanted to, he could match wits with her and steal the spoons back. He just thought it was funnier to run. </p><p><em>I always thought Mr. Bilbo went off on his great tale and gained everything, lost nothing, </em>Sam thought.<em> Somehow I thought that, even though I knew he lost friends in that war. But he never let us see how much he lost. </em>Sam felt himself shaking from the inside.</p><p>
  <em>He went off, went to his Mountain and was caught in battle, and when he got himself out of his trouble he comes to find that the person he loved was a-dying. </em>
</p><p>Sam didn’t often do this, but for once he let himself go back to the moment after the battle with the spider, and how he had crouched by Frodo. No breath, no heartbeat. Even now Sam felt a creeping sick horror seize him and his heart began to pound in an echo of panic. </p><p>Back then, he’d felt the light in his soul flicker out.</p><p><em>But how much worse for Mr. Bilbo? He had to bear that grief, </em>Sam thought, <em>had to bear it and go home bearing and pass each year bearing it. And it never came untrue. Not for him. </em></p><p>
  <em>I hope time has eased him. I can’t imagine it.</em>
</p><p>Sam reached out and set his hand on Bilbo’s shoulder and rested his cheek on top of Bilbo’s head.</p><p><em>You came back from that darkness of watching your love die,</em> Sam thought. <em>When all I wanted was to finish my love’s job and then go lay down with him and never get up again. </em></p><p><em>Different circumstances, </em>Sam reminded himself, and felt tears slide down his cheeks. <em>But even so, how strong he is. </em></p><p>He paused a moment, then closing his eyes, let himself slip into a doze. Sam stayed with Bilbo for the rest of the afternoon. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Hobbit Visitors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is rated explicit.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pippin walked along the high walls on the parapet over the main courtyard. He gazed up at the clear cold sky, watching his breath puff out before him. They might be into February, and the snows might have gone, but Rivendell was still very much in winter, with little sign of spring yet. He and Faramir were walking up on the walls where they wouldn’t disturb anyone with their loud talk.</p><p>“Oh!”</p><p>Pippin turned to see Faramir pause to gaze over the wall. Pippin trotted back to him, perking his ears up at the sound of hooves on stone. He frowned at the high stone block. It was too high for him to see over, but Faramir could see well enough.</p><p>“Who is it? Can you tell?” Pippin asked.</p><p>“Hobbits!” Faramir cried. Pippin gasped, turned to Faramir, and raised his arms.</p><p>“Lift me up!”</p><p>Faramir looked down at him. He only paused a moment then stepped forward and lifted Pippin up and set him against his hip, as Pippin clung to him. Pippin stared down, his heart pounding in excitement.</p><p>He’d thought Faramir meant it was only the Post hobbit’s who traveled outside the Shire, but no, it was a full company of hobbits on ponies, with several carts. There were banners on the carts. Familiar banners.</p><p>“Tooks!” Pippin shouted and slid down from Faramir’s arms, bolting away.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo and Sam had spent second breakfast with Bilbo and had now moved over to the parlor. Sam was building the fire up for Bilbo, who was seated nearby. Frodo brought him a blanket.</p><p>“Thank you, you two,” Bilbo sighed as he wrapped himself up. “I feel the cold so keenly these days. Winter is unpleasant.”</p><p>“You call me anytime you need your fire built up,” Sam said, eyeing the fireplace. “These Elves don’t build them right, begging their pardon, for all that they are wise and all.”</p><p>“You mean they don’t build them the way your father does,” Frodo said with a smile as he took a seat next to Bilbo. Sam nodded.</p><p>“Exactly, they don’t build them right.”</p><p>There was a knock at the door and an Elf leaned in, blinking at them.</p><p>“You have a guest, Sam Gamgee,” he said. Sam sat up.</p><p>“A guest, sir?” he asked, bewildered. Behind him, Hamfast Gamgee peeked around the Elf.</p><p>“Sam!” he cried, happily. Sam jumped to his feet, bolting to the doorway.</p><p>“Da!” he gasped and threw his arms around his father. Frodo gasped, leaning close to Bilbo.</p><p>“He’s conjured his father,” he whispered, "building that fire." Bilbo laughed.</p><p>“Watch him Frodo, he’ll be a wizard yet.”</p><p>“Am I dreaming?” Sam cried as he clung to his father. “How can you be here out in the Wild and all?”</p><p>“The Tooks brung me,” Hamfast said, laughing and hugged his son, peering into the room behind Sam. “Ah, Mr. Frodo!” he greeted.</p><p>“Hello Mr. Gamgee,” Frodo said, too happy to say anything more. Ham’s gaze moved then to Bilbo and he gasped. Sam drew him into the room.</p><p>“Da, it’s Mr. Bilbo,” he said.</p><p>“Hello, sir,” Hamfast said, stepping up to Bilbo’s sofa. Bilbo blinked at him and reached out, taking Hamfast’s hand.</p><p>“Hello, Hamfast Gamgee,” he said. “Fancy meeting you again.”</p><p>“I never thought I’d get to say good morning to you again,” Hamfast said, haltingly as he blinked back tears, “Good morning, sir.”</p><p>“Good morning,” Bilbo smiled. “And how are the taters, and the flowers?” he asked, just as he had asked for decades, when he had walked into the garden and leaned on the fence to speak to Hamfast Gamgee all those years ago. “And how are the Gamgee children?”</p><p>“The taters and the flowers are very well. Very well indeed,” Hamfast said, wiping away tears, “as are the Gamgee children. Except of course,” he laughed and put his arm around Sam’s back. “Except I’ve got one who keeps wandering off into the Blue.”</p><p>“Watch out then,” Bilbo said quietly. “There’s always more to those adventurous hobbits than anyone expects.”</p><p>“You are right about that, sir,” Hamfast said. Bilbo chuckled.</p><p>“Dad,” Sam said, his voice quiet but excited, “Did you get my letter? Do you know I’m to be wed?”</p><p>“I did,” Ham said, “it’s why I’m here of course. I know you said there’d be a Shire wedding, but I won’t miss this. Besides, I’ve made flower crowns for all my wedded children, and I’ll not hear of you being wed bareheaded, even if it is in foregn parts.”</p><p>Sam smiled, though Frodo could see he was holding back joyful tears. Ham turned his attention to Frodo.</p><p>“Well now, Mr. Frodo, you did promise me you’d take care of him, and I see you’ve done far better. From his letter and from seeing him now, I see that you’ve made my son as happy he’s ever been. Thank you for that and congratulations.”</p><p>“Thank you, sir,” Frodo said, “he’s made me happier than I’ve ever been, and I am so pleased you are here.”</p><p>“As am I,” Hamfast smiled, “now, I’m supposed to tell you two to go out to the courtyard and see the Tooks and to see Mr. Fatty Bolger.”</p><p>“Fatty! He’s here?” Frodo gasped.</p><p>“He is. And he took very good care of me on the trip here,” Hamfast said.</p><p>“Go on, you two, let me and Mr. Gamgee catch up,” Bilbo said, shooing Frodo off the sofa. Frodo stood along with Sam.</p><p>“See you at lunch?”</p><p>“Yes if you like,” Bilbo said politely.</p><p><em>Being nice in front of Mr. Gamgee, I see,</em> Frodo thought. Usually Bilbo would just growl ‘go away’, especially when he’d decided that Frodo and Sam ought to be spending time together or with their friends.</p><p>“Shall we go see what Fatty’s done, leaving the Shire to stumble on without any governance?” Frodo asked as he turned to Sam. Sam snorted and stepped over to him, taking his hand. Together they went out and made for the courtyard.</p><p>Frodo walked down the steps with Sam, taking in the now crowded and noisy courtyard. There was a throng of hobbits busily unloading the carts and tending ponies.</p><p>“Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee!” someone shouted out, the hobbit’s voice ringing off the stone of Rivendell. A wild cheer erupted from the crowd as they stood up. Sam waved shyly as Frodo laughed in joy. He saw Fatty emerge from behind a cart and make for them. Frodo made himself look stern.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” he demanded, “I left you in charge of the Mayorship!” Fatty only raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“Fine greeting, that,” he huffed, but Frodo was already hugging him. Fatty laughed and hugged him back. “Well Frodo, when I go off I don’t take my Deputy with me, unlike <em>some </em>Mayors.”</p><p>“Oh. Who’s Deputy?”</p><p>“Pearl Took.”</p><p>“Very good,” Frodo nodded.</p><p>“I hear you looked after my dad,” Sam said. Fatty smiled and folded Sam into a hug. “Thank you.”</p><p>“I was very glad he could come,” Fatty said. “And I was very glad to be of service to the Gamgees.”</p><p>“Who else is here?” Frodo asked. Fatty chuckled and nudged Sam.</p><p>“Look at him, bracing himself for Lobelia Sackville-Baggins.”</p><p>“Well,” Frodo sniffed, “is she here?”</p><p>“Heavens no,” Fatty shook his head. “You ought to know she’s waiting for your Shire wedding.”</p><p>“What would Mr. Bilbo say to meeting your Aunt Lobelia again… Doesn’t bear thinking on,” Sam murmured. Frodo had a sudden wicked thought. Sam stared at him. “Frodo Baggins, don’t you dare,” he said.</p><p>“It would be <em>very </em>funny.”</p><p>“To tell Bilbo that old Lobelia is here…?” Fatty said in an undertone. “I’d pay money to see that.”</p><p>“I’ll not stand for it,” Sam said, crossing his arms. Frodo murmured in disappointment as he hugged Sam, before giggling.</p><p>“Oh, one word of warning,” Fatty said, “Merry’s mother is here along with an entourage of Brandybucks.”</p><p>“Oh dear, Uncle Saradoc couldn’t make it?” Frodo asked, smiling brightly. Fatty rolled his eyes.</p><p>“You’ll stop being so cheeky when she gets ahold of you.”</p><p>“You know, I think we ought to find Merry,” Frodo said. “I haven’t seen him in a while.”</p><p>“Oh he’s…” Sam broke off looking alarmed. He glanced around. Frodo observed Fatty perk up at the scent of scandal. “He’s... entertaining Lady Éowyn,” Sam said carefully but didn’t manage to keep the blush out of his cheeks.</p><p>“Oh well then,” Frodo said, “It’s our duty to defend him from Brandybucks. None of us know where he is, understand?” Fatty and Sam nodded. “And I believe the only one who will be able to divert her for very long is going to be me,” Frodo sighed.</p><p>“I’m afraid it’s true,” Fatty nodded, “oh dear, there she is now.” Sure enough, Esmeralda Brandybuck had spotted them and was making her way through the crowd. Frodo braced himself.</p><p>“For Merry,” he said softly.</p><p>§</p><p>Merry nestled himself more snuggly against Éowyn’s body as he leaned in once more kissed the soft mound between her legs. She sighed in pleasure and arched a little, reaching down to pet his curls.</p><p>“Dear Merry,” she cooed to him, “Use your sweet tongue now.”</p><p>Merry cried softly in his throat as he pressed down and did as she bid him. Her scent and her touch against his hair and his neck and shoulders, her words directing him, it all made him burn with pleasure.</p><p>The outer chamber door opened and closed softly, but in Merry’s state of mind he didn’t pay it much heed. He was focused on his task, his ears turned to listen to Éowyn’s soft cries.</p><p>“Hello darling,” Faramir said gently as he entered the bed chamber. “Darlings,” he corrected himself. Merry made a soft hum of greeting, but he was too devoted to the working of his tongue along Eowyn’s warm cleft to do much more. The bed dipped as he took a seat beside Éowyn.</p><p>“Mmm,” Éowyn sighed softly and Merry opened his eyes, glancing up. Faramir was kissing her neck, stroking her breasts in slow gentle circles.</p><p>“Oh,” Éowyn whispered, “Darling, he’s been pleasing me in his way for such a long time. Hours, I believe. It’s so <em>good</em>.”</p><p>“Oh yes?” Faramir breathed as he moved down to kiss her shoulder. “The Prince of Ithilien commends you, Master Meriadoc, for service to the House of Arnen.” Merry did his best not to laugh. He was learning that Faramir had a very peculiar sense of humor and that he loved unleashing it in the bedroom.</p><p>Éowyn’s cries intensified and when Merry looked up again, Faramir was kissing her nipple while he stroked the other. Merry took the hint and used his fingers to slip into Éowyn’s body while he intensified his efforts at her clit. She came then on his fingers, crying out sharply as she clutched her husband to her breast. The waved passed over her and she relaxed slowly. Merry eased his fingers away and sat up, a little dizzy. Faramir stroked Éowyn’s face and kissed her lips, and then he turned to Merry.</p><p>“Come up here, Master. You need a little attention, don’t you?” he asked. Merry moaned. His cock was aching.</p><p>He was laid in Éowyn’s lap and Faramir took his cock in hand, bending down to kiss the tip. Merry cried out, knowing he was being loud, but not caring. Faramir was sucking him while Éowyn stroked his chest and whispered obscenities in his ear. He lasted longer than he’d thought he would, given how worked up he was. They brought him off and kissed him as he gasped and shook.</p><p>Afterwards, Merry plucked weakly at Faramir’s shirt.</p><p>“You?” he whispered.</p><p>“I am alright just now,” Faramir said, “perhaps later.” Merry closed his eyes and leaned back into Éowyn’s embrace, very content. “You look so comfortable,” Faramir went on, “it pains me to tell you, that you are wanted down in the courtyard. A large group of hobbits have arrived.” Merry gasped and sat up.</p><p>“Hobbits?”</p><p>“Tooks mostly, I heard,” Faramir said, “but some Brandybucks as well. Including your mother.”</p><p>“Oh,” Merry gasped and scrambled off the bed, looking for his clothes. “Why didn’t you say?”</p><p>“It would have probably spoiled the mood.”</p><p>Merry glanced at him as he pulled his breeches on.</p><p>“Fair enough.”</p><p>“And what were you going to do, dear?” Éowyn asked him, a teasing light in her eyes, “run down there with your cock standing up?”</p><p>“Er. Hm,” Merry chuckled. “Thank you, both for seeing to that!”</p><p>“Any time you have need, you have only to call for the aid of Gondor,” Faramir smiled. Eowyn snorted and smacked his shoulder. Merry paused, watching them, his heart full.</p><p>“I’ll see you both at supper?” he asked.</p><p>“Of course, dear,” Éowyn smiled at him. “I hope you have a good time with your people.”</p><p>Merry nodded, snapping on his bracers as he went to the door.</p><p>“Thank you,” he called. He was stepping out of this warm sweet place with his friends and he wasn’t sure what he was about to be stepping into.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. A Song for Bilbo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Esmeralda Brandybuck made her way through the crowd and approached Frodo.</p><p>“Hello Frodo-dear,” she said. “I hear that congratulations are in order.”</p><p>“Thank you Aunty. It’s very good to see you.”</p><p>“Now darling, where is my son?” Esmeralda asked.</p><p>“He’s hiking,” Frodo said smoothly, “in the section above Rivendell with Prince Faramir of Ithilian.”</p><p>“Hiking?” Esmeralda blinked, “it’s quite cold for that. Who let him go out? Frodo? I thought you were looking after him.”</p><p>“He’s,” Frodo began but Esmeralda perked up, and waved.</p><p>“Gandalf!” She cried out. Frodo turned and saw Gandalf, surrounded in a crowd of Tooks. He looked up.</p><p>“Esmeralda Took!” He said warmly and excused himself, making his way over.</p><p>“I should have known you’d be involved in all this,” Esmeralda said.</p><p>“Oh yes?” Gandalf said, looking very innocent. Frodo tried not to smile.</p><p>“Where is my son?” Esmeralda pressed. Gandalf glanced at Frodo then looked quickly back to Esmeralda.</p><p>“Hiking with Prince Faramir.”</p><p>“Hm,” Esmeralda sniffed. “It’s too cold.”</p><p>“Merry’s very fit and he’s dressed warmly and Faramir will never let anything happen to him,” Frodo said. “I promise, Aunty.”</p><p>“Would you like to wait for him in the Hall, m’m?” Sam asked gently, “There’s a great fire going and the Elves have some very good hot drinks.”</p><p>“Thank you, Sam Gamgee,” Esmeralda said and smiled at him. “I would like that very much.”</p><p>Frodo led her inside and was relieved to see that the Brandybuck crowd did not follow after. He suspected his Aunt had told them to let her meet Merry on her own. It only made Frodo more nervous about how much his aunt welcomed his own presence and Sam’s presence. If Merry didn’t show for a while it might be very hard going.</p><p>Though the Great Hall was large and there were Elves down at one end near the other fireplace, it felt relatively private at their table. Frodo served drinks to his aunt and to Sam before taking his seat next to Sam.</p><p>Frodo was trying to think of pleasant conversation when Merry appeared, rushing down from the stairs at the far end. Esmeralda followed his gaze and she put a hand to her mouth, rising.</p><p>Merry stilled for only a moment, then ran through the Great Hall and to his mother, throwing his arms around her. Esmeralda clutched him, holding an hand to the back of his head, rocking him.</p><p>“Hello mama,” Merry said and kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you arrived.”</p><p>“That’s alright dear you weren’t to know.”</p><p>“How was your hike with Faramir?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“Oh it was very nice,” Merry said easily. “Good for building up my strength.”</p><p>Merry could always be counted on to pick up things very quickly. Frodo was very pleased but he didn’t let it show. Merry took a seat beside his mother. Esmeralda peered at him.</p><p>“Now, you said in your letter you were receiving treatment? You look well.”</p><p>“I’ve healed,” Merry said. “At least the wound has.”</p><p>“What does that mean?” Esmeralda asked quietly.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Merry said. “It was a poisoned wound, mama. But I feel strong.”</p><p>Esmeralda glanced at Frodo, her eyes worried. Frodo sat back.</p><p>“We’ll leave you to catch up,” he said and made to rise, setting a hand to Sam’s back.</p><p>“That’s alright, Frodo, Samwise,” Esmeralda said and looked to her son, “if it’s alright with you, Merry?”</p><p>“Yes,” Merry smiled wanly. “Frodo and Sam are family and they understand this better than anyone else.”</p><p>They all paused for a moment and Merry met Frodo’s gaze before turning to his mother.</p><p>“There might be sick spells,” he said. “At least, that’s how it’s been for Frodo.”</p><p>“But Merry’s wound was clean,” Frodo said, “He didn’t carry shards of the cursed blade inside the wound as I did. I hope that means he will have an easier go of it.”</p><p>Esmeralda gazed at Frodo and did not speak. Frodo felt a chill.</p><p>“The Elves tell me,” Merry said, “that the main factor in my speedy recovery was the fact that Frodo was looking after me and healing me the whole way, though he’s too modest to say so.” Esmeralda continued to gaze at Frodo in silence, then she reached out putting her hand over his.</p><p>“Thank you, dear.”</p><p>Frodo felt a tightness in his throat.</p><p>“Of course Aunty.”</p><p>§</p><p>They had lunch with Bilbo, Hamfast, and Esmeralda. Pippin has disappeared with the Tooks and Frodo didn’t see much of him for the rest of the day. After lunch Sam excused himself so that he could see to his father. Frodo had then spent the rest of the afternoon with his aunt and with Merry.</p><p>That evening after supper, Frodo took a walk along the halls. He wanted to walk under the stars, but one step outside had changed his mind. It was far too cold. So he walked through Rivendell’s long high ceilinged hallways holding a lantern to light his way. It felt cozy, somewhat like his tweenish night walks at Brandy Hall- except that instead of endless winding ornate tunnels, Rivendell’s halls opened up onto expansive landings, studded with high windows looking down on the moonlit river tumbling over jagged dark rocks below.</p><p>He paused at one of these landings and stepped close to one of the windows. Silence was all around him. He touched the frosty glass and gazed up at the stars.</p><p>He stood there for a long time, until he became aware of light growing behind him. It was the light from another lantern. When the light spread around his feet, casting shadows against the glass Frodo turned and to his surprise, his eyes met Hamfast Gamgee’s gaze. He nodded in greeting.</p><p>“Hello there,” he said quietly.</p><p>“Mr. Frodo,” Hamfast said.</p><p>“Oh dear, have they given you a room all the way out here?” Frodo asked, concerned. Hamfast smiled and shook his head.</p><p>“No, just walking about a bit before bed.”</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo said, surprised. He hadn’t thought Sam’s father much for taking walks. But then, again, this wasn’t quite the same Hamfast who he’d known before their journey. “You know you don’t have to bother with the Mister and all that,” Frodo said softly. Hamfast chuckled softly and drew close to stand with Frodo by the window.</p><p>“Sam explained it all,” he said. “But it will take a little getting used to.”</p><p>“I understand.”</p><p>Hamfast turned to the window gazing down.</p><p>“A little different from home,” Frodo murmured.</p><p>“It is at that,” Ham agreed, “but I’m finding I like this place.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Sam took me on a tour this afternoon while you were with your aunt,” Hamfast said, “he showed me every nook of this place I reckon. And told me so many stories he’s picked up. And the gardens, well, I wish I could see this place when it’s not the dead of winter. At any rate it’s very clear that he loves this place.”</p><p>“Sam loves all places of the Elves,” Frodo smiled. The chill of the hallway was beginning to get to him. The tip of his nose was cold. But he didn’t try and hurry this. Talking to Hamfast had always brought his heart peace.</p><p>“And so I’m glad he’s to wed here,” Hamfast said. “I was worried it was some stern place he’d not feel easy at.”</p><p>“No,” Frodo smiled fondly. “No, that wouldn’t do.”</p><p>“And I’m very glad you’re going to make an honest hobbit of him at last,” Hamfast said, pleased. Frodo drew in a breath, stunned and turned to the other hobbit. Ham laughed at his expression. “Oh Mr. Frodo! Don’t look like that. I’m teasing you. And anyway, it’s not such a bad thing- a couple living together first. Me and the missus done it, you know.” Frodo eased.</p><p>“Oh. Really?” he asked. “Well, I have to say, you're much more broad minded than most of my relatives.”</p><p>“They won’t give you grief will they?” Ham asked, concerned. Frodo snorted.</p><p>“They’ll try and give me grief no matter what. But I don’t care a wit if they do.”</p><p>“I’m sorry about that,” Ham said. “Truly I am. I know you Bagginses like to push all that off and make a sport of it, but I am sorry. You ought to have love from your family.” He paused, going on quietly, “you do, you know. On the Gamgee side, at least.” Frodo turned to him wide eyed and struck. Ham smiled and went on before he could say anything. “Now, I know Mr. Bilbo would usually be the one to make your crown, but his hands aren’t very steady, you know,” Ham paused, “I’d be very glad to make a crown for you.” Frodo drew in a breath and reached out, taking Hamfast’s hand.</p><p>“Mr. Gamgee,” he said, “I can’t tell you how deeply your words touch me. How happy it makes me. And I would of course be very happy for you to make my crown, but I’m afraid Merry has already begun crafting it. He’s going to do it with Bilbo. I’m very sorry.”</p><p>“Not at all, and I’m very glad to hear it,” Ham said, “that’s as it should be.”</p><p>“I am so happy you are here,” Frodo said. Hamfast clasped his hand, before stepping away.</p><p>“As am I,” he said. “The cold is getting to me. I’ll bid you goodnight. We’ll see each other tomorrow I suppose?”</p><p>“Yes, sir,” Frodo said. “Can I walk you back?” Ham brightened.</p><p>“I’d be very glad for that. I think I may have lost my way.”</p><p>“I’ll guide you,” Frodo said, and led Hamfast back down the halls towards their quarters.</p><p>§</p><p>Sam had settled in for the evening at Bilbo’s rooms with his guests, Gimli, Gloin, and Legolas. He’d thought Frodo or his father might possibly wander in later, but Frodo had spent all afternoon and evening with the Brandybucks and Sam suspected he was worn out. Hamfast hadn’t, but he’d still be worn out. Sam had walked his father to his quarters after supper and said goodnight to him.</p><p>As the talk meandered on Sam gazed into the fire, trying to come to a decision. He’d been wondering when to do this, and here he was, presented with the perfect opportunity. He shouldn’t just pass it up.</p><p>“Mr. Bilbo?” Sam said shyly when there was a break in the conversation.</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>Sam took a breath then stood, putting his hands behind his back, the way he had when he was a child reciting for Bilbo.</p><p>“I’d like to present you with a gift,” he said. He held his head high and tried not to tremble. Bilbo blinked then his expression softened.</p><p>“Oh, Sam-lad,” he said softly, “this isn’t just any gift, is it?” He was obviously deeply touched. Sam shook his head.</p><p>Legolas, Gimli and Glóin beside him looked from Bilbo to Sam, confusion evident in their faces. Sam was too nervous to try and explain. He didn’t mind his friends seeing this, but he wasn’t sure how to explain or even if he should. He was saved by Bilbo, who sat back and turned to the others.</p><p>“It’s a hobbit tradition,” he said, “when a couple wed, each one goes to the other’s parents and presents them with a gift and in turn the parents give their blessing- or they reject the gift and don’t.” Bilbo looked up and winked at Sam. Sam’s nerves calmed a little. This was Mr. Bilbo. It was alright.</p><p>“I’ve made a song for you,” Sam said quietly, “and I’d like to sing it for you.”</p><p>“Please,” Bilbo nodded. Sam drew in breath, and steadied himself. Then he began to sing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>In days gone past in Shire’s heart</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There came an old friend to the door</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stories of glory and I could take part</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I followed after him, seeking more</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Among the dwarves, I was an object of mirth </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A stranger in their mists</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I would prove my value and worth</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And use my charm and wits</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Many adventures we had and hardships we bore</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Through wood and mountains tall</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Our party came through a dark goblin door</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I took a long dark fall</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Alone I toiled through goblin lair </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A creeping spy unseen</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Til I could breathe the fresh and fair air</em>
</p><p>
  <em> And feel the blessed breeze</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Then in darkened forests, where shadows fall</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And air hangs still and stale</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The birds may call the trees grow tall </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Old Roads will shift and fail</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>We came at last to mountain pass</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Where deadly dragon slept</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My clever tongue won my life and my task</em>
</p><p>
  <em>To reveal a secret long kept </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I faced dark fire and beast of lore</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And stood against my friends </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My dear king fell in that terrible war</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But at his end made amends</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Though here at journey's end I lie</em>
</p><p>
  <em>in darkness buried deep,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>beyond all towers strong and high,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>beyond all mountains steep,</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Above all shadow rides the sun</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And stars forever dwell</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will not say the day is done</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nor bid the stars farewell </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The road goes on and points me home</em>
</p><p>
  <em>To lonely journey’s end</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Down long hard roads that my heart still roams</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Till I’m there and back again</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The story’s not done and again joy would grow</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For I brought an heir to Bag End</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I told him all of my tale and my woe </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And one day he will go there and back again</em>
</p><p> </p><p>There was silence as he finished and Sam met Bilbo's eyes. They were very bright.</p><p>“Samwise Gamgee, that was lovely,” Bilbo said, glowing with pride. Sam grinned. “Come here, lad.” Sam went and knelt by Bilbo’s chair and the old hobbit put his arms around him. “I can’t tell you how much I will treasure that song. What a beautiful gift from a beautiful soul.” Sam clasped Bilbo back.</p><p>“You’re very welcome,” he said, “it was you who taught me song making. You give me so much. You gave me the life I have.” Bilbo smiled and patted Sam’s back.</p><p>“And you are the one who gave me my life. Before you came along I’m very sorry to say I was a bit of a curmudgeon. But you taught me to be sweet to children. I learned by watching your father care for you when he brought you up to Bag End. And once I proved I could look after you he let me teach you to read. That’s when I started telling my stories to all the young folk. Oh Sam-lad. I could have never adopted Frodo if I hadn’t learned from you. You made me a better hobbit.”</p><p>“Oh,” Sam whispered.</p><p>“I love you, lad, you know that don’t you?” Bilbo said softly. Sam nodded and wiped away a tear.</p><p>“I love you too, Mr. Bilbo.”</p><p>Bilbo smiled and put his hands on Sam’s head.</p><p>“I bless you, Sam Gamgee and I bless the union between you and Frodo. May your days be filled with peace. May your home be filled with love. May your table overflow with friends and family and food. And may your adventures together be a joy.”</p><p>Sam swallowed hard, his heart bursting.</p><p>“Thank you, Mr. Bilbo. Thank you.”</p><p>Afterwards Bilbo grew sleepy and before long they were all bidding him goodnight. Sam walked back along the halls with Legolas and Gimli as they escorted Gloin back to his quarters.</p><p>“Your song was really very lovely,” Legolas said, “But the middle bit about the forest, was that,” he blinked, “were you singing about Mirkwood?”</p><p>“Oh!” Sam stilled. “Begging your pardon.”</p><p>“That’s alright,” Legolas said, “but I see that I must take you through the forest and show you it is a bit better than <em>hobbit tales</em> make it out to be.”</p><p>“Yes!” Gimli perked up, “Sam, you and Frodo both must come to Erebor to meet your family. And Legolas here will arrange an escort through Mirkwood.”</p><p>“That’s kind, but we wouldn’t want to impose,” Sam said, but Legolas looked thoughtful.</p><p>“No, I would be very pleased to host you both.”</p><p>“Well,” Sam said, “I’ve always dreamed of seeing the mountain. And the forest,” he added. “I’ll bring it to Frodo.”</p><p>“Very good,” Gimli smiled at him.</p><p>They parted soon after and Sam wandered back to the room he shared with Frodo, whistling to himself as he walked the dimly lit hallways. His heart was warm and full.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Usually I take my hobbit songs from poems written in the 19th century (since I'm not very good at writing lyrics or poems) but I did write Sam's song for Bilbo except of course for the two verses that came from Sam's Song in the Tower.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Mind at Rest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam came into the bedroom and saw that Frodo was already in bed. He moved quietly and slipped in beside him. Though he was silent Frodo turned sleepily onto his back and murmured wordlessly. Sam shifted over and rested his arm on Frodo’s chest and stroked his cheek. Frodo sighed in pleasure and his eyes slipped closed.</p><p>Sam felt himself smiling. Frodo was beautiful like this, relaxed and sleepy and leaning into his touch. Sam pillowed his head on his arm and gazed at him.</p><p>After a while Frodo opened his eyes and turned on his side, returning Sam’s gaze. He reached up and ran his hand through Sam’s curls and then stroked his ear.</p><p>“Mm,” Sam murmured. Frodo chuckled and moved in as Sam lifted his arm to fold him into an embrace. Sam bent his head down and kissed Frodo’s forehead.</p><p>They lay together in silence until Sam shifted once more, stirring them both back into wakefulness.</p><p>“We’ve been invited to Erebor by Mr. Gimli,” Sam murmured, “And Mirkwood, too by Mr. Legolas.”</p><p>“Mm, really?”</p><p>“It would be something, to see those places,” Sam whispered. Frodo shifted to look up at him, smiling a little. Sam blinked and glanced down. “I know we can’t any time soon. But.”</p><p>“Some day?”</p><p>“Couldn’t we?”</p><p>“I’d like that,” Frodo nuzzled him. “Maybe next year?”</p><p>“As soon as that?”</p><p>“I think that’s manageable.” He trailed off, and Sam thought he might be slipping back into a drowse. “And proper,” Frodo added. “Seeing as we will be Sons of Durin.”</p><p>“Oh. Yes,” Sam said in a whisper. They shared a look.</p><p>“I feel awkward about it too,” Frodo admitted. “To call myself such a thing, when I never knew Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo only ever hinted at what was between them,” he sighed, “and now suddenly I’m to receive all the honor that would come of being a Dwarf King’s heir. It doesn’t feel right.”</p><p>“I know,” Sam said, “but the more I hear of Mr. Glóin’s account, the more I realize that had he lived, Mr. Thorin would have been another uncle to you.” Frodo nodded.</p><p>“And I see it as a way of honoring Thorin for all he did, honoring the love between him and Bilbo, and honoring the care that Thorin’s family have shown us over the years. It’s much bigger than just a title.”</p><p>“It’s being part of a family,” Sam breathed.</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo said. “And there is nothing more important to me.”</p><p>Sam linked his hand in Frodo’s and leaned in, kissing his cheek. Frodo sighed happily and nestled himself deeper into Sam’s side and pulled the blankets up around them.</p><p>Sam closed his eyes, deeply content to feel Frodo warm against him. He was very sleepy but sleep wouldn’t quite come. So, Sam let himself rest and drifted, trying to listen for soothing night sounds. He smiled, recalling another night when he'd strained to hear night noises after unexpected trouble sleeping.</p><p>It had been the first night they’d slept at the new row house in Michael Delving. They’d spent the day moving the furniture in and Sam had been worn out and ready for sleep. Or so he’d thought. As he lay in his bed in his new posh room, he felt restless and suddenly very small and lonely.</p><p>There had been comfort in his little room at the New Number Three, with his father’s familiar presence about the place, and there had been comfort in his room at Bag End. He could sleep in new strange places of course, but in those instances he’d nearly always had the comfort of Frodo and Merry and Pippin with him. He couldn’t bear a place that was unfamiliar and lonely.</p><p>He’d lay there for several hours, telling himself sternly that he should go to sleep. He was Deputy Mayor, Samwise the Brave and all the rest. He ought to be strong enough to sleep soundly on his own. And yet sleep would not come.</p><p>Finally, he’d risen and gone out into the silent hallway. It wasn’t a matter of strength. It was a matter of what he needed. And what he needed was Frodo.</p><p>Gingerly he’d knocked at the door. When he got no answer he slipped the door open a crack.</p><p>“Frodo?” he’d whispered.</p><p>“Sam?”</p><p>Sam had been startled. Frodo had answered him at once.</p><p>“Yes, I-”</p><p>“Oh! I’m so relieved,” Frodo’s voice came in the dark. “I was just about to go to your room.” Sam smiled, moving into the dark room. “But it’s so cold,” Frodo whispered apologetically. He heard the rustle of blankets being pulled back. “Come on! Hurry, get under the blankets.”</p><p>“Yes, sir.”</p><p>Sam had felt his way to the bed and laid down as Frodo tucked the blankets around him.</p><p>“You couldn’t sleep?” Sam asked softly.</p><p>“No,” Frodo sighed.</p><p>“We’ll get used to it,” Sam whispered.</p><p>“I hope so,” Frodo said in a small voice. They sank into silence and Sam let his eyes close. The sound of Frodo’s breath, his slight movements, settled over Sam and he felt himself relaxing. “Sam?” Frodo whispered.</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>“I can’t hear insects. It’s all city noise.” There was a note of tenseness and of being lost in Frodo’s voice. Sam opened his eyes and turned on his side. “Just like. Like Minas Tirith,” Frodo whispered.</p><p>Sam hadn’t known what to say. If this was calling back Minas Tirith for Frodo, then it might be calling back all sorts of things that made sleep impossible. Sam didn’t feel equipped to ease those kinds of anxieties.</p><p>“The insects are there,” he said softly. “We’re in the Shire. There’s always insects and cows lowing and all the rest. And city noises? Aye, maybe, but it’s hobbit noises you’re hearing. Ponies on cobblestones and street washers and folks wandering back home from the pub singing with their friends. It’s the sounds of our home.”</p><p>“It’s different,” Frodo murmured, but the tenseness in his voice was gone. Sam blinked slowly, though it was so dark it made no difference. So he let himself show what he was feeling, all the tenderness, all the love in his heart was on display in his expression.</p><p>“You want crickets and katydids?”</p><p>“Yes,” Frodo whispered.</p><p>“I’ll plant you a garden in the back,” Sam said, “and make a proper little home for some night singers.”</p><p>“You are so good to me.”</p><p>“Well,” Sam sighed, “I love you so. I want you to be happy. Do all I can to give you peace.” He felt Frodo put an arm around him, draw him close. Sam put his arm around Frodo as well.</p><p>“I love you too,” Frodo whispered. “And if there is anything you need, please tell me. Please. I mean it.”</p><p>“I will,” Sam whispered, “promise.” They lay together, and the warmth of Frodo’s embrace began to lull him into sleep. “Listen with me,” he managed. “There’s crickets, under all the city noise.”</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>“There are,” Sam was talking even as he fell asleep. “ Listen with me?”</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>“Hear them?” Sam whispered.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Sam had given his head a sleepy kiss and Frodo had curled closer. Sam had fallen asleep then, but even now the memory warmed him.</p><p>Now as Sam lay, once more with Frodo curled up with him, he listened for the night noises. There were no crickets in this cold, but in Rivendell there was always the sound of wind, and hidden deep in that sound was Elf song. Sam could hear it sometimes, and it eased his heart and made him sleepy when he did. He was catching hints of it now. Slowly he felt his thoughts drift away and sleep finally found him.</p><p>§</p><p>The next morning Sam and Frodo were walking in the gardens. The morning was very sunny though still cold, so they’d bundled up for their walk. Sam was crouched down in the berry bushes, peering at their thin stalks. There were no berries, but they’d had pies made from berries that had been canned the previous summer, and Frodo had fallen in love with the flavor. Sam had then vowed to bring back berry bushes with them. He’d even had the courage to go ask Elrond. He brightened and stood up, turning to Frodo.</p><p>“Mr. Elrond said he’d give me a few young plants. These must be a few seasons old. I’d have to find some place sunny like this for them, and Mr. Elrond said they must be planted near each other, with a few varieties for them to produce. He’s got some started in his green house,” Sam said, “I can’t wait to get them in at Bag End.”</p><p>“Not in Michel Delving?” Frodo asked, peering at them.</p><p>“No, they won’t fare well in a container. And I…” Sam trailed off as he lifted his head and was caught in Galadriel's gaze. She was seated on the wall above them, studying them. Sam heard Frodo draw in a startled breath.</p><p>“Good morning,” Frodo called. Sam stepped a little closer to him, grateful that Frodo had greeted her.</p><p>“Sam, come up here,” Galadriel said. “I need a word with you.” Sam blinked. He glanced at Frodo then back up at Galadriel.</p><p>“Yes, Lady,” he said and began making his way up the steps. Frodo hesitated, then followed after.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Frodo,” Galadriel called down. “I need a private word with Samwise.”</p><p>“Oh,” Frodo stopped, stunned. She smiled at him.</p><p>“I won’t keep him long,” she promised. Frodo went red and nodded wordlessly. He sent Sam another look, then retreated toward the column lined walkway that snaked through the garden. Sam mounted the steps and climbed up to the top of the wall. Galadriel had moved to a bower and taken a seat. Sam drew near and then sat at her feet. She gazed at him.</p><p>“You plan to bring blueberries home to your Shire?” she asked him. Sam could feel his cheeks warming. He nodded. “Good. I have many in my garden. Have you tasted any off the bush, or only those baked and preserved?”</p><p>“Baked and preserved,” Sam said.</p><p>“They are exquisite off the bush. And your bushes will be very fruitful.”</p><p>“Thank you. I hope so,” Sam said, “I should like to bring a basket full to Frodo for breakfast.” Galadriel smiled and peered at him.</p><p>“I saw the love you had for him when I looked into your heart that time in my own land. Do you remember?”</p><p>“Yes, Lady.”</p><p>“And then at my mirror, your love for him stood against my test,” she said. Sam stayed quiet. He remembered that too- how she had shown him a vision of bad thing happening in the Shire- he’d seen his own father turned out of his home. And yet he had not abandoned Frodo or his task. “That love has accomplished much,” Galadriel said quietly, “and I admire it greatly. But it is not love that grants one a place in the Undying Lands.” Sam went very still. He wanted to tremble, but he held himself still and gazed up at her. “Mortals and immortals who pass that way, that passage is bought by grief. Do you understand?” she asked. Sam considered her.</p><p>“I don’t know if I do,” he said.</p><p>“Perhaps not,” she said gently, “but I think your heart does.”</p><p>Sam stayed quiet, not sure what to say. Galadriel reached into her robes and drew out a small box, just like the one she’d given him in Lothlorien.</p><p>“This is for you,” she said and held it out. Sam could feel himself shaking as he leaned forward and took the box. He looked up at her, afraid, but her eyes were gentle. Sam opened the little box and stared at the white sparkling crystal necklace inside. He looked up at her and now he couldn’t stop himself from trembling.</p><p>“You will not be parted from Frodo,” Galadriel said. Sam felt tears come then. He almost rushed forward and hugged her, but held himself in check. Galadriel though, saw what he needed. She moved close and knelt, drawing Sam into an embrace. Sam gasped and hugged her, his throat tight as tears rolled down his cheeks.</p><p>“Thank you,” he managed to whisper. Galadriel bent and kissed his head, then rose and took her seat once more.</p><p>“Be at peace,” she said and smiled at him. Sam smiled back, trying to calm himself. “Would you like me to tell you about my garden?” she asked. It was such a kindness, designed to help him regain his composure. Sam felt himself light up inside with a warm glow.</p><p>“Please,” he breathed.</p><p>Galadriel spoke to him then about her garden and how she tended her plants and Sam sank into her words. She spoke for some time, but afterwards Sam couldn’t seem to recall it very well. But even so, he felt the knowledge of growing living things burning within him.</p><p>When he’d calmed and Galadriel had spoken her piece they both rose, leaving the wall. They parted at the bottom of the steps, and Sam bowed very low.</p><p>“I haven’t the words, but thank you,” he said. “Thank you.”</p><p>Galadriel turned to him and set her hand on his head.</p><p>“Be well, Sam Gamgee,” she said and turned away, leaving him at the bottom of the stairs. Sam paused another moment, then moved off through the garden, walking toward the path where he’d seen Frodo last.</p><p>He walked down a set of steps and through an arch into the hallway, numb. He turned but stopped when he saw Frodo seated in one of the windows. Frodo froze at his appearance, then slipped down, stepping closer slowly at first, then rushing to him. Frodo clasped his shoulders and gave him a questioning look. Sam opened the box, unable to speak. Frodo stared at the jewel, and slowly his hand rose to cover his mouth.</p><p>They fell into each other’s arms then. Frodo was crying and just that quick, Sam’s tears returned. They held one another, shaking and moved beyond words.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Drawing Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“He’s going to like it,” Sam said. Frodo looked up. It was a bit after midday and they’d met up in their room for a break. Frodo was cradling a small metal trowel in his hands, laying in a handkerchief.</p><p>“It just seems like,” Frodo winced, “like it’s very impersonal, for this sort of thing.”</p><p>Sam considered this and took a seat beside him.</p><p>“I don’t think so,” he said. “It’s of your own making- you went to the forge and made it after all.”</p><p>“With a lot of help from Gimli and Glóin.”</p><p>“Well. That’s alright,” Sam soothed. “Anyway, you carved the handle too, and it’s fine work.”</p><p>“And without any slips of the knife, you mean.”</p><p>“That yes,” Sam sighed. Frodo knew that Sam had worried a bit about that. “But also it’s got a good balance to it. Feels good in the hand. Dad will notice that right off. You’ve done a beautiful job.”</p><p>“Even so, maybe I should do something else,” Frodo mused softly. “I could cook dinner?”</p><p>“Well, my Dad won’t say no to that,” Sam told him, leaning back, “but whatever you do, he’ll like it. Don’t worry so.”</p><p>“I said I’d go and see him this afternoon,” Frodo said quietly, “maybe I’ll hit on some inspiration.”</p><p>§</p><p>Around four, Frodo went to Hamfast’s room and walked with him to an out of the way table tucked in a nook overlooking the garden. Frodo had asked the Elves to prepare a tea tray and when they arrived there was a generous spread waiting for them. Besides a steaming pot of tea there was milk, sugar, buns, as well as half a duck, a savory soup and berry pie. The Elves were still a little uncertain about which foods hobbits thought of as appropriate for tea, when it came down to it, but they did their best. Their generosity usually meant they were inclined to include anything they had on hand and hope for the best.</p><p>Hamfast gazed at the small feast, taking a seat across from Frodo.</p><p>“Ah, is this the Gift?” he asked. Frodo gasped a little.</p><p>“No,” he said, “I’m sorry, not just yet... I… Ah. No, this is just tea.”</p><p>“Oh dear, I’m sorry, lad,” Ham said kindly, “I didn’t mean to go making like I was rushing you.” He laughed, “but just you know my blessing is waiting for you when you do get ready.”</p><p>“Sir, that’s not how it’s supposed to work,” Frodo said weakly.</p><p>“Well maybe not, but you know I trusted Sam to you a long time ago,” Ham said, turning over a tea cup and pouring himself a cup. Frodo lifted his gaze and smiled faintly. “Before your journey, when Sam came to me and said you were going to Buckland and had asked him to come, Well I could see he was lying. Bless him, but poor Sam isn’t very good at it.”</p><p>“Maybe to you,” Frodo chuckled. “He’s fooled me a few times.” He sobered, pouring himself some tea. “I’m sorry we lied to you.”</p><p>“That’s alright,” Hamfast said quietly, “Sam explained it when he come back. I don’t understand it all, but I do see it was needed to keep you safe and to do the job the pair of you set out to do.”</p><p>“Yes, sir.”</p><p>“But I was unsettled back then. Didn’t know why Sam was lying to me, nor why you were lying to everyone.”</p><p>Frodo stayed silent, sipping his tea. This, he realized, was something they should have had out a while ago. Hamfast was doing the hard work of bringing it up now.</p><p>“I had more than one gardener friend tell me to forbid Sam going off to Buckland,” Hamfast continued, “It was putting him in a vulnerable position- out there all alone with strangers and strange folk. No family or friends to look out for him.”</p><p>Frodo squeezed his hands around the tea cup. He met Hamfast’s gaze and listened, choosing not to interrupt.</p><p>“But I told them all no- he had <em>you</em>. You would look out for him and see he was happy and taken care of. And Samwise makes friends fairly easy. He’d be alright, I thought, long as you were with him.”</p><p>Still Frodo listened. He was deeply touched, but he didn’t want to speak just yet. It wasn’t often that Sam’s father spoke at length on serious things like this.</p><p>“Even though I was worried about the lying, I told myself he’d be alright. You both would.” Ham paused. “But then, you both disappeared. And there were times I bitterly regretted not pressing Sam, regretted not going up to Bag End and demand you tell me what you were up to. Folk come and told me I’d never see Sam again. Mad Baggins spirited him off into the Blue. I was very angry at you.”</p><p>“As you should be,” Frodo said.</p><p>“No," Ham waved, "It was Sam’s choice and I’ve learned there’s no sense in trying to stop him when he’s set on something. I’d reckon you may have found the same.”</p><p>“... Yes.”</p><p>“And you brought him back,” Ham said. “You protected him against the worst the world has to offer and you brought my child back.” Frodo could feel his heart beating.</p><p>“He did much more for me than I did for him.”</p><p>Hamfast laughed.</p><p>“Sam said you’d say that! He said not to believe it.”</p><p>Frodo shook his head smiling.</p><p>“Sam can win arguments when he’s not even here, I see.”</p><p>“He’s clever like that.”</p><p>Their talk eased after that and they enjoyed the little feast. Hamfast began telling Frodo stories of the Gamgee forebearers and they spent several hours in happy conversation.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo left Hamfast at his room and promised that he and Sam would meet him for dinner. With that, he headed for the kitchens and spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening cooking familiar hobbit dishes. It was made easier by the fact that the Brandybucks had brought a large amount of hobbit ingredients with them- unimpressed by the idea of Elvish cooking.</p><p>And so Frodo had his pick of Buckland Buttons, Shire Crimini, savory wood blewits, and the Gaffer’s favorite: Hen-of-the-woods. Frodo selected a variety of shrooms but made sure to include a generous helping of hen-of-the-woods and sliced them and cooked them with garlic, shallots, and rich Buckland butter. They were the chief ingredient in his creamy mushroom and garlic pasta.</p><p>By the time he was finished, Frodo his pasta, thin lemony potato wedges, roasted river fish, creamy spinach soup, baked asparagus tips, and blueberry tarts.</p><p>Several of Frodo’s distant Brandybuck cousins helped plate it all and offered to keep it warm and serve it when they arrived in the hall. Frodo thanked them and rushed off, back to his room to wash up and change, collect Sam and collect Hamfast.</p><p>They brought Hamfast to the Great Hall and sat him down at a place of honor near the fire and began the meal.</p><p>“I’ve never tasted the like,” Hamfast said, sampling each of the dishes, “it’s very well done, lad.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Frodo said, very pleased.</p><p>When dinner was finished and they were sipping beer comfortably, Frodo took out the carefully wrapped trowel and rose, going to Sam’s father.</p><p>“Sir,” he said quietly, “I have a Gift for you.” Hamfast gazed up at him and took the little bundle.</p><p>“A trowel,” Hamfast exclaimed softly, taking it out of its wrapping and holding it.</p><p>“I hope that it may be useful,” Frodo said, his nerves rising. “I know that you must have many like it, but it is a gift from my heart.” Hamfast looked up.</p><p>“Ah. And that is why I don’t have none like it,” he said. “It's a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. I’ll see that it gets use, and I do really like it, lad.”</p><p>“He made it, Da,” Sam said, his voice warm. “Every bit of it too. Went to the forge and learned how from his Dwarf relations. And he carved the handle too.”</p><p>“Well now,” Hamfast said, impressed and raised a hand. “Come, sit down here,” he said, offering Frodo a place beside him on the bench. Frodo sat. He was shaking. Hamfast looked at him kindly and placed a gentle hand on Frodo’s head.</p><p>“I bless you, Frodo Baggins and I bless your marriage with my Samwise. May you be happy together. May your gardens always be bountiful, may you be blessed with a loving family, long lives together, and joy for the rest of your days.”</p><p>Frodo stilled and gazed back.</p><p>“Thank you,” he breathed.</p><p>“And may you both keep looking out for each other,” Hamfast smiled, lowering his hand. Frodo smiled.</p><p>“Oh always,” he said.</p><p>§</p><p>The days slid by in a blur of good company and cheer, and soon the cold clear days of late winter relented, and the first hints of green began to appear in the valley, along with a few early blooms. The wedding feast was well in hand, and the Elves had decorated a lovely place at the top of a set of stairs in the garden to hold the ceremony.</p><p>Frodo and Sam were each busy with preparations. It seemed that all of their visitors wanted to contribute in some way. The Brandybucks were busy preparing a feast, working with the Elvish cooks; the Tooks had brought instruments and were rehearsing and deciding on music for the dances; Eowyn and Faramir had pledged themselves as attendants- a Mannish tradition in which the attendants take care of the person to be wed for the entire week leading up to the wedding- whether it is bringing them favorite foods, or taking care of duties they are too busy to see to, or just keeping them company. Faramir took very good care of Frodo during this time, and Eowyn cared for Sam.</p><p>The Dwarves had their own solemn preparations. Each night, Frodo and Sam went to Glóin's rooms where they sat with Glóin and Gimli and studied. If they were to be Sons of Durin, then they felt it was important to learn what they could of that culture.</p><p>Before Frodo knew it, the days had gone on until it was the day before the wedding. Most of the preparations were done, so in the early afternoon, Frodo went to find Merry in the wing where the Brandybucks had been quartered.</p><p>He found him wandering the halls, looking exhausted.</p><p>“How are you?” Frodo asked, as he approached. Merry turned to him and sighed.</p><p>“Alright,” Merry whispered and slipped his hand into Frodo’s. “Very tired.” Frodo stroked Merry’s hair.</p><p>“Have you been working yourself over the wedding?” Frodo asked, ready to scold him. Merry closed his eyes and shook his head.</p><p>“Come, let’s go into the garden. I’ll tell you about it,” he said. They went out and down the steps into the courtyard garden and walked a long ways until they were near the River.</p><p>“It’s my mother,” Merry said, “she’s being a bit difficult. Making remarks to the other Brandybucks about my wound, trying to get Mr. Darioc, the healer, to look at it.”</p><p>“I suppose she means well.”</p><p>“She does. But even so,” Merry sighed.</p><p>“As bad as that?”</p><p>“She doesn’t understand. She’s grateful that you made me feel cared for but she doesn’t believe you actually did anything to help me in any way. She still thinks I could have been healed in Buckland.”</p><p>“And she blames me,” Frodo said quietly. Merry closed his eyes and pulled Frodo into a rough hug. Frodo held him. “It’s alright. It is my fault.”</p><p>“What are you talking about,” Merry growled at him.</p><p>“If you’d never left with me in the first place.”</p><p>“Oh <em>Frodo</em>!”</p><p>“Alright,” Frodo breathed. “Listen, I’ve stood worse than Brandybuck scorn. Don’t feel bad for me. I’m more concerned with how you are treated.”</p><p>“I’ve tried explaining over and over just how much you did for me- how you saved my life- but she,” he blinked as if just hearing what Frodo had said. “Me? How I’m treated? She’s not angry at me.”</p><p>“But she’s treating you like you a foolish child who was very stupid for trusting me. That can’t feel good.”</p><p>“Oh. Well. No,” Merry admitted. “But I suppose I’m used to that.” Frodo sighed and held Merry closer.</p><p>“This is unbearable. I’m going to do something about it. Even if it’s kidnapping you again to come and live in the Shire,” Frodo said. Merry hugged him back.</p><p>“You are a dear. And I’m so happy I can rely on you always. But this is for me to solve. And I will solve it.”</p><p>“I’ll help you anyway I can. Just say the word.”</p><p>Merry kissed his cheek.</p><p>“Thank you,” he whispered. They stood together a moment more before Merry drew back. “Ah enough! Come on! I’m supposed to be working on your hair.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>Merry stood up straight, raising his eyebrows.</p><p>“That’s right,” he sniffed, “I’m not going to let shitty Brandybucks sit in the crowd and made rude comments about your hair being fluffy and untamed for such an occasion.”</p><p>“I wasn’t aware there was anything wrong with my hair,” Frodo chuckled. “I <em>will</em> brush it.”</p><p>“Oh with an Elvish brush?” Merry looked scandalized, “you’ll break your curls and make it worse, you silly Baggins. Come on, I’m in charge of this. I’ve decided.”</p><p>“If you say so,” Frodo laughed.</p><p>§</p><p>“Are you certain you’ve got the right oils?” Frodo asked, lazying in the warm water as Merry washed his hair.</p><p>“They call it almond oil and it seems to be similar to what we’re used to at home,” Merry said. Frodo closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Merry’s fingers against his scalp. “No hair cream I’m afraid but at least we’ve the water and oil.”</p><p>“Mm. I’m blaming you if my hair is a mess.”</p><p>“Listen, I have been experimenting. Your hair’s texture is fairly similar to Pippin’s. It makes his hair curl very nicely.”</p><p>“Mmm,” Frodo sighed. Merry was working the silky suds into his hair. “And what’s this? It smells nice.”</p><p>“I don’t know exactly. I raided a few bath houses and found this stuff. It’s the only shampoo I’ve found here that doesn’t strip hobbit hair and make it frizz.</p><p>“Will you do Sam’s hair?”</p><p>“Yes if he wants.”</p><p>“It’s finer than mine,” Frodo smiled, eyes still closed. “And you’ll have to ask him I’m afraid.”</p><p>“I know and I know,” Merry chuckled.</p><p>They finished up and dressed, going back to Frodo and Sam’s room, where they found Sam seated by the window having tea. He greeted them as they entered, glancing at Frodo’s towel wrapped head.</p><p>“Merry’s been very sweet and washed my hair,” Frodo said, taking a seat beside him. “He claims that he’s found a way to make my hair curl instead of fluff.”</p><p>“These Elvish tonics are rum for hobbit hair,” Sam agreed, “but your hair is pretty either way.” Frodo leaned against his shoulder, pressing his cheek to Sam’s neck.</p><p>“Sweet,” he murmured, “but really, I am very grateful to you Merry. Now then, how about you Sam?"</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Yes, your hair isn’t as curly as mine, but it could still benefit from Merry’s work I think.”</p><p>“Hm.”</p><p>“Will you let me wash your hair?” Merry asked, taking a seat across from them.</p><p>“He’s very keen,” Frodo smiled, “and he’s done a good job with mine.”</p><p>“The Master of Buckland washing a gardener’s hair?” Sam said with only a little tease in his voice.</p><p>“The future Master of Buckland, washing the hair of one of the Shire’s greatest heroes and also the Deputy Mayor,” Merry countered.</p><p>“Hero of the Shire is subjective,” Sam said, holding up a hand, “and Deputy Mayor? Well, that’s a secular elected position, while the Master-”</p><p>“Oh my lord, Samwise,” Merry cried, “Don’t quote the Shire’s Rules to me!”</p><p>“You started it, sir.”</p><p>A horn call came echoing faintly from outside. Merry stood and went to the window frowning.</p><p>“Are the Elves hunting?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“They don’t use horns though,” Sam said, puzzled, “do they?”</p><p>“Maybe Faramir is playing some game,” Frodo laughed. “Or Pippin. Did he run off with your horn Merry?”</p><p>“My horn is in Buckland,” Merry said quietly, still staring out the window, “and besides, that’s not the call of a horn from Rohan.”</p><p>“No? Then-”</p><p>The horn sounded again, louder this time.</p><p>“It’s a heralding call,” Merry said, breathlessly, “a heralding call from a horn of Gondor.”</p><p>All three were silent, staring at one another with wide eyes. Frodo jumped up and Sam just behind him. They all ran out into the hall and down toward the courtyard.</p>
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<a name="section0048"><h2>48. A Night of Blessings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This last chapter got so long I've split it into two, but it's all posted now! Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frodo came to the railing and stared down into the courtyard.</p><p>A company of Men riding on gray horses entered, trumpets sounding in announcement. The horses stamped on the stone cobbles, filling the courtyard with the sound of their hooves.</p><p>The company parted and two riders came forward, riding side by side. Even at this distance Frodo could see that it was Aragorn and Arwen.</p><p>Frodo covered his mouth then ran down the steps, Sam and Merry at his side. Before them was gathered a crowd of hobbits, who had come out from their rooms and carts to watch the Men; and there were many Elves toward the front, standing to greet the arriving company.</p><p>Merry moved ahead, pushing hobbits and Elves aside to make way for Frodo and Sam. Pippin appeared before them, helping Merry move the crowd. He sent Frodo a grin.</p><p>A path opened and Frodo and Sam stepped out in front of the crowd, staring up into the faces of the King and Queen of Gondor.</p><p>They stilled, standing close together, both hesitating to approach. Aragorn smiled broadly and slipped down from his mount, rushing forward, and dropping to throw his arms around them.</p><p>“My friends!” he cried, holding them tight. Frodo hugged back, breathless and happy.</p><p>“Did you come all the way from Gondor?” Sam asked in wonder. Aragorn drew back and gazed at Sam solemnly.</p><p>“I did indeed, Sam.”</p><p>Sam smiled and glanced at Frodo.</p><p>“Our joy is complete with you here,” Frodo said.</p><p>“As is my own joy,” Aragorn said, “I have not been able to stop smiling, ever since I heard the news.” He paused, “Oh my friends, I am so happy for you.”</p><p>“Thank you! And thank you for coming,” Sam said, “it’s an awful long way with mountains and everything.”</p><p>“And we know you’re so busy. We would have understood,” Frodo added.</p><p>“I would not miss this,” Aragorn said. “Never this.” He rose, and glanced beyond them to the crowd of Elves and Dwarves and Hobbits, watching him and his party.</p><p>“Gondor has come to pay it’s respect and to celebrate the Union of two hobbits of the Shire who saved us all.”</p><p>“Frodo is from Buckland,” said a hobbit voice just a little too loudly to be polite. Aragorn paused and gazed down at Frodo.</p><p>“Have I made a mistake?” he asked. Frodo laughed loudly and turned to his family.</p><p>“I love Buckland very dearly, but I must point out, dear Brandybucks, I was born in the Shire, I live in the Shire, and I am Mayor of the Shire. And don’t interrupt! This is the King of Gondor for pity’s sake!” he raised a hand, “And my very dear friend!” he added. There was cheering and clapping from the hobbits, mostly from the Took side.</p><p>“And may I present, my Queen,” Aragorn called, holding his hand out. Arwen, who had dismounted, came forward and took his hand. “Light of my soul and light of her People. We greet you all.”</p><p>“And we welcome you.”</p><p>Frodo turned to see Elrond at the top of the steps, coming down. Behind him was Gandalf..</p><p>They greeted Aragorn and Arwen and Elves began to move forward, offering the Men greetings and taking their baggage and leading the horses away to be stabled. Elrond took Arwen’s hands in his and spoke to her in Sindarin, while Gandalf hugged Aragorn.</p><p>Legolas and Gimli were brought to the front by Merry and Pippin. Upon seeing them Aragorn let out a cry of joy and rushed to Legolas, hugging him, then dropping down to hug Gimli and the hobbits.</p><p>Frodo watched, warmed by it, and leaned into Sam’s side. Sam put his arms around Frodo.</p><p>§</p><p>That night there was a feast prepared by Elves and Dwarves. Frodo sat with Merry and Sam and Aragorn, while Bilbo, Hamfast, Gimli and Pippin sat across from them.</p><p>“You know,” Aragorn said, his voice teasing a little, “in the Mannish traditions you must not set eyes upon each other on the night before your wedding.”</p><p>“Ah. Good thing they’re hobbits then,” Pippin sniffed.</p><p>“We think it’s very bad luck not to eat a full set of meals together before the wedding,” Frodo said. Sam chuckled.</p><p>“We think it’s bad luck not sharing meals in general though,” he said.</p><p>“Frodo and Sam have earned all the good luck in the world, never mind little traditions,” Merry smiled.</p><p>“We’ve certainly had a lot of good luck,” Frodo said mildly.</p><p>“You’ve needed it though,” Bilbo said, reaching across to straighten Frodo’s jacket. “You're missing a button, lad!”</p><p>“Heavens, and in front of the King,” Frodo sent Aragorn a smile. Hamfast leaned over.</p><p>“Now Mr. Bilbo don’t fuss.”</p><p>“Oh very well,” Bilbo relented with no further prodding. Aragorn smiled, but his smile had turned sad.</p><p>“You all have needed your hobbit luck, after this business.” He turned to Merry. “I must offer my apologies to you. I could not stop the evil that sought you.”</p><p>“But you did get aid to us,” Merry said gently. Aragorn nodded, though he still looked uneasy.</p><p>“We would not have got through it without the Prince and Princess of Ithilien,” Frodo added. “We were in a desperate situation when they found us. I was riding out into the Wild with three sick hobbits, pursued by bandits as well as Riders, and I was terrified.”</p><p>“Here lad, you never said aught of bandits,” Hamfast whispered to his son. Sam looked sheepish.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Da.”</p><p>“Sam saved me from them,” Pippin said quietly to Hamfast. Sam went red.</p><p>“Give me the story later, Mr. Pippin. He’s gone shy.”</p><p>“Certainly.”</p><p>“I regret,” Aragorn was saying to Merry and Frodo, “that you were all in that position. But it eases my heart that Prince Faramir and Princess Éowyn found you and gave you such aid.”</p><p>“I know that your heart told you to ride to us,” Merry said quietly. “And I know why you couldn’t. Don’t feel badly, my friend.”</p><p>Aragorn smiled.</p><p>“I could only find comfort that Faramir and Eowyn were the ones going. I could not bear for you all to be in peril, but I have learned to trust in love.” He smiled, adding, “and to trust in the resiliency of hobbits.”</p><p>Merry smiled and put his arms around Frodo.</p><p>“I have learned to trust in Frodo.”</p><p>Frodo smiled and hugged Merry.</p><p>Aragorn took a sip of his drink, then rose, going to the fire. He turned back and faced Frodo and Sam, gazing at them. He raised his glass.</p><p>“A toast to you both,” he said. “The task charged to our Fellowship may be passed but our love and devotion for one another - and our love for you, Frodo and you, Sam - will never fade.</p><p>“Those of us who walked that hard road with you, even but for a little while, saw the strength of the love between the two of you. And though our Fellowship was broken at the water’s of the <span class="aCOpRe">Anduin</span>, and our hearts grieved for all that was lost that day, the one comfort we held in our hearts was that Sam followed Frodo. The two of you went on together.”</p><p>Aragorn smiled and stepped closer. The group around them had fallen silent, listening to the King.</p><p>“You had our blessings on that day,” Aragorn continued, glancing out across the group, “and you have our blessings now. Frodo and Sam are together once more, stronger together always, and our hearts are once again comforted. We raise our glasses to your health, to your happiness, and to your love. ”</p><p>He raised his glass, and all those seated around them raised their glasses as well. Frodo watched the color rise in Sam’s cheeks.</p><p>“To Frodo and Sam!” Merry called. There was an answering cry from around the hall. The voices of Dwarves rose then and called,</p><p>“Peacebringers! Strong hearts! Wraithsbane!”</p><p>There were more cheers and Frodo could feel the heat in his own cheeks. He smiled and leaned into Merry’s side as Merry put an arm around his back. Aragorn drew near to the table but did not take his seat.</p><p>“Both of you,” he said to Frodo and Sam, “your Fellowship stands ready to give you aid and blessing. This is true for those present and I believe also for our member who is not here.” Frodo sat up.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said, “I believe that too. And it means the world to us.” He paused a moment, before lifting his gaze once more, “In a hobbit wedding,” he said softly, “those being married are escorted by their closest friends to the place where the ceremony will take place. I wonder if I might ask the Fellowship to act as escort to Sam and to me. And in the place left empty by our dear Boromir, could I ask that his brother fill that place? For Prince Faramir has also been in a position to guard me and Sam and has saved our lives a few times now.” Frodo turned to Faramir. “I hope that I am not asking something awkward. You can say so.”</p><p>“No, not awkward,” Faramir breathed. He bowed. “I would be honored.”</p><p>Aragorn then drew near and knelt before Frodo, setting a hand to his head.</p><p>“I bless you,” he smiled, “if the blessing of a Mannish King holds power over a hobbit, that is.”</p><p>“It does, I think,” Frodo smiled, “as does the blessing of a friend.”</p><p>Aragorn leaned forward and kissed Frodo’s forehead, then rose and went to Sam, kneeling before him as well.</p><p>“I bless you, Sam. If you will accept the blessing of a once scraggly Ranger.”</p><p>“Ah well,” Sam smiled shy, “I will of course, if you can forgive a silly hobbit for speaking against a scraggly Ranger. You never did give me cause to give you more than hard words.” Aragorn laughed.</p><p>“And I never held any of it against you at all,” he said and kissed Sam’s head as well, and was about to draw away when Pippin slipped close to press in beside Sam. He gave Aragorn an expectant look.</p><p>“Do you want a kiss as well, Pippin?”</p><p>“Of course,” Pippin said. Aragorn let out a happy laugh and a bit of Strider showed through.</p><p>“Pip!” Merry hissed, but Pippin and Aragorn paid him no mind.</p><p>“I bless you, Pippin!” Aragorn said, “May you ever bring joy to those around you, and may your spirit remain forever wild and loving.” He grasped Pippin and kissed his forehead fondly. “Merry!” Aragorn called. “I won’t leave you out!”</p><p>“Oh dear,” Merry said under his breath, but Aragorn had already risen and come back around to their end of the table. He knelt and set a hand on Merry’s head.</p><p>“I bless you, Merry,” he said, “and I bless you as King and Healer. May you be ever strong, ever brave, and ever resilient against all darkness.” He leaned in and Merry bowed his head as Aragorn kissed him.</p><p>§</p><p>That night after they’d gone to bed, Frodo opened his eyes and felt Sam turn over once more, wriggling a little as he tried again to get comfortable. Frodo smiled.</p><p>“Are you having a hard time getting to sleep?” he asked. Sam sighed.</p><p>“Sorry, don’t mean to keep you up.”</p><p>“I wonder if either of us will get any sleep.”</p><p>“I hope we do. I don’t want to stumble through any of it,” Sam said sounding dismayed. Frodo curled closer.</p><p>“What makes you sleepy?” He asked. Sam was silent for a moment, then turned over and Frodo caught a glimpse of his smile in the moonlight.</p><p>“There’s, ah. There’s one thing.”</p><p>“Yes?” Frodo whispered, slipping his arms around Sam. Sam hummed softly and kissed him. Frodo sighed happily and kissed back, pressing against him.</p>
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<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Days of Joy Ahead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morning light poured down over them as they soaked in warm waters in the bath house. Merry poured clean water through Sam’s hair, running his fingers through his curls to rinse the shampoo away. Sam’s eyes were closed and he was relaxed. Pippin was in the bath next to him, scrubbing his back. Merry had been working in warm silence, and thinking. There were things he felt he should say, but he couldn’t find the words, and the words he could find seemed flat and small compared to what was in his heart.</p><p>
  <em>I know you’ll take care of him. I’m so happy for you. Thank you for all that you do for him. </em>
</p><p>Merry sighed a little as he poured another tonic into his hand. Sam opened his eyes and gazed up at Merry, and Merry’s worries fell away. From that look alone, Merry saw that Sam loved him and understood. Merry took a breath and took up his work once more. He could feel Pippin watching him and he glanced at his cousin. Pippin peered back, silent for a moment, then he began to sing.</p><p>It was Bilbo’s bath song, and as he sang, Sam joined in. Pippin let his voice slip down to compliment Sam’s. Merry listened to them, his heart full, before he joined their song.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo stood in a dressing room, gazing at himself in the mirror. He smiled a little, remembering back to the time he’d done the same thing after waking in Rivendell at long last. Once more he was changed.</p><p>He bore more scars and carried more hurts. Carefully, he let himself feel just how much he’d lost, including the hardest loss- the Ring. Tears welled in his eyes and fell down his cheeks and he shook, but even as he did, there was a feeling of catharsis. He could face that loss. He could face it because his strength was growing and too, he’d gained so much.</p><p>His loss eased and now he sank into the love he’d found in his heart for Sam. It was deep and grounding and beautiful. Frodo lifted his eyes again to the mirror and saw the room behind him illuminated for a moment before it faded away. Frodo stood still, then smiled to himself.</p><p>He slipped on his undergarments, feeling his joy solidify into a warm solid happiness that filled his heart.</p><p>Not long after, Bilbo, Gimli, and Glóin came to his room and helped him dress in the elaborate garments he’d been gifted.</p><p>“Frodo,” Glóin said as he settled the furred cape around his shoulders, “We have a custom of wearing a certain braid during our weddings and afterwards.”</p><p>“Usually it would be your partner giving you the braids,” Gimli added, “but in cases like this when the partner doesn’t know the braiding method, it’s friends and family that do the braiding. May I give you wedding braids?”</p><p>“Of course,” Frodo said. "Perhaps you can teach me later? I’d like to honor Thorin by wearing the braids when I am among your folk. If that is alright?”</p><p>“Yes very much so,” Gimli said as he moved to Frodo’s side and began to braid the soft tuft of hair that fell in front of his ear. After a moment Bilbo stirred.</p><p>“Could I do the other one?” he asked quietly. They turned to look at him. Bilbo blinked at them.</p><p><em>Oh</em>, Frodo realized, <em>Thorin taught him.</em></p><p>“Is that alright?” Frodo asked Gimli.</p><p>“Yes,” Gimli said quietly, gazing at Bilbo. The realization must have come to him as well. Bilbo turned to Glóin.</p><p>“My friend, it has been some time. Would you watch and make sure I do this correctly?”</p><p>“Of course,” Glóin said warmly.</p><p>As they finished, Merry entered and waited, watching the delicate braids and fine beads being threaded into Frodo’s hair.</p><p>“Is Sam ready?” Frodo asked.</p><p>“He is. Pippin is taking him down to the garden to be crowned,” Merry said. Bilbo stood.</p><p>“Oh, that’s where I should be!” he said, “I’ll see you in a moment, darling,” he said and patted Frodo’s shoulder. Frodo nodded, his heart beginning to pound a little.</p><p>Gimli finished braiding and stood back, admiring his work, then his gaze moved to Frodo.</p><p>“I am so honored to be able to do this for you, my kinsmen,” he said quietly. Frodo smiled and stepped close, standing on his tiptoes to touch his forehead to Gimli’s.</p><p>“Thank you, dear kinsmen,” he said.</p><p>§</p><p>Frodo stepped outside of the alcove and walked slowly down to the garden. Merry trailed behind him, holding his long flowing cape up as they both stared out across the crowd. Frodo felt a little jolt of nerves, but Merry stepped close and set a hand to his back.</p><p>“It’s for you. You and Sam,” he whispered. “Everyone is here to love you.”</p><p>Frodo turned back and smiled at him, before turning back to take the short walk into the garden where Bilbo was waiting. Though Frodo could feel hundreds of eyes on him, he didn’t mind it now. Merry’s words comforted him, he could feel the love in the air, and also he felt beautiful.</p><p>His curls were soft and shining, thanks to Merry’s work. A delicate mithril chain piece was draped over his head, a band of sparkling diamond set in a line over his face. His ears were fitted with silver Dwarvish ear cuffs, made specially for the point of a hobbit’s ear. And his Dwarvish braids were each capped with silver beads and sapphires.</p><p>Next to his skin he wore comfortable hobbit spun under garments which kept the heavier layers from rubbing. He also wore his mithril coat and over it an Elvish embroidered silk robe dyed silver and blue with blue diamond chips woven into the embroidery. Around his shoulders were draped soft mink furs from Rohan and he wore sturdy fine linen breeches made in Gondor.</p><p>Bilbo had slipped a few good luck items into his pockets - a small volume of the Baggins family tree - which included exquisite inks of Frodo’s parents, a jewel - the lone remaining piece of treasure from Smaug’s hoard kept as a memento, and a shining golden pen - a long ago gift from Gandalf for his poem writing.</p><p>“All my little treasures go with you,” Bilbo had said quietly, “and you, my dear Frodo, the best treasure of all.” Now Frodo walked slowly over the stone garden bridge, where an offshoot of the river ran, full of fresh snow melt rushing to join the Bruinen. The sound of water was comforting but even so, Frodo kept his eyes to the path ahead. He could see a small group standing at the beginning of the flower lined walk. Hamfast and Bilbo were there; and so too were Aragorn, Legolas, Faramir, and there was Gimli coming to join them. Frodo met their gazes before some of them turned to gaze down the opposite path. Frodo followed their gaze and felt his breath leave him for a moment.</p><p>Sam and Pippin were approaching from the opposite path, Pippin holding Sam’s cape up just as Merry was doing for Frodo.</p><p>And Sam was radiant. Where Frodo’s robes were silvers and soft gentle blues, Sam wore gold and buttery rich greens. His robe was embroidered with vine and flower patterns, each flower burst with the color of small precious stones studded within the silk threads.</p><p>He wore the sparkling white jewel that Galadriel had given him and it shone at his neck when the light caught in its many facets. Below it, the mithril coat gleamed in the sunlight. His belt was tooled with intricate pony patterns crafted by an artist from Rohan, and like Frodo he wore breeches from Gondor.</p><p>Frodo and Sam both stilled where the paths met and gazed at one another in awe.</p><p>“Frodo,” Merry said softly, “come let’s crown you.” Frodo sent Sam one more look, then turned away, walking carefully to Bilbo as the Fellowship gathered around him. Merry drew Aragorn in and passed Frodo’s cape to him to hold, as Merry came around to stand beside Bilbo in front of Frodo.</p><p>Frodo faced them, trying not to tremble. They were looking at him with such love in their eyes. Merry stepped forward first and pinned a corsage to his robe, then kissed his cheek. His hand moved down and Frodo caught it for a moment, squeezing his fingers.</p><p>Then he moved back and Bilbo stepped up. Frodo knelt and held himself still as he felt Bilbo place the flower crown on his head. Slowly, he rose.</p><p>“Come Sam,” Pippin said, “and you as well.”</p><p>Frodo watched then as Sam went to his father. The crown that Hamfast held was made up of white and yellow flowers and it was expertly woven- some of Hamfast Gamgee’s finest work.</p><p>Sam knelt and Hamfast placed the crown on his head. Sam closed his eyes, then rose and faced his father and Pippin, who gazed at him. His father was crying a bit, dabbing at his eyes. Sam took his hand.</p><p>“Don’t mind me,” Hamfast whispered. Sam smiled and moved his gaze to Pippin. Pippin’s eyes were very bright.</p><p>“Sam, you’re beautiful,” Pippin whispered and kissed his cheek.</p><p>“Aye you are, lad,” Ham said quietly. Sam squeezed his hand, then released it. He took a breath and turned, meeting Frodo’s gaze. They came together, drawn to one another. They locked their hands together, spellbound and dazed. Hamfast came up from behind Sam and Sam turned, putting his free hand into his father. Frodo turned and saw that Bilbo had appeared beside him. He smiled and put his hand into Bilbo’s. Merry and Pippin were once more behind them, holding their capes, and behind them, stood the rest of the Fellowship.</p><p>Together they all walked down the flower lined wide path. On either side were crowds of hobbits, Dwarves, Elves and Men, all gazing on in fascination.</p><p>At the end of the path stood Gandalf, with Elrond and Arwen on one side and Galadriel and Éowyn on the other.</p><p>Frodo watched them as he walked. He was nervous still, but looking at Gandalf, and feeling the warmth from Bilbo’s hand and from Sam’s hand helped to calm him. It was all so beautiful and felt so right. And though they might be dressed in Elvish silks and Dwarvish mithril mail, and Mannish furs and leathers, and they might be surrounded by all the Peoples of the Alliance, this was still a hobbit wedding. The rhythm, the joy, the peace of it made Frodo feel that he had a foot still in Shire soil. Home was blooming in his heart.</p><p>They came to a halt at the end of the walk and Bilbo kissed his cheek and drew away. Hamfast did the same with Sam, stepping back. They were taken to seats nearby, while Merry and Pippin and the rest of the Fellowship, moved back and stood in a line along the path, so that Frodo and Sam stood alone now before Gandalf and the others. Gandalf smiled at them.</p><p>“My dear Frodo and my dear Sam,” he said to them, then lifted his face and addressed the crowd. “We have gathered here to witness the joining of two lives that have long been intertwined, but now those bonds of love have drawn closer and borne something new. It is an honor to see it and it is a hard fought thing, and we must not fail to recognize how rare, how remarkable, and how beautiful this joining is.</p><p>“Frodo and Sam have saved us all with their love, and they have saved each other, again and again. Now as they embark on a life together in wedlock I pray that their love will not be tested in quite those dire ways, but even so, I know that the strength of their love will not waver, no matter the hardships that they may face. And so now, let us act all as witnesses to this blessed union.”</p><p>He paused and drew his hands together, peering at Frodo.</p><p>“Now, give your vow, Frodo,” Gandalf said softly. Frodo turned to Sam, taking his hand.</p><p>“I take thee, Samwise,” he said, his voice soft and quiet at first, then growing stronger, “to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and thereto I plight thee my troth.”</p><p>Sam held himself still, though Frodo could see he was trying not to shake.</p><p>“And Sam?” Gandalf prompted softly. Sam took a breath, and when he spoke, his voice was steady and warm.</p><p>“I take thee, Frodo, to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and thereto I plight thee my troth.”</p><p>Frodo clasped his hand tightly.</p><p>“Very good,” Gandalf murmured, then louder he said, “and the oath?” Frodo and Sam stepped close, holding both hands now, facing one another and they spoke together.</p><p>“With this oath I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.”</p><p>“Then by all that is good,” Gandalf said, his voice raising, “by all that is joyful, and by the power vested in me,” Gandalf said, “I declare you wed. You are as husbands. Go forth knowing that you are loved and blessed by those present and by those absent. Go forth to joyful lives lived in happy companionship. You may seal this declaration with a sign of your love.”</p><p>Frodo and Sam turned back to one another. Sam’s eyes were wide and he was crying a little as he stepped close. Frodo drew him closer and they held one another for a moment, then they leaned in, meeting in a kiss.</p><p>The hobbits began to clap and cheer and the Tooks began to play. As soon as the Dwarves understood that this was a time to call out, they took up the cheer, calling out blessings and ringing handbells. There were horn blasts from the Men of Gondor and from Faramir and Éowyn who stood nearby, blowing their horns.</p><p>The Elves began a song and around them, all of the trees and bushes suddenly lit bright in golden light.</p><p>Sam and Frodo parted and looked around them, amazed by the spectacle.</p><p>“A bit of Elvish magic for you,” Frodo said in Sam’s ear. Sam turned to him and was about to answer when three shrieking fireworks shot up and exploded far overhead. Even though it was daylight, the rockets burst into bright gold and silver and white sparks that drew together into a spinning luminous flower that bloomed in midair.</p><p>“A bit of wizard magic for you,” Sam said in Frodo’s ear. Frodo grasped him and drew him back into a joyful kiss.</p><p>§</p><p>The party and the feasts went on all day and into the evening. There were more toasts, and gifts and dances. When the sun sank down behind mountains then out came Gandalf’s fireworks. The hobbits, used to these, cheered happily, while the Men gazed on in wonder.</p><p>Frodo and Sam visited each of the parties, each of the groups that had come and they were blessed a hundred times over.</p><p>Pippin took Sam by the shoulder and presented him to the Tooks, proudly telling them all that Sam would be the next Mayor. Sam blushed but the Tooks didn’t treat it as a joke. There was kindness and respect in their words, and Sam made several friends among Pippin’s family.</p><p>At last, Frodo and Sam retreated, changing into clothes more suitable for dancing. Elrond had gifted them with fine robes dyed midnight blue, with delicate stars embroidered near the neck.</p><p>Sam came up behind him and slipped his arms around Frodo, gazing at the way the robe hung down his body. Sam kissed his ear.</p><p>“Come, they’re waiting for us,” he said.</p><p>They joined hands and went out once more and then down to the pavilion by the River, where the Tooks were playing soft Shire ballads. There were cheers at their appearance and the dance floor cleared to let them move to the center. Frodo took Sam’s hand and guided him into a dance. There was beautiful familiar music in their ears, soft pops of fireworks bursting overhead, and the smell of delicious food, and comforting pipe smoke.</p><p>The music shifted into a slow warm song and Sam moved closer, pressing a kiss to Frodo’s mouth. Frodo kissed back and closed his eyes in bliss as he raised his face and nuzzled Sam.</p><p>“You are the love of my life,” Sam whispered, “and I am so happy to be wed to you. There’s nothing that makes me happier, just knowing we’re wed.”</p><p>Frodo opened his eyes and reached up to stroke his cheek.</p><p>“And you,” Frodo said, “You are my love, my companion through all things, my light in the darkness and you have been for a long time now.”</p><p>Sam kissed his forehead.</p><p>Frodo was awash in love and joy and he did not want the night to end. It was like a space out of time- a miracle all on its own, and one made for him and for Sam. To have Bilbo and Hamfast and all of their friends and so many people from all corners of Arda drawn here to celebrate their union in this beautiful blessed place seemed like a dream. And yet, as Frodo opened his eyes he was met with reminders of just how special and real this was.</p><p>There were Dwarves teaching hobbits their methods for roasting mutton, and Men lounging with Brandybucks who were sharing out their best pipe weeds, and there were Elves dancing and singing with horse lords and Dwarves. And there by the fire, Bilbo and Hamfast were telling stories to each other, reminiscing, and glancing to the dance floor, watching their boys dance and trade kisses.</p><p>Frodo blinked slowly, before setting his cheek to Sam’s shoulder, soaking it all in. He felt Sam’s arms around his back, strong and warm.</p><p>Frodo was alive. They both were and at the end of it all, the evil had not conquered them.</p>
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<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Epilogue</h2></a>
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    <p>Frodo sat back in his seat by the window, and watched as the afternoon light turned golden over the Hill and the shadows lengthened in the lands below Bag End. Frodo sipped his tea and ran his hand through Sam’s curls. Sam was laying with him on the window seat, his head in Frodo’s lap, dozing. </p><p>They’d had the Shire wedding the day before, down on the Party Field. Sam’s sisters had fussed over both of them and found ways to keep the snootier members of Frodo’s family at a distance during the ceremony, easing Frodo’s mind considerably. Frodo smiled and blessed them silently. </p><p>Sam shifted, rubbing his cheek on Frodo’s thigh, and sleepily slipped his hand into Frodo foothair, stroking the soft curls. </p><p>“Have you done much writing lately?” Sam asked suddenly. Frodo blinked, and turned to look over at his writing desk, where the Book was propped up. </p><p>“I’m afraid not,” Frodo admitted. “But I will. I promised Bilbo, after all.” Sam hummed agreeably. “Why?” Frodo asked, curious. </p><p>“Well,” Sam murmured, “I’ve been wondering, would it be alright if I wrote some of it?” </p><p>“Of course. It is your story as much as mine.”</p><p>“Well.”</p><p>“I do intend to write more on it, but,” Frodo paused, “there’s plenty of time.”</p><p>Sam turned in his lap and gazed up at him. There was a softness, a drowsy peace in his face, but even so his cheeks flushed in happiness and his eyes were bright. </p><p>“There is,” he agreed. Frodo smiled, brushed his hair back, then leaned down and kissed him. </p>
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